14 "American flag"

4 months later

I worked for hours every day. So far the summer has been filled with fencing this and fencing that. Alone I would spend ours using large mallets to pound fence posts into the ground. At the edge of the property line I could see men pacing the ground on horse back. I had no idea who the men were nor what they were doing. I stayed in my small thought bubble. Constantly I would think of his face... his severed throat... the awful gut feeling I would feel thinking about his bloodless body. I keepThinking about what his body would look like now. Rotting in the dirt...or wherever they put him. Whatever they did with him I didn't want to know. I never spoke a word to anyone. I never brought it up to rip since it happened, quite honestly I didn't speak much at all anymore. I stayed to myself. I just wanted to make money so I could get out of here some day. I worked the property line with Colby. One of the working men who had worked on this ranch for years. He was the talkative type. I definitely was not. I think he disliked being paired up with me because of that. "Who's that?" Colby questioned as we both watched the men from afar. I didn't answer him. If I knew I would've said something. Colby kept an eye on the men as we worked some more. At this point it was mid July. It was hotter than Satans ass. After some time of healing I allowed myself to dress cooler in the summer. I allowed myself to wear scandalous tank tops once the bruises disappeared. I was able to gain some weight but mostly muscle. I still didn't like to eat but I gained some what of an appetite. I still couldn't sleep without seeing the horrors of my life but I was living with it. "I don't like the look of them willie. Wanna head back?" Colby questioned. I thought for a moment as the men grazed closer to us. I clenched my jaw as I wiped my hands on the back of my jeans. "Okay" I spoke gently. Gracefully Colby lifted me over the enclosed fence. Quickly we tossed our items into the back of our tractor. "I ain't never seen them boys in my life. I didn't like the look of them" I looked back as he sped through the fields. The older gentleman stared at us blankly with an evil stare. It was as if they were skin walkers or something. When arriving back we were given dirty looks by rip as he hopped down of his horse "thought I gave you two a job?" Colby panted "we finished up on the south end. There was some odd looking cowboys over there. Old guys. I've never seen them before in my life" Colby dragged the sweat off his forehead as he tiredly reached for his water. Rip glanced at me to see if I knew anything. As usual I shook my head. I didn't have a clue "they were just watching us. It was weird. I felt unsafe for willie" he spoke. Liar he was more scared than me. "Alright. Alright. Go on join the boys" rip patted his shoulder before Colby wondered off. Rip held his hand over my warm cheek. "You alright?" He questioned sweetly. I simply nodded my head. "You feelin better?" I nodded again. "You know you can talk right. You ain't mute" I looked down at my hands as I pulled my gloves off. "I ain't got nothin to say" I spoke faintly. Rip sigh before looking back at his cowboys. "Wanna stay for supper tonight?" He asked with a smile. I thought for a moment. I haven't stepped foot in that area of the property in months. I can't look at it. I'm scared I'm going to walk by and see blood on the grass. I'm scared I'm going to walk in the house and relive the entire situation all over again. I took awhile to answer. Rips hand rubbed my back "it's alright honey. We can try again soon" he spoke as he pulled his horse towards him as he walked away from me. I frowned. I felt bad. Why do I have to be such a wimp. I pulled my hat off my head as I tiredly kicked rocks. "Comin by for supper" jimmy questioned as he shut the barn doors behind him. I shook my head as I cleared my voice. I haven't spoken to jimmy in a very long time. Parts of me refused.  I couldn't allow myself to talk to the man who led me to kill. I liked jimmy a lot. More than I have ever liked anybody. "No. I. Uh. I'm. J..just gonna Head home and go to bed" I spoke very soft and frail. Jimmy smiled softly as he nodded his head down. "Happy to hear your voice again willow" jimmy left me with a slight smile on my lips. He made my heart flutter in a good way. The way Fred did when I first met him. God. I can't stop thinking about him. When I made my tired way to the house I noticed Casey's truck in the driveway. I haven't seen that truck in months either. I assumed there was just another falling out between those two. Meaning daddy and Casey. I never thought anything of it. Casey left me long ago. I learned to never be surprised by him. I stepped into the living room to see my father talking to his grandson. Laughing and smiling. "Hey aunt Willie!!" Tate smiled as he waved his hand. I nodded my head at him with a slight smile. "Need something?" Jamie questioned me from looking up from piles of papers. I furrowed my brows. "Uh...no" I mumbled. "Carry on then" he demanded from me. I looked down at the bridge of my hat I held in my hands. "You don't tell her what to do. Last time I checked you're just her brother" Casey mentioned. Jamie chuckled. "Last time I checked she works for dad. She isn't working with dad like I am. But if she's anything like you she doesn't work at all!" He smiled a wide evil smile. "Enough you two" my father spoke up. Jamie ignored Casey's next thought as he answered a phone call. "Dad. It's lee. There's a problem at the border" he spoke quickly as he pawned his cellphone off to him. "Shit. Casey. Come with me" my father spoke as he grabbed his hat off of the table. "Everything okay?" I questioned. "Yeah yeah. Jamie watch Tate " my father demanded. "Hell no!" Casey and Jamie spoke at one time. "Willie. You. Please watch Tate " Casey begged as he loaded a pistol in his pocket. I glanced over at Tate then back at Casey. Before I could reject the offer he was gone. I looked down at Tate nervously. "So what do you wanna do!?" Tate smiled. I sighed as I walked to my bedroom. Tate followed me down the hall. I looked back at him as I reached my door "you have to follow me? Can't just watch tv or something?" I questioned. "I don't want to watch tv"

"Okay..well" I pushed open my bedroom door for him before he entered. As he did so he gazed at my bedroom walls and my bedroom nick nacks. "I have to shower. Play with whatever you want" I spoke as I shoved a very old toy chest that had the name BETH written in pink and white polka dots. "Why does it say Beth?" He questioned. From the bathroom I replied. "I have never owned anything of my own. I always received my older siblings things as gifts. No matter how rich my dad was" Tate stayed quiet as I showered. "You still there?" I'd call out once and awhile. He would respond with a 'yeah' followed by a giggle. I got myself dress in the bathroom before stepping out in fresh clothes. He had toys sprawled out everywhere. I didn't mind. He lodged his head as he laid on my bed. "My dad has that shirt" he pointed to an American flag on my baggy stained T-shirt. "Had. Your mom brought me a bag of clothes she didn't need anymore. Hand me down" I spoke. "Oh! I get it now!" He huffed. "What are you huffing for?" I questioned. "I'm hungry" he complained as he pulled a Barbie's leg apart. "Hungry.... Hm.. I can make a grilled cheese?" "Nah! I want meat. Men eat meat!" He demanded. I smiled slightly. "Okay. Come on with me" I took his hand to quickly lead him to the bunkhouse. I was hoping there would still be supper left. As I entered the boys were already arguing about something. That something I would never know. "Willie! Hey darlin what you doing in here miss Nelson. Who's your friend!?" Lloyd smiled brightly. Without a word I made Tate a plate. Without hesitation Tate took that plate then sat at the table like he's been here a million times. "You baby sittin honey?" Lloyd questioned. "I'm trying" I say softly. "Your daddy ever teach you some good tunes son!?" Ryan asked as he turned up the radio. "My daddy doesn't turn on the radio"

"He doesn't even turn the damn thing on!? That's bullshit!"

"It is bullshit!" Tate replied. Quickly the men laughed at his confidence. "Let me show you some dance moves boy get over here!!" As Tate was swung around and taught to dance I sat down at the table with my knees to my chest watching closely. As I watched him I twisted a threat around on my fingers that came from the bottom of my ripped Jean shorts. "You alright?" Lloyd whispered. I nodded my head slowly. "I'm fine. Just baby sitting"

"Well that doesn't mean you gotta keep an eye on him the entire time. Why don't you go Dance with the sad boy in the corner huh? I think he likes you a lot " Lloyd winked. My cheeks warmed up as I smiled slightly at my fingers. "I can't" I whispered. "Yes you can darlin..just try"

"N...no Lloyd I..I can't" I gulped down my emotions as I looked Lloyd in the eyes. Lloyd frowned heavily at my reaction. "Alright baby. Okay honey... at least eat something. You're a twig" Lloyd slapped a plate of food down in front of me. Like usual I reached for my dinner roll and picked at that for the next hour. My eyes couldn't help but watch jimmy watch the dance party from afar. He looked saddened. He looked exhausted. He must've thought he did something wrong. I had to push myself to speak to him again. I stood up as I adjusted my baggie T-shirt. I stepped over to him as he laid down on his bunk. As I approached him he sat up quickly. "You wanna..dance?" I asked quietly. Jimmy stood up almost instantly. He stood up with a smile. "Sure okay! I mean..I mean yeah. Sure whatever" gently he pulled me into him. As soon as he did so the music turned slow. Emotionally slow. It was as if the universe knew I needed it. Gently I leaned myself forwards. I laid my head on his neck then shut my eyes. Jimmy wasn't hesitating at all to hold me and sway my body comfortingly. I shut my eyes as If I do this on a regular." I haven't stopped thinking about you" I whispered to him. He hummed a smile as he rubbed my back. "Ive tried to stop myself..just in case you didn't ya know..like me anymore" I smiled softly as I laughed slightly "I like you a-lot..I just had a-lot of stuff going on you know..like-"

"What is going on here!? Why the hell are you all so loud huh!?" Ripa loud voice caused me to jump as he burst into the room. I stepped into view while holding onto jimmy. Rips angry demeanor weakened as he saw my presence. I gave him a small smile. "How did I know you were behind this?" He was a little taken aback as he saw I was dancing with jimmy. I pulled away from jimmy to confront him. "I just..wanted some fun is all" I spoke softly. Rip pushed my damp hair then kissed my temple. "That's alright but Casey is looking for his son"

"Their back already? Tate. Come on. Your dad is back!" I called out to him. Tate grumbled as he stopped dancing around. "Fine!" He complained. I grabbed Tate's hand with a small smile as I walked him back to the house. "God I wish I had siblings! I get all the toys I want! All the clothes and shoes! I even get to dance all night with them! Man Willie you're lucky!" He spoke with a very bright smile. I frowned a little bit after smiling "when the time comes you will have siblings.. but you gotta listen to me Tate" I stopped him in his tracks then made him face me "promise me that when you have siblings you will treat them with more love than you could ever afford to give. Play with them and love them till your heart stops okay?"

"Okay!! I will! I'll also give them all my toys!"I smiled softly "I can hand my toys down to you too"

"Awesome!" He laughed loudly. "Tate!! Jesus Tate!! Where have you been!" Casey ran over with panic in his voice. "Where the hell did you take him!?"

"Just to the bunkhouse. We ate supper"

"Yeah daddy!! We ate supper and danced all night long!!"

"A bunkhouse!? Full of booze smoke and guns?! Very safe Willie!!" Casey scoffed as he checked his son for markings. "He's fine Casey..we had fun"

"Yeah we did! I got to drink Pepsi! And! I get to keep all of willies toys!" Tate smiled wide as he bounced in place. "A bunkhouse isn't for a kid!"

"That's where I grew up" I spoke up softly. "Yeah and see how you came out. Last thing I need is for Tate to be-" Casey sighed as he grasped his 8 year olds hand. "Come on Tate" Casey mumbled. I frowned heavily "to...to be what...Casey.." "Nothing will .. just forget it. Thanks for watching him" Casey dragged his son to the house to grab his things "go on and get your backpack buddy" I looked around me as I hugged myself tightly. What did he mean? "If you...you have something to say Casey...just...just say it" I sadly prepared myself for pain. "You wanna tell me about what happened between you and longs?" Not the question I was expecting My heart sunk into my stomach. I stayed quiet. "Any day now!" He demanded. I let out a shaky breath. "Who..told you"

"Ain't no body told me anything Willie. Now I know for a fact somthing happened. What was it?"

"Hey dad!? Can I take home some toys!?" Tate shouted from the porch. "Yeah buddy! Yeah!" He waited for Tate to leave before asking me again "what happened between you and longs. Tell me why he told me to tell you he'll be back for you? Why was he Taunting lee and i?" When I heard those words my stomach became sick. My heart was pounding. "I...I can't tell you" I whispered. "Tell me now will now. Now!" I didn't speak. I still stayed silent. I stepped back to try to leave the situation. As I did so Casey aggressively grabbed my arms shaking me violently. "Speak!! Are you fucking dumb!? Willie fucking speak!! Talk!" I began to cry as Casey's reaction was terrifying. Everything that has happened to me has hit me all at once in that moment. "They..they..they followed m..me home from school!!" I cried. "They followed me to the 190!! There was too many of them! I couldn't stop them! It's not my fault!" I cried harder. I hugged myself tightly as I stumbled back away from Casey. "Who are they?"

"I...I don't know..b..boys I went to..to school with..they...they got their revenge" I sobbed harshly so harsh it was hard to breath "they got their white girl revenge!" I fell to my knees as I began to feel sick. Casey crouched down to assist me. "Please Casey" I sobbed "please don't ask anymore! Please!" Casey pulled me into his arms. "I...I won't Willie...I won't"

"It wasn't my fault!! It wasn't!! I didn't ask for it! I was 15! I just wanted to go home!" I cried harder. "I'm so sorry! Please don't tell! Please Casey! Please!!" I sobbed loudly into his chest. "I won't...I won't..."