Chapter 6

I was really happy when I finally get to know him better, he made my life vibrant again, wasn't treating me like others, and that's what i thought.

Pictures ruined everything between me and him, it shatters our friendship.

I didn't see him yesterday at cafetaria, and wondering where was he? Right after that, Mikochi told me that she saw Y/N-san on his way to the rooftop. What is he doing up there?

I ditch my friends that were eating lunch at the moment, and headed to the rooftop.

As i finally reached the rooftop, the wind rushed past me, but the usual calm of the place didn't soothe the unease in my heart.

There he was, standing next to the railing, staring at the horizon. I was hesitated to call him.

"There you are." I said. "What are you doing up here?"

"How'd you find me?" He replied.

"People talk, no, i'm kidding." I tried to break the awkwardness between us. "Mikochi told me. That she found you walking to the rooftop."

He doesn't say anything...

"So? What's going on with you?" I take a step closer towards him.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been different this mornning, and yesterday too." I asked, my voice concerned.

"Have you seen this?" He showed me a picture...of us? What's wrong with it? "Who took these?"

"Oh, those." I replied. "I don't know, why?"

"It's all over the school." He raised his voice. "I'm worried about you. Your reputation, your image even your heal—"

It's just a pictures, why does he even care about that?

"Then?" I asked. "I've told you that i don't care about any of that."

"But, whats going on with you?" I continued. "It feels like you're avoiding me."

"Sui-chan." He spoke, his voice sound heavy. "I'm afraid that because of me, people will talk bad stuffs about you, ruining your images and everything."

How many times i've told him that i don't care about any of that? I just wanted to spend time and have fun with him. Since he's the one who made my life vibrant again.

"I thought you were different." I spoke to him as my voice gradually became unclear. "Turn out you were the same." All this time, when we started to get close with each other, what was he think of me?

I thought of you as someone who could understand me..."Huh? No...that's not what i mean—" Right before he finish his sentence i cut him off.

"Don't make excuse. I'm so tired of people thinking they know what's best for me. I've been doing everything to keep things balanced, and you? You think I care about those stupid pictures?" My voice became unclear as tears started to flow from my eyes. "No, I don't!"

It's just a picture...please...why it ruin everything between us...

You were the one that understands me.

"I've been trying to show you, that I'm not just about this school idol bullcrap! And you were the one that could understand that!" Tears fall from my eyes. "But you ruined everything now. You don't even see me anymore!"

He doesn't speak anymore as i finish my sentence, he just stood there, frozen. The silent between us gradually became tense.

"I....i'm sorry." Words come out from his mouth, it felt distant and sound like a whisper. "I never thought you'd see me as someone who only care about what others thought." His apology felt hollow, distant and empty. My heart clenched painfully in my chest.

"You're the one who made me feel this way." I whisper, wiping tears. "You're the one who do this to us."

It was really hard and tough,  but i think it's what he wants. "If you want it to be this way, i would accept it." My voice weak with tears. "Let's forget everything...between us." As i walked off from the rooftop, i wiped every bit of my tears that fall from my eyes.

My heart felt like it was breaking apart with every steps i took, but i forced myself to keep moving. My hands shook as i wiped my face, even though i tell myself I wouldn't cry anymore.

I had told him over and over again, that i do not care about what others think. That all the stupid gossips and talks does not matter to me. But, he didn't believe me.

Just as I thought we could be more than friends.

I knew he was different. When we first started talking, he didn't see me as the "School Idol" but as Suisei a normal school girl.

Later I found myself sitting on a bench in the School's Backyard, burying my face with the palm of my hands. I didn't want anyone to see me like this.

"You guys are unbelievable." A familiar voice struck me. It was, Mikochi. "What happened up there?"

I took a deep breath. "I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled, my voice muffled by my palms.

"You don't have to tell me, Sui-chan." Her voice softened as she sat next to me. "But, it's obvious somethings not right between you two. I saw you run from the Cafetaria after i mentioned he was on his way to the rooftop. I thought it was just a missunderstanding, but it seems heavier."

"You know, i've told him many times that i don't care what people thinks." I spoke, my heart still beating fast. "But, he doesn't get it. It's like he's afraid of ruining everything by being close to me."

Mikochi heard everything from me, i talk to her for hours, skipping classes and everything.

She suggest me to just talk to him about everything. But, i'm worried will things even turn back to the way it was before? Now, i even wonder will he even see me perform on the festival? Will he kept his promise?

Without me even realizing it, the sun started to go down, it's already afternoon. We both go back to our class to grab our things. Since, Mikochi aren't in the same class as me, we need to part ways in the hallway.

"See you tomorrow!"

After parting ways with her, i walked back to class, the sound my shoes echoing faintly in the empty hallways. It felt strange how the world around me kept moving, while inside everything felt stuck and frozen.

School Festival is one week away, I was really excited about it at first, because Y/N will come to my practice and cheering me on, and how he promises me that he will watch me perform. Will he, no...does he still remember his promise?