Chapter 2

In the midst of her popularity, beyond the smile she put for the world to see, her thoughts of him keep coming back again and again, even if she tried to forget.

These past seven years hasn't been easy for her, the journey towards becoming an Idol she dreamed of are rough. But, there's a reason for her to keep going, the boy she loved so much.

In need to reach something, you have to sacrifice. Hoshimachi Suisei, sacrificed her relationships with her highschool sweetheart, someone who supported her from day one.

It wasn't intentional, it just happened. As her career soared in the air, the usual late night conversation and calls with Y/N started to end.

No matter how hard she wanted to reach him, it always end up in a failure, hesitating to send the messages she eagerly wanted him to see.

Y/N-kun, he must be happy now. The same words keep repeating over and over.

Suisei stared at the screen of her computer, reading live chats from her stream. Her voice full of excitement as she talked with her fans, the opposite of what she truly feels.

After hours of streaming it finally come to an end, she closes everything and stared at a folder she put on the desktop. An old folder named "Y/N and Me."

There's a lot of pictures, mainly candids of Y/N and their picture together. At the School Festival, at the Amusement Park, at Y/N's old house when she took care of him, at Suisei's old home when they baked cookies together and more.

"You...and your bad cooking..." She spoke to herself as she clicked on a video where Suisei recorded Y/N burning an omellete.

The camera turned to her when she took a selfie with him. There she was, younger and less polished next to the boy who rarely smile.

"Y/N-kun..."

Suisei sighed as she turned off the computer, she gazed outside through the windows, watching the city lights from her apartment.

She looked at the stages of life, where everything she wished come true. The shining star she always wanted to be, concerts, recording sessions, streamings, millions of fans.

But, why it feel so uncomplete?

What does it mean for a star without a planet orbiting around it?

This is what I wanted...She muttered, covering her face with her palm.

Her phone buzzed, pulling her back to reality. A message from her manager, a reminder about upcoming stream.

She get up from her chair and lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling now. The clock showed the time past midnight, but there's no urge to sleep. Instead, she search for Y/N's contact, typing a message like usual.

A simple 'Hey, how have you been?'  Her thumb hovered over the send button, but it always frozed in place, stopped by something she couldn't see.

She frustrated and ended up throwing her phone to the side before forcing herself to sleep.

The morning sun filtered through her curtains, waking Suisei from her sleep. She glanced at her phone on her side, the unsent message still sitting there in drafts.

She let out a long sigh before deleting the unsent message, her heart heavy with a burden.

"Maybe tomorrow..." She muttered, her own voice filling the apartment room.

She dragged herself out of her bed, and went through her usual morning routine, taking a shower, having a breakfast and dressed in a white sailor outfit with a dark blue tie.

As she walked to the studio, the busy city surrounded her, vehicle noises and people walking.

It all come into a silent as she arrived in the studio, Suisei's manager, Takehiru-san greeted her.

"Suisei-san! Ready for another greatness?" His voice energetic.

She forced a smile and nodded, "Of course."

The rehearsals went great, Suisei's voice keep getting better and better, her dancing skills keep improving, but her mind kept drifting.

'I can't afford to do this...' She shake her head, trying to erase her thoughts on him. 'I need to be professional.'

She stepped out from the studio, looking for a breath of fresh air, she walked towards a vending machine, her fingers hovered on the button, purchasing an Apple Juice.

"You seem distracted, a lot." Takehiru-san's firm voice surprised Suisei.

"Manager-san..." She replied, putting down her drink. "I'm just tired, that's all."

"It's not just today, Suisei-san." Her manager voice filled with concern. "You've been like this for a week now."

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again." She bowed apologizing to her manager.

"It's about him, right? Your highschool boyfriend, wasn't it?" Takehiru-san speak again, his voice unsatisfied filled with frustration.

"Y-yes." Suisei hesitated before answering, knowing that she cannot bring her personal life to her job.

"It's been years, Suisei-san. You have to forget him." He move closer to her. "You need to move on." His voice softening now, encouraging Suisei.

"You've worked so hard for this to come true, right? That's why, you need to focus on this." He continued taking another step closer towards her.

Suisei bit his lip, her eyes flickered to the ground as her mind filled with all the memories in her highschool days.

"I know," She whispered, her voice low. "I know I need to move on."

Takehiru's expression softened, he placed his hand on her shoulder smiling. "It's not your fault, people eventually grow up and it happens to everyone." His voice soft as he patted her hair, letting his words sink in. "What's important now is your career, you've become someone you dreamt of, someone that people look up to."

Suisei glanced up to him, searching for his eyes. There's something in his voice that affected her, something that made her believe every of his words.

"But..." She hesitated, her voice cracked slightly. "I still care about him."

Takehiru takes another step closer untill his voice sound near whisper. "I know you do, but does he still feel the same way like you?" He looked at her, their eyes met. "He's not a part of your world anymore, he's not someone that can understand the pressure you face everyday."

Suisei's brow furrowed, she know that her manager are right. Y/N are far know, so far she didn't even know where he at. He didn't live surrounded by cameras, fans and schedule. Could he really understand? She thought to herself.

"He's probably moved on too, you know?" Takehiru added, he grinned. "He's living his life, just like you are."

His words sank deep inside her, the thought of Y/N moving on, living a life where she no longer played a role in it, struck her heart.

"Maybe you're right..." Her voice low as she gazed down to the ground.

Takehiru's hand still rested on her shoulder, his voice gentle yet firm. "You're an idol now Suisei-san, you're a shining star." He leaned in closer, "You don't have time to be stuck in the past."

She nodded though her heart wasn't in it. There was truth in his words, but it felt as she were being pulled further away from something important, something real.

Suisei's heart feel heavy, weighed down by the conflicting emotions swirling inside her. She had worked so hard for this, to be in this stage of life, but it all felt hollow at this moment.

Her manager's words echoed in her head, sensible and logical yet carried a deep sting.

Takehiru, seeing how much Suisei affected by his words felt satisfied and a wide grin formed in his lips.