7 "class of 2013"

2013

Senior year

"Daddy" I called out as my brothers follow my father out into the middle of the field to get to his helicopter. My father spoke to my brothers about two different conversations at once. "Daddy! Wait!" I ran behind him with an important reminder. My father waved off my brothers. My brothers both stood in the lawn to watch him board his plane. "Daddy!""What Willie!? What do you want from me? Can't you see im in a rush!" My father scoffed. I stepped back before frowning heavily. "It better be important" I looked down. "Nevermind... I love you daddy have a safe trip" My father rolled his eyes before the door shut after him. The strong current of wind whipped my hair in different directions. I hung my head as I walked back towards the house.  "I love you daddy" Lee spoke in a high pitched voice. Lee and Jamie laughed and mocked me as I followed home. "Shut up!"

"At some point you'll learn dad Isnt affectionate"

"Trust me. I've realized that a lot sooner than y'all" I tugged on the door of my very old beat up Chevy truck. "Where are you headed now?" Lee questioned. "Like you care?""You're right. I don't" Lee snickered to himself. I ignored his ignorant laughter then continued to speed down the driveway. I was extremely late for my graduation. That's right. I made it. I stuck to it. No matter what happened to me. I did it. I didn't need anybody to show me a path or way of doing things. I don't need a high five every time I do something. I did it all on my own without anybody knowing anything about me. When I was 15 I had the worst thing to ever happen to a woman happened to me. The only one who knew about it was me and rip. Rip promise to keep it to himself and he did. I told him that I don't know the boys who did it and I didn't recognize any other faces. But in reality I know exactly who did it I knew exactly what classes they were in. Every class that I had since the age of 15 at least one of them were in it. Like I always did I stayed quiet and stayed away from everyone else. That's how I spent my entire years of high school.I made it to the auditorium where the small ceremony was taking place. We all stood in line in alphabetical order. I looked around me, realizing that I was the only white girl in the entire 2013 graduating class. The families and parents laughed at my appearance. Whispers and antagonizing continued as I waited for my name to be called. I watched the entire crowd not a white person in sight. Meaning none of my family was here nor were they going to show. I wasn't surprised I was expecting them not to show up. Although for some odd reason I still had a lot of Hope for my father thinking that maybe he would turn his ways. But I understand, I was a killer. Before I knew it it was my time to walk across the stage. My heart was pounding. I hated any kind of human attention.

"Willie Dutton"

The place began to whisper and cackle as I stepped across the stage. My palms were sweaty as I gripped that diploma. "You're Willie?" The head educator spoke. I nodded my head "Jesus kid. That name.. So sorry" he said with a rude yet laughing in mocking tone. They snapped the picture of me where of course I was frowning. I could see faces in the front row of the previous graduated class. that's where the monsters sat and laughed at me as I stepped off the stage. I could of course see the monsters but I couldn't even see my own family. I didn't stay for the rest of the ceremony. I just slipped off my cap and held my diploma to my chest as I quickly left the auditorium. My heart was pounding so fast and my legs were shaking so hard. The whole school new things that weren't the truth. Rumors were spread that I had sex with all these boys willingly. But only I knew the truth and no matter what I said I would never be believed.  "Hey wait! You're just gonna run off before I can give you these!?" A voice called out to me. I turned around to see rip holding a bouquet of flowers. "You came!?" I exclaimed very surprised. Rip smiled as he stomped his boots towards me. I leaped into his arms with tears rolling down my face. "How did you know!? When did you get here!"

"I ain't stupid. I've been to every school events you've been in. Why would I miss the most important one" he stroked the hair that stuck to my wet cheeks out of my face. His smile was pure. He rarely smiled but when he did he brought joy into my soul. "Thank you rip! Thank you!" He kissed my face as he held me in a hug. "I'm proud of you honey. I am. I really am" his hands held my face with a smile of a proud father. "Let's get home and celebrate. The boys are waiting for you"

"Waiting for me?" I followed him to the parking lot. "Yeah. We're celebrating baby girl" "Okay!"

...

I tapped my 2-in heels against the kitchen floor as I walked through the house holding my cap and my diploma. I heard small laughter as I entered the hallway. I peeked my head into the dining room where my father was enjoying dinner. My father wasn't alone. There sat Lee, Jamie and you guessed it. The devil himself. Beth. My father looked up at me. His face faded as he saw my cap and gown. He felt guilt. "That is the most hideous dress I've ever seen!" Beth snorted into her drink. I looked down at myself and then back up at them. "you weren't busy... You're...you're just an asshole" my voice cracked as tears began to flow. My father didn't say a word he was speechless. My father was frowning with guilt. "well congrats Willie" Jamie said after swallowing his mouthful. "Yeah congrats kid" Lee mumbled into his beer. "the high school diploma is the easiest diploma to get. Try going to collage. See how far you'll get" beth smirked. "M...maybe I will! And when I...I do I'll spit in your...your face! Because I don't need you! A..any of you! I..I did this..on..on my own!" I shouted in my father's direction. Once again my father didn't speak a word he just listened. Beth stood up "you're gonna let her talk to you like that daddy!?" I stepped back out of fear she was going to do something to me. "Sit down beth. Eat your damn dinner" my father mumbled. "Congratulations Willie. Wanna have a seat?" My father spoke up. I shook my head. "No. No! Screw you guys!" I stormed upstairs. Over the last couple years I taught myself to not get upset over my father's ignorance. I always find myself very upset over him. I watched my siblings grow up a lot sooner than me. I watched how they were treated and respected by my father. When they wanted their first car at the age of 16 they got a brand new car. When I wanted a car I had to save up for it. I spent my weekends working for my father only making so little. I was able to save up for a beat up old truck. I can only imagine what the conversation is going to be like if I want to go to college... Do I even bother going to college... I peeled my clothes off then put on something more comfortable. I cleaned up my puffy eyes then slipped on a jacket. I promised myself from this day forward I would never be disrespected the way I have been my entire life. I will never need anyone to be successful. I will never need validation again... But at the same time I also realized on this day that I am weak... Very weak.. for some reason I will forever care about my father and his opinions. I'm stuck underneath Beth's thumb too. Although she killed the child inside of me, she still had reign over me. She threatens to tell my father about my past even if she has no idea what happened. she'll make it up. I slowly began to realize that I'm stuck and there's no way out...