Demons

My consciousness returned before my senses did. I was aware that I was in trouble, that Merle Dixon had knocked me out cold, but I didn't know where I was now or where the hell Glenn and Maggie were.

As the ability to recognise touch slowly returned, I could feel harsh gravel poking into my back and shoulders and the throbbing caused by the impact to my head. A vibration carried across the ground beneath me, but I couldn't tell what it was. Moments later, the rumbling sensation stopped, and I felt warm, rough hands cupping my cheeks gently before I sensed myself being lifted into the air.

I could only hear a loud ringing sound, which I knew was coming from inside of my pounding head, rather than the world outside. I still couldn't open my eyes.

I didn't know if the collision of Merle's metal contraption with my head was making me imagine things, but I could have sworn I recognised the warmth of the body that was now carrying me. As my sense of smell returned, I realised I knew exactly who was carrying me, the smell of leather and old smoke filling my nostrils like it was calling me home, before I slipped into rest once again.

~

I opened my eyes slowly, having to blink back even the dim light of the lantern beside me. It looked like I was in a bunk in the prison, but I couldn't be. The person I was witnessing leaning over me was lost - devoured by walkers. The only explanation was that I was dead, my deceased friend here to take me on to whatever comes next.

"She's awake!" ghost Carol called out, beckoning Hershel who appeared at the door just moments later.

"You scared us, young lady." The farmer-turned-doctor told me, a worried expression gracing his features.

Awww, man. Now Hershel was dead, too? When did that happen. Goodbye, Captain Barbosa.

"What happened? Where's Maggie?" he couldn't stop himself from asking.

I tried to speak, but nothing came out save for a raspy croaking sound.

"She'll tell us when she comes around properly." My dead friend Carol was now telling Hershel.

I was so fucking confused.

I must have slipped back into sleep, because the next thing I knew, I was repeating the process - opening my eyes and letting them adjust to the light of the lantern. There was a different person in the room with me now, Beth, cradling the baby, which had now been given the name Judith, in her arms.

She shifted when she saw I was awake, eyeing me carefully.

"Athena." She spoke gently, "Are you okay?"

I was definitely back in the prison. Everything felt more tangible now. I'd obviously hallucinated seeing Carol in my concussed haze, hadn't I?

"I saw Carol." I rasped out, realising how incredibly thirsty I was.

"You did." Beth offered me a wry smile, before handing me a bottle of water.

"What? How?"

"Daryl found her in the tunnels, she'd been hiding in a supply closet. She's hurt, but she'll be fine."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Carol was alive.

"How on Earth did I get here?"

"Daryl brought you back. He came looking for the three of you when you didn't return from the run. He knew something was wrong. He found you in a parking lot - said he had to tie you to him on the bike so you didn't slip off. You were out cold."

Daryl had come for me - not just me, but still.

Merle had left me behind. I couldn't help but feel a little smug. I knew it was because he could tell I was more trouble than I was worth. Either that or he assumed I was already dead, but I was sticking with the first one.

"Do you think Maggie's okay?" she continued, tears welling in her eyes. "Rick, Daryl and Oscar have gone to try and get them back.. A woman arrived and told us where they could find them."

Rick was out on a mission? This had to be good news - It meant he wasn't hiding in the boiler room anymore. Though they must have been desperate to have roped Oscar into their rescue attempt, Glenn, Maggie and I would usually have been with them on any sort of pursuit.

"Do you know where the place is?" I asked Beth, sitting up stiffly and swinging my legs out of the bed, looking for my boots.

"Athena, you're hurt, probably still concussed. You can't go."

"Beth, I love you, but don't ever tell me what to do."

She looked defeated already. She knew as well as anybody that I couldn't sit back while people I cared about were in danger.

"Daryl was so mad you'd been hurt." She smiled at me knowingly. "I don't think I've ever seen him so angry."

I didn't know how to reply. Her statement had made butterflies erupt in my stomach.

"Beth, tell me where to find this place."

~

I parked the Hyundai around two miles from where Beth had been able to direct me to. I spotted a parked Toyota that I knew was from the prison, so I was confident this was the right direction. According to Beth, this was a big community and would have lookouts stationed, so I couldn't risk driving any closer. I set off on foot, staying away from the road, just inside of the treeline.

I clocked the town's perimeter easily - huge concrete blocks with tractor tyres piled high on top, creating a sturdy wall; a set of large brown gates serving as an entrance. There was no way anybody was getting in that way undetected, so the others must have found another means of access.

If they hadn't been captured first...

My stomach sank at the thought of Daryl being in there. He could hold his own for sure, but he didn't know about Merle. What would he do if Merle tried to hurt him? I didn't know how he'd react - his love for his brother was obvious during our search for him in Atlanta.

I found a section of the wall that didn't seem to be manned and was about to start climbing up it when I heard voices - voices I recognised. They got closer, and I saw Rick, Glenn and Maggie making their exit, clambering over the same wall I'd just planned to scale.

Maggie enveloped me in a hug the instant she saw me.

"We thought you were dead." Glenn advised me, as his girlfriend squeezed me so hard I couldn't breathe.

"Not just yet. Where's Daryl? I asked as the redneck still hadn't followed the over.

"Athena?" Rick asked, confused by my presence.

"Where's Daryl!?" I probed again, my patience thinning.

"Merle's in there. He went to find him."

Fuck.

I didn't stop to think about what I was doing. I turned on my heel and scrambled up the same wall my friends had just escaped through. They begged me to stop, but I had to find Daryl. I couldn't let Merle hurt him.

The streets of Woodbury were empty as I skulked along the shadows, trying to remain undetected. I stopped when I recognised a body on the floor. Oscar. I felt a pang of sadness, but my mind was too preoccupied to stop and pay my respects properly. There was nothing I could do for him now.

I became aware of loud cheering sounds coming from somewhere within the town, I followed them to find a makeshift arena with floodlights cast over it. At least sixty people sat in bleachers, eyes fixed on the arena floor. Merle was standing in the centre, looking uneasy.

Another man was being brought out onto the floor. He had a bag over his head, but I knew instantly from the way he held his body who it was.

Daryl.

Heart in my mouth, I made my way closer, trying to work out what the shit was going on. My jaw dropped when realisation dawned on me that I knew a face in the jeering crowd - Andrea.

She's alive? What in the actual fuck is she doing here with these people?

"This is one of the terrorists!" A man with a bandage covering one eye announced loudly to the crowd, dragging my attention away from Andrea. "Merle's own brother!"

He removed the bag from Daryl's head and the expression the redneck held was excruciating to witness. A mixture of relief at seeing his lost brother again, combined with fear at finding himself in his current situation.

"So what should we do with them, huh?" Bandage Bastard asked the rambunctious crowd.

The crowd yelled all sorts, but the most pronounced was 'kill them!'. I guessed Merle wasn't in the good books anymore.

"What? Want do you want!?" Bandage Bastard asked again.

More noise erupted from the crowd and I couldn't stay still any longer, I crept closer to the furore, ducking behind a garbage bin. I saw him lean over and say something to Merle, but I couldn't hear what.

"I asked you where your loyalties lie." Spoke Bandage Bastard again, addressing Merle loudly now, so the bloodthirsty crowd could hear him. "You said here. Well, prove it. Prove it to us all. Brother against brother. Winner goes free. Fight to the death!"

No.

"Y'all know me!" Merle cried out, rallying the audience. "I'm gonna do whatever I gotta do to prove..." He hit Daryl hard in the gut, sending him to the floor, "that my loyalty..." he kicked him forcefully as he laid on the ground, "lies with this town!"

I winced as Daryl took each hit. The hurt in his eyes wasn't just physical. I saw the way he looked at Merle as he took the blows. He was devastated.

I'd seen enough. I jumped up from my hiding spot and sprinted toward the arena. I didn't know how far I'd get before the cacophony of guards halted me, but I sure as hell wouldn't be watching Daryl get beaten to death by his own brother without trying to stop it.

The two Dixons grappled with each other, but it was obvious their hearts weren't in it. It almost looked like they were having a conversation as they fought. I made it to within feet of the arena floor before I was tackled by a long-haired beast of a man. He pinned me down beneath his weight, but I headbutted him hard and used the momentum to wriggle out from under him. My escape had drawn the attention of some of the crowd, and Bandage Bastard.

I looked to see Daryl and Merle now back-to-back, fighting as a team against the men surrounding them, plus the barrage of walkers that had just been released into the ring.

Could they not have done that BEFORE I threw myself haphazardly into the mix?

The brothers made it out of the ring just as Bandage Bastard started to approach me, another of his men grabbing me from behind. Daryl locked eyes with me in the same moment, shock and concern gracing his bright blues as he was about to follow Merle in the opposite direction.

I writhed and kicked in the man's grasp, before the redneck was at my aid, punching the man hard in the side of the head and grabbing my hand as the big oaf released me, dragging me with him after Merle.

I know it wasn't the time, but Daryl holding my hand again made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside, I almost forgot where I was. He didn't let go the whole time we ran, slipping between streets, until we reached a small gate. We burst through it and before long, we'd come back into contact with Rick, who must have been waiting to make sure we got out. Daryl dropped my hand as we approached, and I instantly missed his warmth.

"You're not goin' anywhere with us!" Rick shouted angrily, the second he saw Merle.

"You really wanna do this now?" Merle snapped back.

Now was not the time to be having a debate. We'd for sure have people coming after us. This sure-to-be shit show could wait.

"Rick, c'mon, we gotta go!" Daryl ordered, then yelled,"Let's go!" In frustration, when the cop hesitated.

The four of us hot-tailed the distance back to the cars, panting heavily as we reached them, just as dawn was starting to break overhead.

Glenn looked automatically vengeful as he recognised Merle was with us, his fists clenching tightly as he moved toward the older Dixon brother.

There was another person here now, too, a tall African American woman with long braids held back by a scarf, carrying a katana. She must be the one who told Rick where Glenn and Maggie were.

"Now we got a problem here," Rick spoke as calmly as he could muster to Glenn. "I need you to back up."

"What the hell is he doing here?" Glenn cried out indignantly, now pulling out his gun.

Katana Braid Lady brandished her own weapon beside him. "He tried to kill me!" she spat.

"If it wasn't for him-" Glenn started before being interrupted by Daryl trying to protect his big brother.

"Nah, he helped us get outta there!" The redneck growled defensively. "Drop it!"

"Yeah, right after he beat the shit outta you!" Rick hissed at Daryl, frustrated by the predicament.

"Hey, we both took our licks, man." Merle countered.

There was more squabbling, and I couldn't see a compromise being reached. Merle had put Glenn and Maggie through hell by the looks of it, so why would they want him anywhere near them? Hell, I didn't want him near me. He'd knocked me out cold and left me for walkers... but he was also Daryl's brother - his only blood family left.

Merle didn't help the situation, making kissy faces at Katana Braid Lady and generally running his mouth.

"Daryl." Rick sighed, clearly at the end of his tether. "You better shut him up."

"Merle, shut up!" Daryl snarled.

"Shut up yourself!" Merle roared. "Buncha pussies you roll-"

Rick cut him off abruptly, with a heavy pistol whip to the head - knocking him out cold. He also spat "Asshole!" at him in the process.

"It won't work." Rick told Daryl outright.

"It's gotta." Daryl insisted, a hint of desperation in his tone.

"It'll stir things up."

"Look, the Governor's probably on his way to the prison right now," Daryl pointed out. "Merle knows how he thinks 'n' we could use the muscle."

"I'm not having him at the prison," Maggie protested.

"He put a gun to our heads, do you really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Carol or Beth?" Glenn demanded, "Or Athena?"

"Merle's blood." Daryl stated indignantly, despite flinching slightly at the sound of my name. "Don't ask me to leave him. I already did that once."

"No, Merle is your blood." Glenn countered. "My blood, my family, is standing right here and waiting for us back at the prison."

"And you're part of that family," Rick added emphatically as Merle groaned, coming to. "But he's not."

"Man, y'all don't know," Daryl spat, defeated. "Fine. We'll fend for ourselves."

"That's not what I was saying!" Glenn insisted.

"No him, no me." Daryl replied stubbornly.

What? No. This couldn't be happening...

"Daryl, you don't have to do that." Maggie protested.

"It was always Merle and I before this." he argued back.

"You serious?" Glenn questioned, "You're just gonna leave like that?"

"You'd do the same thing," he pointed out.

He was right, I wouldn't have been able to leave Selene behind - matter what she'd done - but i desperately didn't want Daryl to go.

I wanted to say something - anything - but my mouth had gone as dry as one of Ghandi's flip flops. I wanted to beg him to stay, scream at him, even hit him if it would shock him into realising that we needed him.

I needed him.

I felt my eyes brimming with tears. I turned and walked into the woods without a word to anybody. I couldn't deal with watching Daryl walk away without being able to fight for him, and my body and brain wouldn't let me do it right now. The fear of never seeing him again sent my body into shock and rendered me useless.

He'd be an awkward pain-in-my-ass since our kiss, but nobody made me feel like Daryl did. Not one person in my life has ever made me feel so safe, protected, alive. He was the fiercest man I'd ever met, and he'd made me feel things in one make out session that I didn't even know were possible.

This had gone way beyond a schoolgirl crush. My feelings for him were intense, bordering on obsessive. I couldn't deal with this. I rested a hand on a tree trunk to steady myself, replaying our kiss over and over again while willing myself not to cry.

"Ath...' My thoughts were interrupted by the man himself. He'd come after me.

I didn't move, didn't look at him. I couldn't.

"M'sorry." He mumbled quietly, head down.

I scoffed. I did understand him leaving with Merle - of course I did, but it didn't make the thought of saying goodbye to him any less painful - especially as he'd barely spoken to me for days. Sorry wasn't good enough.

"Athena." He persisted.

"What!?" I yelled, rounding on him, my sudden ability to use my voice again surprising both of us.

"I can't not say goodbye to ya'."

"Fuck you!" I spat at him, a tear spilling down my cheek.

"I ain't got a choice, Ath. He's my brother."

"He's a dick!"

"I know. But he's blood. I ain't got no choice. I don't wanna leave..."

He looked down at his feet, shuffling slightly before continuing in not much more than a whisper.

"I don't wanna leave ya."

Oh God, here come the rest of the tears.

"Then don't..." I plead, my face getting wetter by the second.

"I can't lose him again."

"But leaving me is fine? Forget the other night Daryl, put that out of the equation - my best friend, the person I feel closest to in the world is leaving. I don't know how the fuck you expect me to act."

He chewed on his thumbnail, steeling himself for what he was about to say.

"Ath. I'm no good for ya. Look at ya'. You're the strongest woman I've ever met, and see what I'm doing to ya' - It ain't fair. I've been such a fuckin' asshole the last few days and ya' deserve better."

"Yeah, you have." I told him, a ridiculous half-laugh breaking through my tears."

"Yur my favourite person I've ever known, Ath. M'sorry."

"Then why? Why have you avoided me since we finally fucking kissed after all this time?"

He sighed, exasperated, closing his eyes and rubbing his face in frustration with himself.

"I ain't good enough for ya. You deserve someone less fucked up."

"We're all fucked up Daryl."

Yelling erupted from back at the road, Merle goading the others again, no doubt. It was obvious to us both that our conversation was over.

This was it. Daryl was going to leave.

My body acted of its own accord, closing the gap between us and wrapping my arms tightly around his waist. He stiffened as always, but instinctively wrapped his arms around me too, pressing his lips lightly to my forehead and letting them linger. I inhaled him deeply, memorizing his scent. I could tell he was doing the same, his nose pressed against my hair.

Is this really how it was going to end?

The commotion at the road grew louder and I knew he had to go. It took everything in me to loosen my grip on him, I slowly pulled away and he released me, sniffing quietly, not meeting my gaze.

I could tell he was welling up.

He set off in the direction of the others without a word - what was there left to say? I waited a moment to compose myself before also returning to the road, my heart heavy.

I watched as he grabbed a bottle of water from the trunk of one of the cars, signalling for Merle to follow him, as he crossed the road and disappeared into the other area of woodland opposite.

I composed myself for all of ten seconds before the tears started flowing again. I didn't bother to try and hide them - everybody knew I was devastated. Merle hadn't quite disappeared into the woods yet, and he caught a glance of me dissolving. He stopped for just a second. He looked almost sorry, regretful, before turning and continuing to follow his brother.

Maggie grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug. I didn't say anything, I didn't need to.

"Want me to ride back with you?" she asked softly.

"Nah." I sniffed. "I need some time."

Rick, Glenn, Maggie and Katana Braid Lady piled into one car while I returned to the other. I was angry that they were bringing back a complete stranger, yet they'd vetoed Merle instantly. I knew he deserved it, but it didn't seem fair.

I watched as the other car set off down the road and turned on my engine. My legs felt like lead, and even pressing down on the clutch seemed such a feat. The adrenaline had carried me to Woodbury and back out again, but now I was deflated, the injury to my head throbbing again.

Daryl took over my brain once more as I idled there. The way he'd softly kissed my forehead, sniffed my hair. The tears I know I saw forming in his eyes as he walked away from me. I saw how much he cared for me in those moments, his own demons clouding his judgement and rendering him unable to see how much he meant to me.

"I'm no good for you."

"You deserve better."

"I ain't good enough for ya."

"Ya deserve someone less fucked up."

It all started to make sense. I knew he had his issues and how little he thought of himself, but I hadn't realised how deep those insecurities ran. The whole time I'd be questioning his attraction to me, but that wasn't it at all. He didn't think he deserved me. He didn't know how to deal with his emotions and so he pushed me away.

"Nah. No fucking way. Not happening." I spoke out loud to myself. I wasn't letting him go until he knew entirely how much he meant to me and how special he was. Even if we still went our separate ways, at least I could live my life knowing I'd told the most beautiful man I'd ever met just how much he was worth, how much he deserved happiness and that he was my favourite person I'd ever known too.

I turned off the engine, climbed out of the car, the heaviness in my legs disappearing thanks to my new resolve, and I walked toward the woods - after him.

How do you think Daryl's going to react?

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