⫣30⫦ Home

"I really can't decide if you're the devil or an angel," Suga comments and takes a deep drag from the joint in his hand.

It's just turning bright, the morning announcing itself with the whistling of the birds and the lighting of the sky.

We left the party an hour ago and came back to the camp as RM likes to call it. Not Junkyard, because that's just the front they want everyone to believe this place to be.

We are all perched on the terrace, spread out in the loungers and sofa's. Since their kiss, Jungkook and Jimin have not been able to take their hands off each other and even now they share a sofa, Jimin's leg over Jungkook's and their hands locked together.

I've never seen them more content.

I myself am in my usual place between Taehyung's legs, his hands around my stomach and his chin resting on my shoulders. Suga has put on some soothing music and we talk about this and that. Our feelings, our hopes and dreams and what brings us the most joy. Two joints are going around and my head is already buzzing, my thoughts blurring sweetly together. I know it's called being high, but the happiness I'm feeling is only partly to the weed cursing through my body. I feel safe- at home. "One month," I suddenly say out of the blue and it earns me the confused looks of everyone. "What's in a month?" Jin asks from his place on the lounger, a little dazed look fallen over his eyes.I press myself a little more into Taehyung's heat even though the air is warm and promising another humid summer's day. "My birthday. I'm turning eighteen." "You want us to throw you a party?" RM asks with eyebrows raised in humour. I smile at the thought, but it's not the reason for mentioning it. "That would be so awesome. My first ever birthday party that doesn't involve nagging grown ups and pretending to be happy about receiving cards for an opera in freaking Italian." There is a round of chuckle, but when I grow a bit more serious they stop. "Actually," I start, not sure how to put it. "I've decided to move out." J-Hope breaks out into heavy coughing, having just taken a drag from the joint and the others shoot me startled gazes. I speak before any of them have the chance to ask questions. "I know my parents. And I know they'll never accept this- who I am. I'll try explaining of course, but I don't see how that is going to change the outcome. Don't worry, I'm not asking to stay here. My parent's have put up a deposit for me that will legally be mine once I turn eighteen. I can rent a flat or something and figure out what to do next. But I can't stay with them. No matter how much I love them, if they wont accept who I am, then I have to leave." There is a long silence until Taehyung asks from behind me, "Why don't you want to move here?"

"It's not that I don't want that. Actually I can't imagine anything I would rather want. But," I explain, and look back at their expecting gazes. I sigh, biting my lip in discomfort and let out the fear which has taken root in me some time ago.

"But what I told Joy is partly true. My father is a powerful lawyer, and he's friends with some even more powerful people. I'm sure he wont just let me go. And if he finds out I'm staying here with you, you'll all be in trouble. He'll make your life a living hell by using the law against you, and there is nothing I fear more than my father ruining this family." As one they look at me, and as one they look away, like they can't stand me looking at them. I blink in confusion. This is not the reaction I thought I would get. "What's wrong?" I ask when they still won't look at me. RM is the first to let out a heavy breath and shoots me a look I can't decipher. "We'll tell you tomorrow, okay? I think we're all pretty tired and should get some sleep." "Tell me what?" Jin rolls his eyes, like my constant curiosity is finally starting to get on his nerves, but I know that's not all of it. "Tomorrow, Lian. Just be a little patient for once. Now, let's all get some rest." He already stands, and waves a goodbye heading for the trailer to the very left. I watch him go in confusion. The others drag themselves out of their seats too and I wish them a good sleep, because there is nothing else I can do. It doesn't escape my attention that Jimin and Jungkook enter a blue trailer together and I smile quietly to myself. But the weird feeling in my stomach wont go away. In the end, it's just me and Taehyung. He has made no move to stand and his arms are still locked around my middle. "What's going on, Taehyung?" I just can't help myself. He doesn't move, but he tightens his grip on me. For a while we just sit like that, listening to the sound of the birds singing and watching the ever brightening sky.

Finally he speaks. "Please don't push this for now, Lian. We'll tell you, but not today. Come," and with that he pushes himself off the sofa, taking me with him. My knees feel weak.

"Where?" He chuckles and turns me. It's astonishing how I have looked at him so many times in the last hours and days, and yet every time my eyes land on him, it's like I'm seeing his beauty for the first time.

The perfect symmetry of his face, the sharp cheekbones and fine nose and those big, dark eyes that manage to take my breath away every time they fall on me. In the soft light of morning he is even more beautiful. "We're going to sleep together, of course." My mouth turns dry, my knees wobbly and he lets out another short laugh. "Do you know how incredibly cute you look when you blush? After all that's happened and the things you've already done, you still manage to look incredibly innocent when you turn red like that. But no worries. We're just going to sleep. We're both exhausted and we have time to do all the things we want to do later. There is no rush."

I want to tell him I'm not tired, not when I think about what exactly it is that we wants to do- because for me there's a lot. But I can't. I am exhausted.

It really has been a long day, starting with climbing that gate, to the wild police chase and then the night of dancing and drinking. No to mention the weed that further numbs my body. "All right," I say with a tired nod and he takes my hand into his, leading me to a trailer in the middle. I still have enough strength in my body to be nervous though. I know he said we were just going to sleep, but only the thought of being in his arms, him holding me as our breaths become one in sleep is more than I ever expected from this day.

His trailer is purple and black lines travel over the walls, just like the tattoos on his arm. He opens the door and lets me step in first. I take it all in. The space isn't big, but it's homey. A large white wardrobe stands against the wall and next to it a small desk with a laptop and some folders and nothing more. On the opposite side, cushions and blankets are spread on the floor, creating a little cozy corner, some books and notebooks lying on top, like he uses this are to read and write in peace. A little refrigerator and a bookshelf stand a bit farther off too. To the left the trailer is separated in two by a large metal plate and a door. Probably a little bathroom. And then there is the bed. It's perched in between both walls, resting with the head against the right wall. I stare at it as Taehyung comes in behind me and I feel his breath on my neck. "Welcome to my house," He whispers and I shudder. "It's nothing compared to yours, but it's home." I turn, craning my head to smile up at him. "I's a thousand times more beautiful than the house I live in, and you know why? Because all of this was made by you. It's made for no one but yourself, unlike ours, where I feel like it's mostly used to impress others." He laughs quietly and then bends down to give me a sweet but lingering kiss. Looking into my eyes he says: "I like how you think. I think I might like everything about you." The confession sends a warm feeling right down to my stomach where it blooms like a flower on a warm spring day. "Even though I'm noisy and demanding and can apparently get very, very nasty?" He pulls me a bit closer and angles his head just out of reach for our lips to touch. There is a glitter in his eyes that seems to brighten the room and makes me unable to look at anything but him. "The fact that you ask so much shows that you're both curious and smart. And the things you demand are things that are already yours and show us that you're not afraid to take what you want. And I suggest you don't mention how nasty you can get, because that shit turns me on more than anything and might let me forget all the things I said earlier and then we certainly won't get any sleep." I grin, even as my eyes feel like they weigh a ton. He must see the exhaustion in my face because he backs off a little giving me a little nod towards the door on the left. "There is a little bathroom in there. You can go wash up, and," He moves over to the little wardrobe and pulls out something grey that he hands me. "You can wear this." I'm too tired to do anything else but nod and make my way to the bathroom. I make quick work of washing my face and changing out of the sweaty and ruined school uniform. Every movement feels like a strain, and my thoughts are slurry and slow. I don't even think about whether I should leave on my bra or not. I take it off and throw it to the rest of my dirty clothes. Then I take the oversized grey shirt and put it on. It falls down to my knees and I almost moan at how comfortable it feels. I finally drag myself out. "Here, let me make it easier for you," a voice suddenly says and I feel myself being heaved up. My eyes close the moment I feel Taehyung's strong arms around me and he lowers me into the bed. Now I really do moan. God, how long has it been since I really slept? I hear a low, male chuckle, a little rustling and then nothing for a few seconds. I'm almost sure I've already fallen asleep, but then the mattress shifts and I feel something warm nestle in next to me. Arms come around me, drawing me close. Peace descents upon me and the last thing I hear is Taehyung's whisper in my ear. "I'll promise to never leave you either."