18. I understand more now

CARA

I woke up on the couch in my own apartment. My face felt so dry, like a dried surface. I realized I had cried. I looked around and saw Kendall. My head was lying in her lap apparently. I looked up at her and she smiled to me. I got lost in her eyes. I don't even remember what happened.

"Was everything a dream?" I said and realized my throat also was dry.

She just chuckled and shook her head.

"Can I give you anything? A banana maybe?" she asked while she stroke my hair softly.

"You can give me a kiss," I joked.

But apparently she didn't get that I was joking. She leaned down and our lips almost touched. I got panic and quickly said:

"I was joking!" I turned my head so her kiss landed on my cheek.

"Hey!" she said and softly hit my arm while she chuckled.

"Sorry. I just wanted to be more prepared when I kiss you..." I blushed.

I sat up and looked at her. She stood up and sat in my lap. We were so close.

"Are you ready now?" she asked sweetly and held my face in her soft hands.

"Never been more ready," I smiled.

She pulled my head gently against her own, and our lips met. We didn't move them at first, but then I couldn't hold it in any longer. I closed my eyes and kissed her. The butterflies in my stomach came back to life and flew around. It tickled so bittersweet.

She moved her lips in sync with mine. It was like out lips were meant to kiss each other. I leaned my head to the right to get better access. I put my arms around her neck and her hands were going up and down my back. 

I felt her smile on my lips, and I couldn't help but smile too. And it wasn't so easy to kiss someone when you are smiling, so I pulled away.

I opened my eyes and saw that Kendall still had her eyes closed. I quickly kissed her again, but this time more passionately. I pushed her back so I was straddling her on the couch. 

I pulled away to breathe. I gave her a peck and sat up again.

"Kendall," I said.

"Yeah?"

I looked her in the eyes and and put my forehead against her forehead. I held her hands.

"Live in my house, I'll be your shelter. Just pay me back, with one thousand kisses. Be my lover, I'll cover you," I jokingly sang

"Open your door, I'll be your tenant. Don't got much baggage to lay at your feet. But sweet kisses I've got to spare. I'll be there and I'll cover you," she sang back.

I smiled and kissed her again.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" she suddenly asked.

"Sure," I said with a smile.

She just laughed.

"You really are Cara."

"Of course I am."

We watched a movie until I realized something and broke the silence.

"But you're still together with Harry?"

"What?" she asked confused by the sudden question.

"Yeah." 

"Well, yes but I can just break up with him."

"And one more thing, why did you smoke? I was really worried about you," I asked.

"I didn't feel so good. You probably know, I mean, you smoke."

"Yeah. Are you smoking everyday?" I asked concerned.

"Yes. But I'll stop, don't worry," she assured me.

I nodded. But I wanted to say something more to her. But I was afraid Harry would hurt her then. Maybe I'll explain what actually happened after she have broken up with him.

"But Cara," she suddenly said. "Who was this man who were making you feel like you were nothing?"

"Um... My ex. He said stuff like that to me everyday, and I believed it in the end," I explained.

"That is so sad. I will tell you everyday how much I love you and how much I need you." she said and kissed me.

After the movie, we decided to go to bed. It had been an exhausting day for us both. Kendall called Harry and told him she was gonna sleep over at a friends place, but she didn't say who which I was grateful for. She just doesn't know how dangerous Harry is.

We just laid in bed and talked. I got to know everything about her family, and she got to hear everything about my ex. Everything kind of fell in their places after that. Why she was so nice to everyone. It was because she didn't want anyone else to experience the same thing she had. That was why she was so worried that I had eating disorders. 

And she started to understand why I couldn't take a compliment. 

I was so happy. She was my girlfriend. Kendall Jenner was MY girlfriend!! I always told myself I was straight even if I deep down knew that I had feelings for Kendall. And look, now my dream is my reality. I'm happy everytime she smiles to me, and sad everytime she cries. She is a part of me now, and I hope she always will be.

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