Chapter 16 - Troubled Water

A/N: I am so sorry for how late this chapter is lol I was sick and then some personal stuff happened and then I thought I got covid so that was fun lol so I couldn't finish editing this for quite a while. I'm so sorry!! 

Jason is stuck pacing back and forth in the room he's calling a bedroom now. Worry has taken every part of him as his hand grips his phone like a vice. It's been hours. He hasn't heard from Sam or Dick or Gar. He hasn't heard from anyone and he's tried calling Sam seven times. But, her phone is off and her phone is never off. That is the one thing about her, her phone will never be off unless there is a reason for it and being hurt isn't a good reason. Not to Sam. The only time her phone even dies is...never. Jason thinks about it and he doesn't think she's let her phone even reach 20% in the entire time they've known each other. He thinks it's probably so someone can always find her and she can always call for help because she's almost paranoid about it dying. Sam's phone doesn't die.

That leaves Jason thinking the worst of the worst. If her phone is off, that means it has to be dead or she shut it off for some reason but that's uncharacteristic of her. So, he thinks maybe it did die and if it died, that's because she didn't charge it. If she didn't charge her phone, it's because she was physically incapable of charging it. What if something really bad happened? What if she was shot somewhere else? Jason knows Crane wanted Sam taken care of, maybe he shot her twice but she's really good at hiding her pain when she needs to. Adrenaline probably kicked in and shock, she was scared for Tim. Maybe she didn't realize how bad it was. What if there was a complication of some sort and something bad happened?

Jason's mouth starts to water as his eyes burn. His brows pinch together hard as his teeth grind so hard his jaw starts to ache. He was brought back. But, a part of him really hates that he was. Would Sam want to be brought back? If she died, would she want to be brought back like him? Jason comes to a stop, trying to steady his own breathing as his leg aches and burns. The scars on his chest feel like he's being cut open again. What if she doesn't want to be brought back but Jason did anyway? What if Sam did, and he does nothing?

What if Sam did die?

If Sam did die...Gar would call him, right?

Gar would definitely call, Jason assures himself. Gar would call immediately if something were happening. He has the number now and Jason's ringer is on with the vibration set to strong. He has no missed calls but he's certain Gar would call. If not, he would have called Molly and Molly would have found a way to call Jason. If Sam were dead, one of them would call him.

And then Jason swallows his own heartbeat as his phone starts ringing.

Gar.

"Hey." Jason clears his throat, trying to keep himself together as he tries to prepare himself for the worst news he'll ever get.

"Is Sam there?" Gar asks and Jason can hear the worry etched in his voice.

"Uh...no?" Jason questions and he's not sure if he should be relieved or panicked with Gar not knowing where she is. At least he's not calling to tell Jason she's dead but that does not rule out her bleeding out in a ditch somewhere. "I told her to go with you."

Gar sighs on the end, running a hand through his hair. "She took off. I thought maybe she went to find you but she was hurt and she's not answering her phone. Molly hasn't heard from her either."

Jason already figured she wouldn't go to Molly. If Sam went to Molly, she would worry, give Sam a look she doesn't like, and she'd run away again anyway. The last thing Sam would want to do is drag Molly into it further. But, Jason really hoped she'd have listened for once and just went with Gar. Or at least sent a text to one of them to let them know she's okay or not.

"She hasn't been around." Jason keeps his voice quiet and he looks around his room as if the answer is going to be written on the walls.

"Uh...hey, I know this...might not be what it's for, but can you track her? She was shot and we're all really worried." Gar's voice is hesitant as he scrunches his nose, hating the idea of having Jason do it. It feels like an invasion of privacy, especially Gar being the one to ask but it's a last-ditch effort.

Of course, Jason's been thinking about it. But, something in him can't get himself to do it. On the small chance Sam did shut her phone off, that means she doesn't want to be found. Jason can't overstep, he can't intrude on her. Even if he is desperately wanting to because she could be dead. He thought maybe he'd give her twenty more minutes and then he'd just do it anyway.

"Have you looked for her?" Jason asks, eying his tablet Sam left out.

"No, I called you first." Gar admits. Honestly, Gar doesn't even know where to look but he knew Jason would.

With no one out looking for Sam, maybe they don't have to track her and possibly invade her privacy. If Sam is just blowing off steam or punishing herself, Jason knows exactly where she'll be. He figures, if him, Gar, and Molly can't find her within an hour, checking all of her spots, he'll use the tracker.

"Okay, you and Molly go look for her at her usual spots. Molly'll know 'em and I'll check a few others. If we don't find her in an hour, I'll track her." Jason nods his head on the other end.

"Do you think we'll actually find her? I mean you know how she is." Gar isn't trying to be pessimistic but it's been hours and he thought for sure, Sam would be with Jason.

Jason can feel the panic attack starting to course through his blood. His heart is racing and his hands are growing clammy and he's getting unreasonably angry. It is not Gar's fault because even on a good day, getting Sam to listen is like pulling fucking teeth, especially when it has to do with taking care of herrself. Jason knows this better than anyone but he's mad anyway and he knows it's the panic attack. Sam was fucking shot and he took off so he's mad at himself for listening. And he's mad that she was shot and Gar didn't stop her. He can turn into a fucking tiger for fuck's sake, couldn't he have turned into a tiger to stop her? Tackled her to the ground and pinned her there, dragged her to the manor kicking and screaming if that's what he had to do. Sam was shot and maybe she's dead now and he didn't help. And Jason didn't fucking help.

"Fuck! Gar, then you should have fucking followed her!" Jason snaps and immediately feels bad about it but any part of him that should apologize is washed over with guilt and regret and more anger. "Just go fucking look for her with Molly and I'll look other places." Jason grabs his coat from the bed and heads for the door.

"Where should we start?" Gar is quiet on the other end.

"The zoo." Jason spits right back without even thinking. "Start there, then the harbor and I'll–" Jason cuts himself off as he swings the door open, seeing Sam right in front of him with bloodshot eyes and blood-stained clothes and hands.

Gotham never sleeps. It never stalls. Everything is always moving, always loud. There is always something going on, people always going from one spot to the next in their lives. In some ways, it's a little comforting. A reminder that Sam is here. Sam is here and alive like all of the people she passed on her walk here living their own lives. On the other hand, Sam wishes it were quiet sometimes. Sam wishes it were quiet sometimes because everything seems too much sometimes and her skin crawls while her heart feels like it's going to beat out her chest. Her head spins and everything feels too much. But, it was quiet in the basement. It was quiet in the tower before they were attacked. It was quiet in the tunnels. It was quiet when she found Jason. It was quiet when Tim was shot. Maybe quiet is the surrounding air grieving for the mess fate's created.

So, she stands in Jason's doorway because quiet with him, alive and breathing, has always been the safest place to be. Sam stands weakly, haunted by everything that's happened as the very idea of existing physically pains the deepest parts of her heart.

It's hard to go through the same shit all the time. Sam is just supposed to be fine with it. It's happened before and she got over it, so she can get over it again, right? At some point, someone reaches the end of their rope and Sam thinks she might be there. It is the same pain over and over again and it never gets any easier. Time passes and it all just hurts anyway. People say time heals everything but Sam doesn't think that's true because she thinks about her mom dying and it's like the wind's been kicked from her chest all over again. She remembers Jason's body and it's like she's being waterboarded. Time doesn't heal anything. It's not even like she's used to it. She was just traumatized and avoids thinking about everything so it doesn't fucking hurt so much. But, even that's just exhausting. Existing is hard and tiring and painful.

Maybe she's just tired of being in pain.

Sam's bottom lip starts to quiver and she always felt safest with him. Even from her own thoughts. Sam never felt too much pain around him. He always knows exactly what to do and it's all too much right now. Being alone doesn't work anymore. So, Sam stares up at him as Jason's brows pull together with a cross between worry and relief.

"Jason?" Gar calls. "You there?" Gar asks.

"I got her." Jason says. "She's here. I'll call you later." Jason says quickly before hanging up. "Hey." Jason's voice is soft and careful, noticing Sam not making eye contact with him.

Sam walks the couple of feet up to him as Jason keeps his stance, almost ready to do whatever she'll need. And all Sam does is lean forward and rest her forehead against his chest. Jason lets out a breath and she's able to pull one in for the first time. Jason rests his hand on her back, rubbing up and down slowly as he hears Sam sniffle against him.

"Gar was calling in a search party. Where the fuck were you?" Jason asks and he should have some sort of bite in his voice but he's too worried and too relieved.

Sam looks back up to him and shakes her head. "Walking. I couldn't-I couldn't...do it." Sam's jaw squares as she tries to hold back her own tears. "S-sorry..I-I didn't mean to...to, uh, worry you guys. I-I just...just couldn't."

Jason nods with understanding, looking her over and it doesn't look like she took care of the gunshot wound. Her clothes are soaked and her hair is an utter mess. There's blood on her face and he swears her cheeks are stained with tears and she actually looks cold.

Jason rests his hand on Sam's cheek and she finally meets his eyes. "You alright?" Jason asks softly.

"Hurts." Sam mutters and his hand almost feels like it's burning her cheek. He's so warm.

"The gunshot?" Jason questions, almost afraid of the answer.

"Everything." Sam answers weakly with defeat.

She's never seen his look on him before. His jaw is squared but it's soft rather than harsh like he'd been trying to shatter his own teeth. His brows are pinched but not completely pulled together and they're aimed downward, etched in worry. His eyes are scanning her over every few seconds as if he's stuck between thinking she isn't really here and terrified something really bad is about to happen. Jason Todd worries and Sam's seen him worried plenty of times but this is different. She's seen him scared, too, plenty of times. More times than she can really count. But, this is different. It's a different look and it's because it's her. And that look alone, chops and hacks at the barrier holding her together until it finally crumbles at her feet.

"It's all my fault, Jay." Sam sputters as she feels her eyes starting to water again. "It's all my fault and I really fucked up and Tim could die or he did die. I don't even know cause I left and I'm a fucking coward for leaving and it's all my fucking fault." Sam's mouth waters and she can't look at his eyes because it's all too much. "And there was so much...blood again. And the last time...it was you and it was horrible and I lost you and I couldn't do it again and it just hurts all the time." Sam sucks in a shaky breath. "And-and Gar would say it's not my fault and he'd give me the look but it is my fault. And Dick would be mad at me and I deserve it but I can't hear it right now because I don't know if I can handle it. And....it's just-it's just my fault. And I don't know if could save him but I tried and I tried to save you, too." Sam sputters before a sob finally rips through her throat. It bounces against the walls in a strangled and broken wail as if the very life she's lived has finally taken its toll on her for the last time. Jason isn't sure he can listen to it because it physically pains him to see and hear Sam like this.

"Sam." Jason tries to get out but Sam shakes her head.

"I tried really fucking hard to save you and it didn't work. And I had to call Bruce and beg him to help me and he couldn't and it was so fucking horrible and painful and scary." Sam tries to suck in a breath as tears scatter down her face. Everything is just wet and ugly, red and hot. "It was so bad and I was so alone." Sam sucks in a ragged breath, her voice cracking and breaking between sobs. "Because Molly didn't know and fuck Bruce and Gar wasn't here. I was so alone and it was so scary because there was so much blood and brain matter." Jason almost winces hearing it. "I don't know if I would have been able to recognize you if you didn't have the fucking Robin suit. It was so fucking bad and it hurts to think about and believe it happened but you're here. And then Tim gets shot and there's so much blood and I had to ask Dick to help and it's like I'm there with your body again and it's scary and it's painful and I hate it. I hate how much it hurts. I hate doing this. I hate that it keeps happening." Sam's chest heaves as she looks at Jason with tears soaking her cheeks and her eyes finally meet his. And all Jason can see is defeat. "What if it just keeps happening?"

Jason shakes his head and every single time he is reminded she was the one that found him, he sends himself into a guilt-ridden spiral. Of course, she found him. That isn't the issue. The issue is what it looked like from her perspective and the devastation it caused. He knows. He knows what it is like to find someone you love dead. He knows and it's horrible and painful and devastating. It makes someone feel completely hopeless and helpless and useless. There has never been a time where he felt more helpless. And then he put Sam in that same position, not on purpose. But, he did and it was worse because it was gorey and traumatizing and he left her. He didn't realize how badly it had traumatized her. It traumatized him, too but it affects her.

Dying doesn't just happen to the person that's dead. It happens to everyone around them.

"I'm so sorry." Jason says softly, sliding his hand off her cheek. He shakes his head, biting his own tongue because he almost wants to cry with her. "I'm fucking sorry, Sammy." Jason wraps his arm around her shoulders as he pulls her into him. He's careful not to hug her too tight, minding the gunshot wound he knows he'll be taking care of for her later. "You're not coward." Jason manages to get out as he tries to come up with an answer for her even though he doesn't think he'll ever have one. The reality is that it will keep happening.

"Yeah, I am." Sam argues back before she looks up at him. "What fucking person just leaves as their friend is bleeding on the ground?"

"Someone who's fucking traumatized." Jason bites back. "Someone who was also fucking shot and in shock. You tried to help him and me knowing the shit you'd get for it. You fucking knew I went after the Joker and you show up alone, ready to take him on by your fucking self if you had to. You think that makes you a coward? What's that make me then, huh?" Jason questions back, knowing she'll never think of him as a coward, even if he sees that in himself sometimes.

"Not a coward but that's different." Sam argues.

"Fucking how?" Jason spits back. "You left Tim with Dick and the rest of the Titans who would know what to do. You were also fucking shot, Sammy." Jason shakes his head.

Jason wonders if this is what it's like dealing with him sometimes. Going round and round, circling the drain into a self-destructive spiral that only seems to have one result. It's not that he minds, it's that she thinks this. Sam is anything but a coward and Jason can't even figure out how she could think otherwise. Sam always does what she thinks is best for herself and for the people she cares about. Always. And she fights tooth and nail, as hard and as fast as she possibly can for what she believes. That's not cowardly.

"I-I know but..." Sam sniffles as she shakes her head. "H-how can I keep doing this? I mean...losing people and the blood and....how can I do this for other people when I can't even save the people I love?" Sam asks bluntly. "That's shit, you know? We're supposed to be out helping people and...and I can't even...I fail with the people that matter. So, what's the point?"

Jason would be lying if he doesn't question what the point is half the time, especially over the last few days. What's the point of living if this is even how it plays out? Pain and chaos, destruction and lonelienss. It's all pretty miserable, actually. But, he holds on anyway because it wasn't always like this.

Shit gets bad and then it gets better and yeah, it is exhausting sometimes. But, it's always gotten better. Jason doesn't know how much better it'll get from here now but he won't tell Sam that. He just knows he wakes up and he tries because Sam was nearly beaten an inch from her life and she finds so much joy and love in small things that that alone seems to give Jason some sort of hope. And because Gar's family was killed and Gar was experimented on and he is the most optimistic person he has ever met. And because Molly lived on the streets with the death of her parents and Molly is the nicest person Jason has ever met. If all of these people can just be better after everything, than he can't very well just give up. And Sam can't either. Maybe there isn't a point but they'll never know if they give up.

"You know what you told me? You are the one that said sometimes we fail, that's part of the job. But, we try." Jason licks his lips as he sucks in a breath. "You talked me off the roof. Maybe Deathstroke would have tried to kill me or done worse shit if it weren't for you. Fucking Pete Hawkins bullshit. The kid at Jerry's. You were the one that fought tooth and fucking nail to save Gar. And you did, by the way. You saved Tim at Excellent Gotham. You failed two fucking times but by my count, you win more often."

"Three times." Sam corrects him, earning her a glare. "Gar got kidnapped, we failed then...too."

"You were both tranquilized and they used kryptonite on Krypto. I don't think that counts." Jason nods his head.

"I guess." Sam lets out a breath, looking to her shoes. "I just, uh," Sam sniffles as she shakes her head, looking back to him. "I just want the pain to stop." Sam's voice cracks again.

Jason doesn't say it, but he does, too. So, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her into him.

Sam presses her cheek to his chest, wrapping her arms around him as her breathing is still rapid and ragged. But, she can hear his heartbeat in between breaths. It's fast but steady. A lot quicker than it usually is but it is there. A few more tears leak out as she counts his heartbeat and is fully engulfed by his warmth. She hadn't realized just how numb she had gotten from the cold until now. Her fingers and toes are starting to feel like painful pins and needles. Her arms are burning and her cheek sting from the salty tears. It's as if she's thawing from his warmth. Between that and his steady heartbeat, Sam calms herself down.

"I can try to help." Jason whispers softly. "If you'll have me." Jason pulls away just enough to look down at her and her eyes meet his.

She told him before that she'd come for everything that ever hurt him if it came to it. Anyone that ever wanted to hurt him, would have to go through her. Because he was just Jason Todd to her. It didn't matter that he could -- should have been able to -- take care of himself. And Jason knew that's how it was for him, too. Anyone who wants to hurt her, has to go through him. But, the problem is that someone did hurt her...because of him. And he hurt her. Right now she's in pain and it's because of him. It's not right and it's not fair to her but Jason wants to protect her. He'd cut out pieces of his heart and glue them to hers if it would make her feel better. He would do anything in this world if it would make her pain less. Any form of pain that wants to come for her, is going to have to go through him first. From now on.

Sam nods her head. "Always." She croaks out.

"Come on." Jason releases his arms and cold rushes itself right back over Sam's body. "Sit on the bed, I'll grab you some clothes and supplies to clean that shit. We'll start there."

"Thanks, Jay." Sam mutters softly, walking to the bed and Jason watches her carefully.

He wonders if this is how it always felt for her. He'd come home bloody and bruised, weak and pitiful. Scared and in pain. He never said anything but Jason knows she always knew. Somehow, Sam always knew when he was hurt and scared. But, it was always him walking through the door hurt, not her. And it was her that would stitch him up. Sure, he's helped her with her hands, but Sam did it at least twice a week for months. And she never complained. But, Jason wonders if this is what it feels like.

It feels like he's carrying the weight of the world for the both of them and he's trapped in a worrying spin. And he is so fucking sad for her. It's not pity, but just sadness. It's wanting the best for her and her to have everything good in this world because she deserves it. And wanting to witness it because he loves her. It's just wanting to see her smile and happy, making some stupid joke and telling him to fuck off. It's just wanting her to not be in pain anymore. He wonders if this is how it felt being her and if so, he wants to know so badly how the fuck she dealt with it because he feels like he's suffocating while he grabs her clothes.

Jason walks back over to her, handing her a pair of sweatpants and a red hoodie. "I got first aid shit in the bathroom so change and I'll be back." Jason nods his head at her.

"Okay." Sam answers weakly and Jason hesitates for a few seconds before he practically runs off to the bathroom.

Sam is weak and unsteady as she changes into the sweats. She's realizing she hasn't eaten in a while and she hasn't had much to drink either. That's definitely not helping her mental state and she knows it. But, if she were being really honest, none of those activities sound like things she's currently capable of doing. Changing is even almost too much effort at this point. And it fucking hurts as she tries to take her shirt off to swap it for the hoodie.

"Need help?" Jason appears right back not two minutes later.

Sam always hated feeling helpless but not around him. "Yeah, it hurts." Sam sniffles softly, sitting pitifully on the bed.

Jason walks over, resting the kit beside her before he lightly grabs the hem of her hoodie. Jason helps her tug it off of her bad shoulder and then over her head, Sam groaning the entire time. With the hoodie off, she's left in a blue t-shirt and Jason sees where the bullet hole is, covered in red and brown. With the chaos of last night, he didn't check and wasn't able to check if the wound was a through and through. Jason's stomach twists at the thought that it's not. But, he hides his worry, looking back to Sam with a soft sigh.

"How did you wanna do this?" Jason asks bluntly.

Sam's brows furrow in confusion. "I-I don't know?" Sam shakes her head.

"I can't clean it with your shirt on." Jason sucks in a breath and normally he'd have some comment about seeing her half naked again but he can't quite muster it this time.

"Oh..." Sam whispers and she swears it's fine. It's not like they haven't seen each other naked before and it's not like she didn't see Jason fully exposed just the other night. There is something that just feels...new and vulnerable again. "That's fine." Sam nods and Jason leans forward again, tugging the hem of her shirt up and over her head, freeing her arm. Sam grabs Jason's hoodie with her good arm and Jason helps tug it onto her good arm, Sam thankful it's a zip-up and not a pullover. "Guess that'll do." Sam sucks in a breath and she's kind of tired of feeling like this. "I expect you to actually help and not just stare at my tits the whole time."

Jason manages a cheeky smirk. "You know I'm ass guy anyway." Jason glances down and then back to her.

"Shithead." Sam mutters and Jason's head swims. It's been so long since she's called him that and it almost feels nostalgic.

"Babe." Jason quips back.

Jason takes out his phone, examining the gunshot now that there isn't anything in the way. There's still blood everywhere and he can't even tell if it's because Sam did such a shit job at cleaning it or if the wound is actually that bad. Something in his stomach twists and turns into a gnawing pain at the thought this is worse than he originally thought. But, he keeps a straight face, not to let his worry cross even a single line of his face. When he worries, Sam worries.

Jason grabs a wet rag from the bowl he brought in with him, gently cleaning around the area to try to get a better look. Sam lets out a shaking breath, the water cool against her skin.

"Sorry, no hot water." Jason barely glances to Sam as he scrubs some of the dry blood away.

"Should probably fix that."

"Pilot lights are expensive."

"I have Bruce's credit card." Sam mutters quietly, earning a look from Jason.

He stops, looking up at her fully. "You would."

"Eat the rich." Sam shrugs. "Or take their money when it's offered to you and he didn't ask for it back." Jason lets out a snicker before he goes back to cleaning. "You should use yours. It might send up a red flag for Bruce and maybe he'll call someone back or come back."

Sam hates the words as they leave her lips because wanting Bruce back means admitting defeat. But, Gotham has gone to absolute shit since Bruce decided to fuck off somewhere. At least Gotham had some degree of fear and respect for the Bat. They don't seem to like the Titans very much. And Jason's been off his rocker and Sam's been stuck trying to help him. Gotham does need someone they respect. Bruce should definitely come back. And if for no other reason, to see his son is alive again.

Jason scoffs. "Yeah, fucking right." He shakes his head in annoyance. "Fuck Bruce. I don't need him."

Before he died, he was getting better about talking about his problems and the things that kept him up at night. He was doing better with it but then he comes back and the very idea of talking about it makes him want to crash through a window headfirst onto solid pavement. In all fairness, he already hated talking about Bruce. It was one thing to complain about him but it was an entirely other thing to unravel and dig into actually talking about him. Now, though, it's worse because every time Jason thinks about Bruce, it's as if his heart starts to break all over again.

Maybe him getting bludgeoned death was his fault. He knew better. But, where was Bruce? Bruce gave up on him. And then...was going to let the Joker just...live. Jason was supposed to be Bruce's son and he couldn't even kill the Joker for him or do anything about him. And maybe, just maybe, Jason could get over that eventually but Jason's alive again and Bruce is nowhere to be found. With everything going on in Gotham, Jason is certain Dick would have called Bruce and let him know. If for no other reason than to rat Jason out to "dad". So, maybe Jason feels like he was always a little expendable to Bruce, not just Crane or the Titans. And that part hurts the most.

"Didn't say you did?" Sam lets out a breath. "Just saying is all." Sam pulls in a deep breath. "Fuck Bruce, yeah. Just saying." She, for one, still hates Bruce but Jason hating Bruce seems weird. She chalked it up to the drug at first and Crane but...Jason's clean. It's weird, even for Jason. "What's your sudden issue with Bruce anyway?"

"You got a problem with me having a problem with Bruce all of a sudden?" Jason spits back and he shouldn't, given her current state but his heartache over being abandoned by him is fresh.

"Oh, no. I am actually fine with that cause fuck Bruce but it's weird. After all of that shit, you come back and suddenly don't like him. That's weird, Jay. Even for you."

"Never fucking mattered to him. I was always just the replacement for Dick anyway. Doesn't fucking matter." Jason dips the rag into the water, rinsing some of the blood off before going back to the wound.

Sam furrows her brows, trying to figure out where that's even coming from. "Uh...not true? Bruce is a fucking weirdo and shit but I actually think he gives a shit about you, Jay. Outside of Robin and Dick. You always said that, too. Like deep down you knew that, so what is it now?"

Jason grows more and more angered but he knows Sam isn't going to drop it. "You were fucking right, alright?" Jason snaps back. "Should have killed the fucking Joker because he killed me. So fuck him." Jason keeps his explanation short.

"Right yeah, had he just killed him, you wouldn't have died and it doesn't make up for it because too little, too late shit, but like...he did—"

"Can you fucking drop it, please?" Jason's words come out more as a demand rather than a request. "I'm done fucking talking about it." Jason looks at Sam's shoulder from her back, seeing there's no hole in the fabric.

"Sorry." Sam says softly. It just doesn't sit right with her. She'd still be pissed at Bruce, too because had he killed the Joker in the first place that wouldn't have happened but that's...not really Jason. He doesn't hold many grudges and Bruce did kill the Joker. It was a little late for that but he did, to avenge Jason. Bruce didn't throw his morals away for Dick, he threw them away for Jason and that would normally mean something to him. It's weird but Sam knows when to push and when not to. She's not in the mood to fight it anyway. "Just thought it was weird, is all."

"It's fine. Sorry." Jason squints at the wound, seeing something shine back at him and his heart plummets. He grabs his phone, shining a light into the wound again. "The bullet is still inside."

"Figured." Sam lets out a breath.

"I have to take it out."

Sam's eyes land on his and she knows this is about to suck. "Okay." Sam nods her head.

"Lay back and hold the phone so I can see." Jason hands her his phone as Sam does as told.

Jason grabs a pair of tweezers from the kit and he looks at the wound, grabbing Sam's wrist to make sure the light is in the right position. Jason's stomach twists into a hard knot, knowing how bad this is going to hurt. His leg starts to throb with the very thought of putting Sam through it. But, it has to be done. Sam is not going to go to an actual doctor for help and if he leaves the bullet in, it can lead to infection. So, Jason sucks in a deep breath and bends down hovering over the wound, careful not to block the light.

"It's gonna hurt." Jason glances up at her.

"Just do it." Sam sighs, looking to the ceiling as her grip on his phone tightens.

Jason nods his head before gently sticking the tweezers into the wound. Sam slams her eyes shut as her jaw clenches. Her right hand grips onto the blanket beneath her as Jason moves the tweezers around. It's burning and stinging like getting stung by a thousand hornets at once. It's as if she's being shot in the spot over and over again as tears well behind her eyes. Jason is trying to be careful and quick, but the bullet is slippery thanks to the blood.

Sam's hand starts to shake as her breath grows rapid and uneven. She tries her best to concentrate on anything besides the pain but that's becoming increasingly more difficult. It was different when she was in the fight for her life. It was do or die and people can do absolutley insane things they should not have been able to accomplish in life or death situations. Her life isn't in danger right now and even when she tries to focus on something else, the tweezers move just enough and she's brought back to agonizing pain.

Given the events that happened, it's hard for her to focus on anything other than the pain she's been in. She tries to think of the good times but then those are tarnished like rusted silverware. Those good memories now come with pain, too. She tries to focus on what they're going to do about Crane because maybe that would kick in her fighting instincts but she's the one lying in a bed right now after being shot by him. Everything around her feels like it's rusting and chipping away into a toxic pile of reds and browns. Tainted, tarnished, and broken.

Jason glances up to her and he can see the agony written in every wrinkle and pinch of her skin. And he can't see with the phone basically vibrating in her hand. All he can even feel is anger and not at her. It's entirely on him and Crane because at the end of the day, it's his fault and Crane's how she ended up here. She never should have been shot. She was only there to look out for him. Sam and Tim were collateral damage. So many people around Jason end up just being collateral damage. And they don't deserve it. But, at the end of the day, he isn't the one that pulled the trigger at her and all he wants to do is go right after Crane. Make him feel the same pain he's put her through. And then worse.

"Sam." Jason says, sternly. "You have to stop moving. I can't see."

Sam swallows thickly, trying to stabilize her hand. "Sorry." She manages to mutter through her gritted teeth.

Jason goes back to the wound but the second he sticks the tweezers into the flesh, Sam winces and flinches as hard she tries to stay still. Jason is no stranger to this and he knows it is agonizing to pick something out of an open wound. Nerves and flesh are exposed that should not be. It's horrendous and seconds feel like hours. And it's triggering phantom pain in his leg as his heart feels like it's being suffocated with barbed wire. He knows it's bad when Sam is the one who can't sit still.

Jason pulls back, putting the tweezers back in the kit before he cups Sam's cheeks. He bends down so his face is just an inch from hers and Sam opens her eyes slowly, her jaw still clenched and tears threatening to finally fall.

"You gotta stay still or I'm never gonna be able to get it out." Jason's voice is stern.

"It fucking hurts." Sam's voice cracks weakly as she sniffles.

"You were almost beaten to death. This isn't gonna fucking kill you. You'll be fine." Jason nods his head once at her before he presses his forehead to hers for just a second.

Sam nods weakly at him. "Yeah..."

"Just...stay still and I'll be quick, alright?" Jason asks, seeing the doubt across her face. "I got you." Jason offers a weak smile.

"Okay." Sam nods her head in agreement.

Jason nods once more before he goes back to her wound. He focuses on the bullet while the tweezers hover above her and Sam can't help but notice the lack of shaking in his hands. Come to think of it, she isn't sure the last time she saw his hand so steady. Jason has always been so steady around her. An unmovable force.

Jason looks back to her, raising his brows as if silently asking if her if she's ready and all she does is nod quickly before looking back to the ceiling. Her grip tightens on the phone while her locks in place with all of her might just to try to stay steady.

The tweezers stick back into the bloody wound, carefully and steadily as they go right to the bullet. Jason keeps his eyes laser-focused on just getting the bullet out and Sam grits her teeth together as tears come to her eyes. But, she sucks in a deep breath as she feels the metal scraping around the wound, clinging onto every part her self-control in order to stay steady. That's when Jason finally is able to grab the bullet, pulling it out in a steady motion, careful not to drop it.

Jason holds the bullet with the tweezers as a triumphant grin comes to his lips. Sam peeks her eyes open at him, the whites turning a bright shade of pale pink.

"Told you I got you." Jason shrugs casually but the grin quirks into a cheeky smirk.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah thanks." Sam rolls her eyes as she sniffles.

"You alright?"

"Yeah, that shit was just, uh painful. I really don't recommend getting shot." Sam lays the phone down beside her before rubbing her right eye.

"Yeah, don't plan on it." Jason quips back. "Probably stop hurting soon without the bullet."

"Be nice." Sam lets out a sigh. "And Dick really just went to bed like this. What a fucking psycho."

"Yeah, but you went MIA." Jason narrows his eyes at her because maybe he is a little mad at her for it. They were all worried. He was worried. "You bitch about him but--"

"If you fucking say it, Jason Todd, I'll kill you again." Sam deadpans. "You two are the ones that are oddly similar, okay?"

Jason lets out a scoff. "Bullshit. I'm nothing like him."

Sam rolls her eyes. "Yeah, you are. You're different but you're similar. You just don't wanna see it. What? You never looked up to him before all of this shit?" Sam asks.

Jason sits back on his heels, dropping the bullet in the first aid kit with the tweezers to toss and clean later. "What's to look up to?" Jason scoffs. "Being a fucking kiss ass and a goody two-shoes."

"Because he was the first Robin." Sam states casually. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, about you replacing him and shit whatever. But, didn't you ever look up to him for even a little bit?"

Jason hangs his head and while he's always felt less than and a bit like a failure when it came to filling his shoes, he definitely did look up to him. Dick created something so special and surreal when it came to Robin. He wasn't Batman, he was just a kid in a suit helping Batman and that was cool. Then Bruce had all of these stories about Dick and it always made Jason want to be like him because Dick was good. That's how Bruce always talked anyway. Jason doesn't know that Bruce always talked about Jason in the same way when he wasn't around. And Dick doesn't know how Bruce would talk about him to everyone else. But Jason heard the stories and how great Dick was. He never wanted to be exactly like him but he definitely wanted to be somewhat like him. Dick's parents were killed and he got to be Robin. By all that Jason heard, it seemed he made it out of it okay. He had Robin and he got to carry that with him. He got to have a career in helping people (kind of). Jason did want to be like him but the way he sees it, there's a reason people say not to meet your heroes.

"Still mad about the Joker shit but...uh," Sam sniffles again. "Don't know, be a lie if I said I didn't look up to him...and you."

"Me?"

"I always liked your Robin." Sam says quietly. "You were different. Felt like we needed your version. But I told you that."

"Surprised you still think it."

"I think we need someone like Red Hood." Sam states, catching Jason entirely off guard.

"What? Another fucking murderer?" Jason scoffs, looking to the window above the bed before he looks back to Sam.

He feels so ashamed of it all at times, like right now. It's because Sam is the one lying here after being shot by someone Jason thought he could trust. He knows deep down, crime in Gotham needs a change. The Bat doesn't fix everything, clearly. There needs to be someone out there that is willing to do more but Jason isn't sure that's him. He already burned his bridges. He doused them in gasoline and lit a match with a smile. He feels like he's on the wrong side and there's nothing he can do to rebuild that bridge to be on the right side anymore. If there's even a right side.

"No. Someone who's willing to do the heavy and bad shit in order to prevent worse shit from happening. Like I said, I'm not just killing people for you, it's for all of us and everyone that will come after us. I think we need people like that and people are afraid of you and rightfully so. I dunno. Just my take, I guess."

"Been thinking about the people I killed." Jason lets out a breath. "Heavy shit."

"Yeah, but a lot of that is greater good shit and the other stuff is Crane's manipulation so you shouldn't feel too guilty for those." Sam shrugs her good shoulder.

Jason shakes his head and he doesn't how she deals with any of it. Sam doesn't normally deal with much, if Jason is being honest. But, she seems to be dealing with this pretty okay. Somewhere in him, he always felt like if someone were going to go on a killing spree, Sam would probably be that person. Her morals have never aligned with Dick's or Bruce's. She has always felt like more could be done, permanently. But, Jason's surprised she seems so okay with it and with him killing people.

"How the fuck are you dealing with it?"

Sam lets out a broken laugh. "I'm not." Sam answers honestly. "So much shit is happening that I just...can't." Sam shakes her head. "Can't think about it."

Jaso nods with understanding. "Yeah." Jason sucks in a breath, deciding to drop the conversation. It feels too much again. Too loud. Too heavy. "Stay still." Jason leans forward, grabbing the rag before he starts cleaning her wound again.

Sam watches him carefully. He's not handling anything well which she can't say she really blames him for. She wonders what she would be doing if she were in his position. How would she ever forgive herself for not only everything that's happened but also being manipulated? Being manipulated isn't Jason's fault but she knows he's probably blaming himself for it because she would be blaming herself for it if it were her. She wonders how he feels about coming back. They haven't really talked about it and part of that is she's just afraid to ask because talking about him dying nearly sends her into a spiraling panic attack. But, she wonders how he's dealing with that and if he's happy he's back.

Jason's hands are steady as he grabs the gauze, his brows pinched together with concentration as he goes back to the wound and Sam finds herself wondering if they were meant to be anyway. Everything seemed so much easier in San Francisco. They weren't together then and it was all just fun and games. Sure, they were kidnapped and that was bad. But, that was one thing. Meanwhile, being together in Gotham has been a shitshow since the start almost. Maybe it's just the butterfly effect but Sam wonders if it was just them trying to find solace in each other or if it was as real as it's always felt. Maybe they were just feeding off of each other's own self-destruction and avoidance. Maybe being together helped the other one crumble.

Sam's eyes scan over his face and she realizes, she doesn't remember the last time she saw his face bruised. But, while they were together, he was always littered in them and almost almost had one somewhere on his face like a Jackson Pollock. That solidifies the thought of her. Maybe they weren't meant to be after all. Maybe they were actually bad for each other. Maybe them being together really was just them self-destructing, knowing damn well one of them would die and it would destroy them. Maybe being together was always a way to hurt themselves in the worst way.

And that hurts worse than the gunshot.

Sam has always been so sure about him. Even when she wasn't sure, a part of her was. It was always supposed to be him. Him and her. But, she was shot and she's thinking a lot about how people's lives might be better if she weren't in them anymore. She's thinking about how things might be better for Jason if they weren't together. She skews her own reality, convincing herself they got together in order to hurt themselves. That's all it could possibly be. She ignores every thought about her confessing how loving him is the easiest thing she'd ever done. She pushes every thought of every soft moment they have ever had into the darkest part of her mind where they can be tainted and painted over. She pushes away everything Jason has ever told her and goes against everything Jason has ever believed about himself and what he deserves. It all feels like lies to herself. It was just self-destruction because that has to be it, right?

She goes back and forth with herself. One part of her thinking this must be fact and the other part of her thinking it's just because it's a bad day. Everything feels worse on bad days and it is so easy to push everything good into a dark corner and paint right over it as if it were something different entirely. And today is a bad day. So, a part of her screams and begs for her to just ask Jason because Jason wouldn't lie. If it was all just self-destruction, Jason would tell her. He wouldn't lie about it.

"Do you think we were just a consequence of our own self-destruction?" Sam asks quietly, moving her eyes to the ceiling. "Or...was it like....real?"

Jason hears the question and pauses. He almost questions if he heard her correctly but he glances back to her and she's avoiding his stare which means he definitely did. His heart sinks and he thinks he forgot how to breathe for a second. Does she actually think that? Jason isn't sure what would hurt more at this point. Sam thinks that's all they were to him or that being all they were to her.

"What?" Jason asks, more for clarity.

"I mean like...exactly, uh, what I said. Do, uh, d-do you think we were just a consequence of our own self-destruction?" Sam chews the inside of her cheek and she regrets asking. "Or...was it all real?"

The question hangs in the air like the blade of a guillotine, just waiting for one of them to pull the rope and end it all. The air starts to feel stale and cold and heavy as Jason doesn't move, processing the question.

He's not entirely sure where that question is even coming from. This whole time, she's wanted nothing more than him and she's said that. She has told him that he is all she has ever wanted. Why would they just be a consequence? Was he just a consequence?

Jason sits all the way up, coming into view. "Do you think that?" Jason asks bluntly as his breath hangs in the stagnant air. It's as if he is clawing at the last remaining parts of his voice to remain steady and not shatter and break.

Sam looks back to him, following the hollowed lines of worry of his face. She isn't sure he's breathing and she regrets asking the question. She doesn't even know why she asked in the first place. It's not like she actually wants to know because sometimes not knowing is just better, less painful. And the look on his face isn't making her feel any better because he looks torn between devasted and angry.

"I asked you first." Sam says quietly.

"No." Jason states bluntly, almost harshly.

Being with her was never him self-destructing. In Jason's eyes, as much as it all got fucked up in the end, being with her healed more parts of him than he ever thought possible. Being with her actually healed parts of him he swore would never be put together no matter how hard he tried. Sam made him better. He got to be who he wanted to be with her and shamelessly, she fully accepted him. And he really thought, he could be that version of himself forever because she always convinced him he could. Sam made him want to put in a hard effort into coming home and thinking twice before doing something a little too reckless, outside of the whole Crane and Joker thing. Sam showed him what it was like to be loved without conditions. And Jason loves her still. No conditions. No consequence. No self-destruction. He loves her yesterday, today, and he is positive he'll love her tomorrow and every day after that because he wants to.

"Do you?" Jason asks, choosing not to elaborate.

Sam swallows a lump in her throat. Despite her own negative thoughts, Sam knows she doesn't. Not really. Maybe her thinking it is a self-destruction thing, maybe it's her way of trying in order to punish herself for Tim and everything else. but, no. Of course, not.

"No." Her voice is quiet and fragile, making Jason's heart sink because he knows there's a but coming. "But, uh..we just...we ended up here." Sam lets out a scoff. "And, uh, I don't know." She shakes her head. "We said some pretty fucked up shit to each other and I know...uh, I know you were high but, uh...yeah."

Devasted. That's all Jason can feel because he's one of the reasons she even asked. He knows he said some horrible shit to her and he can't take any of it back. Words are long-lasting. They enter the air and stick to it, absorbing itself into her lungs as she pulls in a breath and let it fester there. That's where the words start and travel to her brain where they store away, pecking at her just at the right moments. No one can rake words back and Jason knows that. But, he has to try anyway even if he doesn't think it'll salvage them. She has to know she meant and means the entire world to him still.

"I didn't mean any of that shit, okay? I swear, I didn't fucking mean it." Jason states quickly. "I was fucking high and I just wanted to fucking hurt you which is fucked up and I'm fucking sorry, Sammy." Jason spits out quickly but with a fire. There is no relief coming to Sam's face and even if they are nothing to each other after this is over, he needs her to believe him. Jason cups her face. "I fucking swear. We weren't a fucking mistake and you were the best thing that happened to me and I fucked that up. That's on me. You made me better. I'm fucking so sorry, alright?"

Sam nods against his hand. And she knows. She was also high and none of the shit she said is true. She didn't mean any of it. She didn't even mean the shit she said while she was sober. Maybe it's just a part of her that needs it to be verified today.

"I know and I'm sorry, too. I don't know. I just getting thinking about it, I guess. We both ended up here and it's just..." Sam sucks in a breath. "I know." Sam places her hands over his. "Because I said some horrible shit, too, and then I hit you. And uh...I know. It's just...that on top of everything else that happened. Like..." Sam shrugs softly. "You died, Jason."

Jason drops his hands, shaking his head, putting the pieces together. There is no way in hell Sam really thinks him going off on his own is her fault. Every piece of that shit plan, was on Jason. It was on him to just wait and get help. It was on him to reach out and get help. It was on him not to trust Crane. Everything was on him. That's not for Sam to carry.

"You don't really think that shit is on you, right?"

"I should have seen it." Sam sputters. "I should have fucking known, Jay. And the more I think about it, the more I think maybe I did know and maybe I just...let it happen to teach you a lesson about being dumb out there and—"

"Stop." Jason cuts her off sharply. "You would never let me go after the fucking Joker by myself. You never would have even if you wanted to teach me some lesson. And I don't think that's it either. You do the same shit I do." Jason scoffs. "I went after him. By myself. I do what I always did. I went after him. Alone, And I died alone. Because I never fucking ask for help. That's not on you. And it's got nothing to fucking do with us."

"Yeah, but if you were me?" Sam questions. "You'd be thinking the same thing. There were so many signs and I just...somehow missed every single one of them. I have to think I ignored them and maybe not to teach you a lesson but because I was scared."

Jason sucks in a breath and he knows she's right because if it were him, he'd never forgive himself. If the roles were reversed, he'd also be questioning how he missed it and maybe he let her do it. Maybe he ignored the signs on purpose. Jason, being on the side he is, knows for a fact Sam didn't willfully ignore any sign. Sam has shown him time and time again that if she has any say in it, she'd never let something happen to him. But, Jason understands why she thinks that so he sucks in a breath and decides to take some of that Gar advice for once.

"I remember what I was thinking about while the Joker playing whack-a-mole with my head." Jason mutters, earning him a grimace and a glare from Sam.

"Really?" Sam gives him a displeased look.

Jason shrugs. "Well..." Jason sucks in a breath with the quick raise of his brows.

"You do though?" Sam asks cautiously.

Jason nods. "Yeah, I...I remember everything." Jason swallows the growing lump in his throat. "Told you that, but...yeah." Jason nods quickly. "Remember thinking I should have just listened to you. I should have told you because you would have talked me out of it, you would have told Bruce and Dick. I'd be pissed...but you would have helped and I wouldn't be getting killed. So...just fucking saying," Jason sucks in a breath and goes back to her wound. "Me dying had nothing to fucking do with you and there was nothing you could have done differently. We weren't a consequence our own self-destruction. I'm really fucking sorry for all of the shit I've put you through."

Sam's brows furrow and her heart starts to break again. It must be a horrible task to wake up every single day with memories, even down to final thoughts, about literally dying. Sam knows it's her own personal hell at this point but the idea of Jason reliving it every single day...it's worse. And the fact he brought it up without her asking, she knows.

"I forgive you, Jay." Sam says quietly. "And I really, really, mean that, okay? Your, uh...your last thoughts...were regret?" Sam asks cautiously.

Jason shakes his head. "No." Jason answers plainly. "Not all of them." Jason lets out a breath. The last thing Jason wants is to talk about how the last thing he remembers is knowing he was going to die. Sam doesn't need to know that, that's for damn sure."I-I don't want to talk about it though. I really just needed you to know that."

"Thank you, Jay." Sam watches him carefully, seeing something distant and broken cloud over his eyes. His brows pull together as if he's in pain and his hand starts to shake. She hopes he'll talk about it one day. Maybe being brought back isn't all it's cracked up to be. "When you do want to talk, please talk t me."

"I will." Jason nods his head at her once before finishing up the wound.

"Maybe we were both just ticking time bombs to get here." Sam sucks in a breath. "I don't think we were a consequence and it was real for me. I just...had to ask I guess."

"Maybe we kept each other from getting here." Jason nearly mutters the words under his breath before he goes back to fixing up her wound.

Sam lets the silence fill the room as she thinks about it because maybe he's right. It wasn't until he died the two of them fell off the deep end. Sure, things weren't great for them mentally but maybe them together helped stabilize some part of them. Maybe being together was the glue they needed like a kintsugi sculpture. Putting broken pieces back together to be better than they were before. They ended up here but maybe that's better.

In the last two weeks, the two of them have learned more about each other and life and the consequences of everything. Maybe that's how it was supposed to be. So, they could be better people today. Maybe they rely too much on each other to help them mend their broken pieces but that doesn't mean they were bad together or they were the cause of this. That doesn't mean who they are today is worse. Maybe who they are today is better because it's honest. They are scared but they are honest and they aren't letting their fears control every aspect of everything they do. They're standing up for themselves in ways they didn't think they would. Jason is figuring out his shit now and standing where he should. Where he wants. He's standing up against people who made him feel worthless, something he otherwise never did too much. Maybe this is who they are meant to be in the end and maybe that's not so bad.

"Done." Jason backs away as Sam looks down, seeing her shoulder bandaged. "Don't get shot again." Jason manages the tint of a smirk.

"Gee, I wonder why I didn't think of that." Sam mocks him before she sits up and slides the hoodie on entirely.

"Yeah, you really fucking should have. I mean, get it together, babe." Jason offers a little bit of snark, the smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth.

"Okay, fuck you." Sam laughs softly. "Thank you."

Jason nods his head. "Anytime." Jason smiles softly at her.

Sam pulls out her phone from her other hoodie and hands it to Jason. "It died and it the chaos, I dropped my charging block." Sam offers a guilty smile as Jason takes her phone and plugs it into his charger. "So, uh, what're you gonna do about Crane? Like....fuck." Sam rolls her eyes.

"Kill him." Jason spits.

"No." Sam shakes her head. "I was serious. I wanna kill him."

"Seriously?" Jason quips.

"Yes. I'm sick of people making you think you're some fucking monster when you're not. And he fucking sucks anyway. He did everything to you, he almost got Dick killed, he's gotten innocent people killed, he almost killed me, and he killed or almost killed Tim. Yeah, I'd like to kill him." Sam lets out a sigh. "I mean, if you really want to kill him for what he did to you, go for it just let me get a shot in. If it's for me? Let me do it."

"It's kind of fucked we're even having this conversation right now." Jason chuckles. "Fine. But, I get a few fucking shots in. I meant what I said, no one gets to fuck with you again."

"And I meant what I said. No one gets to fuck with you, Jason Todd." Sam offers him a sweet smile, something that should feel off given they're talking about killing someone but instead, it brings Jason some sort of comfort.

A smirk grows onto his lips before it turns soft. "Can handle myself."

"Okay, no the fuck you cannot." Sam quips back as she lets out a soft laugh. "Just because you can though, doesn't mean you have to do it alone. I got you." Sam smiles softly at him. "You and me."

Jason remembers a night a few months ago and he was sitting in the library reading because things were just a little too heavy and loud that day. Sam walked in and started scrapbooking on the floor just so Jason wouldn't be alone. And he remembers thinking how peaceful it was, just the two of them. He remembers thinking he felt lucky.

In a world where he experiences so much pain and unfairness, he felt lucky in that moment and in every moment he got to spend with her. As much as he loves to beat himself up, especially these days, he'd like to think maybe he can be lucky again. Maybe he can be at peace again one day. If she keeps on thinking this and keeps a hold on him. If she's willing to not let him do this alone, just as she's said all those months ago in San Francisco, maybe they can get back to where they were and maybe they can be lucky and at peace. Maybe the universe will offer some sort of kindness for the suffering it's caused them.

"What about the Titans?" Jason asks, clearing his throat and swallowing his own thoughts.

"Right, yeah, I uh, I need to talk to Dick still. I told them it was Crane last night, not sure really if they believed me or not. Hope so. I'm sure Gar did so that's at least good." Sam nods her head a few times, hating the idea of having to explain this whole thing to Dick. She's kind of tired of being the mediator.

"We could just go take out Crane ourselves." Jason suggests casually as he gets up and walks to the other side of the room where he has a mini fridge seated against the wall.

"While that does sound like fun," Sam laughs softly because she wishes they could actually just do that. It would probably put an end to all of this but Dick would lose his shit. "I have an idea."

"I hate when you say that." Jason groans as he grabs two bottles of Gatorade and a box of granola bars from the top of the fridge before he walks back over to Sam. Jason tosses the box and one of the Gatorades at her before he plops down and scoots himself so his back rests against the wall, his legs extending in front of him. "Assumed you haven't eaten or had anything to drink." Jason explains, cracking open his Gatorade while Sam does the same.

"Yeah, I haven't thank you." Sam gives him a soft smile before she starts explaining herself, grabbing a granola bar before she starts her ramble. "Taking Crane out would be a fun time and he deserves it and most of our problems would likely be solved. However, what if Dick is right? What if he does have something bigger planned that we don't know about? And then we kill him and like...maybe he poisons everyone somehow or blows up the city? I don't know. We kind of need to know. And knowing his whereabouts would also be kind of helpful. So, what if you just....side with him still? Be the inside guy, right? And then Dick will really believe us that it wasn't you who shot us and you won't have to worry about Dick trying to turn you in, I wouldn't let him but still."

Jason pauses, holding the open bottle of Gatorade to his mouth. He's pretty sure Sam is suffering blood loss because that's insane. It's about as insane as her saying he should take the drug to not go through withdrawal. She's losing her sanity. "He already poisoned the water." Jason states.

"He did what now?" Sam blinks at him.

"Your phone died, yeah. The water is poisoned with something he did so don't drink it. GCPD put out an alert this morning." Jason explains.

"Oh, that's fun. Well, still. It's Crane. You know he has something completely insane planned. Probably." Sam scoots closer to Jason, sitting on her knees right beside him. 

"You want me to work with fucking Crane after he just tried to kill you? That's fucking insane. Do you know that?" Jason questions with a groan. he wants nothing to do with Crane, even if he could get information from him.

"Yes." Sam nods once.

"Fuck no." Jason shakes his head in the same casual manner before snagging a granola bar.

"Jay, look, okay he thinks he can still manipulate you so let him think that and find out what he's up to."

"He won't tell me shit." Jason shakes his head in annoyance as he unwraps the granola bar.

"Maybe he will now. If just tried to kill me and you go back to him anyway, right? Say I turned on you or whatever. That I think it was a setup against me so you wouldn't have to be the one to pull that rigger. If he knows you'll turn on n,e, maybe he'll finally trust you enough to tell you what's going on. You're a pretty good liar sometimes." Sam urges him and she knows this is an insane idea but it's what she has. The Titans will never figure out Crane's plan without some inside help. They need it.

"You said I was shit liar." Jason argues, pointing the granola bar at Sam.

"Well, to me." Sam chuckles softly. "I always know when you're lying but I think you can lie pretty well when you actually need to. I mean, no one figured out you were Robin. And I think that was obvious. I met you and all I thought was that it made sense."

"This is fucking stupid, Sam." Jason nods his head casually.

"Yeah, well, this whole thing has been fucking stupid. You go back to Crane, work with him and I'll stay with the Titans. You call the burner when you find shit out and I loop Dick in. You don't have to physically be home to work with us. You find out, the Titans bring in Crane and shut down whatever shit he's got going on, then we kill him and you go home." Sam explains simply and Jason hates just how convincing she can be.

She makes a good point. Jason knows he can lie his ass off, he just wanted to argue. He's worried though because Crane has a way of knowing Jason is lying. It's how he found out about Sam from the beginning of it all. Jason couldn't just lie because Crane would know. It wasn't exactly a life-or-death situation then though. Maybe Jason wasn't trying all that hard to get away with lying then anyway. Crane admitting his plan would be helpful and Crane thinking Sam turned on Jason would give Jason enough motive to give up on the Titans entirely. It's not a horrible plan but Jason isn't happy about it.

"Alright fucking fine but this is shit and you know that." Jason lets out a groan.

"I know." Sam smiles. "But, it'll be worth it when his prodigie betrays him in the end." Sam scrunches her nose, smiling with pride and Jason can see the light come back to her eyes. He thinks she's gonna be okay.

"You know, kinda hot when you got a plan all ready to go." Jason offers her a cheeky smirk, his eyes raking over her before coming back to her face.

"I do have my moments." Sam grins wickedly at him. "Kind of hot when you actually do what I say."

"Alright, fuck you. Don't get used to it, babe." Jason chuckles, shaking his head as the white streak flops onto his forehead. "When we doing this?"

"You could head out now, meet up with Crane and I'll head back to the manor." Sam suggests before taking a bite of her granola bar.

"Alright, just, uh, be careful, please. Let me know if shit happens with the Titans. I don't want them attacking you for this shit."

"I got it. I've been dealing with them the whole time. Don't worry, Jay." Sam smiles softly a him as Jason gets to his feet and stands in front of her.

There's something dark in his eyes this time. He's standing over her as if he doesn't really want to leave. His brows are pinching together in the way they always do when he's worried and his jaw is squaring. He's putting all of the pressure onto his good leg, something Sam still notices immediately. But, he stands as if he's an unmovable force anyway and the smirk drops from his face.

"I'm serious, alright? Be careful." Jason sucks in a breath and Sam's never seen him this kind of protective over her before.

"I will, promise." Sam offers him a soft nod.

Jason is still hesitant, keeping his stance in front of her and it feels wrong. It always feels wrong to just leave. But, it's not his place to offer something else in place of him leaving anymore. And he also knows the second he walks back to Crane, that'll probably the last time they see each other until it's resolved. Sam is going to have to go to the Titans and Dick will likely be watching her closely, to make sure she doesn't get herself killed or flip sides again. A lot can happen in a day or a few days and she was just almost killed. It scares the ever-living shit out of him, the very thought of losing her the way she lost him. He hates that he's leaving again. It's what he has to do and he knows that but knowing what he has to do to end this, doesn't make the decision any easier.

Jason leans down, placing his hand on her cheek before he rests his forehead against hers. Sam's eyes fall closed, a soft and subtle smile coming to her lips.

"Don't do anything fucking stupid and for once, listen to Dick and Gar, alright?" Jason asks, pulling just enough to see her face.

Sam's brows pull together. "You want me to listen to Dick?"

Jason is still mad at him and maybe Dick wants him dead still. That's always a possibility but something Jason knows, now that he's thinking with a clear head is that Dick does try to protect the Titans. They're his family and he's the leader. And Gar is one of her best friends. The two of them won't let anything happen to her if they can stop it. He knows Sam taking off had nothing to do with Gar and after last night, Jason thinks Gar would try to actually stop her if it happens again.

Jason's jaw swaures, reluctant to say it again. "I'm serious. You got fucking shot." Jason quips.

"Okay." Sam agrees softly, knowing if Jason is asking her to listen to anyone, she should probably take the advice. It always means Jason is very worried and serious. Two things that are a bit unsettling. "I will, promise." Sam smiles softly before pressing her forehead to his for a second. "Now, go, okay? I'll be fine."

Jason nods his head, pulling away and dropping his hand. "I'll call when I find something out." Jason offers one last nod before he turns and darts out of the room.

Jason heads out to an old mechanic shop to meet up with Crane and for the life of him, he has no idea why he's even agreed to this. The only thing he wants to do right about now is kill Crane. He wants to fight him and shoot him and cause him horrendous pain for what he's put Sam through. He could have killed her and Jason swore no one would ever get away with it. But, now he has to walk in here and pretend he's not pissed about it. He's a good liar, but he doesn't know if he'll actually be able to withhold his blooming hatred.

When Jason meets with Crane, Crane seems to be acting perfectly normal, seemingly believing Jason will always be on his side no matter what. It's something Jason finds to be interesting because he already knew Crane was arrogant. But, he didn't think he was arrogant to think Jason would just be perfectly fine with him after being drugged, tricked, lied, and used. He just shot Tim, possibly ruining his chances of actually going home. He could have killed Sam. Jason already threatened Crane but Crane seems perfectly fine with everything and Jason's wondering if that's because he agreed to meet.

"You could have fucking killed her." Jason starts with gritted teeth as they walk into the car garage.

"Yeah...sorry about that." Crane says casually. "She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sometimes, there are necessary casualties."

Crane is confident in his ability to manipulate Jason. Crane didn't have a single thing on the kid and Jason still spilled everything about Batman and the Titans. It was easy. It might become more difficult right now, but Crane is confident they'll overcome the current hurdle. After all, for the time being, Crane does still need Jason for his own disposal.

Jason wants to explode right here and take Crane out with him. A necessary causality? That's how Sam and Tim are being referred to? There is no such thing as a necessary causality when it comes to innocent people. Innocent people don't have to die. They don't have to be hurt. It was a choice Crane made in order to get Sam out of the way. To show Jason Crane is the one still running the show. And Jason has to stand here and pretend like this is all fine and lie. He's ready for this whole thing to be done and over with.

"You were right anyway." Jason sucks up his pride and does as Sam tells him. For that alone, Jason should get to kill him after this. "She was going to turn me in. It was all a setup, that's why she was even there."

Crane seems to perk up with Jason's words and he's hoping Crane believes him. "I did tell you she couldn't be trusted. That must be so hard to handle right now. But, see, now you know who has your back." Crane offers an eery smile. "Do I need to finish the job now?" Crane asks bluntly and he is definitely asking to gauge Jason's reaction. He doesn't miss the way Jason's hands turn into fists at his sides with his knuckles turning white.

"No." Jason states. "I'll do it." He states simply, releasing his hands.

"Good. Then you'll have nothing to worry about." Crane pats Jason's shoulder and Jason is ready to change the subject. He hopes that'll be enough bait for now.

"What the fuck is this?" Jason asks, switching the conversation as he looks around.

"This is where the victors go to rest their weary heads." Crane says.

"We didn't win." Jason argues. "They were gonna take me back but you fucked it all up." Sure, Crane did manage to poison the water but from where Jason is standing, it doesn't seem like too many people have been affected and with the alert going out, less people will likely drink the water. They didn't win anything.

"So you had a moment." Crane states simply, completely unbothered. "I've had plenty of them myself. Let bygones by bygones. I forgive you." Crane says before he pulls the cover off a yellow sports car. He lets out a sigh, as if to be pleased by the vehicle. "Sprezzatara."

Jason just rolls his eyes before he leans against the car, resting his back against the A frame. He's annoyed and he wants to get out of here. The hell is Crane forgiving him for? As far as Jason is concerned, he thinks getting him drugged was payback enough for him dealing the drug out behind his back. And Crane seems to be growing a little annoyed with him, too as he lets out a sigh before closing the garage door using the button hanging from a cable.

"Show some respect." Crane says sternly. "Sit." Crane deadpans, lightly gesturing towards a chair in front of a desk with a computer.

Jason does as told, sitting down and slouching in his seat. He's spent enough time with Crane to know Crane is about to go on one of his little speech things he does in order to justify whatever he's doing. Something in the very center of Jason's chest isn't sitting quite right with it. He's just got a real bad feeling about this one.

"You know who Edward Bernays is?" Crane asks.

"The sauce guy?" Jason questions.

"Eggs and bacon." Crane says, taking a seat beside Jason. "Classic American breakfast. Do you know why?"

"What's this have to do with--"

"Pork farmers paid Edward Bernays to make it so. See, but Edward Bernays, he had this...this uncle, right? Dear old Uncle Sigmund. As in Sigmund Freud. See, and Freud taught Edward Bernays how the human mind worked. And Edward, he worked the human mind." Crane starts to explain while Jason just watches him, wondering where the hell this could possibly be going. "He didn't sell the proletariat bacon. He sold them the idea that a hearty breakfast was what every doctor thought was best for them. After that, the bacon, it sold itself. Edward Bernays understood that an idea is the most powerful weapon we have." Crane explains before he swivels in his chair to face the computer, Jason eying him carefully and his heart starts to drop. Something is going on and it's about to go even more to shit than it already has. "It's not the product, it's how you sell it." Crane says as he brings up footage of Nightwing fighting some bad guys and Crane is in some type of editing software. "And Gotham is in need of a new product. We now interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you a message for the good people of Gotham."

Jason leans forward as the video starts to play, Crane already having sent it out as an alert to every person in Gotham City.

Oh no.