Chapter 8

P'Off stood before me and said, "So this is the reason why you're unavailable."

"P'Off... I did not know that it was this series that you were planning to audition in." I said. It was subtle, but there's a change in his tone, and his voice felt a little colder.

He just shrugged. "You did not ask." I did not know how to react to his words. Normally, he'd be close to me, sometimes messing with my hair. Now, we're inches apart, as if there's an invisible wall between us.

"Well, see you around." He said, then went off to talk to other casts. I sighed and met the other casts as well.

How am I supposed to work with him now that we're avoiding each other? I don't think I can last if we keep on being this way.

Which is why I need to sort out my feelings soon.

I kept sneaking a peek at him the entire afternoon. I wanted to drive him home, but I did not have the guts to ask. In the end, someone else drove him home.

Even in the university, he kept his distance from me. Some people noticed and started asking if we fought or something. I did not give them a reply, because I don't want to talk about it.

There was one morning when I was studying for an upcoming exam. I was busy reading my reviewer while walking towards the classroom. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my left shoulder. I looked to my left and so no one, but was shocked to see that I've reached the room already, and even almost walked past it. I turned around to see who tapped me in the shoulder, but people seemed to be minding their businesses. When I came in the room, I asked Mint if she saw who tapped me and replied with, "I think you know who." I don't even know what to feel about it, but I remember seeing P'Off walking with his back on me.

One time, I went alone to the restaurant that we used to eat at. The waiter asked me why I did not go with P'Off. He said that P'Off came in alone earlier than I did. I felt a little disappointed that I wasn't able to see him. I kind of wished that I walked faster. Maybe if I did, I would've been able to catch him. But then, I guess he'd just ignore me if we meet.

I miss P'Off.

The shooting for our upcoming series hasn't started, but we do have meetings, workshops, and some photoshoots. We act civil around each other, but I can feel a cold atmosphere around him whenever were close. It did not help that we had to do a photoshoot together since we're rivals in the series. It's as if the distaste in his eyes is real.

Finally, I gathered the courage to talk to him. It was dismissal. Instead of going home, I went to their condo. My hands tremble as I knock on their door thrice. I was relieved to see P'Tay open the door.

"Did something happen? Come in." He widened the door opening for me, but I shook my head.

"I just want to talk to P'Off," I said. I noticed his clothes and the bag he was carrying.

"Are you going somewhere?" He smiled at my question.

"I'm going to sleepover at New's house," he said. Well, that explains the spark in his eyes.

"Just go in if you want to talk to P'Off. I gotta go." P'Tay tapped my shoulder then left. I breathed in deeply before stepping into the house.

I tiptoed in their condo, looking for P'Off. He wasn't in the living room, and his room was open so he probably wasn't there. Then I heard a shout from the kitchen, "Tay, did you forget something again?" Once again, I felt myself tremble. I walked to the kitchen, towards P'Off.

"P'Off," I said. I saw his shoulders stiffen for a second. He turned towards me without saying anything. I slowly walk towards him.

"Is there something that you want to eat?" He suddenly asked. My mind was blank for a second, I did not know what to say.

"A-anything is f-fine," I said. Then, he signaled me towards the chair. I sat and waited for him to prepare something to eat. As it turns out, he was preparing dinner when I came in.

"I'm sorry for coming here unannounced," I said when he placed the food on the table. He just sighed.

"Let's eat first before we talk. I'm hungry." I just nodded. We ate in silence, it was almost hard to swallow the food.

I contemplated what I should say to P'Off. In reality, I just want to simply see him. I did not think about it carefully. Now, I'm happy to see him. On the other hand, I don't even know what I'm doing here.

I did not even notice that P'Off already finished eating until he stood up and took some dessert in their fridge.

"So, what brings you here?" P'Off asked as he started eating again.

C'mon Gun, think!

"I..." I felt helpless. P'Off was staring intently at me. I don't know what to say. I tried to look around the kitchen for some ideas but to no avail.

"You miss me, don't you?" I accidentally dropped the utensils I was holding. I mumbled a "Sorry." and took the utensils from the floor. Meanwhile, P'Off gave me another pair.

"Thank you," I said. He nodded and sat down on his seat. He was silent. I can feel that he's waiting for my answer.

"To be honest, I came here because I miss you." I blurted out. I don't have anything else to say. I did not dare look at P'Off's reaction. I focused on finishing the food on my plate.

"Why aren't you looking at me?" He suddenly asked. That made me look at him. He was smiling.

"I was embarrassed," I muttered. Then, I went back to finishing my food.

"I miss you too, you know." That made me look at him again. This time, he was the one who was intently finishing his food. I also went back to finish what I was eating to hide the smile on my lips.

"So..." I started. P'Off served me some dessert while he remains sitting opposite me.

"W-what are we gonna do now?" I asked. He seemed to think deeply.

"I guess we'll go back to avoiding each other tomorrow." He said. It pierced my heart.

"I don't want to avoid you anymore," I said. These past two weeks made me realize just how great my loss is without him in my life.

"Then, what are we gonna do? I can't just remain as friends with someone I kissed with, you know." He said. I don't know how to react to his words. Even I don't know what to do. All I know is I don't want to avoid him anymore.

"The only reason that we kissed is that you kissed me. To think that we were fighting that time." I said. P'Off gave one heck of a first kiss experience. I will surely never forget it.

"Well, you won't listen to me at that time." He replied. He sounded calm and composed, I don't know what to make of it.

"There were other ways to make me listen to you," I replied.

"Really? Like what?" He asked. He then snatched my spoon and started eating my dessert. Meanwhile, I can't think of a reply to what he said.

"Like... Anyway, you shouldn't have done that. It was my first kiss, you know. I wanted it to be special, and not... a way to silence me." I said. Then, I took the spoon from him.

"How was it not special? You like me, don't you?" He said. Deep inside, I feel glad to be able to talk to P'Off like I used to. On the other hand, the P'Off that pisses me off is back again.

"A kiss is supposed to be an act of mutual love," I said. He smirked at my remark.

"What?" I asked him. He just shrugged. Finally, he took a spoon for himself, and we shared the dessert. Our conversation made me a little dizzy, but there's a question inside my head that begs to be answered.

"P'Off," He looked at me.

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"What do you mean by it?" He asked. I inhaled deeply.

"The... kiss," I said, almost inaudibly.

"So you finally want to know why I kissed you." He said.

"Well, I still have a lot of questions. That's just the beginning." I said. He laughed at me.

"So why did you kiss me?" I asked. This time, I looked at him intently as I wait for his answer.

"I did it because I want to." He said. It caught me off guard.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He... what?

"I told you, didn't I? I want to be your first kiss." It made me silent.

"That's it?" I asked.

"Well..." He filled his mouth with dessert.

"Well, what?" I asked.

"You won't believe me." he replied.

"Try me," I said.

"I like you."