19 | ❝ THE STORY OF LISSIE'S HELL ❞

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CHAPTER NINETEEN

❝ THE STORY OF LISSIE'S HELL ❞

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[ season 2, own storyline ]

TRIGGER WARNING!

This chapter discusses the topic of exploiting women for a known purpose...

This is such a difficult topic that I can't even bring myself to say the name.

Please keep this in mind...

LISSIE POV

WHEN THEY CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM, EVERYONE WAS WAITING FOR THEM IN THE LIVING ROOM. It was clear that the atmosphere in the room was tense because of the argument between Bobby and Suzanna that Lissie had heard earlier. She didn't want them to argue because of her, but she felt that her father would not easily forgive his sister for keeping something like this from him. May was also there, and Lissie could tell from her gaze that the others must have told her everything, or at least what they thought a teenager should know.

However, she wasn't looking at her, her aunt, or Athena, but at her father. Bobby was leaning against the kitchen island with his arms crossed. As soon as he heard her approaching footsteps, he straightened up and looked at her exactly as she had expected – with pain, guilt, and anger at what had happened to her. He felt completely helpless.

"Mellie..." he said quietly, as if afraid that every word he uttered would scare his daughter even more. Shame hit her with double the force.

"I'm sorry... I let you down," she confessed, not looking him in the eye.

Bobby moved closer to her, but stopped halfway, unsure if that was what she wanted.

"Never," he said confidently, which finally made her look up at him. He was standing right next to her, and she could see tears glistening in his eyes, rolling down his cheeks. "You will never disappoint me. You are my daughter, and what happened is not your fault." Lissie didn't wait, but immediately took a step toward him, and just as she had hugged Rosie before, she now almost fell into her father's arms, where she always felt safest. "I'm here," he kissed her forehead. "I always will be, I promise."

2017

IT WAS A QUIET NIGHT. Although perhaps she shouldn't have used that word, whether she said it out loud or just thought it, because it was often like a curse in the lives of firefighters. At least in the 33rd unit in Chicago, where she worked. Every time someone said it, it felt like the most demanding and bizarre calls were falling on their entire team. Often without any long breaks to rest.

Lissie sat on one of the couches, holding a cup of iced tea she had made that day with Chloe. They were both shocked that it was still intact, as they were sure that all the boys on shift would pounce on it. Meanwhile, however, they preferred to have a little arm wrestling competition, which the girls watched with great amusement.

"Ten bucks that Ian will win," Chloe held out her hand to her, waiting for her to take the bet.

"Twenty that he'll lose," Lissie agreed, taking her coworker's hand. The girls looked at each other, completely amused, and laughed, almost forgetting how Garcia was arm wrestling with firefighter Casey.

"Your faith in him amazes me. Sometimes I wonder if you love or hate each other more."

"It's a fine line between love and hate, as they say," Lissie grinned widely. "I torment him, and he loves me. That's how we divide our responsibilities in this relationship."

"And you know what?" Chloe turned sideways to look at her better. "That's a damn good division of responsibilities. There's too much testosterone in this station. At least one of them should know exactly where he stands." The firefighter sighed dreamily. "I miss Rosie. Or at least another girl on the shift. Anything to disrupt their" she pointed to the group of guys who were loudly cheering on Garcia and Casey "damn male solidarity."

"We can always tease them a little," Lissie's eyes flashed mischievously, and Chloe whistled softly.

"Whatever you've got in mind, I'm all for it with every fiber of my being," the woman laughed cheerfully, knowing full well that Lissie's jokes usually went unnoticed by their captain. Their amusement, as well as the boys' wrestling, was interrupted by an alarm. "But I guess we'll have to come back to this after the call."

"Unless we play a little prank on them on the way back."

"Nash, woman, I love you!" Chloe kissed her on the cheek, and then they both ran downstairs to get their things and prepare to leave the station.

On the way to the scene, the Captain informed them that they were going to a bar where a group fight had taken place. The dispatcher told them that the injuries were mostly superficial, but that the people were still aggressive, so the police were already on their way.

When they arrived at the scene, it was complete chaos. Most of the people from the bar had managed to disappear, and the bartenders were handing the two most injured people bags of ice to put under their eyes. They were sitting on opposite sides of the room, still glaring at each other menacingly, and it was clear that they had started the whole brawl. Apart from them, there were a few other people with minor injuries, but they all definitely needed medical attention.

The captain of the thirty-third unit scanned the entire room and finally began to give orders.

"Nash, take the one on the right," he said to her, and she immediately let him know that she understood and moved to the indicated place.

She put her medical bag on the floor and looked closely at the boy. His face was completely covered in blood, his shirt was torn, exposing his ribs, on which the first bruises were beginning to appear. He looked broken and defenseless. Lissie just shook her head – she could never understand club fights.

"Can you hear me?" She crouched down next to him, checking his vital signs. He was breathing, and quite heavily at that, so she could cross at least one problem off her list.

The brunet looked at her and, despite the blood running down his temple, he smiled as if he were experiencing something extremely pleasant. Lissie found this behavior extremely strange, but she ignored it because she knew that everyone reacted to pain in a completely different way. Add to that being drunk, and you lose any rational contact with reality. She could say a lot about that.

"I can hear you," he replied confidently. "Although my ears are ringing a little."

"Are you going to tell me what happened? Did you hit your head?"

"Austin," he interrupted her with the same smile. "Austin is fine, pretty."

Lissie wanted to roll her eyes at his words. So he was that drunk type... The kind who hit on anything that moved. However, she decided to be professional as always. She took a medical flashlight out of her bag and shone it in his eyes to see how he would react.

"It's probably a concussion, but a CT scan should show more. I'll treat your head wound, and then you'll come with us to the hospital."

"You always stick to the rules," the boy leaned forward slightly to find her name tag on her chest. "Melissa Nash?"

"I make sure that each of my patients receives the best possible care," she replied, carefully dressing the bleeding wound on his forehead. She worked efficiently and quickly, and above all, flawlessly. It was clear that not only was she good at it, but she also did it with passion and heart, as if she knew perfectly well that this was her calling. "Will you tell me exactly what happened?"

Talking to patients while treating them was standard practice. Not only because such conversation could help them in providing first aid, but also because it helped to distract patients from any pain and what the rescuers were doing to them. Patients were always the most frightened, and conversation calmed them down a little.

"He attacked first," he grimaced and nodded at the boy on the other side. Lissie turned in that direction for just a moment and saw that the other victim was already talking to the police and was extremely upset. He looked as if he was about to lunge at them, shouting that he was innocent and that he was only defending himself against a madman. "I didn't do anything to him, but I guess that's my luck for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. And I just wanted to relax after a difficult conversation with my cousin."

"Life would be too simple if we could predict what would happen."

"There's a philosophy in that."

And Lissie laughed briefly despite everything, which made Austin look at her with amusement.

A FEW DAYS LATER, SHE WATCHED AS IAN HIT ON SOME TALL BLOND GUY. Whatever he did and said, it obviously worked, because the guy was completely charmed by him. Chloe, who was on duty that evening, just sent her a text message to let her know when they got home. Lissie sometimes wondered if she had taken on the role of Rosie, who was always worried about them.

"I met someone," Ian said as soon as he returned to their table.

"You can't hide it," she laughed, sipping her mocktail. She glanced at the bar, where the guy Ian had been flirting with was leaning against the counter, watching them with a dreamy smile. Or rather, watching Ian, because after all, he was the one who had picked him up. "Who's your charming blond guy, huh?"

"His name is Henry, and I think he wants to fuck me tonight."

Lissie snorted and pressed her hand to her mouth.

"And I think you want to fuck him, too."

Ian smiled broadly and carefree.

"Can you read minds or something? Because you just said what I wanted to say to you."

"Just like this: My dear Lissie, can you go home alone, because I'm going to miss out on fucking tonight?"

"First of all," Ian pointed at her, "I don't talk like that. And second, I wouldn't leave you alone. Henry and I will drive you home, and then I'll go to his place. It's a good deal."

Nash shook her head, her short curls bouncing energetically. She put down her empty drink glass and looked at her friend.

"And I'm supposed to be traumatized for the rest of my life by watching you make out with him? No, thank you," she raised her hands. "Go to him and don't worry about me. The apartment isn't far. I'll take an Uber and go home by myself."

"I'm not sure if that's a good idea," Ian raised an eyebrow, though out of the corner of his eye he glanced back at the bar and the guy waiting for him. "I promised I'd take care of you."

"Come on, I'm a big girl." She rolled her eyes. "Go have fun, but when you come back, don't try to wake me up."

"Text me as soon as you get home," he kissed her on the cheek. "I'll answer, even if I'm completely naked."

"Did you tell me that so I could imagine something now?"

"You've already seen every inch of this sexy body anyway," Garcia pointed to his muscular body, and she couldn't disagree with him.

Ian said goodbye to her, and she watched him return to his new conquest for a moment. When Henry waved at her, she waved back, and then she started to get ready to leave. She was glad that Ian had found entertainment for the night, but she didn't take it seriously. Garcia and serious relationships weren't a thing. However, she felt a slight pang of jealousy because at least he wouldn't be spending the night alone like she was.

She was already at the entrance when, somehow, she heard someone calling her. When she turned around, she saw the same boy she had treated after the fight in the bar standing in front of her. There were a few bandages left on the wound on his forehead to help it heal, and there was almost no sign of how they had met for the first time.

"You're the paramedic," he pointed at her with his drink. "Melissa Nash. You saved me that night."

"I was just doing my job; it's no big deal," she smiled, looking at her phone to see how many minutes until her Uber arrived.

"I knew it was you," he replied, not taking his eyes off her. "Can I buy you a drink? As a thank you for probably saving my life. The hospital confirmed that I had a minor concussion, but they just told me not to overexert myself."

Lissie refrained from raising her eyebrows, because spending the evening in a bar with loud music and alcohol was far from not overexerting herself.

"You don't have to thank me for anything..."

"Come on, don't make me beg," he smiled innocently at her. "One drink," he raised his finger, demonstrating that he really meant just one drink. "The taxi won't run away."

In every similar situation, she always refused. She never mixed business with pleasure, and that should have stopped her, but this time it was different. The sight of Ian amused made her long for something she had never really had. It wasn't about casual sex, which was Garcia's favorite hobby, but about simply meeting new people, which had been extremely difficult for her lately.

"Okay," she finally agreed, checking that her Uber had been canceled anyway and she would have to wait another fifteen minutes for the next one. "Just one drink."

"I promise with my hand on my heart," he put his hand on his chest. "One drink that will make your whole night better."

Austin led her to the bar where she had seen Ian and Henry a moment earlier, and then ordered her one of the non-alcoholic drinks. He raised his glass, handing her his own drink.

"To my heroine," they clinked glasses, and each took a sip.

Lissie put her glass down on the table and shook her head in amusement, still finding the situation unnatural for her. However, Haywood was quite friendly, and it was nice to talk to someone other than the guys from the unit, especially when he occasionally slipped in his "pretty," which had previously irritated her but now even amused her. He talked about his studies and, in return, wanted to know more about her work in the fire department.

Everything seemed fine until she started to feel strange. Suddenly, her head spun and her vision blurred for a moment. She tried to blame it on fatigue – after all, she had been working long and difficult shifts for the past few days – but she knew herself and, above all, her body.

"Hey, are you okay?" Austin leaned over her, his hand resting on her back. Lissie tried to pull away from him, but only staggered in her chair, and if he hadn't caught her by the waist, she would have fallen out of it. "I think you've had a little too much to drink... I'll walk you out."

"No..." She shook her head, because she knew perfectly well that she hadn't been drinking alcohol. Neither fatigue nor a simple mocktail could have affected her that much. Unless...

It was too late, because Lissie slid off her chair and lost all control of her body. Her legs refused to obey her, and the world around her turned into a kaleidoscope of lights and insistent sounds, which together made her feel sick. The faces of the people in the bar blurred into two or more, and when Austin grabbed her arm and led her carefully across the bar, no one paid any attention. To everyone in the bar, they looked almost like a couple in love.

When they got outside, the cool air hit her face, but it didn't help at all. She tried to spot the Uber that was supposed to take her home, but all she could see was the parking lot and the black car Austin was opening the door to.

"No..." She tried to get up from the passenger seat, but he pushed her back inside, causing her to lose her balance completely. "What... are you doing? Where... where... is Ian?"

"Calm down, pretty," he said, but this time his voice sounded different. His lips were so close to her that she could feel his breath on her cheek. "I'll take care of you as long as you don't fight. Otherwise, it might get hurt."

It all seemed like a dream to her. She knew he was taking her somewhere – she had no idea where. When they got out, she didn't recognize the area, but that wasn't unusual because Chicago was a big city, and even though she worked for the fire department, they were assigned to one area.

Contrary to what she remembered him saying in the car, she fought back – with her last ounce of strength, half-conscious, but she did it. However, she was too weak and her movements too uncoordinated to simply defend herself. At one point, she felt a pain that shot through her entire face, and then something wrapped around her wrists and feet. She felt a touch on her body – piercing and foreign, the kind she never wanted to feel. A shiver ran down her spine, but even when she was completely deprived of any form of escape, she tried to fight. She didn't give up, and it seemed that this only encouraged Austin to do what he was doing. He whispered various words to her, which he thought would comfort and calm her, but all she felt was fear.

Her heart beat faster when she felt his body on top of her. Then, as he touched her and clenched his fingers on every possible part of her body, as if the touch itself would bring her pleasure. It only brought pain, because it was something that neither she nor her body consented to. She wanted to scream, but her voice stuck in her throat. For a moment, it seemed to her that her eyesight had finally caught a clearer image – the light she was trying to hold on to, like a last hope – as she felt herself falling apart into tiny pieces against her will.

She was slowly losing consciousness, and even the light she had seen was no longer able to keep her fully awake. She was trapped with no way to escape. But maybe it was better this way. If she fell asleep now, it would all turn out to be just a bad dream, and she would finally stop feeling the pain in her body.

When the image before her eyes completely blurred and darkness engulfed her, she wanted to believe that she would wake up in her own bed in the morning.

WHEN SHE OPENED HER EYES, THE WORLD SEEMED TO BE SPINNING. The air smelled of cigarettes and cheap cleaning products. She felt a metallic taste in her mouth, and when she moved her fingers to her lips, she hissed briefly in pain. At first, she couldn't understand where she was – she didn't know this place; it wasn't her room in Suzanna's apartment, nor was it any of the work bedrooms in the unit. She also had no idea what had actually happened, but then... As the sun began to shine through the window into the room, she began to remember everything. The touch, the voice, the pain...

Tears welled up in her eyes as she slowly realized what had happened. She could try to deny it, but the facts were clear. Her heart was beating wildly, pounding against her ribs and ringing in her ears... She felt like she was about to faint, but she couldn't let that happen. Austin could return at any moment, and she knew she couldn't go through the same thing a second time.

She sat up, but quickly grabbed her ribs, feeling a sharp pain throughout her body. She adjusted her torn shirt, zipped up her pants, but couldn't see her purse anywhere. She got up from the old mattress and knew she had to get out of there as soon as possible. She needed air. She needed to go home and hear that it was all just a nightmare, that everything was fine...

But how could it be?

When she stumbled outside, she could barely stand upright. She held her shirt to preserve at least a shred of dignity; her hair was completely tangled... She must have looked terrible, but all she could think about now was moving forward. As quickly as possible, as far away as possible from the place where it all happened.

She had no idea how she got to the street where the fire station she worked at was located. The large number 33 glistened in the sun and was almost like the salvation she needed right now. Finally, she felt that there was a place that could at least give her the illusion that she was safe.

Her hands trembled as she opened the side door. The smell of gasoline and coffee immediately reached her nostrils, and she paused for a moment. She didn't know what to do next... Go to the kitchen, where there was always someone there, or maybe hide in the bedroom, take a shower, and pretend nothing had happened?

"Liss?" Chloe spoke from behind her. When Nash turned toward her, she saw her friend in their everyday uniform. The firefighter was tired after an all-night shift, holding a cup of coffee in her hand, which stopped halfway to her mouth as she looked more closely at Lissa.

Chloe looked at Nash and didn't know what was more disturbing – her rumpled clothes, her pale skin, or the signs of beating that were becoming more and more visible.

"Oh my God..." Fontaine dropped her coffee and immediately moved toward Lissie, but stopped when she backed away.

"No..." Lissie shook her head. "Don't touch me..."

Chloe raised her hands and took a step back, giving the other girl some space.

"I won't do anything without your consent," she said gently. "I won't touch you. I promise."

Lissie looked at her, and then something inside her snapped. She began to sob, which drew the attention of the other firefighters on duty. Chloe waved them away, not wanting Nash to feel even more cornered. Lissie slid down the wall and buried her face in her hands.

Fontaine knelt beside her, but far enough away to give her the space she needed.

"You're safe here," she whispered calmly, even though she still had no idea what had happened and was afraid to even ask. "No one will hurt you here... I know you don't want to talk about it, but you have to tell me what happened so I can help you."

She couldn't answer, and only more hysterical sobs came out of her throat.

"I'll help you up, okay?" Chloe instructed her exactly what she was going to do. "We'll move you to a more comfortable place."

Lissie just nodded. Chloe called over two other female firefighters who were also on duty that night, and the three of them helped carry her to the kitchen, where all conversation stopped at once. Someone put a blanket over her shoulders to cover her exposed body, and someone else handed her water to drink. In the chaos that ensued, their captain came out of his office, and Chloe exchanged a meaningful glance with him, making it clear that the situation was much more serious than everyone thought.

"I'll notify the police," Captain Cruz said, addressing Chloe directly. "You call Ian. He'll want to know what happened."

"Shouldn't we ask Lissie for her consent?" Chloe asked, glancing over her shoulder at Lissie, who was still crying and hadn't uttered a single word. "If she doesn't want to testify..."

"It will be her decision, but we have to notify the police. She's one of my best paramedics, Fontaine. As their boss, you should know that better than anyone."

THE SERGEANT WHO ARRIVED IN RESPONSE TO THE CALL WAS AN ACQUAINTANCE OF THE UNIT CAPTAIN. It was clear that Lissie would be treated with appropriate caution, as far as that was possible in such a situation. By the time the police officer arrived, Lissie had managed to calm down enough to answer every question and try to recount what she remembered in detail. It wasn't much, and her memories were blurred, but she could tell exactly who the perpetrator was. She thought she was stupid... Stupid and damn naive, because from the very beginning her body told her that something was wrong with him. She drowned out those doubts because, after all, she wanted happiness in love to smile on her too.

However, gathering testimony wasn't the worst part, because she had to undergo a medical examination. The trip to the hospital seemed to take forever, and when they took her to one of the rooms and she sat there completely alone, the memories came back to her with double the force. Lissie tried to close her eyes, hoping that it would help her ward off the bad thoughts, but it only made the whole situation worse, because she could see Haywood's face in almost every detail, how he lay on top of her, how he touched her... It was practically as if her brain was playing some horrible movie that she couldn't turn off in any way.

It was her fault. She had given her statement, but that still didn't change the fact that she was to blame. If she had left the bar right after Ian... If she hadn't started talking to Haywood and agreed to have that drink...

If she had fought harder...

The door to the room opened, and a doctor and nurse entered. The doctor explained everything that was going to happen, and she could only nod to show that she understood. It all seemed unreal to her, as if what was happening had nothing to do with her at all.

The nurse approached her with a pad and a form to fill out.

"If you consent to the examination, you must sign the form," she explained calmly and empathetically. Lissie just nodded, but quickly realized that she did indeed have to sign the document, which she finally did. "We will ask for your consent at every stage of the examination."

"Is that necessary?"

"You have been deprived of control, and we want to give it back to you."

Lissie hugged herself and allowed the women to perform the examination.

"We will work together throughout," said the doctor, putting on gloves. "If something is wrong, you want to stop the examination, or you need a moment, all you have to do is tell us."

"I understand," she replied in a trembling voice, then looked at her injured wrists. And something changed in her. "I want to do this. I'm ready."

Although she wasn't, the longer she delayed, the worse she felt it would be.

The first stage of the examination was to secure her clothing. Lissie didn't know if she was more grateful that she could get rid of them or that she was about to be completely robbed of whatever dignity she had left. When she changed into a hospital gown, she didn't feel like she was regaining control of what was happening. She had lost it at the most important moment, so the fact that she now had it back meant nothing.

Later, samples were taken from under her fingernails and DNA from her skin, photos were taken of her injuries, and blood and hair samples were taken. The doctor told her she was brave, but she didn't feel that way at all. Something in her had changed, broken... Her body, which until now had belonged to her and she knew every little part of, no longer belonged to her.

Finally, the examination was over. The nurse left clean clothes on the chair next to her – a tracksuit with the fire department number, which Chloe apparently had to give them. She put them on, and when she stepped out into the hallway, she immediately saw Ian and Suzanna there. They looked at her with pain, concern, and that damn sympathy she feared so much.

"Honey..." Suzanna approached her, and Lissie allowed her to hug her. "It's not your fault. Nothing that happened is your fault, and I'll make sure he pays for everything he did to you."

"I just want to go home," she muttered, completely exhausted. "And please don't call Dad. I don't want him to know about this yet. Neither does Rosie."

WHEN THEY ARRIVED AT THE APARTMENT, CHLOE WAS STANDING AT THE DOOR. No one had to say anything, because it was clear that Fontaine had come straight after her shift to support her close friend. Suzanna opened the door for them, and Lissie went straight to her room without saying a word. She lay down on her bed and finally, without resistance, began to cry. She was finally home... But nothing was the same as when she had left the day before.

Ian was the first to arrive. He slipped into her room almost silently and lay down next to her. He didn't hug her right away, but when she reached out her hand to him, he quickly pulled her close. He kissed her on the top of her head, wanting to make all the pain go away, but he couldn't forgive himself for causing it. He had no idea how he would be able to look Rosie in the eye later, and especially Bobby, because he knew he had let them down. He was supposed to take care of Lissie and make sure nothing happened to her. Instead, she had to go through such a tragedy.

Later, Chloe joined them, laying an air mattress on the floor and lying down on her side so she could keep an eye on Lissie. She was exhausted after her shift and what had happened that morning, but she fought it because she wanted to be alert at all times in case Nash needed her help.

Suzanna was the last to arrive. She brought a tray with drinks and snacks, which she placed on the desk. She reached for a blanket, which she covered Lissie and Ian with, and finally sat down in an armchair herself. She looked at her niece, clenching her fingers tightly in anger at the fabric of the furniture. Something like this should never have happened, so Suzanna vowed to herself that she would find the person who had hurt her Sunshine so badly and make them suffer twice as much.

2018

AUSTIN HAD DISAPPEARED, AND SHE COULDN'T RETURN TO WORK AT THE UNIT. Haywood took more than just her dignity – he took away her love for her job, her desire to save others simply because she was capable of doing so, and, above all, her will to live. Captain Cruz was understanding, not only allowing her extended medical leave, but even offering to find her a desk job or help her find work elsewhere if she decided to leave active duty. Lissie considered various options and ended up in the dispatch room. She could still help people, but at least she didn't have to have direct contact with them.

The police and Suzanna were investigating, and her aunt was really determined to get to the bottom of it. On the one hand, she was glad that someone was fighting on her behalf, but on the other, she just wanted to close this chapter behind her. That's why she hadn't said anything to her father or Rosie yet, and she asked her loved ones to do the same. Suzanna and Ian weren't happy about it. Garcia even told her that she should do it because she deserved to have the support of the people who loved her so much. And there was a moment or two when she was close to telling them what had happened, but then... she chickened out.

Not a word could pass her lips, until she finally decided it was better that way.

That day, she carried on with her shift in the dispatch room as usual. She answered calls much more efficiently than she had before. Somehow, she managed to adapt to her new lifestyle, and although it didn't give her as much satisfaction as being in the fire department, it was enough for her. She didn't expect much from life anymore. She just wanted to somehow... survive.

She was on a short break when she saw Suzanna trying to call her for the umpteenth time.

"What's wrong?" she asked, answering the call.

"They found him," she said immediately. "Haywood is in police custody. He was in hiding, but they finally got him."

Lissie felt her heart stop for a moment. She had hoped that the day she heard those words would bring her peace, but that was not the case.

"What now?"

"Trial. The evidence they found on him is irrefutable. He'll try to wriggle out of it, but no judge will believe him. Lissie, you need to know that..." Suzanna paused for a moment, as if wondering whether she should actually tell her niece what she had learned.

"What do I need to know?" she asked quickly, moving to a quieter place where no one could hear her conversation with her aunt.

Suzanna sighed heavily.

"You weren't his only victim, and... That bastard recorded everything every time. That's why no one will question your testimony."

Lissie couldn't respond. She was too shocked by what she had heard. Not only had he taken her dignity, but he had also recorded it all... Why? As a trophy of what he had done? She was furious that anyone could have come up with such an idea and that she had to be on that recording. Suzanna didn't say it outright, but if he recorded each of his victims, it was clear that he must have recorded her too.

"I want to see that video."

"I don't know if that's a good idea..."

"I'm not asking you as my aunt, but as a lawyer," she said firmly. "I want to see it. Can you arrange that?"

"I can, but Lissie..."

"Okay," she interrupted quickly. "Let me know where and when I can watch it."

THAT SAME EVENING, SUZANNA BROUGHT HOME A COPY OF THE RECORDING. Ian was on shift, so it was just the two of them. Suzanna still didn't think it was the best idea, but Lissie had to see what he had done with her own eyes. Her memory was playing tricks on her, and she no longer knew if everything she had been dreaming about every night had actually happened or if her mind was just sending her additional events.

She watched the entire recording with difficulty. She was torn by extreme emotions, but she decided that it would not break her. This was not to be his triumph, but proof for her of what he had done to her, which she could use in court. She was determined to see this case through to the end.

"For how long could he go to prison for?" she asked Suzanna when the recording was turned off and her aunt removed the flash drive from the laptop.

"From a few to several dozen years," replied Suzanna. "He won't just be tried for assaulting you, but also for battery, recording you without your consent, giving you drugs... And there will be a few other charges."

"How?"

"I'm a damn good lawyer, Liss. And I'll make sure that son of a bitch doesn't get out of prison."

Suzanna kept her promise, because Haywood was sentenced to thirty-five years in prison. Her aunt explained to her that it was one of the highest sentences he could have received and that the prosecutor who represented her had requested exactly that sentence. Admittedly, the judge who presided over the trial was exceptionally empathetic, but even that couldn't help her when she had to recount everything she remembered from that evening in front of the entire jury. Suzanna had prepared her thoroughly for this moment, and she said nothing she wasn't sure of, only the facts. However, the recording and the fact that she was not his victim, who ultimately agreed to testify at the trial, were the nail in his coffin.

Lissie finally felt she could breathe a sigh of relief. Nothing would ever be the same as it was before what happened, but her heart was filled with a sense of calm. There was no chance that Haywood would unexpectedly reappear in her life, and she decided that he would no longer influence her future. He had taken something from her that she could never get back, but she wanted to learn to live in a new way. Therapy helped her immensely, but there were also worse days when she was haunted by thoughts that none of it made any sense and that it would be much better if it all ended...

She was terrified by these thoughts because she had never thought about her own death before. She was actually afraid of it... But death also meant that she could see her deceased family again. However, she was too weak – or strong, as her therapist told her – to actually do anything to herself.

Despite this, she wasn't herself. She felt it, and Ian, Suzanna, and Chloe could see it.

"Maybe you should leave Chicago?" Garcia suggested it one day when the three of them were spending the evening at Fontaine's apartment with Chloe. Going out on the town was out of the question, even though Haywood had been in prison for several months.

"Where to?"

Lissie looked at her friend over her cup of hot tea.

"Los Angeles," Chloe replied. "Rosie and your father are there, right? You could start over."

"And tell them what happened," Ian added, and Nash rolled her eyes. "You know you'll have to tell them eventually."

"I will, someday, but I don't want to talk about it today."

"Seriously," Chloe interjected quickly, "Los Angeles sounds awesome. The ocean, the beach, the sun... Drinks with little umbrellas. What more could you want? And you'd have Rosie and little Marrie close by, although she's probably not so little anymore."

"When you say it like that, it sounds so easy..."

"Because it is."

Lissie shook her head.

"What about my job?"

"Talk to your boss. I'm sure she can arrange a transfer to Los Angeles for you," Ian replied.

"What about you?"

"I'll have Suzanna, who's been fed up with me for a long time, so she'll be happy to be stuck with just me."

Nash laughed briefly, and it was the closest thing to the laughter that used to accompany her. Everyone knew it, and she knew it best. She could start treatment, and it might work, but she would probably never feel like herself again.

"My aunt adores you. She won't do anything to you."

"She loves being my nightmare. Seriously, it's almost as if she loves and hates me at the same time."

"As they say, there's a fine line between love and hate."

Lissie and Chloe exchanged a brief glance, and it was clear that they were both thinking the same thing – the conversation that seemed so distant, but had taken place on the same evening that she had luckily met Haywood for the first time.

ROSIE WAS EXCITED ABOUT LISSIE MOVING TO LOS ANGELES. Her father didn't know anything about it yet, and she decided to keep it that way until she visited his unit and surprised him. She was apprehensive about this meeting after all these years and what might come of it, but at the same time she missed him and wanted to see him anyway.

Chloe and Ian organized a farewell party for her at the fire station, attended by everyone she actually wanted to say goodbye to. A banner with the slogan "Good luck, Lissie, in LA" was hung above the fire trucks, and food and drinks were laid out on the tables. It was a nice gesture, and she was surprised that their captain had agreed to it at all, especially since she hadn't even been part of the crew for several months. However, for a long time, this unit had become a substitute family for her. Everyone accepted her for who she was, and above all, they helped and supported her when she needed it most.

The evening was spent reminiscing and talking, and even though Lissie was sure of her decision and knew that she could no longer find her place in Chicago, she felt a weight on her heart. She realized that she was actually saying goodbye to this place, and it was certain that it was forever, because she saw no possibility of returning here, even for a visit.

Maybe in a way she was running away from this city and from what had happened, but she believed that in Los Angeles, she would be able to simply forget about it.

She was ready to move and for new experiences.

And there was no shortage of those from the very beginning, when she landed at LAX, where she had to spend the next few days due to an earthquake that had struck the city.