seven

"She's a strong one, both in and out."

You were in quite a mess of thoughts until you lost track of time. Panicked, you quickly rushed to the training ground. When you arrived, you noticed Levi standing there. You were sure you were going to get yelled at. And this time, you won't have the power to retort something back to him. 

You were getting yourself mentally prepared to get shouted at but when you reached him, he only greeted you with a nod. You were shocked, to be honest. Even when you were younger and he was teaching you to fight, Levi would lecture you for being late or irresponsible. 

And from the way his squad members described his training sessions to you, you were definitely sure that he would be displeased. But instead, what you saw written on his face was nothing close to displeasure or anything of the sort. Slightly suspicious, you eyed him while taking ODM gear to be put on. 

You latched the gear to their respective places, your fingers going to tighten them one by one. Levi approached you from behind, helping to tighten the area behind your shoulder which was hard to reach, but not impossible. And since you were used to ODM gear, there was no need for him to help you. 

Even he knew that. 

Yet there he stood, his chest so close to your back. The warmth radiated from his breath tingled against the skin of your neck, the sensation somewhat a nice contrast to the cool night air that surrounded you two. 

"Thanks," you lightly uttered. 

Once he explained the path for the night's training, you initiated your gear, taking off into the night sky. Levi followed, swinging occasionally to catch up with your journey. He'd stop on tree branches to oversee and examine your cuts on the Titan dummies. 

Unsurprisingly, they all cut deep considering the speed that you're going. Levi watched your movements in the air, noticing how you minimalized movements to save gas. And he couldn't help but admire your graceful movements even as you flew in the air. 

Your silhouette against the moon was every bit breathtaking as you were. Not even the stars and sky could compare to your beauty, according to Levi. Once the night was getting older and it was time to stop, you went back to the training ground, landing just a second after Levi did. 

You sighed, slightly tired. You ran your fingers through your hair, making sure the loose strands weren't in the way of your face because that was annoying. 

"Am I dismissed, Captain?" You asked, taking off your gear without so much so as looking at him. 

"Actually, before you go," Levi spoke lowly. 

'Oh no, he wants to talk,' you thought, hoping for the opposite. 

"I want to talk to you," he continued. 

'Well, fuck,' you thought. 

"Are you coming to me as my superior?"

"I'm coming to you as your par-" he paused to correct himself despite the pain he felt of having to do that. "I just need to talk to you. You've been avoiding me."

"If it's not for official matters then I'd ask for you to dismiss me, Captain," you calmly let out. "I'd like to get a small supper before going to sleep." 

"Y/N," he sternly called. 

"What?" You let out, a slight hint of annoyance there. 

"This mission," he began, voice low next to you. "It's dangerous."

"I'm aware and I don't think I was given much of a choice to begin with," you sassed, trying your best to avoid his eyes because the last time you looked straight into his eyes, you almost let him kiss you. 

"Could you please just listen?" He sighed. 

"If you're not here as my superior then I have no interest nor care in anything you have to say to me, Levi," you harshly let out. 

Levi exhaled sharply. He didn't want to use his power as the Captain to make you talk to him. If anything, that would only anger you more. And the last thing he wanted was for you to hate him more than you already do. 

He didn't what else to do. 

It was so clear that you had so much pent-up anger, and bitterness flowing through you because you didn't know how to let them go. And Levi wanted to know everything you were feeling. He wanted to be there for you through every overwhelming emotion that you held. He wanted to hold your hand, comfort you, be with you. 

But how could he achieve that if he couldn't even find the right words to say to you? 

"Fight me," he suddenly spoke, a tone so low you could barely hear it had it not been for the fact that he was whispering exactly next to your ear. 

Your eyes widened at such a request. You didn't want to fight him. Or did you? You didn't even know what you wanted at that point anymore. Everything was so confusing. Your feelings were overwhelming. Did you want to fight Levi? Would it make you feel better? You didn't think so. 

"I'm not going to fight you," you scoffed plainly. 

"You hate me, don't you?" He let out, taking a step back as he let his arms out a little as an indication of welcome. "Then fight me," he blankly said. "Fight me and tell me why you hate me so much."

"What?" You frowned, honestly confused by how it got to this. "This is stupid," you rolled your eyes. 

"No, it's not," he coldly said. "Go on," he let out through gritted teeth, his hand slightly tugging onto your sleeve, the force pulling you forward. 

"What the fuck, Levi?!" You harshly pulled away, noticing how serious he was. 

"Faster, let's just get this over with," he said again, voice just as dark as before. "Hit me with all you have," he whispered, somewhat comfortingly amidst the heavy darkness that laid his tone. "And tell me why you hate me," he lowly uttered next to your ear, fingers brushing off your hair.

You stayed silent. The moonlight shone through the gaps between the trees, lighting up the shine in Levi's grey eyes. He looked so beautiful in your eyes but you couldn't let yourself think that again. 

You let yourself wander in his eyes, though. An involuntary response of yours. There was nothing to be done about that. You then looked down to the ground, your fists clenched and ready by your sides. 

"I hate you because you saved me," you let out quietly, eyes still down while your fists moved in a gentle punch to Levi's chest. "I hate you because you kept me by your side," you added, voice louder but still quiet as you punched him again. "I hate you because you taught me how to live," another punch, voice louder. "I hate you because you became my reason to live," you were beginning to sob as your punches were getting harder. "I hate you because you loved me," you cried, your fists punching him harder and harder. "I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" You cried loudly, pushing him with so much anger. "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE THAT DAY?! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME IN THAT ALLEY?! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST HATE ME LIKE YOU HATE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING?!" 

Your cries were getting louder. You kept your fists tight as you punched him, adding more force to the next punch. You were letting it all out. Everything you've been keeping, you were letting them out. But you were hurting him. And he wasn't even fighting back. He was just letting you hurt him like this. 

"YOU LEFT ME! YOU LEFT ME ALONE!" You sobbed, tears staining the ground. "I HATE YOU FOR THAT! I HATE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT YOU STILL FUCKING LEFT!" You were hitting him profusely, your complexion painted by tears. "FIGHT BACK, LEVI! FUCKING FIGHT BACK!" You angrily let out, tears-filled eyes looking into his distraught ones. 

"I'm not going to fight you, my love," he whispered, shaking his head when you kept repeating those words while heavy punches kept meeting his chest. 

"I hate you!" You let out through gritted teeth. 

"I know," he whispered softly. 

"I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" You sobbed, your punches weakening. 

"I know," he repeated, comfort running through his pain. 

Your forearms rested against his chest. You were too tired at this point. You let your head connect with his chest, your gaze to the ground but your vision was blurry from the tears that flooded your waterline. You just cried, feeling Levi's arms creep up behind you. 

Slowly, he pulled you closer into his chest. You let yourself melt under his arms, the feeling of comfort easily warming you up with his embrace. 

"I hate that I still want you," you cried softly, your voice muffled against his chest. "I hate that I still love you," you sobbed, letting him hug you. "I hate that I can't stop."

Levi stroked your hair, an assurance that he was there. And this time, he won't ever leave you again. He let you cry into his chest, his lips resting softly in a peck on the top of your head. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered, not ignoring how you grabbed onto the fabric of his shirt to pull him closer. "I won't ever leave you again, I ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ you," he softly let out. "This time, I'm keeping that ᴘʀᴏᴍɪꜱᴇ, my love," he cooed gently.