Chapter 15 - Conspiracy

*JENNA'S POV*

It was getting harder and harder to hold onto him. I could sense that, and it scared me.

The tighter I clung onto him, the more he slipped through my fingers. I felt powerless to stop it. A space had developed between us, and I couldn't cross it now, despite how much I wanted to. Josh had been all I wanted, and now I was losing him.

We hardly spoke. He hardly even looked at me. When he did look at me, it wasn't with that wide-eyed, boy-like adoration anymore; it was with sadness, because he could feel it too. We shared a house; we shared a bed; we shared a name; but it felt like we hadn't touched in months.

When I had first realised what was happening, I couldn't understand it. Nothing had changed; I hadn't changed. Why didn't Josh want me anymore? And then I'd located the cause of it, when I first saw them together. Her. I'd thought I was free of her, finally. I'd thought, stupidly, when Josh left Paramore, that I wouldn't have to worry again. I wouldn't have worry about her being close to him. But there she was again, like a determined boomerang. They'd just been talking in a mall; casual; nothing incriminating. But what had got me was that Josh had lied to me to see her, and worse - the way he looked at her. I could see that even from a distance. It was the way he used to look at me. Like she was the only thing in his world.

Hayley. Even her name felt like a smack across the face.

I'd tried to think nothing of it, but it was turning me sour from the inside out. I couldn't help having suspicions. They were just little things, but I noticed differences in Josh's behaviour. One day, I had come back home and found two pasta bowls in the sink rather than just one, even though it had only been Josh in the house as far as I knew; and another time, I'd returned from an art class to the smell of a perfume in the living room that wasn't mine. Little things. I picked up on them, though.

Then, recently, I'd seen the pictures. They didn't prove anything, but they made me feel like perhaps I was right, and not just insanely paranoid. They were holding hands. Josh never held my hand anymore. I'd stared at them for hours, it seemed, looking at the way she leant on him slightly; the way that Josh seemed happier than I'd ever been able to make him. I'd felt hatred boiling in my blood. If you hadn't known that Josh Farro was married, anyone would have said they looked like a couple. As it was, they were probably just friends. Right?

I didn't know. It was absurd that I couldn't just sit down with Josh and ask him about it. A wife should be able to talk to her husband, shouldn't she? She should be able to trust him to be faithful, shouldn't she? She should be able to hold him; kiss him; make love to him - something we hadn't done in a long, long time. She should be able to love him without fear.

I couldn't anymore.

Feeling like I had no control over the situation was the worst part. So was feeling like everything I had worked so hard for was being taken from me by someone else. Like she was taking my place. But I wasn't going to let her. I wasn't.

So when I found myself in the car behind Hayley's that day as I headed home with Isabelle from shopping in Nashville, I wasn't about to let the opportunity get away from me. She lived on the other side of Franklin - and it was only housing in this area, so there was no other reason for her to be there. It was obvious to me that she was headed for my house, and for Josh. I wouldn't allow her to do that. I was prepared to do anything I had to. I didn't care if it would have consequences. In that moment, I just wanted to keep her away from him. For once and for all.

*HAYLEY'S POV*

As I drove to Josh's house, the sun beating down on the back of my neck, I couldn't help feeling like a teenager who had just been let out of school for the summer. We had got back yesterday from playing the bunch of shows over in Europe, and I was relieved. This leg of the tour had definitely been the hardest for me so far. It was the longest time I had spent away from Josh, and there had been that whole drama about photos of us together ending up online. But right then, I felt careless. It was swelteringly hot, which was the way I liked it; the sunshine was baking the worries out of my mind, and I was free. In a few minutes I would be with Josh, and everything would be perfect.

That was what I thought, anyway. Because things took a decided turn for the worst as I looked in my wing mirror and saw who was in the car behind me.

This is not what I need today. I felt my good mood falling to pieces around me. Guess I'm not going round Josh's then. What does she want?

I sighed and pulled over, reluctantly getting out and waiting cautiously as Jenna stopped her car behind mine. After a few seconds, the door on the driver's side opened, followed by the passenger one, and Jenna and a girl, maybe sixteen years old, began slowly making their way over to me. It had been several years since I'd last seen her, but I instantly cross-referenced the oval face and long, wavy brown hair with my memory of a younger Isabelle Farro. I took in the determined set of Jenna's features and braced myself. I kind of wanted just to jump back in my car and escape, but I stayed rooted to the spot, deciding to weather the inevitable storm. It was inevitable because I could see the icy blueness of Jenna's eyes now, and the anger in them.

"Hayley. What a nice surprise," the sarcastic remark sliced from her lips. I saw Isabelle shoot her a look that was startled and almost frightened. I couldn't blame her. Jenna had turned into that same hard and intimidating version of herself I had encountered once before. Only this time, Josh wasn't here to stop her.

"Jenna," I replied, and nodded towards Isabelle. I could see a lot of Josh in her face, especially in her nose and the shape of her lips; and whilst she wasn't the same little kid I remembered, her alarmed expression made her seem a lot younger than she was. I didn't think she'd ever seen this side of Jenna before. "Isabelle."

"Lucky for us to run into you," Jenna continued, "seeing as you live on the opposite side of town, and all. What are you doing here, anyway?"

"Just passing through."

Jenna smiled, venom turning down the corners slightly so that it was almost a sneer. "Sure you were."

I stared her down. "What did you want, Jenna?"

She took a step closer, so that there was no avoiding her gaze. "Oh, you know. Just to talk. I feel like we've got a lot of catching up to do. And I think you need reminding of something I told you last time we saw each other."

"What would that be?

"I think I told you that Josh and I were managing fine without your interference. And I think I told you to stay away from him."

I flinched, but tried to hold my ground as best I could. I wasn't going to let this turn into a repeat of last time, where I let her walk all over me. That wasn't going to happen this time around. I had to stand up for myself.

"Why do I have to do that?" I retorted. "You can't tell me what to do."

Jenna laughed coldly. "Yes, I can, Hayley. I'm his wife. You're nothing. You mean nothing. You're insignificant to him, compared to me. I know what he wants, and it isn't you." Isabelle tugged on her arm, trying to get her to stop, but she shrugged her off. "That's why he broke up with you all those years ago, and married me. I'm what he wants. And I'd suggest you get out now before you make an even bigger fool of yourself."

I'm the fool? I'm not the one whose husband is seeing another woman every time I leave the house. Sure I'm not the one he wants.

"But you're not!" I shouted, unable to stop myself. "He doesn't want you! He barely talks to you anymore!"

Jenna's eyes narrowed further. "And why would you think that?"

"Because he told me! Because, despite whatever you try to do, Josh is closer to me than he is to you," I said with grim satisfaction. I felt a wave of guilt as I watched pain flicker on her face, but she quickly composed herself. And what she said next erased any feeling of guilt I was feeling.

"Really?" Jenna paused, and I saw a spark suddenly light up behind her eyes. A thought crossed her face and tugged her mouth into a smirk. "I guess he hasn't told you, then."

"Told me what?" I asked slowly.

My eyes darted from Jenna to Isabelle, who was looking at Jenna confusedly. I raised my eyebrows, waiting for her to continue.

"We're going to have a baby."

We're going to have a baby. That was the second time someone had told me that in under a week, but this time it didn't make me happy for them. I was just completely dumbstruck.

I stared at her for what could have been several minutes. Jenna was returning my gaze with a smug expression, as I fumbled around in my head, trying to remember how to speak. Whatever I had expected her to say, it wasn't that. I looked down at her stomach, which appeared as flat as ever.

Jenna noticed my glance. "It's early days. Josh and I only made the decision a couple of weeks ago, and, well..." She paused, and there was a derisive edge to the silence. "I'm sure I don't need to give you The Talk, Hayley."

"I -" I spluttered. I couldn't manage much more than that.

My first reaction was to presume she was lying. I knew Jenna. She felt threatened by me, so it would make sense for her to try to prove Josh had chosen her. If she and Josh were expecting a baby, it would be the the most concrete proof she could give. And I knew Josh. He wouldn't do this to me. He had said that the next opportunity he had, he was going to break up with Jenna. He wasn't planning a family with her any time soon, that was for certain.

But was it? I just couldn't understand why anyone would lie about something as huge as that. It was insane. I knew Jenna was insecure, but was she really that crazy?

Suddenly, while I was trying desperately not to believe it, the prospect that perhaps there was a chance Jenna was telling the truth hit me.

"So," Jenna said again. "Are you going to carry on the way you were headed? Or do you think you should go home?" The challenge in her tone made it clear she had known where I was going. But she had succeeded. I realised my legs were carrying me back to my car, my eyes prickling, my hands clenched.

"Goodbye, Hayley!" Jenna called mockingly as I started the ignition.

Wordlessly, I took one final look at them both standing there - Isabelle seeming as though she'd just witnessed a car crash, and Jenna - God, I want to go back there and slap her so hard right now - with her hands folded over her torso, deliberately cradling the baby that might or might not have been there, just to add insult to my injury.

When I got home, the first thing I did was to dial Josh's number. I didn't care that Jenna would be back in the house by now; he could find somewhere private to talk to me, or something. I needed to hear him tell me that Jenna was lying from his own mouth. I needed an explanation.

As I waited for him to answer, a horrible picture crept into my head. I imagined Jenna and Josh kissing, undressing, while I was far away on another continent. I imagined Josh holding her as he had held me. It almost felt like I was the one whose husband was betraying me. Like Josh had not only betrayed Jenna with me, but me with Jenna. Like he had betrayed us both.

Where can I turn? 'Cause I need something moreSurrounded by uncertainty, I'm so unsureTell me why I feel so alone 'Cause I need to know to whom do I owe

Explain to me this conspiracy against meAnd tell me how I've lost my power