6 "take my life"

My body was damaged beyond repair. I bled for weeks. I refused to tell anyone about what happened to me. I refused doctors visits. Rip constantly begged me to see a doctor. All I wanted was to forget everything that had ever happened. I stayed in bed for days on end. I never wanted to see another man again. I was scared of the world outside. I found myself sitting on the toilet just wishing for the pain to stop. I held my gut in agonizing pain. "Willie!" Beth called out. Fuck does she want. "I'm busy!" I called out. "What are you doing? Shitting?" She opened my bathroom door. I quickly covered myself as she walked in. She stared at the floor where droplets of blood soaked into my bath mat. "Put a tampon in" she spoke. I shook my head. "It ain't that" I grumbled. She furrowed her brows. "Where are you bleeding from"

"Why do you care? Leave me alone. Get out!"

She glanced over at the garbage can in my bathroom, it was filled with bloody towels. "Rip told me to check on you. What's going on" I sighed heavy with aggravation. "You don't give a fuck so leave me alone"

"Have you been to a gyno?"

"A what?"

"Gynecologist?"

"English beth"

"A fucking pussy doctor kid. Have you seen a pussy doctor?"

"...no"

Beth sighed then rubbed her face. "Let's go. I'll take you right now"

"I'm not going anywhere"

"Willie. Plug yourself and let's go. There probably isn't a gyno open. I'll take you to a clinic"

I listened to her. Maybe I can get something to ease my pain. So I thought.... I sat on a cold table with a gown that wouldn't close. I was extremely uncomfortable in the position I was put in. The doctor poked and pried at my young body oooing and aweing at what they had to see. "You're torn. Your cervix is torn to pieces. What have you done to yourself?" The doctor asked. I shrugged my shoulders as I tried not to cry. Beth stared at me with a look of curiosity. "Your vaginal wall is torn open. You're bleeding profusely. I suggest you never do what you did again. This could've lead to an infection. I'm going to leave you with some antibiotics. Im going to check your results from your urine sample before sending you on your way" the doctor stepped out. I stared at the pink tiled floor. I was shaking so bad I couldn't hold my legs still. "You nasty bitch. You're 15. Wild sex shouldn't be on your mind" beth laughed aloud. She was making fun of me with so much joy in her laugh. "I didn't.." "Ew. I don't want to know any details then" I looked up as the doctor knocked outside the door. The doctor walked in a bit puzzled. "So I'll be switching out your antibiotics for one that is safe to take while pregnant" she spoke slowly and cautiously. "Shouldn't I take the stronger one?" The doctor shook her head. "Not now miss dutton. You're tests came back all fine. The only thing to alarm me is that you are pregnant I'm sure you knew that" she spoke with a tad bit of concern. "What?" My eyes widened at the doctor. "There has to be a mistake" I gulped. "Just relax miss dutton. There are many options for you. I know you're very young and this is scary but-"

"Pregnant!? You! Of all people are fucking pregnant!" Beth shouted. "That's bullshit!"

"Now ladies. Relax. It isn't all that bad i-"

"You're getting an abortion!" Beth screamed. I've never seen her more upset about something in my life. Why was my life being destroyed affecting her. I didn't get a chance to speak. "Abort it now" beth demanded. The doctor was a bit startled from Beth's response. "I can't just-"

"Yes the fuck you can! Yes you can! I'm the guardian I give you permission! Kill that fucking thing! Last thing we need is another one of her!"The doctor looked at me expecting me to come up with a decision right now. I was so terrified and hurt that I didn't know what to do. "Ma'am...her tissue needs to heal over before I can do anything to her body"

"Oh that's fucking ridiculous. Get your fucking clothes on. We're leaving!" Beth slammed the door as she stormed out of the building. I sat alone with the doctor. The doctor rubbed my back and reassured that I had options and that this wasn't the only way out. I didn't listen I was too distraught silently distraught. The ringing in my ears just continued. After some time I put on my clothes, grabbed my pills. I went out into the parking lot. "If you won't abort it, I'll fucking abort it for you!" Beth shouted in the car as I got in. "Why do you care so much" I hung my head. Beth began to get emotional she started screaming with tears in her eyes "IF I CANT BE A MOTHER YOU CANT EITHER!" She stopped herself from giving too much away. What happened to her? Why am I being punished for what happened to her? "Fucking forget it! You're killing it! If you like it or not!" Beth began to drive extremely fast. Uncontrollably fast. I look down at her fancy  cars center console to see open liquor bottles. I looked over my shoulder, in the backseat were more empty bottles. She was drunk as shit. "Out of all people. You can't be a mother if you didn't have a mother. You took the most important thing away from me so I'm going to take the most important thing away from you! That's how this FUCKING WORKS!" she screamed with her breathing hyperventilating. She was mental. She was going mentally insane. I gripped the seat in fear of us crashing. "You were an accident. You yourself should've never been born!" I was terrified of Beth I was terrified of her loud voice and her angry mannerism. "If you were never fucking born I would still have a fucking mom right now! I would be the one fucking pregnant!! I would be the one with kids!! With a fucking future!! You took everything away from me!!"

"I didn't take anything from you!! I was baby!! I don't even remember her face!! I dont even remember what happened!! I didn't kill anyone!"

"Shut your mouth!! I'll kill us both right fucking now!"

"It's not my fault our mother is dead! It's not my fault!"

"She isn't your mother!! She hates you!"

"From what I heard she hated you too!!"

"FUCK YOU!!"

scrrrreeeeeech

Crash..... suddenly all the pain I was feeling went away...