10th May 1950

Chapter 13

10th May 1950

"Are you coming for dinner tonight?" I asked Jade before she left for work, she nodded, it was the 10th of May 1950 and I realised that it was only four days until the anniversary of our first encounter, I knew that given the circumstances leading up to our meeting, it wasn't a good day for Jade, so I decided that for the occasion I would do something special and distract her from negative thoughts.

I took the camera Jade had given me and the car keys, I got in and drove to Boots the Chemist on Regent Street remembering that there was a dedicated photography area inside the shop, I walked in and headed to the photography department, I looked around admiring all the cameras and accessories.

A/N - Photography department of Boots the Chemist on Regent Street in London 

"Do you need any help, miss?" the man at the counter asked me, I turned and smiled at him nodding and approaching, I took my camera and placed it on the desk.

"Good morning, it was given to me as a gift and I would like to take the film" I said politely.

The clerk smiled at me and disappeared to the back returning with three small boxes, "It's a 35mm, how many poses?" he asked and I frowned in confusion, he smiled and continued, "12, 24 or 36 shots?" he asked.

"36" I replied confidently.

"Do you know how it works?" I shook my head and he turned the camera around making me look inside the peephole, "To focus you have to turn the crank, he pointed to a lever, and this button is used to adjust the shutter speed"

"The shutter speed?"

"The time the shutter stays open and absorbs light, the more light there is, the shorter the exposure time must be, the less light there is the longer it must stay open to allow the shutter to absorb as much light as possible. 1/125 means 1 hundred and twenty-fifth of a second, 1/50 1 fiftieth and so on" he explained, I asked him a few more questions and paid.

"How do I process them?" I asked him as I re-entered the shop with a confused look on my face, I had missed exactly the main part.

"It's very complicated, miss" he told me condescendingly but recovered when I glared at him, "Well, first you have to find a room with no light at all, you have to buy a lot of chemicals and process the roll of film with the negatives first, then you can choose which of the poses to get on photographic paper" he told me.

"How do I know how long the photographs have to stay in the substances to react?" I asked him having read some information about analogue development of photographs but having very limited knowledge of the subject.

"Here, take this" he told me going to pick up a small book behind the counter, "Here are all the instructions" he smiled, "If I may take the liberty, I would advise you to take a 12 film to do the first test, once you have placed the film in the chemical bath, all the poses will undergo the reaction, don't waste the 36 one for a test" he suggested.

"You're right, thank you" I smiled, "How much do I owe you for the 12 and the book?" he counted and told me the price, I looked at him confused and told him he was probably wrong.

"The book is free, but come back and show me when you're done!" he told me enthusiastically, I thanked him and walked out of the shop.

I took the book to the car and decided to go for a walk and start using the camera, putting into practice what the young man had explained to me.

From Regent Street I walked to Buckingham Palace via St James's Square, I stopped in the park to take my first photos and after a few attempts to remember all the instructions I started to take pictures, I continued my walk to King George VI's residence and noticed people looking at me curiously as I walked for about an hour being careful to find glimpses of life or particular views to photograph.

When the weather started to turn cloudy and the sky to darken, I decided to go back to the car, on the way back I stopped in front of the London Library in St James's Square and got an idea.

I put my camera back in the bag and went inside, going up to the woman at the entrance I asked about the newspaper archive, she told me to go up the stairs to the second floor and turn right. I followed the path and found myself in front of huge shelves containing most of the newspapers published since the 18th century, although some were lost during the bombing of 1944, most were saved.

I started looking through the various newspapers for articles that might be useful for my idea, although finding it would be like finding a needle in a haystack I didn't give up and continued for almost two hours, it was lunchtime and I thought about giving up but I remembered Jade and made a few more attempts.

"Mrs Taylor?" I heard a voice but I stayed focused on my task and didn't turn around, "Mrs Taylor? Perrie?" the voice asked. I snapped out of my trance when I heard my name unaccustomed to being called by Christopher's surname and turned towards the owner of the voice.

"Professor Johnson?" I asked looking at the elderly man in front of me.

"Perrie! I was sure it was you" he said smiling warmly at me.

Professor Johnson had been my father's friend for years, he had taught literature at Oxford and Cambridge and just before the war he tutored me in the alphabet and some grammar. He was a kind and companionable man but certainly strict when teaching.

"What a pleasure to see you again after so long. I heard you got married, congratulations! What brings you here, dear?" he asked with sincere glee.

"Nice to see you too, Professor! I'm doing some research" I replied, he frowned and I explained, "Well... I have a friend, she would like to study but the school system is.... limiting."

He laughed and looked at me, "Tell me about it, Cambridge only opened its doors to women two years ago!" he said bitterly, "Before they could only attend courses but would only get a certificate of attendance, now they can have a full degree, although places remain very limited"

"My friend immigrated from Egypt after the war and has no previous qualifications" I continued, showing the point.

He looked at me surprised but quickly recovered, "Well, in '45 at Cambridge they accepted Gloria Cumper as a student, although as I said at the time women were not entitled to have a degree, Miss Cumper will be remembered for being the first black woman to attend Girton College, however this doesn't detract from the fact that it's extremely difficult to be admitted, especially without any other qualifications" he admitted sadly.

"My friend is half British, Professor Johnson"

"Mrs Taylor, I wish I could tell you that ethnicity is not an issue in applications, but we both know that would be a lie. The only way for your friend to get into Cambridge or any of the other universities would be to pass a difficult exam with stellar grades"

I looked down regretting having hoped for even a second that things might be different, Jade had newly learned to read and write English, and as smart as she was, her knowledge was still not enough to pass an entrance exam.

"I could teach her, though" Johnson suggested, and I lifted my head up and looked at him with wide eyes, "What can I say? I'm a widower and retired, I'm bored. I could prepare your friend and she could try the application" he smiled sincerely.

"Neither she nor I have the money to pay you, Professor"

"Oh, Perrie! I don't need money, since my Josephine is gone, I spend my days finding a purpose, maybe your friend can give me one" she smiled sadly.

"I'm sorry for your loss, sir" I told him sympathetically.

"I thank you, dear. Well then, talk to your friend about it and if she accepts, this is the phone number of my house, call me between 6 pm and 8 pm" he took a piece of paper on which he scribbled some numbers and smiled.

"I don't know how to thank you, Professor" I replied feeling my eyes become watery.

"You don't have to, I'm sure it will be fun" he told me with a giggle, "It was nice to see you, Perrie. Say hi to your family for me"

On the way home, I parked the car in the back lot of a large chemical retailer, photography was catching on in those years and although it wasn't common, people were starting to get more and more interested, resulting in shops opening that stocked the products.

I took out the book and started to read it, skipped the instructions part that I would read when the time came and entered the shop with the list of things to buy.

A man greeted me and I handed him the list of products, "Is your husband an enthusiast?" he asked.

"They are for me" I told him confidently, I saw his expression change to one of astonishment and he shook his head contritely.

"This won't be easy" he told me sarcastically.

"How much do I owe you?" I asked him wanting to finish the conversation and get home quickly.

He smiled and told me the total, filled two large bags with the bottles and I left the shop irritated.

Once home, I put everything in Christopher's office, since he had barely been home the room was almost empty and scarcely used, I thought if I could find a way to darken the window I could make it my own camera obscura.

I went back to the living room and began to read the book carefully, writing down all the main information in a notebook. The notions were many and I realised that it would take many trials before I could do no damage, but this only increased my desire to dabble in that new art and experiment.

Without realising it, it was already dinner time, I heard the doorbell and looked at the clock, seeing that it was after 8 o'clock and I had not yet cooked anything.

I went to the door and found Jade holding Jasmine, "Sorry! I didn't realise it was so late already. I haven't prepared anything yet" I told her apologetically.

"Perrieee" Jas screamed when she heard my voice and wiggled in her mother's arms to come into mine, Jade smiled and handed her to me, immediately the little one wrapped her arms around my neck and a smile spread across my face.

"How are you, princess?" I asked her in an affectionate tone.

"Good! I brought Gulliver!" she exclaimed and I saw Jade smiling admiring the scene in front of her.

"How was your day?" I turned to Jade seeing her tired and sleepy eyes, "And where is Norma?" I asked her looking for the elderly Thirlwall.

"The day went well but I'm exhausted" she smiled, "And apparently my mother seems to have found some company" she said allusively and I opened my eyes wide at the statement. Jade laughed at my reaction, "I couldn't believe it either" she admitted embarrassed.

"Sit down and I'll make something quickly" I said still laughing thinking of Norma and her company.

"No, I think instead Jas and I will help you" she said going to the kitchen.

"Honey, you're tired and you've been working all day, I can do that"

"I won't be one of those men who go to work and come home to the perfect little wives waiting for them with a meal ready" she continued and although I was worried about her tiredness, I appreciated the thought.

"Assuming you are not a man, the speech makes no bones" I told her seriously.

A few seconds later we both burst out laughing and saw Jasmine rolling on the floor with laughter even though she probably hadn't understood a word of our speech.

I went to the cooker and started to prepare the food, Jade cut the vegetables while I cooked the meat and Jas watched us the whole time, I saw Jade yawn a few times and asked her to sit down but she refused.

"I was thinking of going to the countryside on Saturday" I told her and saw her face light up as she nodded.

"We should tell Jesy and Leigh too" she suggested and I agreed, "So what did you do today?" she asked.

I smiled thinking back over the day and told her, "I got the film for the camera and went to take some pictures"

"Really?!" she asked excitedly turning to me and smiling at me through her teeth.

"Yes, and I decided I want to try developing here at home, it's not easy but it can be done. I will have to study the technique and do several tests but I can't wait"

"Perrie, this is wonderful! I'm so happy" she smiled.

"All thanks to you" I told her sincerely, "You are my inspiration" I put the lid on the pot and took her face bringing it close to mine and leaving a long kiss on her lips.

"Mummy!" we heard Jasmine scream and pulled away, I panicked and looked at Jade apologetically, "Why are you kissing, Perrie?" the little girl asked.

"Um... Mummy kisses Perrie because she is very fond of her and she makes her happy" Jade finally replied looking at me with emotion and trembling voice.

We both stayed waiting for Jasmine's reaction, eventually the little one smiled at us, "Alright! When do we eat?" she asked innocently.

Jade and I looked at each other and both released a sigh of relief, thanking heaven that her daughter had taken it so well, unaware of what people would say about us if they found out.

I took Jade's hand and looked at her with pure love, watched her do the same and then we both went back to cooking.

A few hours later all three of us were in bed, ready to go to sleep, "Mummy" Jasmine called our attention back and snuggled into Jade's arms, "Will you read to me about Gulliver?" she begged.

"I'm exhausted, love. I promise I will read it tomorrow" she replied heartbroken.

Jasmine got off her and crawled on the bed to my side, she looked at me with hopeful eyes already knowing I would give in, but then she spoke and my heart stopped.

"Mom, will you read me the fairy tale?" I looked wide-eyed at Jasmine and saw Jade snap her head up and look at us, her eyes glazed over, she began to blink trying to hold back her tears and failing.

"Mom?" Jasmine looked at me again, waiting for an answer.

Tears also streaked my face as my heart sped up and I thought it might burst out of my chest.

"Of course, princess" I stammered clutching her in my arms, I looked at Jade who did nothing but smile as she continued to cry touched and I had to clear my throat and take several deep breaths before I began to read.

Jade handed me the book and I opened it to the marked page, with a trembling voice I began to read and felt Jasmine relax in my arms, until only a few minutes later she succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep.

I closed the book and lay still for a few seconds as I felt Jade's hand squeeze mine and intertwine our fingers.

"Did she call me mom?" I asked her stammering still shocked. Jade wiped away her tears and nodded, smiling. "She called me mom" I smiled and felt complete, with the love of my life beside me and the little girl I considered my daughter asleep in my arms.

"Jade" I called her, she looked at me expectantly, I felt the urge to say those three words to her but a lump in my throat prevented me from doing so, "You make me happy too" I finally said to her, I saw her smile and felt that we both knew there was so much more in those words.

Jade came closer and stretched out an arm embracing both Jasmine and me, I looked at her face and with that image etched in my mind I fell asleep finally feeling that I was in the right place.

The next day Jade left early in the morning and I stayed with Jasmine, I made her breakfast and gave her a bath, all morning her sweet laughter filled the otherwise empty house, after lunch and a nap, we went to the park together, I took all her toys and we walked to the fountains, spread a blanket and I let Jasmine explore the park without ever letting her out of my sight.

In my mind her voice calling me mom and the scene from the previous evening played on a loop and each time I found myself smiling more than the previous one remembering the moment.

Jasmine came running back and threw herself into my arms giving me a flower, we played with her dolls and she told me a lot of funny stories about the old lady they lived with. I took out my camera and started taking pictures of the little girl running around admiring all the little things, wanting to learn as soon as possible how to develop the pictures and give them to Jade.

As I was absorbed watching the child run around happily, I heard someone calling me, I turned around and found my mother watching me a few steps away, "Perrie, can we talk, dear?"

I took a deep breath and looked back at Jas and called out to her, not wanting to lose sight of her. She came running back and threw herself into my arms again, "Mom! Mom! I saw a giant horse!" she smiled pointing to a pony not far away from us, I saw my mother's eyes go wide as she watched the scene.

"If you stay here now and play with the dolls, I'll give you a pony ride later. Deal?" I told her, raising my little finger. She smiled and nodded squeezing my finger with her whole little hand and I smiled at her, took her dolls and gave them to her as she sat a few steps away from me and began to play quietly.

I looked at my mother and invited her to take a sit, she sat down on the blanket not far away from me and I took a better look at her face, I saw the dark circles marking her face and her skin greyer, I didn't recognise the bright look I was used to seeing in her and I felt sadness seeing her so tired and distressed.

"How are you?" she asked me softly.

"I... I'm fine, mother" I hesitated, "You?"

"I've seen better days" she admitted. "Perrie, I must apologise to you, I should never have done what I did. I should never have become like your father" she said remorsefully.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and felt tears sting my eyes, "I hope you can forgive me" she carried on and I closed my eyes trying to hold back the tears.

"Mom! Why are you sad?" Jasmine came running and looking at me intently, her eyes, as careful as Jade's and the colour of mine, that could have read my soul, she put her little hands on my cheeks and watched me, I took her in my arms and started tickling her, ignoring the stares of the people around us and especially my mother's.

When Jasmine calmed down and stopped laughing she went back to her game and I went back to looking at the woman in front of me.

"You'll be a wonderful mother" she smiled at me, "You already are" she said looking at Jasmine.

I felt my breath catch at those words, and I looked up at her, "Are you happy?" she asked. I nodded unable to make a sound and saw her smile for the first time with love, "That's all that matters" she finally said.

"What are you saying?" I asked incredulously.

"It's very hard to accept, Perrie, I don't want to lie to you and tell you it's not like that. But I have never seen you as happy as you are with Jade or this sweet kid. It will take me some time, but if you agree I would like the chance to be part of your life again, and maybe even get to know Jade better" she said with a tremor in her voice.

I reflected on her words for a long time and thought that for her time my mother showed great open-mindedness and willingness to change.

"I'll have to talk to Jade about it" I finally replied, "But I appreciate it" I told her gratefully, she nodded and made to stand up, "Do you want to stay a few more minutes? I'll take Jasmine on that horse and we'll go for a walk" I told her before she left.

"I'd like that" she smiled with watery eyes.

"Princess! Ready for the ride?" I shouted looking at Jas. She stood up and did a funny little dance on herself that made both me and my mother laugh, then ran over to me and took my hand.

"Readyyy!" 

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A/N - Hope you enjoyed and see you at the next update! Feedbacks are always appreciated so, if you want, comment and share! ❤️

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Thank you for reading and take care 🌈🍪

- C