WEEK ONE: Saturday (Yuzuru)

"Yuzu-nii! Don't you have to go to school for festival stuff today?" Yuriko stood in the door of my room, her fists punched into her hips like a miniature version of Mom.

I moaned and pulled the covers up over my head. "I'm not going. I don't feel good."

"You sick?" She came bounding over to the bed, yanking the comforter down. I tried to keep my face turned away, but she still grunted in disgust. "Ew, you didn't even wash the gel out of your hair. I bet you didn't wash your face either. You wanna get pimples?"

"Leave me alone, Yuriko." My mouth tasted like sour milk and my head was pounding. My legs hurt from all the running I'd done last night. I must have run halfway across Yokohama and back, trying to escape the mental image of Seryou holding that girl in his arms... Shit, I had to stop thinking about it. I threw an arm over my face, both to block out the light and because I didn't want my thirteen year old sister to see me crying like a fucking preschooler.

"What's wrong? If you're really sick I can have Mom call the doctor—"

"No." The last thing Mom needed was an expensive medical bill. No medicine on earth could help with this, anyway.

"Then get up. You stink. You need to take a shower and get to school. You have cram school exams this afternoon, remember?" She stood up and went to the door. "Don't forget to brush your teeth," she called as she slammed it closed behind her.

I sat up in bed, feeling like I'd been run over by a bullet train. The last thing I wanted was to go to school, where more than likely I'd have to face Seryou at some point. He was sure to be there, he had class dance rehearsal and festival set-up just like I did. I didn't want to see him. I couldn't.

But I also couldn't stay here, not with Yuriko hovering around. I stumbled out of bed and into the bathroom. I took a look at myself in the mirror before getting into the shower, eyes red-rimmed and sunken, face streaked with dirt and old sweat. I looked kind of like a freaky scarecrow from an American slasher movie.

Why did I have to go to Sakuragichou last night? It was such a dumb thing to do. When I'd gotten Seryou's message canceling our date, I should have gone home and done my homework. Instead, I ended up hopping the train to where we had planned to go together. Not sure what made me do it, I only knew that I wanted to stand someplace where I could see the Landmark Tower—Sky Garden was at the top—and think about him. I was walking to the intersection where the tower would be visible from the street, and happened to spot him through the window of a Happy World Coffee Café. He was wearing a bright yellow shirt that looked incredible with his black hair and pale skin. I'd never seen him wearing so much color before. My favorite color, at that, though I don't think I'd ever told him so.

At first I was just confused, but then I saw her standing with him and it all fell into place. Shino. He was on a date with Shino.

She saw me, too. She looked right at me and then said something to him, and he held his arms out so she could step into them. I should have walked away then. Maybe, if I'd walked away, I could have pretended I hadn't seen anything. I could have pretended today that nothing had changed. But I'd never been that smart. I'd gone charging in there for what? To yell at him? To make sure he knew that I knew?

I was so stupid.

I got into the shower and stood under the scalding spray, letting it punish my back until my skin went numb. Crying didn't count if it was in the shower, right? Because your face was wet already.

Seryou had lied to me. I couldn't get past how much that hurt. It wasn't just that he was with Shino again—I could almost forgive him that, I knew how much she meant to him. But he could have at least been man enough to tell me the truth. To say 'hey, my ex wants to make up so I don't think I can date you after all.' He could have said something, but instead he came to see me between every class period and gave me his lunch and made plans to go to Sky Garden with me and made me think that maybe he actually felt some of the same things I did. All the while he was waiting for her to come back, and the second she did he skipped out on me to be with her. Family emergency, my ass.

What a bastard.

I pounded my fist into the cold tile of the shower, which did nothing to make me feel better.

I had no choice but to turn my phone back on when I left the house, because if my mom or Yuriko needed me I'd have to be accessible. As soon as it powered up, it started pinging. Message after message popped up on the screen, all from Seryou.

Can I call you?

Are you up yet? It's almost seven, you'll be late.

I'm at the station.

Are you okay?? I'm worried.

Yuzuru-san...

Please answer me.

We need to talk.

Four missed calls, too. And a blinking icon that meant I had a voice message. I slid that one to the side and hit the delete button. Then I deleted the entire thread of text messages. I'd be damned if I was going to let him break up with me that way.

Eventually I ended up at Houka only because I had nowhere else to go. I was late to homeroom, and my classmates gave me some crap about it, but I guess they realized I was in a shitty mood because they left me alone pretty quick. Well, everyone except Koike, who pounced on me as soon as the others were preoccupied. Today we were dragging desks around and transforming them into different beauty stations for the salon theme.

"How did it go with Seryou last night?" she asked, tossing me one end of a plastic purple tablecloth.

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Uh-oh." She shook her end of the sheet, indicating I should do the same to get it open. "Don't tell me he's dumped you already. It's not even Sunday yet."

My stomach churned and I threw the tablecloth down. "Shut up, Koike-chan. Just shut up!" I stormed out into the hall, and then because there wasn't really anywhere I could run off to, I stomped out to the balcony and hung my arms over the rail, feeling the icy air sting my cheeks. This sucked. I missed Seryou. I shouldn't miss him, after he'd stabbed me in the back and all, but I couldn't help it. My head hurt and my chest hurt and I wanted to hit something.

"Hey," said Koike over my shoulder. When I didn't turn around, she moved next to me and leaned her elbows on the rail too. Utsumi appeared silently at my other side, pushing his glasses a little higher on his nose. Great, now they were both out here trying to talk me out of my misery.

"Hey, Shino, I'm sorry," Koike said. " I didn't mean to—"

"Don't call me that anymore."

"Huh?"

"Shino. I don't want to hear that name ever again." Ever, ever again.

Koike sighed. "I don't know what happened yesterday, but I shouldn't have teased you about it. I'm sorry." She paused for a second, and seemed to be trading looks with Utsumi over my head.

He cleared his throat. "Hey man, Koike told me about what you and Seryou have going on. I can't say that I get it, but... well, are you okay?"

"No," I replied, and tried to keep my chin from trembling. "And I said I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay. You don't have to. We just..." He reached out and patted my shoulder, a little stiffly. "We're your friends, okay? No matter what."

"We'll be whatever you need us to be right now," Koike added.

I closed my eyes, feeling more tears fall. "You guys, I..." I couldn't finish because I didn't even know what I was trying to say. These two were my only friends in the world, but right now it seemed like more than enough. You didn't need a gajillion friends as long as the ones you had were good.

Koike slapped me on the back, suddenly. "Let's get out of here," she said with far too much cheeriness. "The classroom prep's just about done, anyway. I bet the food stand in the gym could use some help, right, Utsumi? Besides, it's freezing outside."

I let them pull me back indoors and down the stairs. We took the long way to the gym, walking the entire length of Class Four's building and through the enclosed corridors that led through Buildings Three and Two. I noted that we circumvented the hall that housed Seryou's homeroom, and for that I was grateful. Utsumi started asking about the manga he'd lent me a couple weeks ago, had I finished it yet, where did I think the story was going, did I have any theories on who the bad guy was... I knew he was trying to distract me, but it actually did help a little. Not the conversation, really, but the effort behind it.

We made it to the gym, which was being set up into aisles lined with food vendors. Most of the booths were run by third-year students, and would involve cooking and selling a variety of snacks to festival visitors. The whole place was full of noise and activity as extension cords were run, grills and cotton candy machines were wheeled in, pavilions were set up and weighted down and tied into place... and everywhere people were laughing and chattering excitedly about the week's upcoming attractions.

"Come on," Koike said. "There's our class's takoyaki booth. Let's go see if Akaike needs our help."

We went over there and Akaike put us to work stringing the overhead banner, setting up the three electric takoyaki presses and mini fridge, filling a bunch of plastic drawers with bowls and mixers and measuring cups and the like. We had to make several runs out to the courtyard, where Akaike's father had brought most of the supplies in the back of his car. I hauled load after load inside, and the physical work was good for taking my mind off things.

"Okay, guys, it's almost ten," Akaike announced after my third or fourth trip back in. "Let's give it a rest and head to the assembly hall for dance rehearsal. We can come back here and finish up after."

I dusted my hands off on my pants, which usually would have earned me a disapproving smack from Koike, but instead she just handed me a wet wipe. Then she changed her mind and started rubbing down my palms herself as if I was a child. I would have argued with her, but it was weirdly comforting that she was trying so hard to be nice.

We were on our way out of the gym when I suddenly froze, staring up at the banner draped across one entire corner of the room. Happy World Coffee Maid Service. Just like that, I felt sick to my stomach again.

"What is it?" Koike asked, and followed my gaze to the sign. "Oh, damn. I forgot Seryou's family was hosting the maid café." She grabbed my arm. "Forget about it. Let's just go."

"Wait, what?" I turned to her sharply. "What do you mean, Seryou's family?"

She traded looks with Utsumi again. "Isn't that why you were staring at it?"

"What are you talking about?"

Utsumi wrinkled his forehead. "Don't tell us you didn't know."

"Know what?" I demanded in frustration. "What does his family have to do with anything?"

"Shino," Koike said in a tone that meant her patience with me was wearing thin, "Seryou's family owns Happy World Coffee. How can you be dating the guy and not know that? Everyone knows. He's like, one of the richest kids in school."

She might as well have hit me over the head with one of the metal folding chairs I'd been lugging around all morning. I knew his family was rich. I'd been to his house once and it was like a freaking palace, with servants and chandeliers and everything. But Happy World Coffee? You could barely walk down any street in Yokohama without running into one. There were a bunch in Kyoto, Osaka and Tokyo too. It was basically the most famous coffeehouse chain in the country... and Seryou Touji owned it?

My ears started ringing a little.

"Whoa, dude, you okay?" Utsumi caught me by the arm as I stumbled a few steps back.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm just dizzy all of a sudden. Is it hot in here?"

Koike whipped a chair from one of the café tables and swept it behind me, pushing it into the back of my knees until I sat. "You don't look good. Your face is all white." She knelt beside me and pressed a hand to my forehead. "Seriously, Shino, what's up with you? I've never seen you like this."

"Yuzuru-san?"

The sound of Seryou's voice brought me to my feet faster than a gunshot. He was standing by the gym door, carrying a stack of folded fabric which he promptly dropped to the floor as he ran toward me. "Yuzuru-san, thank god, I was so worried..."

I was starting to get tunnel vision when I heard Koike snap, "Back off, Seryou."

Whoa. Before I could really process what she was doing, she'd marched over to him and blocked his path with crossed arms, glaring up into his face. I thought she only ever looked at me like that.

"What did you do to him?" she demanded.

Seryou blinked down at her, then looked over at me, his pretty features contracting in confusion. "Eh?"

"I don't know what you're up to, but Shino Yuzuru is my friend. You screw with him and I will end you, I don't care who your family is. You hear me?"

"I didn't—" His eyes sought mine and I looked away, agony stabbing through my guts. "Please, Yuzuru-san, if you'd just let me—"

"He doesn't have to let you do anything. You leave him alone. Utsumi, come." She snapped her fingers imperiously in our direction, as if we were circus animals and she was the ringmaster.

On any other day I would have been annoyed, but now I just let Utsumi lead me out of the gym. I kept my head down, because I definitely couldn't handle the sight of Seryou right now. I kept seeing him and the other Shino together, the way his arms went around her and she fit so perfectly against his chest. A beautiful guy holding a beautiful girl, on a normal date in a normal place like normal people. What right did I have to want him? He was practically a fucking prince, and I was some mediocre goofball who'd gotten into this school on an archery scholarship and a whole lot of luck.

We got to the assembly hall for rehearsal, but I couldn't make it through the dance steps. I was fumbling so bad that Koike made excuses for me to the rest of the class, told them I was sick, and walked with me all the way to the train station to send me home.

"Are you sure you're going to be all right?" she asked as the train was pulling in. "I could go with you, I don't mind."

"I'm just tired, Koike-chan, I'm not an invalid. I can get myself home." I stepped into the train car before she could argue, and waved at her as the doors closed. Once we were out of the station, though, I slumped into one of the seats, school rules be damned, and buried my aching head in my hands. What was I so upset about, really? I'd known the guy not even two weeks. It's not like we'd been on a single real date. And we were both guys, so the whole thing was jacked up to begin with... wasn't it? It was better this way.

Because I couldn't go home just yet, I ended up changing trains and going to cram school instead. It was too early for afternoon exams, so I sat on a bench at the station and pulled out my books. Fuck Seryou, and his sexy hair, and his big fancy house, and his cruel mind games. Fuck his soft lips and yellow shirt and his smile...

God, that smile...

No, no, fuck it all. I had my own life to live. I didn't need him. He'd wasted enough of my time already.

My phone pinged, and I pulled it out.

I heard you're sick. Are you okay?

Do you need anything?

Please talk to me.

I swiped and deleted the text thread again, then stuffed the phone in my pocket. I would study here until the practice exams, get them over with, and go home. I could do that much. And then I was turning my phone off, and I was going to sleep.

XXX

If there was one thing cram school was good for, it was forcing your brain to focus. It was kind of like archery that way, you couldn't help but empty your head of all the extra stuff. They gave us three exams today, in English, math, and social studies. I aced the English one - American movies were kind of my thing and I watched so many that I had a good sense of what sounded right and what didn't, which came in really handy in school. Math was a little iffier, but I passed it okay. Social studies sucked, but that wasn't a surprise. It was my worst subject. My cram school teacher tsked at me and gave me like ten extra history and civics assignments to complete before next week's classes. I didn't mind. It would give me an excuse to hole up in my room when I got home.

The train ride to my house was a little harder. Too much time alone and I started thinking about Seryou again, about all those times he'd ridden home with me and we'd talked about archery and my model car collection and my preference for ramen over udon. Come to think of it, I usually did most of the talking. Seryou hadn't said much about himself, he just kept asking questions about whatever I was yammering on about. I wasn't sure whether that was because he'd been hiding his personal stuff from me, or if I'd been too busy thinking about myself to notice.

I refused three of his phone calls in the time it took me to get home. Mom was off work and tried to get me to sit down for dinner, but I wouldn't have been able to make it through a family meal without losing it. I told her I wasn't hungry and that I'd be up late studying, then retreated to my room before the rumbling of my stomach could betray me. It wasn't really a lie, though. My stomach was so empty it hurt, but there was no way I could eat anything. Somehow I was sure food would be more painful than the emptiness.

I plugged my phone in just as another text came through.

I hope you got home safe? Sleep well and get better.

I turned the phone off and started stacking my textbooks on the desk. I did homework until my vision started going blurry, then got into bed and closed my eyes. But just like last weekend, I couldn't sleep. The dark and the quiet felt suffocating, and I kept seeing Seryou's face, random flashes of him doing nonsense things—holding a bow in practice, handing me a carton of strawberry milk between classes, laughing at something I'd said. Then more serious stuff... the breeze ruffling his hair, right after he'd kissed me the first time at Yamashita Park. The silky growl in his voice when he'd whispered in my ear that he 'liked to be tied down.' The way his fathomless eyes had pinned me last weekend, right here on the floor beside my bed, with a blatant desire that made my bones weak. The lingering scent of his shampoo when we'd been pressed so close on the train. The sweet, fragile sensation of his lips when I took the Pocky from his mouth into mine.

I sat up in bed, threw off the covers and switched on the light. Obviously I wasn't tired enough yet. I went back to my desk and tackled social studies again, memorizing list after list of geographical facts until I could reproduce them without peeking at the book even once. After about the fifth time I had successfully written out the names of all the East Asian countries, the dates they were founded, their capital cities, their current leaders and their primary industries, I packed my books and notes away and went back to bed.

Same story, only this time my brain decided to torture me with images of Seryou that drifted between reality and fiction. Thoughts of him coming home from school to that girl living in his house. Holding her hand over dinner. Letting her rest her head in his lap as they watched TV. His faceless parents peeking in, smiling in approval as their son took such good care of the fiancée they'd picked out for him... I imagined the way he would take me aside at school next week, stand in front of me with his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels while saying something like I couldn't fall in love with you after all, Yuzuru-san. Let's break up. He should have just said it last week. It would have hurt less than this.

Back to my desk I went, and worked on my Japanese assignments this time. I finished every lesson for both my Houka classes and cram school. By the time I was done I could barely keep my eyes open. Surely I'd be able to sleep now...

Nope. Now my brain was demanding to know what would happen if that girl Shino broke his heart a second time. She'd cheated on him once already. He was an idiot to take her back, but that didn't mean he wouldn't be devastated when she did it again. Would he be feeling the way I did right now? Hopeless and lost and kind of hollow, like it didn't matter if the sun decided not to come up in the morning, because nothing would ever be as bright as it used to be...?

I growled and rolled over, punching my pillow into a hard lump under my head. I had to stop this. I would count to a thousand. I would count all the way up to a thousand before I let myself think of him again. One, two, three, four... he'd sent four arrows into the dirt during practice last week. Had it really been because he was thinking of me? Or had it been about Shino all along? Shit, start over. One, two, three...

It was going to be a really long night.