18 | ❝ IT ALL FELL DOWN... AGAIN ❞

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CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

❝ IT ALL FELL DOWN... AGAIN ❞

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[ season 2, own storyline ]

TRIGGER WARNING!

This chapter discusses the topic of exploiting women for a known purpose...

This is such a difficult topic that I can't even bring myself to say the name.

Please keep this in mind...

ROSIE POV

ROSIE FELT LIKE HER LIFE HAD COLLAPSED LIKE A HOUSE OF CARDS IN THE PAST TWENTY FOUR HOURS, AND ONCE AGAIN. Lissie's move had completely devastated her and Marrie. She didn't know what to do to keep her in the apartment. Their conversation should have taken a completely different turn, but how long was she supposed to ignore the fact that so little of her best friend remained? How was she supposed to know that the person she'd done literally anything for would hurt her so viciously?

The previous day, she hadn't been able to utter a single word – she'd been grateful that Marrie had run to get Chim after their argument woke her up, because without him, things would have been even worse. Neither of them slept a wink – her heart broke as she watched the nine-year-old sit sobbing on the floor opposite the front door, still hoping her beloved aunt would come back. But she didn't.

"I hate her," she muttered angrily during breakfast. "How could she do this to us? Leave without a word? This isn't the Aunt Lissie I know..."

She looked at her parents, who sighed, completely bewildered by the whole situation themselves. They didn't know what to say to her.

When Chim placed a plate of pancakes in front of the girl, she pushed it toward her father, shocking him.

"I'm not hungry," she said, looking away completely.

"Marrie, you've barely eaten anything since yesterday," Chim said, clearly concerned. "But you love pancakes..."

With that statement, their daughter was so enraged that she became completely hysterical, even furious.

But she didn't return.

"I HATE PANCAKES!" she screamed furiously. "I HATE THEM BECAUSE THEY REMIND ME OF HER! I HATE HER!"

Chim and Rosie looked at the girl in shock. Marigold had always been a polite and cheerful child – this one argument had practically broken her, and she hadn't even participated in it.

"Okay," Han said calmly, trying to calm her down. "I'll make some cereal. Can I have some?"

She just nodded, her eyes visibly glassy. She didn't say another word.

Rosie knew she had to get to the truth... At all costs. She couldn't let the years of friendship between her and Lissie go to waste. Nothing would stop her.

BOBBY GAVE HER TWO DAYS OFF, EVEN THOUGH CHIMNEY ASKED HIM FOR ONE, SO ROSIE PLANNED TO USE IT. Right after Chim took Marrie to school, she turned on the TV, where the morning show was showing a wanted poster for a serial rapist. His name was Austin Haywood, and the city he was on the loose was...

Chicago.

Buckley felt this was definitely not a coincidence. She didn't believe it—she knew that if something was happening, it had to have a reason.

She started thinking about where to start—she could call Seth, but she knew he and Maddie were unusually hard on Lissa after what had happened. She decided to ask Athena for help.

"Hello?" She heard a policewoman's voice on the other end of the line. "Rosie? What happened? Everyone's been targeting Lissie since yesterday... She won't say anything..."

"Athena, that's why I'm calling for help," the girl said. "Can you find any information about this serial killer the entire American police force is looking for?"

"You're talking about Haywood?" Grant asked her. "I know as much as you do that he was active in Chicago. Do you think he...?"

"That he's the reason Lissie's acting like a zombie, pushing everyone away from her? I don't know... I want to make sure that bastard hasn't hurt her..."

"What if...?" she asked her. "What if it turns out it's his fault?"

Rosie closed her eyes as tears began to form. She swallowed, trying to control herself.

"Then... He'll beg me for mercy when I get my hands on him," she said clearly. Athena wanted to comment, but her former charge wouldn't even let her. "I know it's a risk, but if someone hurts my loved ones, there's no saving them."

"You're willing to sacrifice the world for your loved ones, just to keep them safe, I understand that perfectly, but with a serial killer, you have to be careful. And most importantly, don't act alone!"

"I won't let anyone touch my sister," she said clearly and firmly. "I'll destroy him before he gets near her again. Although, despite everything, I hope it's not his fault. It would break my heart if it were otherwise..."

She heard the sergeant sigh.

"I'll see what I can find out. Seth is mad at me, so I'll ask Detective Romero for help."

"Everything's falling apart with our twisted family fighting among themselves... We have to fix this."

"Everything will work out," the officer said, trying to calm her younger friend. "I know it..."

She hung up, and a silence fell over the apartment, practically ringing in young Buckley's ears.

She couldn't wait. Literally everything depended on it—she couldn't let her family, which she'd practically built from scratch, crumble like a house of cards.

There was one person who could answer the questions that haunted her—specifically, Ian. After all, he was like a brother to Lissie.

She glanced quickly at the clock; she knew he should be finishing his shift, so she called him immediately. When he answered the FaceTime call, he was still at the firehouse, just as she'd thought. Seeing Rosie's look, he became visibly stressed.

"I see Lissie told you the truth," he said tensely.

Rosie frowned in surprise. She felt her heart begin to pound. She silently pleaded that what their friend had in mind wasn't the worst-case scenario that had been haunting her since morning.

"What truth? About what?" she asked him. "Ian, she won't talk to me at all... You know she moved in with her father?"

"What?" he asked, shocked. "So you don't know what that bastard did to her?"

Rosie froze, tears welling up in her eyes again.

"Please... Tell me you're not talking about that serial rapist who got away," she said, her voice cracking.

When Garcia remained silent, it dawned on her that Austin was the reason she'd run away. He was telling her only what he knew, and with each passing moment, Rosie felt herself falling apart even more than after their argument.

"Why?" she asked, shaking. "Why didn't either of you tell me or Bobby? She needed us, and we were in LA completely unaware."

"She forbade us," he said bluntly. "I wanted to tell you, but I felt it would be a betrayal of Lissie... Even though I asked her to tell you. You both had a right to know. Suzanna sided with her, and I had no say in the matter."

"Total nonsense," she snapped. "It was your damned duty to tell us! You ignored me because I'm not important, but Suzanna had a duty to tell her own brother, and what did she do?!" Rosie slammed her fist on the table, unable to control the emotions that were raging through her. "You're no better either, leaving her with a strange guy because you found someone to flirt with! Start thinking with your head, not with what's between your legs, damn it!" You promised me you'd protect her when I left for Los Angeles! You promised, and you broke your promise!

She completely lost control, but Ian didn't say a word—he let her unburden herself with what she felt.

"You don't even know how much guilt I feel," the boy said, on the verge of tears himself. "Lissie was my only semblance of family, and I..."

The young firefighter's words hurt her even more—she realized that all those things about the five of them, including Marrie, being family, were blatant lies...

Why was this another time she felt like no one really needed her there?

"Rosie?" he asked her. "Rosie, please don't do anything stupid..."

"And why are you suddenly so interested?" she replied angrily. "After all, I was an unnecessary addition to you, a shame to get rid of for over nine years, even though you knew he was broken inside." I was never part of your family...

"Rosa..." he began, but couldn't finish.

The girl simply ended the call. She placed the phone on the table, then leaned against the wall, slid down it, cowering beneath it, and began to sob. She felt terribly alone... She felt as if the last ten years of her life had been one big lie.

SHE DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE IT WAS LATE AFTERNOON. A call from Chim reminded her of this, reminding her she was supposed to take Marrie and Denny to the cinema. He'd also asked her to drop by the firehouse because he'd had enough of Buck, Eddie, and Hen jokingly speculating about why Rosie hadn't really shown up for work. He said even Bobby's warning hadn't helped much, so he needed her help.

She agreed to come—after what she'd learned, she needed a little normalcy.

"What my eyes see," she heard her brother say, who had noticed her first. "But legends sometimes tell the truth. You're alive after all!"

She shook her head, trying to laugh. She tried to sound as natural as possible.

"Did you miss me that much?" she asked him. "I'll be on shift tomorrow, so you'll be tired of me, I'm sure."

Buck hugged his sister close, and she knew from his gaze that he must have been talking to Lissie.

"How is she feeling?" she asked him so quietly that only her younger brother could hear. She sighed heavily. "Does she still hate me?"

"I could tell she was full of resentment on the phone, but that's for Maddie and Chim," he said, and the girl's eyes widened in surprise. "Didn't they tell you they were making a scene with her? Especially our sister..."

"I told Chim not to attack her... The fact that I didn't tell him what happened... But that didn't mean they both had the right to attack her..." she replied. "Especially since I know why she was acting like that, but I won't say anything. Especially not until I talk to her about it..."

"Is it serious?" Buck said, clearly worried.

The girl sighed.

"Yes..." she said, then burst into tears. "And you don't even know how much, little brother... It hurts so much, you can't even imagine."

He didn't ask any more questions, just hugged his sister to himself to help her calm down...

DINNER WAS PASSED IN A RATHER CALM, YET SLIGHTLY TENSE. Rosie helped Bobby with the dishes, but she felt Nash watching her closely.

"Tell me what's bothering you, boss," she said, not even glancing at him. She still felt a pang inside, because she considered the Nash family practically her own, when in reality, she'd never been even a single percent part of it... Bobby wasn't to blame, but she tried to maintain her distance. "Captain? I'm still waiting..."

"I wonder why you're so hostile towards me. You're not yourself, Rosie... I know you had a fight with Lissie, but you're distancing yourself from me too. It worries me because I thought we were friends..."

"It's just..." she sighed heavily. "It's better if our relationship remains professional. It's better for you and your family."

"When I showed up at this firehouse, you were the first to reach out to me when the rest of the crew was wary of me... You can't tell me you're acting this way now because you had a fight with my daughter."

It was clear the girl was on the verge of a complete breakdown. She wanted to tell Bobby what she'd learned, but she knew it would break his heart into a thousand pieces.

As much as Athena managed to mend it by loving him.

She didn't even know how she was supposed to break such devastating news to him...

Their conversation was interrupted by the fact that all six firefighters received messages from the same number at the same time.

"What's going on?" Hen asked. "How messed up do you have to be to record something like that?!

"What kind of video is this? This must be some kind of unfunny joke..." Eddie said. "No one normal would do something like that..."

"Fuck!" Chim exclaimed, having clearly already fired it up. Rosie could see the fury on his face. He looked away from the screen, and his girlfriend noticed tears welling up in his eyes. "What did he do to her...?"

"Is that what you were talking about?" Buck looked at his sister in shock. "Poor Lissie... I... That really explains a lot."

Rosie started her video and... She couldn't turn it off, and neither could Bobby. They watched it second by second until the very end—the older Buckley shed a sea of ​​tears while watching.

She might have learned that Lissie had been raped, but this... It completely broke her. She wanted revenge, wanted to hunt down Austin and destroy him like he had destroyed her beloved sister... She hoped she would be able to do just that.

"Chim, you're in charge," Bobby said suddenly. "We're going to explain this... Because there's something to talk about."

He glanced at Rosie, and she quickly wiped her tears and grabbed her bag to head to her car so they could drive, as it turned out, to the Grants' house.

"When did you find out?" Bobby asked as they drove there. "You obviously weren't as shocked as the others. I know you, young one."

"This morning... I had to get the truth out of Ian... He and Suzanna knew everything and didn't tell us anything because she told them not to."

The captain's expression said one thing: if he got his hands on his little sister anytime soon... Rosie was sure he'd give her a scolding, though that was probably putting it mildly.

SHE DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT LONG TO SEE THE REDHEAD RUBBING WITH HER OLDER BROTHER. When they arrived at Athena's house, they found the sergeant, Bobby's sister, and Lissie herself in the living room, who, upon seeing them, quickly fled to the bathroom. Elder Nash was literally on the verge of exploding – Athena and Rosie tried to defuse the situation, but nothing worked. Buckley herself was seething, especially when the Chicago lawyer tried to explain that it wasn't her job.

"Fuck!" the girl exclaimed, completely out of it. "Are you even listening, Suzanna?! Wasn't that your job?! I thought blondes were stereotypically stupid, but I see redheads aren't any better!"

"Watch your words..." Aunt Lissie began.

"Why? You're telling me to go to the corner? There's only three years between us, don't act like you're older than me. Get a grip, carrot."

"Lissie was my client!" She looked at her brother and the two women present. "How did you imagine that?"

"Damn it, Suzanna!" Rosie exclaimed. She was already losing control, and Lissie's escape to the bathroom wasn't making things any easier. "Being a client is one thing, but she's your niece! You had a duty to at least notify Bobby, because I know you don't consider me family, like the three of you always said! Instead, what did you do?" You nodded and patted her on the back, saying it was a good move! And where did that leave us, hmm?!

Without waiting for any permission, the girl walked out of the living room and straight towards the bathroom. Despite everything, she wanted Lissie to understand that she was never alone. Even if she had gotten herself into such a mess.

LISSIE POV

SHE FELT AS IF SHE WAS UNDERWATER. She couldn't breathe properly, her lungs failing to fill with air. Breathing was something she'd managed to do every day since she'd entered this world. It was a natural act, one no one even considered, but now she felt as if she'd lost that ability. Her chest ached, and her whole body trembled. She tried to wrap her arms around herself to calm the tremors, as if that would somehow help her control what she was feeling. Tears welled in her eyes, but even they couldn't bring any relief.

It felt like she was dreaming. Otherwise, this couldn't be real. Even in her worst nightmare, she hadn't considered something like this happening. She didn't have the strength to face it... Last time, she'd barely managed, but now?

Now all she wanted was to disappear. See no one. Hear no one. Not to feel.

And yet, at the same time, a desperate need smoldered within her for someone to be with her and take away all the fear and pain that was lingering within her. She should have listened to Ian long ago and told her loved ones about what had happened, instead of waiting for a more opportune moment.

It was a complete lie, the one she kept telling herself, thinking that if she didn't revisit it and recount it aloud, her memory would eventually forget what had happened. But the human body didn't work that way. It remembered every trauma it had experienced precisely, and you could escape it for as long as you wanted, but sooner or later, everything came back with a vengeance.

When someone knocked on the door, she quickly recognized the way it was. Rosie.

"Lissie?" She spoke with the gentleness and empathy that had always been her gift. "May I come in?"

Lissie closed her eyes and gripped the edge of the tub. She didn't answer, hoping it would drive her friend away. But should she even call her that? She'd hurt her. She'd failed her. She'd written off years of friendship just because she was afraid.

Rosie shouldn't even be there. But she was, and Lissie felt she was completely undeserving of it. She wondered how Buckley hadn't hated her yet, after what she'd done. After all, she had every right to, and Nash wouldn't blame her at all.

"If you think a locked door will defeat me, you're dead wrong," she heard her voice much closer, and when she looked up, she saw none other than her little Flower, smiling gently at her. Lissie curled into herself even tighter, as if that made her smaller, less visible, less... hurt. "I climbed into a burning house through a window on a rope like damn Tarzan. Nothing is impossible for me. I may have broken the lock slightly, but I know Athena will forgive me in this situation."

"What are you doing here?" she asked weakly, then wiped her tears. "Shouldn't you be with your family?"

"And that's the problem, because my family is large," she said, slowly approaching her. "And it's this one cowardly chicken who needs me more than anyone else right now."

"I'm not a cowardly chicken," she replied, sounding like an offended child who didn't like the rules she'd been given.

Rosie sat down next to her. She didn't touch her, afraid it might be too abrupt, and Lissie wasn't sure if she was grateful or not. However, she didn't know what she wanted, because on the one hand, she abhorred any kind of touch, and on the other, she wanted someone to hold her in their arms and never let go, so she could finally feel safe.

"You are, you are," Rosie said, shaking her head. "But that's how I love you. Even to you, Ian, and Suzanna, I was just a pretty addition, not a real family member like you told me."

"What?" Lissie looked at her with tearful eyes. It was the last thing she expected to hear. How could Rosie even think she'd never been like family to her? "Why are you saying something like that?" Understanding came before Rosie could even open her mouth to reply. "Ian told you something, right? This is the thing he told me he had to clear up with you."

Buckley looked at her, even more surprised. She clearly hadn't expected the topic of her conversation with Garcia to reach Lissie.

"He said..." she began, but her voice broke. "That you were always his substitute for family. You, not us... It made sense to me that you only kept me and Marrie out of pity." But don't worry... I'm used to being superfluous in whatever family I supposedly belong to...

The girl practically curled into a fetal position, only to hear Lissie's soft sobbing a moment later. The sound definitely softened her even more.

"You're not redundant, you idiot," Lissie replied. "It's Ian who's the idiot. He was always bad at English and couldn't distinguish between personalities. Rosie, you're like the older sister I never had because I was always the older sister... And Marrie? Do you think I could pretend to my little Flower everything I felt for her? I know I can hide my problems very well, but never my love for her. Although she probably hates me right now."

"She was waiting for you to come back," Rosie said. "She stayed up all night because she was sure you'd get over it and come back... This morning she refused the pancakes Chim made for her. I've never seen her so furious. She may say she hates you, but I know if you come home with me, she'll forgive you. I know her, and I know how much she loves you."

"Maybe..."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rosie asked the question Lissie had been dreading. She knew it would come eventually, but she still wasn't ready for it. "If I had known... I wouldn't have pushed you so hard. Don't you trust me?"

Her words stung Lissie. Rosie was one of the few people she actually trusted. Still, it wasn't a matter of trust. Nash shook her head.

"I was ashamed," she said quietly, almost barely audible, as if saying it would change their entire relationship. "I thought that if I didn't talk about it, I'd regain some control over my life... That if I buried it, deep inside, it would be almost as if it never happened..."

"It doesn't work that way, Lissie. You know it... Hiding your problems only breaks you down more. I know what I'm talking about."

Lissie looked up at her. She was breathing a little better, but she still couldn't understand why all this had to happen to her. If Athena had received the same video, and then her father and Rosie had shown up at the Grant house frantically, that meant everyone had seen him. She could barely look Rosie in the eye, and she still had to talk to her furious father, so she wouldn't be able to face all 118th.

"I didn't want you and Dad... For you to look at me differently. You always told me I was strong, but clearly I'm not. I'm stupid and naive, and above all, weak and broken. And Dad... if he found out, it would kill him. He was barely putting his life back together in LA, and I didn't want to ruin it for him."

"But we would have been there for you... You wouldn't have had to face this alone," Rosie sighed softly, trying to control her own tears. "If you hadn't talked me into leaving Chicago, none of this would have happened... I should have been there, not back to L.A."

"That has nothing to do with it... You can't blame yourself for something you couldn't control..."

Buckley shook her head and reached for her hand hesitantly, but Lissie didn't pull away, even if she initially flinched at the touch.

"You're a part of my life, little Star," she confessed with all her love for Lissie. "One of the most important people, and I can't imagine a day without you. You helped me when I was down, and I'm only this way now because of you. And you're wrong. You're not weak. You're much stronger than you think..." Rosie reached for her hair and brushed a strand back. "Someone hurt you, but no one can break you."

Something inside Lissie snapped. She sobbed loudly and leaned her forehead against her friend's shoulder, and Rosie immediately took her in her arms. She stroked her back, whispering soft words about how she would never leave her and how much she loved her.

"It's not that easy," she confessed, her voice trembling. "I still see it. Every moment... I don't know if I'll ever be able to be even half the person I was when you met me."

"I don't care," she said bluntly. "You're my sister, no matter what happens. Besides, I know you'll get back up. None of us will leave you, do you hear me?" She cupped her face in her hands, forcing Lissie to look into her eyes. She wiped her tears away, kissed the top of her head, and then hugged her close. Nash felt that this was actually helping, even if only slightly.

"You're too good for me..." she said to Buckley. "I pulled away from you when you were just trying to help me. I'm sorry."

"That's just how I am, and I know you can't imagine life without my humble self, little Star," she replied, feigning pride like a peacock, which slightly lifted her friend's mood. "You're stuck with me, whatever happens... And you have nothing to apologize for. I was the one who pushed you too hard, but I only did it out of concern for you."

Lissie nodded, fully aware of this, and then snuggled closer to Buckley. The panic didn't leave her, but for the first time in a long time, she felt as if the weight on her shoulders had eased. And that was a small success.

A/N

A lot is happening...

Next time, a lot will be revealed, but this is only the beginning of the rollercoaster.