Chapter 8 - Anastasia/Harvey

AnastasiaI have been ecstatic since reading Harvey's email. I didn't expect him to answer my question after getting interrupted the other day. I don't even know what gotten into me that made me ask that question in the first place. I've never done that before.

Harvey makes me feel so good, the way he looks at me gives me the biggest confidence boost. He has that effect on me... He is intoxicating. I knew I'd go out with him eventually. And the fact that he sat down and wrote all that for me speaks volume.

I loved it. I love knowing how much he wants this -wants me. I feel really good. This is either gonna be the most amazing love story, or the world's toughest heartbreak. Either way, that's not today's problem. Today, I'm planning on giving Harvey a positive answer and demanding he plans the most perfect first date for us.

"Anastasia!" my dad's loud voice causes me to jump.

I put my phone away, leaving the reply in my drafts, and run downstairs to find him. "What happened? Is someone dying..."

My question dies down as I see how red his face is with anger. I've never seen him like this before. He is holding a paper in his hand. I swallow hard, knowing exactly what it is.

"What the fuck is this?!" he shouts and throws it at me

"It looks like a letter... from Harvard"

"A rejection letter!" he points out.

"Yeah, well... Better luck next time" I say lightheartedly.

"Shut up!" he yells.

A loud noise echoes across the living room and I feel the sting on my face before I realize what happened. He slapped me. He did...

"You are so immature and ungrateful. I've given you everything in this life and you can't do one fucking thing right!".

I don't reply. I'm too shocked at what he did. I just stand there, holding my aching cheek.

"I'm done funding your hobbies" he states. "From now on its Harvard or nothing. And since you got rejected again, you have nothing. You are 22 and you have done nothing useful in your life"

"I have a biology degree..." I whisper. My thesis passed assessments yesterday, and I'm officially a soon-to-be graduate.

"Then take that fucking piece of paper and go make something of yourself. Go find a job, a house and see how the money I've paid for your stupid paper was earned. Maybe that will make you grow up, mature and finally understand. You have until the end of the day to be out of here"

"And where am I supposed to go?"

"I don't fucking care. And you should be grateful I'm letting you get your things -things that I've paid for".

"Fuck you" I spit out

"Excuse me?"

"I don't want your fucking charity. I don't want anything from you. You want to see me on my own? You got it. I'll get by just fine. I'm not going to be the first student with a job on the side to get by. And Hopkins offers great resources.

"Oh, wait. I forgot to tell you. Yeah, I got into Hopkins and I'm going. I'll be down there if you ever want to check on how amazing I'm doing without you. And then I'm gonna be the best surgeon that's ever practice on this side of the country" I argue as I throw my acceptance letter from Hopkins at him.

I haven't realized I've been yelling. But my throat is sore and there are tears running down my cheeks.

"No, I don't think so" he says and pulls out his phone. My heart drops.

HarveyI couldn't sleep last night. I kept shifting in my bed, and checking my phone every 5 minutes. Did I screw up by sending Ana that email? Did I scare her off? I didn't mean to push her away. I really like her, and I want her in my life. But maybe I'm stupid.

Disappointed and unfocused, I go back to work in the morning. But she is not waiting for me in my cubicle. Or the library. Or any storage room. I call her but it goes straight to voicemail. I really screwed up, didn't I?

I shallow my pride and go to Jessica's office. I knock on her door before walking in. I find her talking with Daniel Hardman. It's actually good that he's here too.

"Good morning. Have you seen my annoying sidekick anywhere?" I wonder lightheartedly

"That's what Jessica and I are talking about right now" Daniel reveals. "Unfortunately, Anastasia has left, cutting your collaboration short".

My heart drops.

"Left to where?" I ask

"I don't know. She left during the night and left me and her mother a single letter, telling us she doesn't want to stay here any longer and would rather explore the world" he explains.

"Bullshit" I storm out and run to the elevator. Jessica calls after me but I ignore her.

Ana would never just leave. She was getting ready for Hopkins, already planning on what to pack and what to wear on the first day. She was over the moon. She wouldn't just say 'Fuck it' and run away like this. One thing about her is that she doesn't make rushed decisions, she plans and calculates everything.

I jump in a cab and give them the address of her best friend, Kate. I charm my way in the building and run up the stairs. I knock on her door repeatedly until someone answers.

"Where is she?" I ask her immediately

"Who are you?" she asks, shutting the door almost closed behind her

"Harvey Specter. Where is Ana?" I insist

"Oh, so you're the infamous Harvey Specter..." she says, leaning against the door. She looks at me up from head to toe, but not in a good way, more like she's judging me.

"Where is Anastasia?" I repeat

"She's asleep right now. She had a rough night" she reveals

"What happened?" I ask

"She told me that her dad found out her rejection letter from Harvard and kicked her out of the house" she explains

"Shit..." I run a hand through my face.

I can fix this quickly. I will just show him the real acceptance letter and, hopefully, he'll realize how stupid he acted.

"Don't" Kate grabs my arm, like she read my mind. "If you show him the real one, he'll force her to go to Boston and then she'll be even more unhappy"

"He can't force her--" I argue

"I'm afraid he can. While they were arguing, Anastasia revealed her acceptance from Hopkins. So he called up the dean of Johns Hopkins Medicine -who he is apparently his golfing buddy" she adds, "She is banned now"

"Shit!" I punch the wall.

"Keep it down, tough guy. She still got Stanford" she reminds me

"No, she can't go to California" I state

Kate opens her mouth but another voice cuts her off. "Why not?" Ana asks as she comes to the door.

I freeze.

'Because I want you here. Because I need you here. Because I want you in my life. Because I miss you already...'

But I don't say any of it out loud.

I just look at her. Her voice is harsh. Her eyes are red and glossy, her face is puffy, her hair is all over the place; completely different of the put together image she always showed me. She is wearing her big glasses again and has a blanket wrapped around her body.

I just want to pull her in and hold her, make sure she is safe from anyone who could ever hurt her like this again.

"Why can't I go to California, Harvey?" Ana asks again.

I take a breathe. "Can we talk in private?" I suggest.

Kate looks at Ana. Ana nods and Kate sighs, "Fine. Make yourself at home. I'll grab some coffee and be back in 5" she says and lets us in her apartment by ourselves.

Ana heads for the couch and I follow her. I sit down besides her carefully, scared of her fragile state.

"How can I help?" I ask, sounding desperate

"There is nothing to do. I have an aunt in California -my mom's sister, she'll let me stay with her for a bit and help me set everything up"

"No. There has to be another way. There is always a way out, and I'm going to find it"

"No" she takes my hand to stop me. "Harvey, no, please. Whatever way there is to fix this, it won't fix the relationship with my father. He destroyed that forever, and I don't want to see his face again any more than he wants to see mine" she explains as she continues to hold my hand

"Just let me try" I beg her, "He's out there telling everyone that you ran away" I inform her

"I don't give a shit. I just want out of here and as far away from him as possible" she admits.

"And what about me?"

"Excuse me?"

"I meant all the things I wrote to you, Ana. And I want you in my life. I will do anything--"

"Then come with me" she suggests

"I can't do that", it didn't even cross my mind.

"Of course..." she sighs. "You will do anything, unless it inconveniences your life plan. Guess what? My life plan has been thrown in the garbage and I'm trying to grasp onto anything close to that plan right now. So I'm going to Stanford and I'll see what I'll do from there because there is no fucking plan anymore. I'm stressed and I'm scared, but I'm gonna do it. And if you don't see yourself sticking around for it, you can leave before it gets worse" she states looking away from me.

"Ana..." I breathe out. I slip on the floor and kneel in front of her. I lift her chin up to make her look at me. "Give me some time, please. I need a chance to fix, at least, a few things like Hopkins"

"How?" a tear rolls down her cheek

I bring a gentle hand to her face, "Don't worry about it. Leave it up to me, ok?" I reply as I wipe her tear away.

"I need to be in California by Sunday, if I'm going to say yes to Stanford. Because their summer pre-med program starts on Monday and I have to attend if I'm going to say yes to them. You can work something out in 3 days?"

"I can do a lot of things in 3 days" I promise. "You just relax and get some rest. I'll keep you updated"

"Thank you" she squeezes my hand

"Don't even mention it".