Chapter 12

Siva awakened with a pounding in his head and a blur in his vision. He rubbed his eyes until he was able to see more clearly. He slowly sat up, making the pain in his head much worse.

He brought his thumb and index finger to his temples and massaged them, hoping it would help, which clearly it would not.

After spending hours walking around the day before, he decided to drown himself in liquor, which didn't take much to do. He was a definite lightweight, and he certainly took it over board last night. He'd never felt so physically and mentally terrible.

He thought he'd wake up and not be bothered by all the past events, but after pain struck him, all the memories came rushing back. This misery is inescapable, hethought to himself.

He lifted himself from the hotel bed and tried to balance his body as his head spun. He then called for room service and requested coffee before he headed into the bathroom to take a nice hot shower.

When he got out, he wrapped a towel around his waist and headed out the bathroom. To his surprise there was a girl sat on the bed drinking coffee. She had shoulder length mousy dark auburn hair, thin lips, big dark brown eyes, and a pierced nose that didn't quite fit on the face of her small head, but it still somehow worked for her look. She was small, but looked as if she were a brewing storm not to be messed with.

"Hello again," she said with a bright smile. "You look nice shirtless and wet." She eyed him down, defiling him with her mind.

"Who in the world are you and how'd you get in here?" He had a hint of panic in his voice, because, of course he had no idea what was going on.

"Forgot me so soon?" She frowned jokingly.

"I'll ring the police if you don't answer!"

"Fine, I was your call girl."

Siva's mouth hung open. He looked her up and down in disbelief.

"I'm joking!" She bursted with laughter.

"Are you serious?" Siva exclaimed, his face turning red with anger and embarrassment.

"Calm down buddy. You were much cooler whilst drunk-"

"Who are you?" He grew impatient as she spoke.

"Brenda. We met at a pub last night. We were both having a pretty shitty day and noticed, so we begun to converse. Neither of us were in the right state to drive, so we trudged through the night owls until we ended up here. This was the only room available, so we shared it."

"I wondered how I got here."

"Right, well, I bought you breakfast and room service brought coffee."

"Thanks."

"No problemo."

Siva walked back into the bathroom to dress himself.

"Do you remember anything from last night?" Brenda yelled so he'd hear her.

"I honestly don't! I do remember entering the pub, but anything after is just a blank!"

"I'd imagine! You had two drinks and were already tipsy! By the third drink you were gone!" She giggled.

Siva opened the door and stepped out once he was fully dressed. "I'll admit, I'm a bit of lightweight."

"A bit?" She giggled.

"Just go with it, will you?"

"Whatever makes you happy! So, any plans for today?"

"Getting my life sorted, for one."

"Or do you mean getting Jay back?"

Siva's eyes went wide. "I told you about him?"

"You told me everything." He walked up to the bed and dropped his rear end on it, sitting beside her. Hunched over, he clasped his hands and sucked his bottom lip in.

"Are you gonna get him back?"

He shook his head. "I can't, not when Nareesha is plotting against us."

"Who the fuck is Nareesha in all of this? It's not fair for her to control your life."

"I ruined hers."

"No, you didn't. You got rid of that psychotic bitch so you could be with the one you really want to be with: Jay."

"Let's not call her a bitch."

"Who, the bitch?"

Siva gave her that are you kidding me look.

"Alright! Sheesh! Nareesha it is. Anyway, you can't let her get in the way of what you have with Jay. She's just saying she's gonna go to the press with the story so she can get you back."

"No, that's ridiculous."

"Is it? She knew you guys would breakup once she told your friends, 'cause who wouldn't in your situation? So, now she's scaring you, hoping you'll run back into her arms."

"With the way she's acting, it doesn't seem like that's what she's doing at all."

"That's only to keep you wrapped around her finger. If she keeps you on your toes, you may not reconsider leaving her again."

"That's just,"

"Smart? Psychotic? Bitch-like?"

"Miranda-"

"It's Brenda. How did you get Miranda out of Brenda?"

"Just stop calling her a bitch."

"I'll try to try not to."

"That's better than nothing."

"It won't change the fact that she's a bitch, though."

"Dear Lord."

Brenda giggled.

"Do you know the time?"

"Eighteen o'clock."

"How long was I asleep for? How'd you even get breakfast?"

"Got it from some bagel place, and technically that's dinner. Where's your phone?"

"I haven't a clue."

"Then find it! You need to talk to Jay. If you guys get back together, Nareesha will just have to walk away and leave you be in defeat."

"I don't know about this."

"Yeah you do. Hop to it!"•••

Jay was over at Daron's place which only made him anxious. He couldn't bear to remember what happened the first/last timehe was there. It was hard to get over it.

They were sat in the living room drinking lemon flavored tea.

"How's it feel to be back here?" Jay asked.

"Scary," Daron replied with a giggle; he really didn't find it funny, though. He didn't want to make Jay worry.

"I can imagine."

"It's nothing I can't get through."

"True, but if you can't, you can always just find a new place."

"I've already noted that," he laughed; Jay joined in.

"How'd yesterday at the studio go for you?"

"You were right, the boys forgave me. They didn't say it, but I could tell."

"Told ya! What about Siva? Is everything alright with him?"

"I wouldn't know. He didn't show up yesterday."

"Have you contacted him or anything?"

"Nah. I feel like I should keep my distance until this whole Nireesha situation blows over. Plus, we'll need to get used to not being together."

"How's that going for you?"

"It absolutely horrible," he replied quickly.

"Aw. I feel so bad. For a second I hoped Jiva would work out."

Jay chuckled. "Let's not use ship names."

"You don't have to, but I certainly will."

Jay chuckled once again. "Moving away from the subject, have you spoken to your mom?"

"Moving away from that subject, let's do something."

"Like?"

"I don't know. Something fun. How about we go bowling?"

"You'd die in laughter watching me trying to knock the pins over, so let's scratch that one off the list."

"Okay, now I definitely want to go bowling."

"And I definitely don't."

"Oh come on! I just came out of hospital and this is how you treat me."

"Don't try and guilt me into it."

"Please, Bird?" He made a puppy dog face and whined.

"Just because you look incredibly adorable right now doesn't mean I'll give in."

"Pwetty, pwetty pwease!"

"Oh bullocks! Let's go."

Daron jumped up with joy. "Yay!"

"We'll talk about your parents later, though."

"Nay," he frowned.

•••

"I told you I was horrible at this," Jay said after failing to knock down any pins once again after numerous tries.

Daron laughed. "I know. I didn't think you'd be this bad, though."

"Ha-ha." Jay mocked without any emotion in voice.

He walked back to where the two would sit as they waited their turn.

"Why don't I help you?" Daron offered.

"I'm a lost cause if you haven't noticed."

Daron chuckled. "Don't say that. You just need the right motivation and some more focus." He got up from his seat and took another bowling ball.

"Come on," he said to Jay.

"Ugh. Fine." He took the ball from him and held it correctly in his hand.

"Alright. Now, get in the right stance."

Jay followed his instructions and posed in front of the alley.

"Good. Now I want you to focus on the pin in the center."

"I am focused on it," he argued.

"No, you're looking at it, but you're not focused on it."

"Then show me how to focus, Daron the monk."

"I will." Daron stood behind Jay and held the hand that had the bowling ball. They're bodies were less than an inch away, making Jay tense up.

"Relax," said Daron. "This is no big deal, right?"

Jay turned his head back to look at Daron.

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No. Let's just make this quick so people don't start to stare at us as if we're an alien species."

Daron chuckled. "Alright then, back to the pins. You can't just look at the center, you have to zone into it. Be so zoned in that everything or sound surrounding you has seemed to disappear. All you care for is that pin in the center which will hopefully give you a strike.

So, I'm gonna shut up now. You just take a deep breath and I'll guide your hand, but I'll let you take care of the rest."

Jay nodded. Following his steps, he narrowed his eyes to the pin in the center and slowly zoned into it. For that one moment he didn't think about all of the worries in his head, or what people thought, or even the feel of Daron's warm breath in the back of his neck that made his body tingle and his hairs stiffen. All he could think of was that one pin that might possibly put every other person bowling to shame.

With a lengthy inhale, he pulled his arm back, and let it fly forward with an exhale as Daron guided it. They watched as the bowling ball wiggled left and right down the center. Then boom, all of the pins went down without mercy.

A grin sprawled across Jay's face. "Christ on a bike I did it!"

"See. Told you all you needed was a little focus."

Jay turned around to face him. "Indeed you did. Thanks."

"Not a problem. Wanna give it another go?"

"Actually, I'm quite famished, so let's get a bite to eat."

"Okay. It'll be on me."

"Nah, it's fine. I'll pay."

"Nonsense. I'm the one who dragged you hear, so I'll pay. What do you want?"

"I'll just have a plate of chips."

"One plate of chips coming right up."

"Thanks."

As Jay sat down at their booth, he watched Daron walk away. Why's he being so kind, he asked himself.

His phone vibrated in the front pocket of his jeans, immediately disrupting his thoughts. He pulled it out and saw that Siva texted him.

Seev:Hey, can we talk?

He quickly replied, No. I don't trust what ur going to say.

Seev:And u shouldn't. I've spent all day thinking about our situation, and I've concluded that I don't give a damn about the consequences. I just wanna be with u bird.

Jay:N I want 2 be with u, but unfortunately I do care about the consequences.

Seev:But why care? We both luv each other. What more of a reason do we need to be together?

Jay:I agree, but this whole ordeal has taken a toll on me. It's not healthy for my wellbeing.

Seev: What do u mean?

Jay:I told u about my past. I think that's clear enough.

Seev:Have u hurt urself?

"Back with the food!" Daron gave a wide grin that made his eyes disappear. He placed Jay's plate in front of him.

Jay: I've g2g.

He shut his phone off and placed it back into his pocket.

"Texting someone?"

"Not anymore." His voice was heavy.

"Is something bothering you?"

Jay took in a long breath. "Siva. I don't think he gets the point of breaking up."

"Gosh you guys are miserable," Daron laughed.

"Yeah..."

"Maybe, maybe you and Siva aren't meant to be. It's better that you break up now then after things blow up."

"When were you for our relationship ending?"

"When was I ever really for your relationship?"

Jay wasn't expecting that answer. He knew Daron was interested in him, but he thought he was over him by now.

"What do you mean?" Jay asked.

Daron stared at him questioningly. "Nothing. Never mind. Eat up." He tried to crack a smile.

"Will do."

After they finished their dishes, they decided to call it a day. They then drove over to Jay's place in silence. When they pulled up in front of it, Daron stopped Jay from getting out of his car by holding on to his forearm.

"What is it?" Jay asked.

"I really like you, Jay."

"I like you to." He gave a fake smile, knowing exactly what Daron meant.

"No, not like that... Well, like that,but I also really like you."

"I'm not sure I get you." He laughed nervously.

Daron sighed and pondered for a bit. He then leaned towards Jay with his eyes closed and lips puckered. Jay rose his hand to his chest and stopped him.

Daron's eyes flung open and his cheeks were flushed from embarrassment. He moved back and gripped the wheel with both hands.

Jay looked down in his lap as he thought over what just happened.

"I'm sorry," said Daron.

"I don't believe you."

"Fine. I'm not sorry, because I want to be with you."

Jay scoffed. "I can't believe you. This whole time I thought you were my friend, but you were just someone who was trying to get with me."

"You knew that."

"Yeah, but after dating Siva I thought that would change."

"You're broken up! I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is that you've tried taking advantage of this opportunity - me being single and all. I thought you took me out to cheer me up, not to try and get me to date you since I'm all sad and fragile, or whatever."

"I'm not going to deny that."

"It wouldn't change the truth if you did!" Jay sighed. "I'm sorry that you're going through stuff and your parents are being crap to you, but trust me when I say I'm no escape from that."

"And why's that?"

"I've got resurfacing issues of my own, and I don't want that to affect you."

"Or Siva?"

"He's the cause, really. Can you just stop bringing him up?"

"Why?"

"Because, I asked. What's going on with you?"

"I'm not like Siva. I don't cheat, and I don't lie to myself. And I certainly don't drag baggage into another relationship.

I know you've known him longer, but I honestly think we'd be great together. We get each other. We're always laughing and joking around; and we know how to put smiles on each other's faces.

So, why can't we be together? I'll only do right by you. I'll always make you happy."

Jay opened his car door and stepped out. Bending over to see inside the car, he said, "This is goodbye, Daron." He shut the door and walked away.

•••

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