WEEK ONE: Sunday (Touji)

I raced to archery club on Sunday morning in the hopes that Yuzuru might be there, but he wasn't. Distraught and exhausted, I shot terribly, earning a lecture from our teacher on how my greatest weakness was lack of mental discipline. I took the criticism without emotion, because he was right. All my energy was wrapped up in what was happening with Yuzuru.

After I'd had that brief glimpse of him yesterday, and his friend Koike had basically threatened me within an inch of my life for hurting him, my guilt and panic went through the roof. I lurked outside the assembly hall, waiting for his class dance practice to get out, but when his classmates came filing out he wasn't among them. I managed to corner his less scary friend, the nerdy guy with the glasses, who told me Yuzuru had gone home early because he was sick. I must have texted him a dozen times, but he wouldn't reply or pick up my calls. The longer I went without hearing from him, the more awful and scared I felt.

Was this his way of ending things between us? Was he that angry? I knew he had some insecurities about Shino, but I thought we'd gotten all that straight last week. It probably did look fishy, me hugging her like that, and I was a moron for letting her manipulate me into it. I was willing to bet she'd done it on purpose, just like she'd used Umeki to force me to eat with her, then set me and my brother up for that insane last-minute work problem as some kind of revenge for not giving her the attention she wanted. If her scheming ended up costing me Yuzuru I would never forgive her.

After we were done shooting our rounds, cleanup took much longer than usual because we also had to prepare the dojo for Monday's demonstrations. I had to take charge of setting up the beverage stand, which meant a few trips back and forth from the gym to grab the extra equipment and make sure the outlets worked and there was an extra cash box ready and there were enough cups and napkins and pitchers to serve a second group of people. I snapped a picture of the finished setup and texted it to Natsuki, because he had final say on whether it was satisfactory. Even a tiny booth at a high school festival was a representation of our family's company, and it was his job to ensure we met the standard. A few seconds later my phone pinged, and he'd sent me a thumbs up.

The school was a lot busier than usual for a Sunday, with students running around putting the finishing touches on all our festival stuff. We would open tomorrow, just to family and alumni on the first day, but everything still had to be ready to go. When club got out at noon, I made my way up to Yuzuru's classroom, harboring the faint hope that maybe I'd find him there. I poked my head in.

I didn't see him, but it took his friends no time to spot me.

"Need something?" Koike asked, giving me the same dirty look she'd thrown at me yesterday.

"Is— Is Yuzuru-san here today?"

"He's still sick," the guy with the glasses said. "At least, I think he is."

"You're not sure?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"Haven't heard from him since last night."

Koike sighed. "Me either, my calls are going straight to voicemail."

"What's wrong with him?" I asked hesitantly. I didn't want to get my head chewed off again, but the not-knowing was killing me. Sometimes it actually felt like I was choking on it. Like now, for instance, when my throat was closing up and I could feel the instinct to hyperventilate setting in.

Koike eyed me up and down. "We should be asking you that." She looked around the classroom, took my sleeve, and pulled me and the other guy both out into the hall. There, they backed me against the wall and hemmed me in with crossed arms and accusing glares.

"I normally wouldn't do this, but since Shino won't say anything, you're going to explain what happened between you guys on Friday."

Glasses-guy nodded emphatically, and I cringed. "Um..."

"One minute he won't shut up about how much he likes you. Blabbing like an imbecile about how he's gonna go on a date with you after school, never mind who might overhear. Then he shows up late on Saturday morning looking like somebody burned his house down overnight, and freaks out when we even say his name. What the hell is going on?"

I shrank back against the wall, my head spinning. He'd told his friends about us? Though it sounded like at least Koike understood the potential implications, even if he didn't. I was glad for that. Then I realized what she'd just said. Freaks out when we say his name. They probably had no idea what that meant, but I did. If it was really that bad... god, what had I done? No wonder they both looked like they wanted to skin me alive. Part of me was making an admiring mental note that he had such loyal friends, while the rest was trying to figure out how to stop them from flaying me with their eyes.

"It's a misunderstanding," I said, looking from one to the other. "Really."

"Must be a pretty big one," glasses-guy commented dryly.

Koike rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, this is Shino we're talking about, so..." She turned back to me. "When exactly are you planning on clearing up this... misunderstanding?"

"I'm trying. But he won't answer any of my messages or calls." I heard my voice wavering and pressed my lips together, hard. It would be humiliating to have a breakdown in front of his friends.

"Humph." Koike exchanged looks with the other guy. "Typical Shino, running from whatever he thinks he can't handle. Well, sounds like you're going to have to go see him, then."

Wait, could I do that? I straightened up a little. "Would that be okay?"

"How the hell should I know? But he's going to stew until he drives himself—and us—crazy. So you'd better go take care of it. Do you have his address?"

I nodded.

"Good, then I don't have to give it to you. Just tell me one thing, first." She leaned toward me until her nose was centimeters from mine, and slivered her eyes. "Are you actually serious about him? Because he seems hell-bent on getting himself in a whole mess of trouble over you. If you're just playing with him, I swear to god..."

"I'm not, Senpai," I said quickly. "Not at all." She raised an eyebrow, and I got the distinct impression she was not letting me leave until I said it aloud. I felt my eyes stinging, and dropped them to the floor. "I... To me, he's..."

"You better not say 'important,'" she scoffed.

"I'm in love with him."

They both got quiet, and I raised my head. I figured they were going to make fun of me, or ask me to say it again, but they were just looking at me with expressions I couldn't quite read. I wondered if they believed me. It was a ridiculous thing to say when I'd only known him a couple of weeks, but that didn't make it any less true.

"Huh," was the only thing Koike said. Then, after a second, "What are you waiting around here for, then?" She pointed toward the stairs. "Go on, go talk to him. Hurry up."

I bowed to each of them and darted off in the direction she'd indicated. I pretty much ran the whole way to the train station, and bent over with my hands on my knees, panting, as I waited for the Minatomirai line. The train roared in with a rush of wind and noise, and I got on. The ride to East Kanagawa felt a lot longer than I remembered, probably because I was making the trip alone. But I spent the time trying to work out in my head what I should say when I saw him.

I didn't know she'd be there. I should never have touched her. I'm so sorry. Yuzuru-san, you're the only one I care about, please forgive me, I want to be with you...

God, I sounded so much like Shino. Would my excuses sound as shallow as hers always did?

My palms were sweaty by the time I got off the train, but I couldn't lose my nerve now. I left the station and followed the same path Yuzuru had shown me last week, up and over the green-painted footbridge above the street, and down the sidewalk several blocks until I was standing in front of his apartment building. I found the elevator, took it to the fifth floor, and then I was at his apartment door. The nameplate read simply, "Shino." I'd remembered how to get here, but it took me almost a full minute to gather the courage to press the bell.

There was a thundering of footsteps from inside, as if someone was running to the door, and then a metallic clank as it unlocked. It opened, revealing a pair of astonished, honey-colored eyes.

They didn't belong to Yuzuru, though. These were gazing out at me from a much younger and more feminine face, though her features were similar enough to her brother's to send a pang through my chest. Her mouth dropped open as she recognized me. "Hey, it's you again!"

I put my hands together and bowed. "Good afternoon. Is Yuzuru-san at home?"

Redness rose in her face. "Y—Yeah. I'm not sure if he's out of bed yet, though. I don't think he was expecting anybody."

I bowed again. "Yes, I heard he was unwell. I haven't been able to reach him, so... please accept my apologies for the intrusion."

She just stammered at me for a second, backing up as if she didn't want to lose eye contact, then shouted over her shoulder. "Yuzu-nii! You have a visitor!" She seemed to realize then that she hadn't invited me in, and her blush got even darker. "Oh, please come inside. I'll go get him."

I stepped in and closed the door behind me. Would it be too presumptuous to remove my shoes? It could make it harder for him to kick me out right away. Then again, depending on how this went, I might want to be able to make a hasty exit...

While I stood there deliberating, Yuzuru appeared at the end of the hall. He was dressed in flannel pajama pants, an oversized sweatshirt drooping off one shoulder over a black tank, and big fuzzy socks. His hair was a mess, and the purple shadows under his eyes made it look like someone had punched him. Twice.

He stopped as soon as he saw me, his face draining of color. "Why are you here?"

"Yuzuru-san," I breathed, and made up my mind. I kicked my shoes off and stepped toward him. "We need to talk."

Terror flashed over his features and he tried to back away from me, but only thudded against the wall behind him. He turned to scowl at it, as if it had impeded his escape on purpose. My heart lit on fire inside my chest and I almost gasped at the pain of it. "Yuzuru-san..."

"I don't want to," he said frantically, shaking his head as I moved toward him. "I don't want to talk. Just go away."

"I can't," I said. "There are things I have to tell you."

"I don't want to hear it!" The ferocity of his response froze me in my tracks. The burning sensation in my chest flowed outward until I was hurting all over.

He had to let me explain. He could hate me if he wanted, but at least he had to let me explain first... Yet something about the haunted glaze of his eyes paralyzed my tongue. He was staring down at my feet like they were the only part of me he could stand to look at.

His sister chose this moment to dart between us. "Um, I'm just gonna go to my room?" Nobody replied, so she sidled toward the hall awkwardly. "Okay, then." She vanished, and somewhere out of sight I heard a door open and close.

I couldn't take my eyes from Yuzuru, who was slumped against the wall and breathing hard. "Don't say it," he said, this time in a much smaller voice. "Do you really have to say it? Can't you just leave and pretend like you did? I promise, tomorrow at school I won't bother you. I'll leave you alone, whatever you want."

Alarmed, I went to stand in front of him. I tried to catch his eyes, but he wouldn't let me. "Yuzuru-san... just what do you think I came here to say?"

He didn't answer, but he sniffled and I glimpsed something small and shimmery drop to the floor. A little wet splotch appeared on the laminate flooring by his foot. "Look at me," I commanded, my stomach doing sickening somersaults. He didn't move, so I took his face in my hands and forced it up. His eyes were red and watery, and when he blinked another hot tear hit my thumb. I felt my own chin starting to spasm in response. "Don't do that," I said. "Answer me. What is it that you don't want me to say?"

He averted his eyes, even though he couldn't turn his face away, and spilled more tears into my hands. "That we're over," he finally whispered, and his shoulders started shaking. He reached up and pushed my hands away, and I was so stunned that I let him.

"What?" And here I'd thought he was waiting to say those words to me.

"I won't be able to stand it, if you say it. So don't. Just go, please."

Never mind that I was a guest in his house. I grabbed his wrist and yanked him down the hall, shoving his bedroom door open. His room looked just as I remembered it, crisp white walls and navy rug, most everything neat and tidy except that the polka-dotted comforter was wadded up in the center of the bed, and he had a low desk in the center of the room covered with books and papers. I dragged him in after me and closed the door, panting as I turned to face him. "I'm not going anywhere," I said hoarsely. "What is this? What would ever make you think that I—"

"She came back, didn't she? Shino. You guys are back together."

"God, no. That's what I've been trying to tell you." I shoved him in the chest so that he stumbled backward and his butt landed on the bed, and I sank down next to him. "Listen to me. Shino and I are not together. We never will be again."

He shook his head heavily. "But you guys were... I saw you." He met my eyes at last. His face was so thin and tired, like he'd lost weight just in the day we'd been apart. "She's really pretty."

Yeah, she's also a psychopath. "I don't want her, Yuzuru-san. Didn't I tell you already? You mean more to me than Shino. So much more."

"But why...?" He couldn't seem to finish the question, and he didn't have to. Why did you ditch me to be with her?

"I swear I wasn't lying to you. I really did have a family emergency, and Shino just kind of— look, it's a long story. And I'm going to tell you everything, but not here. Not like this. Let me take you to dinner."

"Dinner?" he repeated slowly. He may have been slow to grasp the concept, but there was an answering gurgle from his stomach that told me his body sure knew what it meant.

"Yes. Or a late lunch, or whatever. When's the last time you ate?"

"Ate?"

"Yes. You know, food? Sustenance? The ingesting of calories for the purpose of survival?"

He frowned. "I don't remember."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." I should never have let him dodge my texts for so long. Thank god for Koike and her bull-by-the-horns approach. I ran a hand through his hair, trying to smooth some of the craziest chunks. "Get dressed and we'll go out. I'll buy you whatever you want."

He sucked in a breath, which I thought was because I'd snagged a tangle, but then he caught my hand and held it to his face. "Seryou... you're really not breaking up with me?"

There were a hundred cutesy, flirty things I could have said to that, but the way he had my fingers pressed to his cheek and the hope in his eyes pushed them all back. "Not unless you tell me you don't want this anymore."

"I want it," he said right away.

I searched his face. "Yeah?"

"Mm." He bobbed his head, and I couldn't help smiling. He was so unbelievably cute.

"Then get dressed, because we're going on a date. Right now."

He sprang up and went for his closet, whipping his sweatshirt over his head. The momentary jolt I felt at watching his tank top ride up, exposing his belly button and a hint of his hipbones, was swiftly quelled as he caught a whiff of the sweatshirt and wrinkled his nose. "Um. Can I shower first?"

I chuckled. "Go ahead, I'll wait."

He started grabbing things out of his closet, slinging them over his arm. The black tank top was giving me an incredible view of the muscles rippling across his shoulders and back, and my mouth went dry with awe. He drew a bow with such power, so of course he'd have the physique to match, but our archery uniforms had always kept all that hidden. He went for the bedroom door, then popped his head back in, eyes wide and earnest. "Don't leave, okay?"

If you don't leave I think I'm going to have to join you in that shower, I almost blurted out, but bit my tongue and nodded. "I won't." I heard his footsteps down the hall, and then the bang of another door, which I assumed was the bathroom. After a minute, the sound of pipes creaking let me know that he'd started up the water.

I looked around his room, a tornado of emotion ravaging through me. He wasn't dumping me, which was a huge relief. But that didn't mean he might not change his mind, especially once he heard what I had to tell him. I had promised to tell him everything, hadn't I? And I would, because I was not letting Shino put either of us through this ever again. I could only pray that he would be able to accept it, accept me, in spite of the things I'd done.

His door creaked open a little, and his sister stuck her head in. "Um, everything okay in here?"

"You can come in," I said. "Yuzuru just went to shower before we go grab something to eat."

"Ah." She entered somewhat timidly. "So you guys have made up, or whatever? That's good. Does that mean you'll come visit again sometimes?"

"Mm... maybe." I hope so. It really depended on how the afternoon went.

"I didn't, um... I don't know your name, Senpai."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm Seryou Touji."

She bowed. "And I'm Yuriko. Shino Yuriko, but you can call me Yuri-chan if you want."

"It's nice to meet you, Yuri-chan."

Her cheeks went pink and she scuffed a socked foot into Yuzuru's navy rug. "Um, do you have a girlfriend, Touji-san?"

The door opened wider behind her and Yuzuru came in, rubbing a yellow towel over his hair. He'd put on jeans and a white t-shirt, which was clinging to the dampness of his body. "What're you doing in my room, squirt? Out."

"Touji-san said it was okay," she pouted, and he lowered the towel to look at me.

"Did he, now?" What was with that strange expression? He grabbed Yuriko's shoulders, spinning her around and pushing her toward the door. "Well, it's my room, not his. Out, I said." He pushed her into the hall, though it looked to me like he was actually being pretty gentle about it, and when she spun around to protest he swung the door shut in her face.

He turned back to me, scrubbing the towel through his hair once more. "And you. I leave the room for ten minutes and you're hitting on my sister?"

"What? No! She just asked my name."

"And whether you have a girlfriend." He draped the towel around his neck and went to the closet, pulling out a thermal henley and denim jacket.

"Come on, you're jealous of your kid sister?"

He tugged the shirt on, his wet, wavy hair popping out of the top first, and grinned as he settled it down around his hips. "Shouldn't I be? You said she was cute, last time."

"Only because she looks like you," I retorted.

His head came up and I was abruptly drowning in those huge eyes, like pools of sun-kissed chocolate. I could have smirked or wiggled an eyebrow to make my little outburst seem planned. But he looked so adorably uncertain, like he was trying to figure out if I'd meant to pay him a compliment. I found myself smiling shyly instead. "You ready to go?"

I stood and started for the door, but he caught the sleeve of my coat and pulled me back. "Hang on. It's supposed to snow tonight and you're still in your uniform. You're going to freeze like that. Come here."

He scanned his closet and pulled a thick gray sweater off of a hanger. "This'll work. Take your coat off. Jacket and tie too."

I obeyed, but evidently not fast enough because once I shed the outer layers and started on my tie, he sighed and pulled me closer. "Oh here, I'll do it."

I dropped my hands and let him tug the tie loose, enjoying the way his tongue peeked out of the corner of his mouth when he was concentrating. He got one end free and pulled it toward him. I watched his face and let my heart hammer away as hard as it wanted. How did he manage to do this to me with the most random of gestures? It's not like he was trying to be sexy about it, but he was sliding the tie from around my neck and it was tugging me into him, and my runaway imagination was coming up with all sorts of creative suggestions for what he could do next with that strip of fabric.

He met my eyes just as the tie came off, and I looked away before my face could broadcast the fantasies in my head. I had the extreme misfortune of being one of those people who can't prevent strong emotions from showing up in their expression, usually at the most embarrassing moments possible.

I grabbed the sweater from the end of the bed and pulled it over my head, struggling with it a couple seconds longer than necessary so I could compose my thoughts—and face—in relative privacy. He helped me pull it down and straightened my shirt collar while I swept my bangs out of my eyes. The sweater was pretty loose on me, but definitely warmer than my uniform jacket. Even better, it smelled like him.

"Thanks," I said, rolling up my tie and stuffing it in the pocket of my uniform. I then rolled up the jacket and stuck it into my book bag, picked up my coat, and held my arms out for inspection. "Good now?"

"Good," he agreed, and we headed for the front door.

"I'm going out for a while, squirt," he called as we were getting our shoes on.

Yuriko came padding down the hall as he opened the door. "Okay, Yuzu-nii."

"Mom should be home from Dad's place soon, but I'll have my phone if you need me."

Yuriko stuck her tongue out at him. "I'm not a child, big brother. I'll be perfectly fine by myself."

"If I didn't think so I wouldn't leave," he replied flatly.

She rolled her eyes, looking past him to wave at me. "Bye, Touji-san. Come back again soon, okay?"

I had just enough time to wave back before Yuzuru was pulling me out the door.