Chapter 15 - Bleeding Out

The next day comes around, Jason waking up first and it's the first full night's rest he's gotten since coming back. It wasn't exactly the best sleep he's ever gotten, given his general discomfort but it was a lot better than how he has been. And there's a smile that comes to his face as Sam is still cuddled into his side, his arm draped around her shoulders. For a second, he thinks they could just stay like this. He doesn't really feel too bad right now so they could just stay like this. Forget everything about Crane and the Titans, they can exist how they were before. It feels like it did then anyway. But, Jason knows that can't happen. Not yet.

With a clear head and some sleep, he knows he needs to make it right with everyone else. He wants to go home. He doesn't want to spend his life hiding out and making Sam hide with him. That's not fair to either of them. That's not fair to Gar either or Molly. Jason wants his own life back. It's time he takes it back into his own hands and that means asking Sam to talk to Dick when she wakes up.

Jason lets out a steady breath, carefully trying to move out from under Sam but it ends up stirring her awake slightly, earning him a groan.

"Stay." Sam mutters. "Tired." Sam's hand slides over Jason's torso until she reaches his side where she grips the excess fabric of his hoodie.

Jason's chest rumbles beneath her with a chuckle. He rests his chin on top of her head instead of kissing her like he'd normally do. The smile starts to fall short as the chuckle subsides.

"When was the last time you slept?" He asks quietly.

"When was the last time you slept?" Sam asks right back, keeping her eyes closed.

"Asked you first." Jason quips back, subconsciously pulling her closer into him.

He gets a low hum from her. "Dunno."

Jason moves his hand from her back up to her shoulder, his fingers lightly tracing over her shoulder. His heart weighs heavy in his chest, knowing a large part of her lack of sleep is because of him. Maybe staying in bed all day isn't such a bad idea.

"You need to sleep." Jason says, his voice caught somewhere between stern and worried.

His tone gets Sam to finally peek her eyes open and look up at him. Jason moves his head from hers as Sam tilts her up just enough to get a look at him. His brows are tugged together, his forehead creasing with lines of worry. So many days and nights were spent like this but it was always Sam wearing the look of worry for him, not the other way around. This is normally when he'd give her a half-cocked grin and he'd kiss her, offering a false sense of reassurance when he would not be sleeping any better that same night. Sam doesn't have the same option though so she dodges his eyes and tilts her head back down.

"I know." She says quietly. "So do you."

Jason lets out a breath, resting his head back on hers. "I know."

The room falls silent with Jason's words. There's something stiff and hollowed in the air surrounding them. Every unsaid word lingers like smog but neither of them can bring themselves to do anything about it. Instead, Jason's fingers trace along her shoulder and Sam's thumb runs along his side. They let the weight of the silence swallow them whole, running through all of the guilt and shame that's led them here.

It's comforting, being here like this like it should be. But, so much has happened that both of them think they've set themselves up for failure. With each other. Sam broke his trust and Jason is already one of the least trusting people she's ever met. Even if he finds it in himself to forgive her, she isn't so sure she can forgive herself for it. And Jason's thinking of everything he could have done differently and how he'd love to lay like this forever with her, as if nothing happened but he can't. He could have killed her and he left her. She begged him to stay and he left. He betrayed her and he swears she should never forgive him for any of it, but if she does, he doesn't think he'll ever forgive himself for it. For any of this. So, the two of them sit in silence.

Sam listens to the beating of Jason's heartbeat and she almost expected it to not be there or for it to be different somehow. But, it's the same as it always was and it was always comforting. A reminder that she is alive and so is he. After everything, they were the ones that made it out alive and he is here, with her, strong and unmoving, safe. It's still comforting in that same way, but this time, Sam appreciates it a little bit more because he did not make it alive. So, she counts his heartbeats.

"You awake?" Jason asks.

"Mhm." Sam hums.

"Do you think you could talk to Dick?" Jason asks, his voice just above a whisper. "I'm done with Crane's shit and I don't feel too bad today. I just wanna go home with you...and everyone else."

Sam looks up at him quickly, brows raised in surprise. "Really? Like...you mean it?"

Jason nods. "Yeah, think he'll go for it, though?"

Sam offers him a warm smile as she sits all the way up. Sam turns to face him sitting with her legs crossed, her left knee lightly resting on his thigh. "Yeah, I think so. I'll talk to him."

"Can you see if he'll meet me somewhere, just him and me?" Jason asks, earning a look of suspicion from Sam. "Not gonna fucking kill him, alright? Just to talk, swear."

Sam nods her head, running a hand through his white streak of hair. "Yeah, I can. I'm sure he'll do it as long as he's like fine. He did get hit by a car..." Sam furrows her brows, slowly remembering that did in fact happen last night.

"Yeah, what a dumbass." Jason lets out a scoff.

"Uh-huh, right, do you need a list of dumb things you've done since I met you because..." Sam teases him with the scrunch of her nose.

"I don't do dumb shit!" Jason defends with a laugh. "I've never been hit by a fucking car."

"You said you rode a motorcycle in the manor? That was dumb."

"That doesn't fucking count. You said since you met me." Jason holds his head up with confidence.

"Smartass." Sam huffs. "You made a bet with a complete stranger who could have killed you for all you know. And then lost. Your side of the bet was to let it slide this one time. That was also dumb. Two in one shot." Sam gestures a hand at him lazily with the light shake of her head.

"Hey!" Jason scoffs. "First of all, babe, you couldn't kill me now if you tried." Jason offers his toothy smirk right back at her. "I was just trying to get laid, earn brownie points, ya know?" Jason fires right back, almost trying to get under her skin just as he's done a thousand times but he watches as a genuine happy smile starts to crack across her face.

Sam bursts out laughing. Sam can't tell if he's serious but she has to think he definitely is. "Thinking with your dick, I see." Sam mocks him. "So, that's three in one shot."

Jason's cheeks start to tint a pretty shade of red as he sits up, pointing a finger right at her. "Okay, no you know what, let's look at your track record, huh?"

"Oh, no, that is perfectly fine. We do not have to." Sam shakes her head looking down and then back at him, knowing he's not gonna let this go.

"You put the stick of butter in the water of your mac and cheese." Jason blinks at her, the corner of his mouth turned up into something cheeky and arrogant.

"That was one fucking time and I was tired!" Sam defends.

"I've never done that." Jason mutters, mocking her.

"You were harassing me!" Sam scoffs in disbelief.

Jason tilts his head back with a laugh. "Not me. I didn't do shit. That was your own mistake. Don't blame me." Jason gestures a hand towards himself, his smile wide and toothy.

"You were throwing shit at me to see if I could dodge them quick enough and you'd fucking yell ten points whenever you hit me!" Sam can't help but laugh as she remembers the day in the kitchen. It became a regular thing and Jason always claimed it was extra training but Sam is pretty sure he just liked to fuck with her anyway. And in any way he possibly could. Sam thought it was fun though because he'd get all pissy and annoyed if Sam dodged whatever he was throwing more than five times.

"Keeping you on your toes, babe." Jason nods his head with confidence, the grin so wide it might as well light up the entire room.

Sam blinks at him a few times, shaking her head once. "Okay, uh you tried to show off by showing me something Bruce taught you while we were walking down the stairs which made you fall down the stairs." Sam points out, nodding her head quickly as she matches the grin on Jason's face.

Jason chuckles softly, his cheeks burning red. He doesn't think he's ever been so embarrassed. "Looked cool though, didn't it?"

"No." Sam chortles. "You looked like a fish out of water."

"Fuck you!" Jason huffs, a beaming smile on his lips. "You broke your phone because Bruce walked in during Sinister and scared shit out of you so you threw your phone instead of a knife."

Sam nods her head. "How the fuck did I even do that?" Sam shakes her head through a loud laugh. "We can go back to talking about Dick being dumb." Sam offers him a smirk before it falls short. "Actually, I should probably make sure he didn't...like die or something." Sam offers Jason a yikes expression as she reaches for her phone on the opposite side of the bed. Sam unlocks her phone to see a few texts from Gar. "Oh, fun!" Sam says sarcastically.

"What?" Jason raises a brow at her.

"Tim, yeah, he knows you're Robin, Dick was Robin and is now Nightwing, Bruce is Batman, and I'm Bluejay." Sam nods her head, blinking at Jason. "And he confronted Dick last night before he got hit by a car. Showed up a the manor."

Jaso lets out a choked chuckle. "Wish I could have seen the look on his face." The chuckle comes to a stop as he realizes what Sam has just said. "Wait. How the fuck does he even know that?"

"Same! I can't believe we missed it." You roll your eyes. "It's a long story, I didn't tell him though." Sam shrugs her shoulders. "It's Dick's fault but you're not exactly helping at the moment though cause like...he knows you died and now...you're not dead. So...batboys." Sam rolls her eyes, giving Jason a teasing grin before looking back to her phone. Jason's eyes narrow, but he is realizing that yeah, people who know Sam would know he died and now he's alive and walking around. He sees how that would be weird and a little difficult to explain. "Gar said Dick is fine though." Sam nods her head before she types away at a text back.

"Good." Jason sucks in a breath, stretching for the first time. "What did you tell Tim about me being alive?"

"Oh, uh, well...uh, you see..." Sam chuckles awkwardly. "That you died and now you're alive."

Jason stares at her for a few seconds. "Right, and he said?"

"I don't remember...but, he was confused and wanted more answers. But he thought I was lying about it so I like...did not have a choice but to tell him. He literally saw you so...he knows you're alive." Sam gives him an open mouth, sarcastic grin as she offers him jazz hands.

Jason can't help but laugh softly. "Awesome, I guess." Jason sucks in a breath.

"He won't tell anyone. If anyone else asks any questions, could just say it was like...a hit or something to hurt Bruce and so Bruce sent you into hiding and didn't tell me to keep me out of it." Sam explains, putting her phone into her hoodie pocket. "Thought of that lie like ten minutes after I told Tim."

"That's better than telling everyone I was Robin." Jason lets out a scoff, rolling his shoulders.

Sam watches the uneasiness wash over his face. Robin might be a rough subject right about now and she can't say she blames him. She knows she has some resentment towards the mantle now. She wonders if he does or if it's a Bruce thing or a Joker thing or a he died thing. Maybe it's everything but his face falls and the smile vanishes from his lips while his shoulders sulk. So, she changes subject.

"Good." Jason sucks in a breath, stretching for the first time.

"What're you gonna do while I talk to Dick?" Sam questions softly.

"Wait, I guess." Jason chuckles softly. "I don't know."

"You could clean." Sam offers a teasing smile as she looks around the room. "Kind of messy."

"I've been a little busy in case you forgot." Jason quips right back.

"I know but now you're not." Sam shrugs. "Are you sure you feel okay?"

"Yeah." Jason nods confidently. "Surprisingly, feel alright. I guess Crane's drug has a short withdrawal process." He still has a little bit of a headache and his skin still feels like it could peal off his bones, but it's not nearly as bad as it was yesterday.

"Good." Sam smiles softly before sucking in a breath. The quicker she talks to Dick, the quicker they can get Jason actually home which also means there's less of a chance of him, somehow, falling back into Crane's hands. As much as she would love to keep talking with him and joking with him, she also doesn't want him to change his mind on coming home. "Well, I'm gonna head out and see about talking to Dick. Need to get a feel for his mood and see if I...well, if Gar can do anything to brighten him up."

"Because you will only piss him off further." Jason quips as the smile comes back to his face, not as bright as before but at least it's there.

"It is one of my favorite pastimes and I just can't help it. Neither can you." Sam laughs softly before she moves to the end of the bed and gets to her feet. "Uh, if you need anything though, just...let me know and I'll come back."

"Thank you again...for everything." Jason gives her a sad nod.

"Of course, Jay." Sam smiles back. "Okay, I'll text you?" She questions. "And see you later then." Sam nods her head a few times before turning on her heels and leaving Jason alone in the room.

On the way back to the manor, Sam thinks about maybe not talking to Jason about everything. It's probably a bad idea and not very healthy either. But, last night and this morning felt good and normal and safe and if they talk, that goes away. It has to, even if it's just for a little while. Nothing has felt normal or safe or good in two weeks. In the grand scheme of time, that's not very long but Sam swears it feels like it's been an entire year. She doesn't want to have to talk about how he died and she found him. She doesn't want to have to talk about everything they've said to each other in the last week or how much they've hurt each other. She doesn't want to talk about any of it because maybe if they don't, they can live in a bubble where it doesn't have to hurt so damn much all the time.

But, maybe living in their own little bubble, avoiding the idea of the very worst whenever it would come up, is how they ended up in agonizing pain in the first place.

When Sam gets back to the manor, she's met by Gar as she walks into the living room. Conner and Blackfire are cuddled on the couch, talking quietly between each other. Sam eyes them for a second, confused when that happened and she gestures a finger towards them, glancing to Gar. They're cute together but she did not see that coming. Gar just shakes his head, offering a soft smile.

"Okay." Sam sucks in a breath, shaking her head. "Dick around?"

"Batcave." Gar lets out a breath. Gar eyes Sam softly, noticing she looks a little more rested than she has since he's been in Gotham. A part of him was really worried her going with Jason would be bad because of how messed up everything has been. But, she looks like she actually got some sleep for once and she doesn't look like she's ready to kill someone at any minor inconvenience. "How's Jason?"

"He in like...a good mood? Dick, I mean." Sam questions carefully. "Yeah, uh, he's okay. He said...he's okay anyway which in Jason terms also means he's probably on the verge of an aneurysm at any given moment but he feels okay enough." Sam nods her head quickly but she doesn't look too relieved. For someone who has only wanted Jason to be okay, Gar finds that a bit off.

"I mean, he got hit by a car so he's not happy." Gar says softly. "Did something else happen?"

"Yeah..." Sam clears her throat. "And uh...no. No...nothing happened." Sam looks to the ground for a few seconds, her heart heavy before she looks back to Gar. "Walk with me?"

"Sure." Gar smiles softly before the two of them make their way to the Batcave. "What's up?"

Sam chews the inside of her cheek and she knows Gar is going to tell her to suck it up and have the damn conversation. She could practically give herself the damn speech herself but she's thinking of asking anyway. Maybe hearing it from Gar, will convince her to just talk to him, properly. It'll be kind of like the decision is off of her shoulders for once because it's Gar's advice. Whatever would happen because of that conversation wouldn't be Gar's fault, but it would be nice to not make the entire decision.

"You like to talk like that's your thing. How to work through your shit, you tell everyone to talk about their shit, which I realize you like...never do? So, you should also be doing that. But, uh, that's always your advice...so you think we really have to talk?" Sam scrunches her nose, glancing at Gar.

"Uh..." Gar stutters, trying to piece together Sam's run-on sentence. "You and me...? Or is this actually about you and Jason?"

"Jason." Sam sucks in a breath. "Unless...you wanna talk about you and me I mean, we can?"

"No, it's fine." Gar chuckles softly, brushing it off. Of course, he thinks they should talk. A lot of the pain they caused each other could have been solved through Json being sober and them having a conversation instead of fighting. Not talking seems like it'll only cause the both of them more pain and more problems. They were always better when they talked to each other, really talked. "I mean, you guys fought each other and then he almost got you killed...twice." Gar cringes softly. "Do you really think not talking about that is a good idea?"

"No." Sam huffs bitterly. "But I was hoping you'd say it'd all be okay and we don't have to." Sam lets out a deep sigh, one that sounds of defeat and fear.

"What happened?"

"Felt normal this morning...last night." Sam shrugs her shoulders. "But, the second we start talking about everything that happened since he died...it's like...everything that's happened becomes permanent and real. I don't want either of those things. I just want to go back to how it was."

"It is real and permanent regardless on if you talk about it." Gar shrugs his shoulders. "He died. He came back and became Red Hood. That happened. You not talking about it doesn't make it unreal. But, you could talk about it and still go back to how it was."

"How?" Sam sucks in a breath. "He read to me last night and it was just...so nice and it didn't feel so heavy. And this morning, we woke up together and it was like I could breathe again. I don't want that to go away. But, I don't know where he's gonna stand after all of this and I...I don't think I want to know."

They always say ignorance is bliss and Sam didn't always agree with that because why would someone want to stay willfully ignorant? Why would someone not want to know the answer to something? The answer might save them pain and heartbreak and time. But, now she's here and suddenly, she gets it because not knowing is almost better. If she doesn't know, she can pretend it's all fine and then it doesn't hurt. It's okay with her if it's a waste of her own time and effort and energy. It's okay if it hurts later as long as it doesn't hurt now.

"You didn't want to know how he really felt before and if you two would have just talked, you'd have been together sooner." Gar states simply. "You told me once that you felt like you could talk to Jason about what happened to you and he could talk to you about the same. This stuff still happened...so you should talk about it." Gar offers her a reassuring nod.

"Yeah, I know." Sam scoffs and she knows he's right. Talking about everything bad that happened to them, outside of each other, was always easy and it always felt safe. Maybe it's because the other person was at a distance from the damage of it. Sam knows they never really talked about the kidnapping aspect of being held captive by Deathstroke. It always felt too heavy because she was so scared of losing him and she thinks, maybe it was the same for him. This is a little different but he did die and that's real. And it's scary and painful. "I am just...so mad at myself for what I said to him. While I was high...while I wasn't." Sam shakes her head. "We'd have to talk about that and he's gonna look at me...in that way and I just...I don't want him to look at me like that again."

"Didn't he tell you that you were a mistake?" Gar asks bluntly. "It sucks what you said but you're the one who showed up anyway and I'm sure he feels like shit over what he said to you, too. You two avoiding it isn't going to do either of you any good."

"What if that ends up being the end though? Like what if we both can't forgive ourselves for it and then...that's just it?" Sam's voice grows quiet and maybe she's really just worried, at the end of the conversation, it'll be over for good. She broke up with him and that's on her, but she kind of thought maybe they'd fix things. Now though, she's worried, that somehow talking about it will lead them to a path where it can't be fixed.

"Do you want to be in a relationship with someone when you can't talk about the things that hurt you?" Gar asks. "Look, you two are my best friends and I like you guys together but..." Gar pauses, his steps coming to a stop as Sam stops to face him. "If you guys can't forgive yourselves but you forgive each other, maybe you do need space. That's not gonna be fair to either one of you. It doesn't have to be end though."

"I'm terrified it will be. I mean..." Sam offers a sad smile. "I don't know."

"Did he say something?"

"He wants to come home. Told me to sleep." Sam tugs the sleeves of her hoodie over her hands.

"He wants to come home?" Gar asks with a genuine smile this time. "You do need to sleep." Gar agrees.

"Yeah, that's why I'm talking to Dick. I know." Sam sucks in a breath before she turns around, Gar keeping up with her.

"For what it's worth, I think you guys will figure it out. You were good together." Gar offers a soft smile.

"Thanks, Gar." Sam offers a thankful smile back, hoping maybe it's just her general pessimism that's getting to her. Maybe it's just because it felt so good to be with him and now she's just over thinking the whole thing. She's been known to do that a time or two. Gar isn't usually wrong, anyway.

The two of them finish their walk into the Batcave, finding Kory and Dick at the Batcomputer. Sam's glad to see Dick is even on his feet, maybe it was just a concussion.

"You're back." Kory says with delight. "Everything okay?"

Sam nods quickly. "Yeah, yeah." Sam looks to Dick. "Um...I just, came to talk to Dick for a second. It's all fine." Sam nods her head.

Kory and Gar look between each other and ten to Dick before they excuse themselves. Dick is already preparing himself for whatever bullshit Sam is about to throw his way.

"What?" Dick asks, earning an eyebrow raise from Sam. "Whenever you want to talk it's never good. You also left me in the middle of the street last night." Dick crosses his arms, clearly displeased.

"Um...I called the ambulance and texted Kory and Gar. You were fine." Sam snarks back. "You ran off and went to bed after literally being shot by a sniper. I'm sorry I assumed you'd be fine when you were hit by a car doing like fifteen miles an hour while you had on a helmet and your bike took the brunt of the force." Sam quips blinking at him quickly. In her defense, if someone is going to go to bed after being shot, she has every right to believe they would be fine in most other circumstances. But, she called an ambulance and he's fine. "So...about Jason."

Dick nearly groans at the mention. "What about him?"

"He wants to come home."

Dick shakes his head in disbelief. "What?"

"That's what he said. He asked me if I could talk to you about it and see if you'd meet up with him. He swore it's not to fight or kill you or anything. He just wants to talk. He's clean and he feels better today." Sam explains, tugging her sleeves over her hands.

Dick lets out a breath, putting his hand on his hip. He's still weighed down by the guilt of the fallout in San Francisco. He knows he can't say no. "Do you think he means it? Not because you care about him or because you're on his side. I need to know."

"Yes." Sam answers. "I can always tell when he's lying and he'd never drag me into that, not like this. Not when he's clean. He'd never want your blood to end up on my hands because he had me set it up. And I don't want you dead. Jason could have killed you last night and he didn't. I really think he's done and he just wants to come home." Sam lets out a breath, seeing the torn look on Dick's face.

It's more than Jason being his brother and some sort of weird obligation to Bruce because it's Dick's turn to redeem himself from Deathstroke and to make a better effort. But, he also has the rest of the Titans to think about and Jason did kill one of them. Him being manipulated and drugged, doesn't make that any better or any more justifiable.

"You promised." Sam says quietly, still holding onto her belief that promises should mean something, even if she broke the biggest one she could.

"He killed Hank."

"Yeah," Sam nods sadly. "And I swear, that wasn't him. I know it's really hard to understand, but it wasn't. It doesn't make it right, but...I don't think we should give up." Sam feels like she's almost holding her breath because she never thought Dick would ever really say no. She never really imagined Dick throwing in the towel but she's wondering if he's at that point.

It did not feel good when everyone gave up on him, everyone besides Sam and Gar. Dick thinks he deserved it, absolutely. He lied and got a kid killed. It was his idea to use Jericho as bait and it got him killed. He deserved but it hurt anyway. And Dick was in his right mind when all of that happened. Dick dropped Jason from a skyscraper and the only reason he even walked out is because Dick lied. Jason wasn't even going to give up. Who is Dick to give up now when he knows the Jason they've been dealing with has been under the influence of a powerful drug and a master manipulator?

"Okay." Dick nods his head. "I'll have to talk to the Titans."

Sam lets out a breath, nodding quickly. "I know."

"They won't like it."

"Can I be there? Maybe me and Gar can offer a voice of a reason. I took the drug so I know and Gar killed people because of CADMUS so...I mean. Kind of the same thing. And Conner almost killed Gar and Jason and you all almost killed Gar and--"

"I get it, thank you." Dick cuts Sam off, really not needing or wanting to recap of the horrible things that have happened. "Fine. I'll meet with Jason and see how it goes." Dick nods his head. "I need to talk you about Tim anyway."

"Oh, Gar told me." Sam laughs softly. "Told you so."

"Yeah, it's not funny." Dick scolds. "Is he ever going to stop?"

"Nope." Sam shakes her head. "He's pretty pissed about his dad, like rightfully so. But, he also knows he's right." Sam lets out a scoff but a smile sticks to her face. Is it bad Tim knows? Yeah, but Sam still finds it amusing and impressive. If it were up to her, she'd just tell Tim anyway. "Why'd he even confront you anyway?"

"He wants to be Robin." Dick blinks at her, fully unassumed. "Any idea where he got that idea?" Dick shifts his weight to his left leg, giving Sam an accusatory look.

"Tim is proactive?" Sam questions with the shrug of her shoulder. "He's fucking nuts though. I didn't tell him shit, alright? If he ever told me he wanted to be Robin, I would have gone to hell and back to talk him out of it."

Sam doesn't think anyone should end up like Jason or Dick. Maybe it was never Jasn that was cursed or Dick that was the monster, maybe it was always Robin. Maybe that mantle is just...too much. It changes people, makes them desperate and turns them into versions of themselves they can't even live with. It's too much pressure. Sam doesn't really think anyone should take the mantle again.

"Great." Dick lets out a sigh. "Okay, while I'm trying to talk to Jason and make sure he's serious about this, I need you to trail Tim. Keep him out of it."

"Why?" Sam scoffs. "I mean, I've been the fighting the whole damn time to get Jason back and now that he's ready, you want me to take a backseat?"

"You're friends with Tim. Do you really want Tim anywhere near this? His dad was just shot because you involved him and he showed up here."

"Ouch." Sam rolls her eyes. "How do you even know he's going to be trying to follow you guys anyway? What if he doesn't? Then, I'm just wasting my time while you and the Titans are planning fuck knows what."

"He had pictures of us." Dick states. "This is personal for him now. I need you to trust me with Jason."

"Yeah, that's a pretty heavy ask there, Dickolas given everything that's happened here." Sam huffs. "Making me pick between Tim and Jason." Sam rolls her eyes. Jason just wants to talk to Dick anyway and maybe it's better if they do it one-on-one. Sam mostly just wanted to be there in case something hits the fan. It is Dick and Jason so the odds of that happening are a lot higher than her personal comfort. But, maybe it'll be better that way. Jason has always been able to hold his own anyway and she does have to trust Dick if he has to trust her. "Fine.

"It won't be me that messes things up."

"Right, okay." Sam says sarcastically. "I'm gonna let him know you'll meet and I'll tell you where and when. Then, I'll go find Tim, I fucking guess." Sam tosses her hands up dramatically before she leaves Dick on his own.

While Dick meets in the tunnels with Jason, Sam does as asked, meeting up with Tim. She finds there's a sort of irony in the whole situation since she just told Tim a few days ago it was weird that he was basically stalking the Titans and now Dick is literally having her stalk him. It's ridiculous but Dick has a point and Sam knows it. So, she hangs around with him for a few hours until Dick calls for a meeting with all of the Titans, Sam included. He wants to discuss what happened with Jason and the very idea of having to sit with everyone makes Sam want to chew her own arm off.

"What?" Kory yells after Dick finishes explaining that Jason is clean now and he just wants to come home, to be with his friends again. He swears it was all the drug and Crane, but his mind is clear now. "He kidnapped kids. He made that woman snap her own neck."

Sam looks to Kory and her heart falls. Not again and she doesn't want to argue with Kory. But this is the only thing she's wanted since he died. Dick is the leader and at the end of the day, it's up to him. Everyone else can protest but if Dick says he can come, he can home. However, Sam chews her cheek and pulls her sleeves over his hands because Jason wants to come home to a place that feels warm and safe and like home, but it won't feel like that if the only people who want him around are Sam and Gar.

He said he wasn't brought back because he was wanted.

"So, we're just gonna set an extra place at the dinner table?" Connor questions. "Oh, hey, Jay, pass the mashed potatoes."

"Hey!" Sam yells as she snaps her attention to Conner. "Watch it." She threatens, teeth gritting together with narrowed eyes. She will argue with Conner.

"He's offering to turn himself in and bring in Crane." Dick defends his stance.

"This is bullshit." Kory says. "You're forgiving a murderer."

Sam tugs her sleeves down some more because she thought Kory was the understanding one of Dick and Kory. But, apparently not. Gar said Blackfire killed their parents. But, Jason is manipulated and drugged into killing people and that's wrong? Sam's killing people and no one has brought that up in a few days. It's just an issue when it's Jason. What else is new?

"We need Crane." Dick says calmly.

"I kill people." Sam defends. "None of you are too mad about that anymore. I killed some of CADMUS, some people here. And I wasn't even high or being manipulated. Twice was in self-defence but the other times, I don't feel too bad about." Sam argues.

"What if all the killing was Scarecrow?" Gar interjects as he looks around the room and Sam is relieved Gar is taking a stand with her. She's tired of fighting alone.

"No, he needs to be held accountable." Dick shackles his head.

"You didn't hold me accountable when CADMUS took me over, made me a killer." Gar protests. "You guys all took me back, no questions asked because we're family." Gar stands up, looking around the room. "Jason deserves the same chance." Gar says softly while Sam gives him a smile. "Sam said it was the drug and I believe her and I believe Jason." Gar shrugs his shoulders casually and normally he would think Kory would be right but not this time.

This is Jason. The same person he calls his best friend, the same person who had a room right down the hall from him for months. The same person he talks to nearly every day. Gar died once and he came back all the same with all of his broken pieces perfectly fitted back together and held together by the love and care of the Titans. He has to believe that if a demon can bring him back to life and he's still fine, then Jason can be brought back via Lazurus pit and still be himself. The Jason before wasn't a cold-blooded killer. He should be given the same chance that Gar and Sam and Blackfire and Conner are given.

Sam stands up this time, standing right beside Gar. "I killed some of CADMUS without being influenced by anything and none of you ever questioned that. Dick yelled at me for killing those guys here but that was it. Kory, you've killed people. You and Dick almost killed Gar because of Trigon. I'm telling you guys, you don't know what that drug does but I do and I'm telling you, that shit was not Jason. It was all the drug and Crane." Sam keeps her voice level, hoping this won't escalate into an argument since even Gar is speaking up on Jason's behalf.

"Alright, we bring them both in and after that, we assess the situation." Dick says as he crosses his arms, trying his best to do what's best for everyone and keep everyone happy.

Sam and Gar look at each other, clearly not happy with the response. They both know the only reason this discussion is being had is because it's Jason. If it were anyone else, they would have been welcomed back and there would be understanding of the situation but not this time. It's starting to drive them both insane.

"I've never met the guy but I'm bullish on second chances." Blackfire says from the back as she leans forward in her seat. Gar and Sam gain large smiles, holding their head high as they look to Dick.

"We'll see how it goes." Dick remains firm but there's something about the way he uncrosses his arms and shifts his weight to his right that Sam and Gar gain a little hope. "Batcave, five minutes." Dick before as the room dispurses. "Sam." Dick calls before she can walk off with Gar.

Sam rolls her eyes at Gar before he leaves, too. She realizes it really is never good when the two of them have some sort of private conversation and she is not in the mood for it today.

"Yes?" Sam questions sarcastically.

"How did it go with Tim?"

"Oh, he is not giving up for shit." Sam states as she nods her head.

"Did you tell him anything?" Dick asks. "He found me before I was going into the tunnels."

"You should really be more secretive." Sam squints her eyes at him. "No, I didn't tell him. Do you think I'm just gonna start spilling because he's right?" Sam scoffs as she laughs. "I told him he was wrong and to drop it and then he did not do that."

"Okay, well, keep an eye on him tonight while we meet Jason." Dick states.

Sam pauses, shaking her head in disbelief as if to be processing what he just said. He can't be serious. "What?" Sam asks bluntly. "No, I'm going with tonight."

"No, you're not. You're going to stay with Tim, make sure he's not following us."

Tim definitely was following and waiting for Dick today before Sam found him. Tim also made it very clear he was not going to be giving up on this whole Robin thing any time soon. Dick might have a point that Tim could follow them but the way Sam sees it is that it shouldn't be her job to babysit him. The Titans could just be more careful and not be seen. This involves Jason so she should get to go with and Gar could go hang out with Tim. It might be weird but Tim is stalking them so it's not the weirdest thing in the world at the moment.

"No, I'm going. This is about Jason. The fuck can't I go with for now?"

"We want to also bring in Crane and Jason is giving him up but we still don't know what Crane has been planning. You want him dead. If it comes to it and we need to bring Jason in, I know you won't let us." Dick states, crossing his arms again. "Tim is your friend."

"First of all, I can withhold my killing urges for now, thank you. And second, yes. Because none of us had to be brought in for the shit we've done, like we just said. But, you shouldn't need to bring him since he's not looking for a fight this time." Sam almost whines through this whole thing. It's just so damn frustrating.

"That's why you're going to be looking after Tim. This is Titans business." Dick's voice is stern and unmoving. "You said you're done with being a Titan."

"That's shit and you know it." Sam scoffs, knowing she's going to go anyway and there's nothing Dick can say or do to stop her, so she caves. "Fine, but he better be here when I get back tonight." Sam glares up at Dick before she walks past him to find Gar.

Sam takes off fifteen minutes before the Titans with Dick thinking she was going to go look after Tim. If she were being honest, she's not entirely sure why Dick actually thinks she's going to listen. This involves her and it involves her favorite person on the planet. Of course, she'll go toe-to-toe with the Titans if she needs to, that's just how it is. But, she also knows Jason is being honest with wanting to come home so the only way this would go south is if the Titans started shit. Since Dick didn't want her there, it sends a red flag that maybe something is going to happen and she won't be there. So, she leaves before them, giving Jason the heads up she'd meet him there.

But, when Sam gets to the pump station, she doesn't immediately find Jason. That would have been too simple. Instead, she finds Tim and she has never been so glad to not be wearing her suit. That would have been a lot harder to explain.

"Tim?" Sam calls as Tim is walking a few feet ahead of her, getting closer to the building.

Tim turns around, seeing Sam jog up towards him. "What're you doing here?" He asks.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asks back, stuffing her hands into the pouch of her hoodie. Tim raises an eyebrow at her, almost as if saying he's not going to say if she won't. "Exploring. Your turn."

"Following Jason." Tim shrugs casually before he continues to walk towards the building, Sam right beside him.

On the one hand, Dick was wrong about Tim following a Titan. On the other hand, he did follow someone and now he's here anyway and had she just followed Tim, this whole thing would have been avoided. She really hates when Dick is right, even if it's by accident.

"You really need to stop this stalking shit, it's weird as shit, dude." Sam quips back. "Why are you following Jason?" Sam's voice is exasperated. Why can't anything just go as planned?

"I wanna meet Robin and find out what led Robin to getting my dad shot. I wanna be the next Robin so I need to talk to him." Tim says confidently. "It was his mantle."

Sam stops for just a few seconds, her brows pulling together. Oh, he's like really serious about being Robin? He's completely insane. Which, would actually fit the whole Robin thing. It seems a little bit of insanity is needed but this is nuts. Why would anyone actually want to be the third Robin? Because the first two really worked out so fucking well?

"I...am lost." Sam says softly, catching up with Tim. "Why the fuck would you want to be the next Robin?" Sam nearly scoffs and she hadn't realized it, but the name almost burns her tongue now.

"Gotham needs a Robin. Jason isn't gonna be Robin, clearly. Dick is a Titan and Nightwing now. You have Bluejay. We need a Robin and I can do it." Tim tugs the strap of his backpack over his shoulder.

"I wish I had your confidence." Sam mutters. "So, Robin gets brutally murdered and your response is to become Robin? Don't you think that shit is fucked? Like...you want shit to happen to you?" Sam asks and she's thinking she'll have to make talking Tim out of this her next mission.

"It's not about me." Tim shrugs. "It's about Gotham, the greater good of Gotham. Someone has to step up and it can be me. I'll take the risk to help other people."

It would be a lie if Sam didn't find it admirable. Sam still hates Bruce but yeah, the whole Batman and Robin thing, it's admirable. Risking their lives for other people is admirable. But, it's also fucking stupid. Sam is aware she is doing that now, too but to some extent she thinks she has a death wish anyway. Maybe all vigilantes have some sort of death wish for one reason or another.

It wasn't entirely her choice though. She just has powers and the training fell into her lap. If she has those abilities, wouldn't it be wrong not to use them to help people? But, Tim isn't a meta human. He's just some kid who works at his parents' restaurant. He's not Dick or Jason or Hank or Dawn. In the best way, he isn't them. He shouldn't put himself in the mix of this.

"That's...admirable and incredibly fucking stupid." Sam scoffs bluntly. "Dude, fuck that vigilante shit. You're not obligated to it."

"Like you?" Tim quips back.

"Still not who you think I am, I just got tired of repeating myself and you wanting to be Robin seemed like a more interesting conversation." Sam lets out a breath. "You don't want to be Robin." Sam says quietly.

"Someone has to do it. I can." Tim huffs.

Sam shakes her head, rolling her eyes. "Signing your own death certificate." Sam lets out a bitter scoff as the two of them round the corner of the building.

But, then Sam's heart sinks as the two of them come to stop seeing Crane exit the building on the landing a few steps above them. A gun rests on the landing right at Crane's feet as he gains this subtle but eerie smile. Sam watches him carefully, knowing Crane can't be too happy with her right about now. He had Jason tied up, Jason only came by for the drug and Crane isn't an idiot. Sam thinks maybe he knows she turned Jason.

Crane takes a few steps towards the stairs, standing closer to the gun. Sam knows she can't beat him to it but she also knows if she throws a knife, Dick is going to kill her. There has to be a reason he picked this pump station and they don't know what that reason is yet. There is also Tim to think about. Crane is insane and any wrong move makes Tim a target, too if he isn't already. But, Sam has to do something. 

Sam slowly moves to stand right in front of Tim, using her arm to lightly nudge him backward.

Crane lets out this sigh that almost sounds like one of disappointment. "It didn't have to end this way." Crane offers Sam an unsettling false-sorrowed filled frown as his fingers dance over the gun.

And that's when the throbbing right in the front of her head starts.

Sam spins around, hands coming to Tim's shoulder as panic washes over her eyes. "Run! Go now!" Sam shoves Tim, grabbing a knife from her belt just as she's turning around.

But, as soon as she's fully facing Crane and the knife is leaving her fingers, the gun fires. The shot rings across the lot and the bullet connects to Sam's right shoulder. The impact of the bullet and the shock of being hit sends her to the ground, screaming out in pain just as another gunshot echoes over the lot.

Searing pain radiating down her arm and through her chest. The wind feels like it's been knocked from her lungs as she desperately tries to gasp for breath. The back of her head is throbbing from the smack to the pavement and the front is throbbing again. Her eyes slam shut as she doesn't hear Tim's footsteps running anymore and silence confuses the air like thick fog. The second shot was at Tim and Crane got him.

Crane looks down at her, a sinister and belittling smile on his face, proud of what he's just done. Sam tries to roll slightly onto her side, the gunshot causing a sheering pain to radiate down to her fingertips. Crane lifts his arm, aiming the gun right at her head and ready to pull the trigger. Sam pauses, looking at it and she grits her teeth with the pounding of her head right where the gun is aimed. She spots blood and a cut on Crane's face, she needed to throw a little more to the left.

This whole thing would have been solved had she thrown just a little bit to the left or been quicker. She's pretty sure she only missed because she was fucking shot. And now Crane might actually kill her and she hopes Jason knows where the Lazurus Pit is and will bring her back so she can kill Crane with her bare hands. But, then, the throbbing stops and Crane drops his arm as he looks over his shoulder, seeing someone in the distance.

He doesn't say a word before he runs back into the building, leaving Sam to deal with the aftermath of blood and gunshots.

Sam rolls over, getting to her knees as she's finally able to suck in a full breath. Her eyes land on Tim, lying on the ground just a few feet ahead of her and she focuses all of her energy and attention to getting to him. She was shot in the shoulder. Those shots are usually deadly and she swears it'll be fine. She signed up for this and Tim isn't Robin. As much as he likes to think he's ready and able, he did not sign up for this. Sam has to make sure he's okay. She has no choice. He has to be fine.

So, she crawls over to him as Tim rolls over, slightly facing her. That's when Sam sees blood covering his abdomen. Her eyes widen and she shakes her head, grinding her teeth so hard she thinks they might shatter through her gums. Her hands go to the wound, pressing hard as Tim lets out a scream in agony.

"Sorry." Sam mutters, her hands almost burning as blood coats through her fingers.

This is horrible. Horrible. Horrible. Sam's breathing grows rapid and she can't think straight. She can't focus on anything. All she knows is to put pressure on a bleeding wound but this is the abdomen and surely the bullet hit something important. There's blood coming from his mouth and he looks like he might pass out. Tim's breathing is ragged and staggered. This isn't good and he's just human and he's not Robin. Why was he shot anyway? He had nothing to do with anything and Crane shot him anyway. Why is he such a monster? Why would Tim even want to go through this? It's not fair and Sam just watches the blood come through her fingers and the lump in her throat grows so much she thinks she's going to choke. Her eyes brim with burning hot tears and it's all too real and familiar.

"Sam!" A scream from her side and warm and calloused hands coming to her face, grab her attention. "What the fuck happened?" Jason asks in a panic, his hands holding her face firmly.

He's been trying to get her to answer him but nothing. It's as if she were in a trance and he's been here before with her. Something triggers her to shut down and that's all that happens. It's as if her own memories suck her into a steal cage.

"What?" Sam croaks, eyes scanning over his face. When did he get here?

"What. Happened?" Jason nods before he looks to Tim who's now struggling to breathe.

His eyes come back to Sam and all he saw was someone who he swore was Crane looming over someone on the ground. It wasn't until Sam got to her knees he the realized it was her and then he saw Tim. Jason isn't sure he's ever run so fast in his life to get to Sam. She would never be on the ground if she weren't hurt. And that is one of Jason's biggest fears so his eyes scan over her quickly, hoping she isn't hurt too badly. She's been hurt before.

"Uh...C-crane." Sam shakes her head away from his head, trying to snap herself back into reality. reality. Sam looks down to Tim and he looks so scared. He looks absolutely and utterly terrified. "You're gonna be fine." Sam tries to level her voice to offer some form of reassurance.

Jason's heart stops entirely in his chest, realizing that if Crane just shot them, that's on him. Crane never would have targeted her without Jason and Sam never would have had to drag Tim into this if it weren't for the formula. None of this would have happened if it weren't for Jason. His stomach starts to turn with guilt and agony and regret. His eyes scan over Sam quicker, desperate that she isn't hurt. She can't be hurt because she's Sam and she can't be hurt because of him.

She has the combat thing anyway and she is really good at dodging things. But, Sam is the self-sacrificing type and Tim is already shot. Jason's head starts to spin at the very thought of her in Tim's position. On the ground and bleeding out, terrified of dying. Jason has to keep his eyes on Sam anyway because he thinks if he watches the look on Tim's face, he might spiral into a fit of panic attacks. He's been there. And that's when he sees the blood.

"Were you fucking shot?!" Jason rushes, trying to look at the wound without moving her hands.

Sam looks to it and then back to him. "Yeah." Sam nods her head. "I'm fine though." She shakes her head, sucking in a breath. "I'm fine." Sam states, unsure if she's trying to convince Jason or herself. "We need to do something for Tim, though."

"Fine?!" Jason yells in frustration as he moves to the other side of Tim so he can sit in front of her. He leans down, trying to look at it in the low light but there's a lot of blood and there's fabric from her hoodie in the way. Getting shot isn't fine. "You were fucking shot! That's not fucking fine!"

She can't take it. Being yelled at and trying to make sure Tim doesn't die. Jason's scared and panicked, mad at Crane and she knows it but it's making the panic of her own blood worse. It's too much and too loud and too warm and too cold. It's all too much. And she has been here before and it ended in death and bloodstains. It ended in tarnished memories and pain and agony. It ended in tears and screaming and wailing. Everything still fucking hurts and she can't fucking take Jason also yelling at her because she will be fine. She has been fine before. She has been nearly beaten to death and she was fine. She swears this is different. Tim needs the help.

"I can take care of myself! I got it!" Sam yells right back as the panic starts to take over. It's not him but she can only deal with one heavy thing at a time right now.

Jason is not going to argue this. She is his favorite person and she is everything to him. A mix of panic and frustration coat his stomach, fog his thoughts and words. She can help Tim, but he has to help her. 

"Bullshit, that's why I fucking do it." Jason scoffs, keeping his stare on her and that gets Sam to snap her attention back to him. Jason shakes his head, grabbing her shoulder to put pressure on it for her and Sam screams out in agony. "Sorry." Jason grits his teeth as Sam's blood starts to coat his hands. "Crane did this?" Jason asks carefully.

Sam nods her head. "Yeah."

"I'm gonna fucking kill him." Jason grits his teeth and he gets this look that washes over his eyes, one Sam has never seen before. It is almost a bit scary.

She is his line and Crane crossed it. Jason does not care anymore. He will kill Crane himself at this point. If Crane wants to mess with him, fine. Maybe Jason deserves it anyway, just as he always has. But, Sam? No one gets to fuck with her and make it out alive anymore. If anyone wants to touch her, they can go through him and he'd never let another person through. He is going to kill him.

"No!" Sam scolds. "I wanna kill him! I didn't get to kill the fucking Joker so I get to get at least one shot in!"

"Fucking seriously?" Jason questions, surprised she's going to argue that now.

"Yes." Sam nods her head once. Sam sniffles as her shoulder starts to grow numb.

This is so bad. She knows this is bad and they need someone to help. It's only been about two minutes but it all feels like too much time has passed. Someone has to help and that's when Sam remembers why she is even here. The Titans are right behind her and they're gonna show up and be pissed. She swears Dick won't let them get a word in. Sam's been shot and she thinks Dick will think she's just covering for him. That Dick will think it was an accident and she's pinning it on Crane on purpose. She swears they aren't gonna listen and she can't deal with that right now.

"You have to get out of here." Sam snaps her attention to Jason, panic falling over her features again.

Sam can't be bleeding out, worrying about Tim bleeding out, and worrying about what the Titans are going to do to Jason. He's the one that's here and Crane is probably hiding somewhere. The Titans never believe a word her or Jason have to say anyway and given Jason's track record over the last week, they won't believe him. It'll turn into an argument and a fight, probably. That's the last thing her and Tim need right about now. The easiest solution is to get Jason to leave before they show up. It's for his own good and safety.

"I'm not--"

"Leave! Go! The Titans are right fucking behind me and I wasn't supposed to be here! They're gonna be pissed as it is and they'll blame you!" Sam rushes her words in a heated panic.

Jason's heart sinks and he can't just leave. Not when she's the one that's hurt. She would never leave him if it were him. "I'm not leaving you like this." Jason holds his stance firm.

"I can't fucking handle them screaming at me and then you and then blaming you. Let me talk to Dick. Please, Jason, you have to get out of here!" Sam begs him through gritted teeth. She knows it is a hard ask. She knows.

Jason shakes his head. What kind of person is he if he leaves her like this? Sam found him and she said she still tried to save him. She's alive right now and Jason can help. If she'd just let him. He can't just leave. Jason promised he'd never leave like that again and if he leaves now, what's the difference? He swore he'd always take care of her because she sure as shit doesn't like to take care of herself. And she always deserved someone to be there. He can't just...leave.

"But...I--"

"They'll think it was a setup! They will not let you talk and they'll think I'm covering for you! I'll think of something to tell them. Please, Jason, please go." Sam's voice finally cracks, her chest caving in under the pressure.

JAson's heart breaks and he knows she's right. But, she's hurt and what if something happens and he's not there? Jason swears he already isn't going to be able to live with himself for this but if she dies and it's because he left? Then what?

"I can't leave and--"

"Jay! Please, fucking please." Sam lets out a broken and strained cry, trying with everything in her to hold it back. "I love you, please, Jay. It's still you and me and I got you. I will find a way to convince them it wasn't you and it wasn't a setup and I'm not just covering you. Please, Jay." Sam pulls in a weak breath. "I'll be okay." Sam's bottom lip quivers as tears reflect off the low light of the parking lot.

And he caves.

Jason grits his own teeth, brows pulling together. "Let Gar help you when he gets here." Jason nods his head at her before he presses his forehead against hers for just a second. "Please."

Sam nods her head. "Okay." Sam says softly as some small part of relief starts to echo over her bones.

Jason pauses for a few seconds and he already hates himself but he gets to his feet anyway. He does it for her because he knows she's right. They won't listen to him because they never have before. They won't listen to her either because she made it clear she is with him, through everything. Sam already looks like she's on the verge of a mental breakdown and Jason can't make it any worse. But, he swears the only reason he's letting himself run away from this is because he knows Gar will be there. Gar will know she's hurt and he'll find a way to help her because that's what Gar is best at. Helping the people he cares about most. But he feels guilty anyway because she found him.

Sam found him and now she's leaning over Tim with blood-stained hands all over again. Sam found him and Jason can't even stick around to make sure she's gonna be okay. It's Sam and she's resilient. She was nearly beaten to death and was up and walking a few hours later. But, Jason should be there and he knows he should. He just knows he won't be any help if it stresses her out more with him being there. It won't help her if she's fighting the Titans instead of getting help because that's exactly what would happen. It doesn't help her if she's too busy worrying about what will happen with Jason instead of making sure the bullet didn't knick anything. Jason knows, right now, it is probably better he leave. But, he makes a silent promise to himself that any other time after this, he won't leave. He will never put either one of them in a position where they have to leave when the other needs them. It's not fair.

Sam looks back to Tim. "You're gonna be fine." Sam can hear the unconvincing waver in her voice.

"Titans." Tim manages to get out. "Was right."

"Shut up." Sam rolls her eyes. "Told you, more to the story." Sam manages to get out as her eyes go back to the blood and there is just so much of it. She's tired of having bloody hands.

"Sam?" Gar yells as the Titans start running toward them.

Sam looks up at Gar, relief coming across her eyes. She can't do this on her own but The Titans can help. 

"What the hell happened?!" Kory asks once her and the other Titans close in on Sam and Tim.

"Crane, call someone. He's losing a lot of blood and I can't stop the bleeding." Sam looks up at Dick and Dick can't believe this is really happening. What the hell is she even doing here? And he's supposed to trust her.

"Why would Crane so this?" Dick asks as Gar picks up his phone for an ambulance.

"Because he's fucking insane?!" Sam yells and she looks down, Tim starting to lose consciousness. "Hey, no no no," Sam starts to panic. "Tim! Come on, you gotta stay awake!" Sam's voice cracks and this can't happen, not again. She looks up to Dick, completely desperate. "Please, help me." Her voice is so small, and suddenly him and Kory are reminded that her and Gar and Jason and Rachel are just kids. Legally, they're adults, but they're just kids. Desperate for a place to call a home and a place to fit in. Desperate to find themselves and do what's right. They're just kids.

Dick kneels down, replacing Sam's hands with his. Sam pulls her hands away, looking at them as the blood reflects off of the city lights around them. Her stomach starts to feel woozy and her elbows grow weak. Her hands are shaking and they burn. They burn like they might break out into hives and her fingers are freezing. Her heart is in her ears and she's thinking it's hard to breathe again. Her eyes slam shut and Jason's brutalized face flashes across her eyes then Tim's dad and Tim. Everyone is flashing and it's all her fault. And Deathstroke and Jason and his leg and Gar passing out from a tranquilizer and it's all too much.

Her hands are shaking, covered in red and she feels queasy. That's that never happened before. She can handle blood and gore. That's fine but she feels it anyway while the entire world spins. And her heart is in her throat, trying to claw its way out into the cool Gotham air. She grits her teeth together and her breathing becomes rapid. Every limb feels weak.

"They're on their way." Gar states, looking at Sam who looks paler than usual.

"What happened?" Kory asks, keeping her voice calm as she just tries to find out what actually happened.

"I-uh, I--I-I-" Sam glances to Tim who's not awake anymore and Gar rushes over to her, kneeling beside her with a hand on her shoulder. That's when he gets a look at the blood and the gunshot wound. "I-I-I...." Sam has her hands out in front of her, blood dripping from her hands.

"Were you shot?!" Gar questions, putting his hands on the wound as Sam winces.

"Oh...yeah." Sam nods her head at him, a distant look in her eyes. "It-It wasn't...it wasn't Jason." Sam shakes her head, looking to Dick. "I swear, Dick." Sam's words are labored and she's sick of this.

Dick, Kory, and Conner look at Sam, not believing her even a little bit. They thought they could trust her and Sam felt them not buying it. And panic decides to take a backseat for just a second.

He is so pissed. He's worried, of course, he is. He just found out she was also shot. But, he's also pissed. She was told to watch Tim and not be here. This is one of the things he was worried about. And now he has both of them down. If Sam would have just listened like she was supposed to, she could have given Jason and Dick the heads-up. She could have stopped Tim but she didn't. Dick thought she learned from last time.

"Why are you even here?" Dicks voice is frustrated as he looks over to her.

Sam shakes her head and he gets a look at her eyes going bloodshot. "I don't know! Scared for him, I don't know!" Sam's voice cracks."I just..." Sam's voice quivers. "I just wanted to make sure you kept your word." Sam sniffles as her voice grows weak and small.

She looks back to Tim and her hands. It's all coming back to her in an intense heatwave. Everyone is looking between her and Tim. Tim isn't fucking moving and it's all her fault. She can't do this. She's back on Amusement Mile and she feels like she's going to be sick. It's too much. Too heavy. Too loud. Tool cold. Too hot. She's under a microscope that's slowly closing in on her and she cannot sit here and watch him die. She can't. Not again.

"I can't do this." Sam shakes her head in a panic, getting to her feet.

"Sam!" Gar calls, following her lead.

"I-I-I can't. I'm sorry." Sam brushes him off before she takes off, leaving Gar and the rest of the Titans.

She runs and runs until she reaches her bike, Gar calling after her the whole time. She can't do it. It's all too much. It's suffocating her from the inside out. Jason on the ground, a puddle of his own blood and brain matter on the ground. It all comes back to her with Tim's blood soaking her hands. She can't keep losing people she cares about and she can't keep doing this. So, she runs. She does what she has always been best at. Run.