Chapter 7

Ever since that day, we've never talk to each other again, not even exchanging looks. Each days passed, we became more distant.

The Festival are only in count of days, I was never excited about social event like that, but ever since Sui-chan invited me to watch her perform, I became a little bit interested.

Couple of times we passed with each other, she never looked at my eyes again or even bother seeing me at all. She just there, talking and laughing with her friends.

I kept telling myself, that it didn't matter. That, i made the right choice. Or, i should just let things happen the way it is?

"It's finally ended." I let out a long sigh as I get out from my class.

The hallways are still packed with students even though it's afternoon already. There's countless posters in the wall, advertising food stalls, and performances from each class. And of course there is a poster of Suisei's upcoming performance.

I didn't even bother take a look at them. I walk through the busy hallways and eventually reached outside of school leaving the chaos and hectic that happened.

But, as I walk passed the Gymnasium, I heard her voice, which stopped me from walking away. The familiar melody guided me towards the Gymnasium, I couldn't stop.

Each notes and lines sharper than ever, a familiar melody of a song she's been practicing for a long time echoed through the whole room. I peeked through the door, and there she was.

Standing in the center of the stage, eyes closed, completely lost in the music, devoted. For a moment, I forget about everything. The distance, the pictures, and even the argument we had on the rooftop.

And then, she opened her eyes and our eyes met with each other again. Just for a second, for a moment.

My heart stopped, but her voice never did.

I found myself standing inside the Gymnasium longer than I thought I was.

Right after she finished her song, I stepped back, walking away from the Gymnasium. My chest tightened full of regret. I was supposed to be there, supporting her and everything.

I thought to myself that things are better this way and I should forget about our bittersweet moment.

As I finally walked out from the school gate, a familiar voice call for my name. I look around to realise it's Sakura's-san.

"Ah, L/N-san!" She greeted me as she walk closer towards me. "You're not with Sui-chan today?"

I chuckled and force a smile. "She's a bit busy, so i decided to go home alone."

"Is that so?" Her reaction flat, and she was staring at me with suspicion. Am i that bad in lying?

"Yeah.."

"Sui-chan been different this couple of days. Did something happened between you and her?" She asked, her voice full of concern.

"Nothing." I replied shortly.

Hearing my answer, Sakura-san sighed. "I think you both need to talk to each other. To just figure out things between both of you." She spoke as we walk together, our step not in the same rythm.

"I think things are better this way, Sakura-san." I replied. "I don't want to drag her into my mess if the whole school start to talk bad about me."

"Do you think, she care about that?" Sakura-san asked, a familiar question. "Beside, do the whole school knows what and how you both feel? Sooner or later they will even forget about it. It always like that, gossips, rumours, and everything. It doesn't last forever."

"Bu—"

"No buts." She cutted me off. "People will eventually moved on, and all the rumours will fade." She paused and then smiled. "Beside, she's happier when you're around."

"What?"

"Alright, see you later, L/N-san!"

She made it sound so simple, like it was all just...there.

I looked back at the school, my eyes trailing to the gymnasium once again, my heart felt heavy, weighed down by the regret i'd been trying so hard to ignore.

And that's when I saw her.

Sui-chan was standing near the front gate. At first, i feel a familiar tug, the undeniable pull towards her. She looked so calm, her face glow under the afternoon skies. For a moment, I wanted to talk to her, to fix things between us.

But then someone appear in her side.

A tall guy, one of the popular kids if i'm not mistaken. I think I recognize him, he was on the football team, one who always surrounded by people.

She notices him, and greeted him with the same bright smile i used to see when she looked at me. They seemed close with each other, comfortable in a way that made me twist.

He leaned in, saying something to her. Sui-chan laughed her eyes light up as she playfully hit him. I froze, the sound of her laughter felt like for someone else now, someone who actually belong in her world. From where I stood, it looked like they were on their own world, completely at ease with each other.

Her voice, her smile, her whole world seems so far away now.

I had no right to be jealous.

Just like that, everything i'd been holding onto, the hope that maybe things between us could go back, felt like slipping away.

I started walking again, faster this time in hope i could outrun the thoughts in my head. But it will always faster than me. Didn't matter how far I lead, it will always catch up to me.

I knew it was irrational, but part of me couldn't help but feel like losing someone, someone that not even mine in the first place.

The wind picked up as I finally leave the school area, the familiar sights of my neighborhood greeted me, but for once they didn't bring the usual calm.

I stopped in my tracks, standing at a crosswalk, watching the red light flash. My phone buzzed, but i didn't need to look at it to know who it wasn't from. It wasn't Sui-chan.

She had a better things to think about, the festival or that guy by her side, the one who actually fit into her world, unlike me. I grit my teeth trying to swallow the envy I had. Sui-chan had every right to move on, to talk to whoever she wanted to. It was me who pulled away.

Happier when I'm around? I couldn't imagine that. As what i just witness with my own eyes, she looked more happy with that guy rather than me.

The light turned green and I crossed the street as my feet move on autopilot towards my home.

I reached my front door and even fumbled the keys. Once inside, i tossed my bags to the floor and jumped to the couch.

I reached for my phone, no new messages or whatever. A part of me hoped, maybe, just maybe she would text me, even something small. But there's nothing.

I scrolled through our old messages, when everything is simple. Casual conversation, inside jokes, pictures. I stopped when she sent me a picture that day, smiling, carefree and happy.

...............

The long wait finally over as the day of School Festival arrived. The School packed with people both with students and citizens that visited.

There is a lot going on, food stalls at the front gate, performance in the gymnasium, various entertainment from classes too. School are really lively today.

Well, for my class, we decided to do a maid cafe. But, I didn't take any part since I don't get along with anyone in class, apart from couple of my friends. Apparently, Sui-chan are supposed to be the main attention, but she got her own thing to do.

Oh, mentioning her...I supposed to watch her perform today. But, do i really need to? Is my appearance still expected by her?

At least, I need to keep my promise to her.

I walked through the crowd, my hand shoved deep in my pocket, trying to blend in. As I make my way to the gymnasium, everyone is already there. It feels like the whole school wanted to see her. There is so many people.

Before I knew it, I found myself inside the gymnasium together with a lot of people. The crowd was packed, everyone is excited.

As the light deemed and as her name announced, Hoshimachi Suisei, a cheer erupted from the whole gymnasium and I just stood there in the back near the entrance door.

She stepped to the stage, the spotlight hitting her perfectly. The long sky blue hair, the charming deep blue eyes, her school uniform, everything perfectly catches the light.

The world melted away, and it was just her. The same girl who dragged me to a coffee shop that day, the same girl who laugh at silly jokes.

She started singing, her voice much different from before, it feels like she was pouring everything from her heart and out. My whole body stuck in awe, as everyone cheering her with their glowstick.

The planet is shaking, seeing a dreamThe sound I longed forwas waitingFor the days hidden within the colorful sparkling, I'll convey this melody

I peeked at the townscapesoaked in the rain through the windowI keep it tightly in my pocket, because this sound easily burstLet's dance nowYour favorite songI was carried away by the rhythm of the hit songLike a magicThe light is shining on me

While assembling the planets, I'll paint a dreamThe voice I longed foris calling meFor you who are clad in colorful sparkling,I'll convey this melodyIt can't just end like thisI'll dance all night on a special stageI can't just wait without move like thisLet's start running because tomorrow will be sunny

My eyes are locked to her, whenever she sees mine or not it doesn't matter anymore. Hearing this sound of her heart ,tear mine off. It just so beautiful.

still haven't woken up, even though I've opened the curtainAlthough it looks gloomy, when comets fall from the sky,Let's show nowThe costume I always wear I'll change into the dress displayed in the shop windowLike a magicThe my dress skirtflutters gently

Try to imagine your future vision across the star-studded skyYou can see it there,if you can see it there,you can fly higherIf your smile is in full bloom,try to sing along with my heartbeatCan meet there, we can meet thereBecause the world will definitely change

Because tomorrow will be sunny

The crowd erupted with cheer again as she finished her songs, she cheerfully greeted the whole crowd with her usual energetic voice.

"Everyonee!!! Thanks for coming!!!" She waved both of her hand. "Prepare yourself as this is not the en—"

And there it was, as I was staring at her, I feel our eyes met with each other again. Her voice suddenly stop, and I could see her face change.

For a moment, my heart skip a beat, unsure if this is just my feelings or not.

For those couple seconds of silent, everyone wonders and concerned of what happened. But, for me it was like the whole world fell away, the noise from the crowd, the chaos and hectic of the festival, even the ache in my chest dissapear.

It was just me and her, locked in with each other's eyes. Caught in a moment that felt like everything and nothing at the same time.

She smiled. The same smile I used to see, the same one I remembered from our first conversation, the same one when she teases me. It was genuine, it was sweet and warm.

My heart beat faster than ever.

But it didn't last long. Sui-chan turned her gaze back to the crowd, raising her microphone again, she spoke to them. "Are you all ready for more?! Prepare yourself as this is not the end!"

The crowd erupted to cheer once again, excitement are all over the place as she ready to perform her second songs.

Her fear of letting anyone down should be gone after this, as she just impressed everyone and did not let anyone down.

Eventually, her perfomance come to an end. Everyone was sad and happy at the same time because of what they just witnessed. The gymnasium filled with cheers once again as she walk out from the stage.

I didn't expect I would stick till the end, but it was worth it.

Now that, it still far from the festival to end I wonder to myself what i'd do after this. Do i just go home?

Not long after that, I found myself sitting in a bench, eating Takoyaki with myself far from the crowds and the chaos of School Festival. It's the same place where I teach Sui-chan martial art back then.

As I enjoy my time alone, a familiar voice struck me.

"Y/N-san..." It was Sui-chan.

Stoned and suprised, I froze for seconds before I finally realized. "Sui-chan....?" What is she doing here? How did she find me?

"You came." Her voice soften, and her face still covered with a make up for her performance.

"I've already said that I'm not going to miss it, right?" I replied, the air between us tense. "That's a promise."

For a moment nothing happened as silent fill the air between us, we just gazed at each other, our eyes met, this time closer than before.

"I'm....glad." Sui-chan replied, breaking the silence. "I've waited for you since this morning. I thought, you wouldn't came."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't fully support you."

"Don't be sorry..." She move closer towards me and sat beside me. This time, I could see her face closer. "It's my fault to say such a thing to you..."

"I'm too egoist, don't you think?" I gazed at the skies, "I'm too scared of what people think and was forcing myself to create a distance between us."

I look into her eyes, the charm she usually have are gone, traded with something else.

She shook her head, denying what I just said. "No...I should have been more understandings too. I didn't realize how much pressure you were under. I never wanted to feel like you don't belong to me."

"I thought.." I hesitated, struggling to say the words. "I thought staying away was the right thing. For your sake, I didn't want to cause more problems. I didn't want people to talk about you."

"Y/N-san." Sui-chan interrupted, her eyes soft. "Do you really think I care about what other people say? I've never cared about any of that. You mattered to me more. You still matter to me."

Her words hit me heavier, harder than I expected. The guilt I'd been carrying felt heavier, knowing that I was pushing her out.

She looked down at her hands, her fingers playing with the ham of her skirts. "It's been hard...really hard without you around. I missed this." She gestured between us, the air still thick with unspoken things.

"Same. I missed this too." I replied, but my voice low, barely like a whisper.

She glanced up to me. "Then why don't you come to me? Why didn't you talk to me?"

"I thought, maybe it would be better for you if I wasn't there. That maybe you would be happier with someone who fits better into your world."

Sui-chan frowned, and for the first time again, I saw a frustration in her face. "Y/N-san, you don't get it don't you? My world...it doesn't mean anything if you're not in it."

Her words made my heart beat faster. The weight I've been holding on feel like crashing down at once. I hadn't realize that I was just pushing her away all this time, hurting her rather than "protecting" her.

"I'm sorry." The words finally came from my mouth, the things that I really wanted to say. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

Sui-chan smiled softly, her eyes were flowing with tears, and as now I feel like everything could go back again, to the way it used to be.

"Let's start over, let's write something new on us now!" Her usual smile come back, the one that I've missed the most.

For the first time in a while, everything felt nicer again. We sat there together, distant from everyone and anything, our hand close barely touching each other.

"Don't you think we still got time to walk around the school?" I asked, remembering another promise I made, actually it was her who invited me to do this.

"We got plenty of time I think." She replied, a hint of excitement in her voice. "You want to go?"

"Aren't you the one who invited me to do this back then?" I replied.

I could see her face turned red slightly, maybe she's happy I still remember that?

"Yeah!" She nodded full of excitement. "Let's go now!"

"Thank you, Y/N-kun."