Smg4 Fanfiction: Crystal Splezter - Mario's bed and breakfast

Plot: Mario and Bob have an idea that...actually works?

(March 27th - 2021)

Just over two weeks had past since Meggy went on her vacation. In the present, Mario approached her house.

Mario: I'm so hungry!! The fridge in Meggy's house should have some spaghetti.

Mario walked to the front door, but was confused when it had a sign promoting "Bob's bed and breakfast". To add to his confusion, some angry people ran out as one was slammed against the post box. An ambulance came, took the post box and left.

Walking in, Mario saw Bob standing before a pile of burning luggage.

Bob: What's up Mario? Welcome to me new air BnB!

Unfortunately, his business didn't seem that profitable. Bug creatures were eating the buffet, the kitchen was packed with dirty dishes, Thanos's head had caught on fire from listening to Bob's records of music and The pool outside was frozen solid.

Angry customers crowded around Bob...

Goomba: We want a refund! We want a refund!

Koopa: Give me back my money!

Bob: Um...um...how about a complementary bar of soap?

Among the chaos, Mario went into Meggy's fridge and was crushed by several thousand pieces of paper. Taking a closer look at one, he saw that Meggy's name was on an overdue warning.

Mario: What the hell is this?

Bob: Oh, I got a loan under Meggy's name to pay for this business. If I can't pay it back, she'll lose her house!

Mario was lost in his head. If that happened, she'd be homeless when she got back. What's worse was the idea that Bob would probably end up as her neighbour and Mario knew that would be a fate worse then death!

Screaming in a Panic, Mario used Thanos's infinity gauntlet to open a black hole. He kicked all the garbage, broken junk and angry customers into it.

Mario: Okay Bob! We're going to work together to make the best damn hotel ever! Though I think we might need to change locations...

Bob: Is this because of the rats?

Mario: No, because Tari and Crystal would have our heads if they see we're using their home as a hotel...

Bob: Then what's your plan?

Mario gave his usual dumb eyes...then he ran out of the house at top speed and all the way to Egad laboratory's.

Egad: At last, after 3 years of work, I've finished my matter copy machine-!

Mario kicked him and snatched it away. Coming back to Meggy's place, he moved the entire place over two feet to make room as he used the laser beam and copied her entire house. Looking from the outside with Bob, Meggy now had two identical houses.

Bob: Bro, your a freaking genius sometimes!

Mario: Yahoo!

Mario and Bob exchanged a high five, which Mario immediately regretted when he remembered Bob had sword hands.

Setting up their hotel business in the Newly built house, people came walking in to look at their new and improved business.

Mario: Welcome!!!

They had upgraded the Tv's and sitting areas, set up a spaghetti buffet, built in a new pool (Which was really just a bath tub) and put a statue of Mario in the centre hall.

Mario put a complimentary mint chocolate on the pillow, bringing in one chocolate crazy guest. Meanwhile, cooking Mama took a bite of the spaghetti and was shocked by how good it was.

Cooking Mama: Wow! How did you make this so tasty!

Bob: Oh, we have several taste testers sample our dishes to improve our recipes!

Nearby, a toad was sampling a plate of Spaghetti...then immediately dropped dead on the floor. Mario threw his corpse in the trash with the others and walked away.

Then it was story time for the kids! Mario made them all laugh out loud by showing them Meggy's diary, including pictures of the girl back when she was an inkling and wore tutu's.

Then Mario brought a trolly of tools into the garage for Mr Monitor...

Mario: Here's the tools you ordered!

Who was currently in the middle of interrogating Mr Resetti.

Mr Moniter: Thank you for your wonderful room service.

Monty mole: Help!

Back by the door, Bob went to greet a female Goomba at the front door.

Bob: Hello, you asked to see me?

She stared at Bob...and then...

(KAREN MODE ACTIVATED)

Karen Goomba: You call this service?! This place is a joke! I demand full compensation!

Bob: Please come with me.

Bob dragged the still screaming woman to a safe where they kept all the other Karen's and locked her in their.

With the business succeeding like never before, Mario gave Bob another high five...once again forgetting he had swords for hands.

Mario: Ow!

...

Later that morning on the Mushroom kingdom news broadcast...

Kermit: Our top story today, a brand new air BnB has become the talk of the town, receiving instant 5 star reviews and becoming an instant success overnight!

In the castle, Mario and Bob had gathered the gang to show them this report.

Bob: Now you know why we need to expand our business! Help us expand and you can design any room you want inside!

Everyone was shocked by this generosity, though Tari was sceptical...

Tari: I don't know...does Meggy know about all this?

Mario: Does it matter if she loses her house?

Tari: (Thinks) Nevermind, I'm fine with it.

Mario went to Smg4...

Mario (Whispering): Anything you want...

From their, everyone cheered as they agreed.

Smg4: Alright, count us in!

Bob: Okay!!! First up, let's expand!

And before the day was up, Meggy now had a near 10 story building standing next to her house.

Passing Pedestrian: That's a huge B****!

...

In the advertisement, Mario and Bob announced the "Bob and Breakfast 2!"

Bob: Welcome you sexy people to the best hotel in the goddamn world! Here, you'll be given 1st class treatment the minute you walk in!

Saiko manned the front Desk and rang the bell as two duck people asked for a room. Axol came in with the luggage carrier and was immediately crushed by several suitcases. Saiko threw both the customers onto the carrier and shoved them in the elevator.

Bob: Enjoy our luxurious suites that can fit your whole family!

Melony was fast asleep in the suite, housing almost 10 other beds and several other guests.

Bob: Let off steam in our certified Paintball arena!

A couple guests scoped around a corner, then we're immediately shot and splattered by Desti as she laughed.

Bob: Play in our immersive 5-D video game VR area!

Using her meta abilities, Tari brought PAC-Man outside of the tv and unknowingly caused chaos in the whole room.

Bob: Relax at our fabulous sauna!

Kratos and a few other muscled men were relaxing, though Kratos wondered why their was a mirror. Unknown to anyone, it was actually Luigi behind one-way glass.

Bob: Get rid of your kids for awhile in our totally legal Daycare!

Crystal was sitting among a few other kids, building a block structure that toppled over onto the old man caretaker.

Bob: Attend exciting conversations and meet special celebrities!

In the Conversation, Smg4 stood at a meet and greet. Unfortunately, he sighed as he was the only in their.

Bob: Come and dine at our 5 star maid cafe!

Wimpu and Boopkins stood in front of the cafe, where one of the male waifu's waved to Wimpu.

Wimpu: Why must I...disappoint my family like this.

Bob: Book your stay today at Bob and Breakfast 2, now with clean water!

The advertisement shut off as Tom nook turned off the Tv. Being the owner of his own hotel branch, he was fuming with rage.

Tom nook: They're taking all of our business!

...

Guests crowded into the hotel to try and get a room. Mario greeted them as they talked and mingled, but still not one person talked to Smg4.

Saiko meanwhile guided the same hobo's from Meggy's waitressing job a few weeks back to their "room", two boxes with a trash bin.

Hobo 1: Oh boy! Right next to the buffet!

Both hobo's jumped into the trash and started eating it.

Mario looked on with a smile, but suddenly, a line of busses pulled up in front of the hotel. Exiting with a line of bodyguards was Tom nook.

Tom nook: We are from the hotel owners association! You're stealing all of our business, so we're here to shut you down!

Nook snapped his fingers. Almost immediately, a hoard of nostalgia critics appeared as Wimpu looked through the Keyhole.

Wimpu: Oh no! Hotel critics! They'll give us a bad review!!!

An incredible muscle toned Isabelle joined next to Nook and told them to bring it on. Bob and Mario gave a look before...

Bob: Yo, come and get some B*tches!

Mario: Let's a go!

Mario pulled a button from his hat and pressed it, setting off the hotel alarm and alerting everyone to be ready to fight.

Tom nook: Go give em a bad review!

The critics charged forward as Axol ran out the front door, pushing a luggage carrier with Saiko riding on it.

Axol: Here! Allow me to take your luggage!

Axol rammed the carrier into them as Saiko whacked them away with her hammer. Some made a mad dash for the door, but were blocked off by Melony as she made a wall of pillows.

She threw a series of pillows at the critics, dealing extraordinary damage with the extra spiky ones. Off to the building side, Some critics crawled into the vents.

A group of 3 landed in the spa room, but Luigi blocked off the door with a wheelie cart. Turning the temperature up to the max, he put a do not disturb sign on and walked away.

Another group of critics landed into the paintball area, but Desti simply waved before setting of a series of Splatter-bombs.

They were knocked right through the walls, awaking to see Crystal standing above them with a bunch of other toddlers holding toys.

Crystal: Get them!

All the kids crowded around to attack them.

Downstairs in the maid cafe, Boopkins and Wimpu became worried before the vent behind them burst open. Critics poured in and started smashing everything in the cafe.

Boopkins: No, don't hurt my precious cafe!

Wimpu got punched to the floor as the maid from before saw. He jumped up and knocked the critics back through the vent, looking to Wimpu as the pink boy blushed.

Wimpu: Oh uh...thank you senpai?

Nook called in for air support as Critics started flooding in from the sky in parachutes. A cannon appeared on the hotel roof and started blasting them out of the sky.

Inside, Bob had hooked the cannon to be controlled by a game played by Tari, an Atari game with critics faces modded over the spaceships you had to shoot down.

Tari: This game is so much fun!

Bob: Right..........game.

Tom nook: Enough!

Nook was tired of playing games as Isabelle grabbed hold of Axol and Saiko, throwing them through Melony's barrier and back into Mario.

The critics swarmed into the hotel as Mario, Melony, Axol and Saiko ran for their lives. Smg4 assumed the wrong thing when he saw the critics coming in.

Smg4: Finally! My fans are here!

The critics crowded around Smg4 and started beating him up. The rest of the critics went to the hotel lobby and started recording bad reviews as Mario and Bob watched on in horror.

Bob: They're leaving bad reviews all over the Internet!

The 5 star rating on the wall plummeted back down to 4.

Mario: No! We need to stop them!!

Mario went to stop them, but some of the critics had guns and started shooting at them, forcing him to duck behind the front desk.

Mario: Bob...what can we do?

Bob: What any decent manager can do in times like this!

Bob came up from under the desk, holding a megaphone.

Bob: Attention everyone! You will all be given a free nights stay here at the hotel along with complementary meals and more!

Thankfully, that's all it took to convince them...

Mario started checking them in as Saiko and Tari watched over the critics in the pool area. Bob recklessly sold some of Meggy's old clothes and Wimpu had to replace the maids in doing a dance.

Wimpu: I am so sorry mom and dad.

Smg4 also changed his celebrity meet-up into a comedy club, where he and Luigi showed the audience baby pictures of Meggy. That earned plenty of laughs as Smg4 finally got the Recognition he deserved.

Axol meanwhile was left with Melony to persuade Tom Nook.

Axol: Come on and try out our beds! They're made from the softest pillows in the world!!!

Melony could confirm this, helping Mr Nook to lie down.

Tom nook: Pfft, yeah right. As if they're that good-

The moment Nook lied down however, his eyes went wide. In a bed this soft, he could recall his childhood where he could sleep all day and not give a care in the world about his family troubles.

It got to the point where he started crying, causing Melony and Axol to shrug as they didn't know what was happening.

Tom nook: This hotel...isn't that bad after all...

With that, Mario and Bob watched gleefully as the star rating went back to 5. Tari looked on with Crystal when she looked at her phone and saw Meggy calling her.

Tari: (Answers) Hey Meggy!

Meggy: Hi Tari! Just wanted to call in, tell you I love you and miss you and Crystal. How's the house doing?

Tari: Uh, it's going good!

Meggy: And did you remember to feed the cat?

Tari's eyes went wide...she knew she forgot something...

To be continued...