WEEK ONE: Sunday (Yuzuru)

I kept stealing glances at Seryou as we walked down the sidewalk. It was hard not to, for many reasons. For one, he looked amazing wearing my sweater. Like a goddamn runway model. There was something about it I couldn't get enough of... as if putting him in my clothes had given me a visible claim to him, or something. Right now that felt super important, because less than an hour ago I'd been certain I'd lost him forever.

That was the bigger reason I had to keep looking—to reassure myself he was really there. After seeing him and Shino together the other night, I was sure he'd chosen her. Today when he showed up at my house, it seemed clear that he'd gotten tired of waiting for me to come out of hiding, and had come to cut things off in person. The fact that he was walking next to me right now felt surreal... fragile, like at any moment I was going to turn and discover he'd dissolved into steam in the winter air.

I still wasn't sure why he was here. It was pretty obvious that Shino wanted to be with him. She'd gone out of her way that night to make sure I knew he belonged to her. And since they were living together, and probably had some arranged-marriage thing going on, eventually I was going to lose him to her anyway, wasn't I? I mean, we were still just high school students. He was only a first year. There was plenty of time for him to be messing around in his dating life before he had to walk the aisle with Shino.

And she'd hurt him deeply, that much I knew. Now that I was thinking about it, dating me was probably the perfect revenge. Nothing said fuck you to a cheating ex-lover like going gay for a while, yeah? But it seemed pretty doubtful that he was gay, he'd dated like a hundred girls already. I remembered how Koike had asked me if I was gay. I still didn't really think so... not because I was sure that I liked girls, but because I didn't particularly like guys. I didn't get hot and bothered over the idea of guys. Only Seryou. He was the only one who did that to me, who made me feel these intense things inside until all I wanted to do was put my arms around him and hold on forever.

I don't know if maybe he sensed my insecurity, but I felt his hand slip into mine as we walked, his cold fingers snaking between my own. Geez, his hand was like ice. It was overcast and breezy out, maybe around four degrees Celsius, and with hands that cold I was surprised his teeth weren't chattering. Maybe he wasn't going to be with me forever, but he was here right now and I was going to take care of him. I tucked both our hands into my coat pocket without comment.

He looked over at me for a second, and then I felt his fingers squeezing mine gently. Thanks. I squeezed back. It did feel better, holding onto his hand. Safer. What would happen if I just never let go?

"What do you want to eat?" he asked me. The tips of his nose and ears were turning pink from the cold.

"Mm..." I thought about it. "Meat."

He chuckled. "Okay, what kind?"

"Any kind." My stomach growled. "All the kinds. I'm starving." Now that he wasn't breaking up with me yet, my appetite had roared back to life... and boy was it pissed at having been tranquilized for so long.

"All the kinds, huh?" He grinned. "I know just the place. Let's go to Chinatown."

I nodded. We were climbing the concrete steps to the footbridge, and an older lady with silver hair and layers of shawls was wheeling a small cart of groceries toward us. Her lips pursed with distaste when she saw how Seryou's wrist disappeared into my coat pocket. I felt his hand twitch in mine, like he was about to pull it back, and gripped tighter. I bowed at our critic with a polite smile.

"Good afternoon, Grandmother. Cold out, isn't it? Please get home safely."

She harrumphed a little, but passed us by without reply. I held on to Seryou's hand in my pocket and we crossed the bridge. Maybe I was imagining it, but it seemed like he was walking a little closer to me. We reached the station and I still wouldn't let go of him, even though it meant riding the escalator side by side. It was polite to stand to one side of the moving stairs, so that people in a hurry could pass you if they wanted. But it was Sunday afternoon, no one was rushing around, and I determinedly stood my ground, blocking off the full step, until we got to the bottom.

I could feel his eyes on me as we waited for the train, but I didn't feel like explaining myself. I needed this connection to him right now. I needed to feel like he was going to stay, even if it was an illusion. He'd said he would tell me what happened over dinner, but anything he had to say was fine with me so long as it didn't end with breaking up yet. The only thing I wanted was to be able to keep him.

The train car was a little warmer from the breathing and body heat of all the people. We weren't in uniform, so I led us to a couple of seats at the back, nudging him into the one by the window. As soon as we sat down, I tipped my head against his shoulder.

I hadn't meant to fall asleep, but next thing I knew Seryou was squeezing my hand. "Yuzuru-san? We're at our stop."

I had no choice but to release him so we could wriggle out of the seats and get off the train. But once we were in the station, I moved to his other side and snatched up that hand instead. While the first one had thawed considerably since I'd been holding onto it, this one was freezing. I promptly stuck it in my pocket on that side. Then it occurred to me that maybe I was being a little too overbearing. "This is okay, right?"

His lips parted, his breath crystallizing the air between us. "It's nice. You're... warm."

Good enough for me.

He took the lead, and we walked about five minutes into Chinatown. The sights and sounds of Yokohama's Chinatown were really something. Brilliant blues and reds and greens everywhere. Traditional paper lanterns strung between modern neon signs. The shivering melodies of Chinese lutes blending with European and Japanese pop music that drifted into the street from open storefronts. And holy hell, so many mouthwatering smells that I was starting to get dizzy with hunger.

Seryou took us to this little corridor intersecting the block, with a façade overhead proclaiming "China Square" in glowing blue English letters. We entered a tall building at the end and took an elevator that opened into a sleek, granite-tiled lobby. There was a green frosted-glass wall directing us to a set of clear glass doors, and a brass sign above that said "Travesso Grill." It looked fancy.

"Have you ever been to a Brazilian barbeque?" Seryou asked, and I shook my head. "Well, you asked for all the meats, and you're going to get them. Come on."

I had to let go of his hand again when the waiter took our coats. We were led to a small, red-laquered table, where he explained how the restaurant worked. Apparently, you just sat there while servers with platters of meat came by, and you could choose anything you wanted. Chicken, pork, lamb, fish, and every cut of beef in existence. On top of that, there was a huge salad and side dish bar at one end of the restaurant, and that was all-you-could-eat, too.

I piled my plate with steak and sausage, and literally everything I put in my mouth was magnificent. I took something from every platter that came by, encouraging Seryou to taste it all too so we could decide on our favorites. In the end, my very favorite thing wasn't even a meat, it was the skewer of grilled pineapple they kept bringing around that was sweet and smoky and burst in my mouth like chunks of tropical sunshine.

"You gonna eat that?" I asked, eyeballing the slice of pineapple on Seryou's plate. I think he got full way before I did, because he wasn't taking things off the platters anymore. He shook his head and scooted his plate toward me. "Yeah!" I stabbed the fruit off his plate.

"I take it you like this place?" he asked, his dark eyes twinkling.

"This is what heaven must be like," I mumbled around a mouthful of juicy fruit. I sifted through my plate with my fork until I found a nice piece of pork to cram in my other cheek. My eyes closed in bliss as I chewed. The food was good, but everything tasted better when Seryou was next to me.

I was finally starting to feel the pleasant glow of a satisfied belly. But I did snag one last bit of steak from the next guy who passed by. I popped it in my mouth and realized Seryou was watching me, his chin resting in one hand.

"Feel better?" he asked as I swallowed.

I nodded and took a gulp of water. "Much. How did you find this place?"

"My parents took us here last year for my older brother's birthday. When you said you wanted meat, it was the first thing I thought of."

"It's amazing. Wish I could eat like this every day." Then something he said registered a little stronger, and I cocked my head at him. "Hey, you have a brother?"

"Yeah, Natsuki. He's six years older than me."

"I see." There was still so much I didn't know about him. "Any other siblings?"

"No, it's just the two of us."

"Ah." I set my fork down, and dared to ask one of the questions that had been plaguing me since yesterday. "How come you didn't tell me that your family owns Happy World Coffee?"

He flinched. "You heard?"

"It's more like everybody at school knew except me. You're not just a rich kid, you're like... a really, really, really rich kid."

Seryou kept his attention on the tabletop, looking uncomfortable.

"Are you mad that I found out?" I asked.

"No," he said quickly. "I just didn't want it to... I don't know, freak you out." He squinted at me sideways through his bangs. "Does it?"

"Kinda, yeah."

"I'm sorry."

I snorted. "You apologize for the weirdest stuff, you know that? How is it your fault that your family has money?"

He didn't have an answer for that. I sighed and scruffed a hand through my hair, then decided to go ahead and ask the question that had been torturing me most. I wasn't sure I really wanted the answer, but I needed to know so I could prepare myself properly. "Are you and Shino getting married?"

His mouth dropped open. "What?!"

"You guys live together, don't you? I figured it's because your folks want you to marry her." Saying it out loud made me nauseous. Or maybe that was all the meat I'd just stuffed into my stomach.

"Oh my god, Yuzuru-san, no." He lunged across the table and grabbed my hand, shaking his head. "No, no, no, no, no. She's over at our house all the time, but she doesn't live with us. She has her own place. And my parents can't stand her."

"Oh." I looked down at our joined hands, where his knuckles had gone almost white over mine. I guess his emphatic denial was a relief, but it still didn't explain much. "Why is she at your house all the time, then?"

"Shino is—" He chewed his lower lip like he was preparing himself for something unpleasant. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Shino is my brother's girlfriend."

It took me a second to repeat those words in my head, because they made no sense. "I thought she was your ex?"

"She's that, too."

"Oh," I said, trying to make it sound like I'd gotten it, but I was still hella confused. If he had dated Shino before, then how could she be his brother's—

I suddenly recalled that time I'd overheard him on the phone with her. You're the one who cheated first, Shino. My eyes widened. "Ohh."

Shit. What she'd done to him—it was so much worse than I'd thought. Shit! No wonder he was so hung up on it. I got quiet, trying to absorb this. What did you even say to something like that? I'm sorry didn't even begin to cut it.

I pulled my hand away from his, because it didn't seem right for him to be trying to reassure me when he was the one who'd been so horribly screwed over. Then I felt bad, because his hand sort of clenched up where mine had been and his face got sadder. I think he took it as a sign I was upset. I was trying to decide if I should put my hand back when he spoke up again, softly.

"Shino and I dated for a week, about a year ago. She was three years older than me, and seemed so beautiful and sophisticated. I really liked her. But then she met my brother."

"And dumped you for him," I concluded, a hard edge entering my voice.

"Yeah."

I hadn't thought it was possible to hate her more, but I was wrong. "And then your brother went ahead and dated her? Even though she was your ex?" Seryou nodded. I was pretty sure I hated his brother too. "Wow, what an asshole."

"I'm worse," he said, even more quietly. There was pain in his face now. Pain, and... shame.

"Huh?"

"Shino and Natsuki have had a stormy relationship since the day they met. The first time they broke up—" He closed his eyes, but I couldn't tell whether the memory hurt or he was just trying to find the right words for it. "Shino came to me."

He knotted his fingers on the table in front of him while I tried to make sense of that. It didn't sound like a big deal, except that the way he'd said it was so heavy I got the feeling it meant more. Damn it, I was not good at reading between the lines. "Came to you?" I repeated.

He nodded, fidgeted with his fingers some more, and kept his head down. "I slept with her."

A flash of... something... went through me, like I'd touched a live wire. "Oh," I said again.

My nerves were suddenly jittering. My legs started bouncing uncontrollably, and I didn't know why, exactly. Was I shocked? Jealous?

He'd had sex with her. Was it really that surprising? He'd dated so many girls. Wasn't there a part of me that knew he had to have slept with at least a few? And Shino was the one he loved. Probably his first. The hold she had on him was deeper and stronger than I had ever imagined, and I guess that was what was really affecting me. I'd never, ever be able to be something like that for him, and knowing that was driving me crazy.

But, Seryou was also only a first year high school student. Sex was a fantasy for most of us at that age, especially sex with a gorgeous older girl. Any guy I knew who'd gotten that lucky would be bragging it from the rooftops. Yet Seryou looked utterly humiliated to be talking about it. I could see his nails digging into the backs of his hands, like he wanted to claw his own skin off just thinking about it. His pretty features were drawn so tightly and painfully that it made my heart ache.

"You don't have to tell me this," I said gently. "It's okay." When he'd said he was going to explain, I'd had no idea how much it would cost him. He shouldn't be hurting himself like this on my account.

He looked up, so disastrously beautiful I felt my eyes smarting. "You deserve to know everything. I don't want to keep secrets from you."

He had the face of someone who'd just confessed to a heinous crime. Someone who thought of himself as a monster. I felt a hot rush of protectiveness, all of a sudden. Had his brother made him feel like that? His brother had been the one to wrong him first. And Shino, they'd both screwed him over. Why should he be the one to feel guilty?

"Well, you were with her first, and your brother basically stole her. And anyway, they were broken up."

"You don't have to do that." He gave me a tiny smile. "You don't have to make excuses for me, Yuzuru-san. What I did was wrong. And... it wasn't just the one time."

That made me sit back a little, and he noticed. His smile twisted sadly. "They always got back together eventually. Every time, I swore to myself I wouldn't let it happen again. But then she'd show up crying, and it was the only way I had to comfort her. I couldn't stop. Even when it meant betraying my brother."

"But..." I was reeling from the idea of him and Shino together like that, not just once but repeatedly. I really didn't like how he was painting himself as the villain in all this. "You're in love with her." If Shino kept bouncing back and forth between him and his brother, using his feelings for her to make herself feel better and then tossing him away, she was the real monster here. No, she was a devil, because he loved her and she hadn't just crushed him—she kept coming back to do it again and again.

"I used to think I was, but that's only because I had never been in love before."

He fixed me with a purposeful look that I guessed meant I was supposed to glean something important from that statement. I had no idea what he was talking about, so I had no choice but to wait for him to elaborate.

After a moment his lips twitched and he leaned forward, holding my eyes intently. "After I met you, I realized just how shallow my feelings for Shino have always been. Because what I feel for you is so much more."

I stopped breathing.

He'd just finished telling me he'd been sleeping with his ex, who was also his brother's girlfriend and his first love. If that was true, it meant he'd continued sleeping with her even while he was dating a new person every week. Shino had hurt him so much he couldn't even use my surname because it reminded him of her. The first time I'd gone over to his house, he'd blown a gasket when she tried to touch me. Not two nights ago, he'd been hugging her at his family's coffee shop instead of going on a date with me. So I couldn't believe him. I didn't dare.

No matter how bad I wanted it to be the truth.

"You were hugging her," I said, every word laced with distrust.

"That was a mistake. That whole night was just so..." He rubbed his forehead. "Okay, how do I explain this? My brother Natsuki graduated university last semester."

I didn't see what that had to do with anything.

"Our grandfather is Takeuchi Yuki, the founder of Happy World Coffee."

Yes, we've established that your family is loaded.

"After Natsuki graduated, Grandfather made him regional manager over all seventeen Happy World coffeehouses in Yokohama. It sounds impressive, but in reality he spends a lot of time filling in as a barista or server or cook or staff trainer whenever there's a coverage problem. Grandfather says it's good for him because he has to know every job that every one of our employees does."

Still didn't see where he was going with this.

"The family emergency on Friday was because all of the staff at the Sakuragichou location called out sick at once. There was no way he could handle our busiest location, on the busiest night of the week, by himself. So I had to go help him."

"Okay," I said slowly.

"But the reason everyone had called out was because of Shino. I don't know how she did it, I just know she was mad at me and Natsuki and was trying to punish us."

"For what?"

"Well, with Natsuki it was the same stuff she's always mad at him for. But with me, it was because of you."

"Me?" I said incredulously. "What did I ever do to her?"

"She knows how I feel about you. She figured it out the minute she saw us together last week. I was so afraid she was going to say something and scare you away." He pressed his lips together, like he did when he got embarrassed.

"You didn't want her touching me," I reminded him sullenly.

He seemed a bit surprised that I knew, but didn't deny it. "Of course not."

Of course not, my brain echoed mockingly. Just like I hated thinking of her perfect manicured fingernails caressing his face, those cruel bright lips meeting his, that elegant, slender body fitting into his arms as naturally as I already knew it did, because I'd seen it for myself. The very idea of it made me itchy and angry, and I wanted to yell. My legs started bouncing again.

He tilted his head to the side, and sudden understanding came to his eyes. "Hang on, you thought that was because of my feelings for her?"

I didn't answer, but felt my eyebrows scrunching together.

"Yuzuru-san, I was doing that because of how I felt about you. Because you were... I was already..." He puffed out a breath and looked around, rubbing the back of his neck. "I liked you so much. I didn't want someone like her laying hands on you."

That was... not what I had expected to hear. Even as I felt my temper subsiding, I tried desperately to snuff out the rebellious spark of hope that had flared at his words. He didn't mean it. He couldn't possibly.

"Shino was furious because I told her I wasn't going to take her calls anymore. That I'd found someone who meant more to me than she did. And then on Monday when she and my brother got into another fight, she came into my room and I—"

Shit shit shit I don't want to know. My eyes squeezed shut and I hissed a little. Seryou's cool, soft hand closed over my fist on the table.

"I kicked her out."

I opened one eye, cautiously.

"It pissed her off. And when Shino is pissed, bad things happen. She's the kind who likes to make trouble just because she can. She caused the problem at the coffeehouse, then showed up drunk to observe the results of her handiwork. Even then, she managed to make me sorry for her for a split second, and used that to hurt you."

That's what the hugging was about?

He tightened his grip on my hand. "That's why you have to know all of this, Yuzuru-san. If you stay with me," his voice caught, and I was suddenly wondering if he doubted that I would, "you're going to run into her again. She'll make sure of it. I don't know what she'll say to you or what she'll do, but I need you to know that you're the only one I care about. I need you to be able to trust that, no matter what."

Fuck. That little spark of hope went zinging right out of my grasp, scorching a path of white-hot longing through my chest. "Seryou..." My heart was beating so fast that I could feel it vibrating in my fingertips. I pushed my plate back and stood up. "I'm done. Let's go."

His eyes widened as I grabbed his wrist. "O—Okay. Okay, but wait... wait, let me get my wallet."

I bounced on my toes as he tore into his bag, found his wallet, and tossed some bills on the table. I couldn't wait for him to stick the wallet back in his bag. I took his arm again and started dragging him toward the door. He stammered a thank you and good night to the restaurant host, but I charged right past them to the elevator and punched the down button. It opened with a pinging noise and I ushered both of us inside, jamming the button for the first floor.

The doors slid closed and I stood there panting, still holding on to him. I needed to get out of there, because... because... I don't know. I couldn't be there with him in front of people. Not after everything he'd just said.

"Yuzuru-san?"

"Shut up." You can't talk to me right now or I'm gonna lose it. The sound of his voice was echoing in my chest cavity, burning me up with emotions that were too much to take. This guy, this rich, gorgeous, popular guy with his entourage of fangirls and massive corporate empire and perfect hair, had just spilled his most embarrassing secrets in order to prove he wanted me. I didn't understand why. But I couldn't handle it anymore. I had to... I needed...

The elevator door opened and I yanked him outside, looking up and down the corridor for someplace we could go. Someplace safe, and... out of the way, and... and...

There. I spotted an opening between the shops ahead, a gap between the close-set buildings that looked private. I beelined for it, pulling him behind me. It was a narrow alley, with some crates stacked next to a dumpster a short distance from the opening. Here the glaring lights of the square couldn't reach more than a meter or so inside, so when I'd plunged us both far in enough we were sheltered by shadows.

I flung him in front of me, so that his back hit the brick wall. He was breathing heavily, staring at me like I'd lost my mind.

"What are you—"

I slammed into him and crushed my mouth to his.

He gasped and his arms came up to steady me, because I was completely off balance and we both probably would have gone toppling over otherwise. I was gripping him by the hip and behind his neck, and once my footing stabilized my weight mashed him against the wall. I'd never kissed anyone like this before, so hard and frantic, but after everything my head and heart had undergone these past couple weeks I couldn't control myself. His lips were warm and yielding, deliciously soft. I drew the bottom one into my mouth, stroked it with my tongue possessively.

His hands moved to my chest, and I guess my instinct said he was going to push me away because I grabbed his wrists and pinned them to the wall on either side of his head. I'd back off in a second, really I would. Just not yet.

Instead of struggling, though, he moaned into my mouth. It was a low, pleading sound. Crap, was I hurting him? But the next second he was kissing me back. His mouth opened to me, letting my tongue inside, and he met it with his. It was the sweetest, hottest, most spine-tingling sensation, and I had to have more. He let me do whatever I wanted, shifting from one angle to another in order to claim his mouth completely. I learned all the surfaces and textures, the velvet of his tongue and satin of his lips, the slick tips of his teeth as they grazed me.

He could have anyone he wanted, and everyone wanted him. Shino, Koike, Akaike, Tajiri, my own freaking sister... Not to mention the four hundred or so girls at Houka conspiring to pounce on him every Monday. But they couldn't have him. No matter how absurd our relationship was, I didn't care anymore. If he said I was what he wanted, I was going to hold him to it and no one—no one—would take him from me.

I broke from his lips and started kissing his jaw, his neck. His skin was creamy smooth and cold, but only on the surface. An instant of contact with my lips and it heated up, from the inside out, like his pulse was straining to touch me in return. I wrenched the collar of his shirt aside so I could follow that powerful heartbeat lower, to a soft spot right where his neck and collarbone met. There I could feel it thundering against my tongue, and I latched onto it hungrily.

"Oh god, Yuzuru-san," he rasped in my ear, and went slack against the wall. I felt his hands in my hair—I wasn't sure when I'd let go of his arms, but it didn't matter. I raised my head to look at him.

"You're mine now, right?"

His black eyes were fixed on me like glittering chips of diamond. "Yes," he breathed, the word caressing my face in a cloud of mist. "God, yes."

I kissed him again, dipping into his mouth just long enough to remind it of its new owner. Then I backed away with his lower lip between my teeth, and released it only once I had to. "Good."

He made a faint whimpering noise.

I rolled away, until my back was pressed to the wall alongside him, and closed my eyes to catch my breath. I could hear him panting next to me, and after a second we looked over at each other. I laughed, wheezing, and so did he. We stayed like that for a few minutes, until something white and feathery drifted into his hair and I looked up. It was starting to snow.

"Sky Garden?" I asked hopefully.

He took my hand and gave me a smile that melted my insides. "Anything you want."