Chapter 9

"I like you."

My mind went blank. We were staring at each other, daring one another to back out. Neither shied away. I blinked once, then averted my gaze. I finished the remaining dessert.

My heart was beating so fast. I wonder if he can hear it. I hope I'm not blushing, but the butterflies in my stomach seemed to stir my cheeks to a smile!

Then, like a fragile glass, my illusion broke. The fact that he played with my feelings was like a stone thrown into my mirror of fantasies.

"Yeah, right. I don't believe you." He took the plate and my utensils from me. I looked at him and saw his crestfallen reaction, but he smiled when he noticed me looking at him. It made my heart hurt.

Maybe I was too harsh.

I watched him clean the table while contemplating what to do next.

Maybe I should just go home.

He put the plates in the sink and looked at me. We stared at each other in silence.

Maybe I should apologize.

But what did I do wrong? Did I say something wrong? Is there something that I should apologize for? I came here because I miss him, but that does not mean that he can play with my feelings again. It's not me who did the other person wrong.

It doesn't matter if you're wrong. You hurt him.

"Sorry.""Sorry."

I looked at him in surprise. We both apologized at the same time. I smiled at him. He smiled back, but it did not reach his eyes.

What should I do? How did we become so awkward?

"I think I should... go," I said, signaling at the door. His mouth opened but no words came out. I stood up but did not move to the door.

"Gun, about what I said..." He started. My heart started beating fast. Would he ask me to just forget about it? But I don't want to forget, even if it hurts and I can't wholly believe, I still want his words to be a valid memory.

"I mean it," he finished. I felt mixed emotions, I don't know how to react properly. He looked so sincere that it makes my heart rejoice, but my mind kept whispering that he might be just playing with my feelings.

"Please, listen to me before you react," he said. I simply nodded. I don't know what to say anyway.

"I know I was a jerk for playing with your feelings, but it wasn't my intention to hurt you," My mouth opened to say something sarcastic but I closed them again. He smiled at my reaction but did not comment on it. I guess it will be hard for me not to react.

"I can't remember when I first had a suspicion that you like me, but I just shrugged it aside. I mean, you're friends with everyone and comfortable with everyone. Maybe, it's normal for you to act that way." His words amused me. His tone somehow made me feel warm inside.

"Normally, I'm not a touchy type of person, but I feel comfortable if it's you. When you're clingy to me... I can't help but respond. I mess with your hair and say flirty stuff. I did not know that by doing so I was playing with your feelings." I was dumbfounded. I looked down, feeling mixed emotions about what he just said.

"Okay, that sounds dumb, but you don't open up about your feelings. Even if I have my suspicion, I can't confirm it. Besides, I don't want to lose you. I'm not someone who messed around and flirts around, but I'm afraid that if I don't show you the same attention that you give me, you might slowly lose interest in me." My heart ached. Is this what he's been thinking all this time? To think that I even told him that we should avoid each other. P'Off might seem like an easygoing person, but he's been through a lot.

"...but that was just at the beginning. The more you're beside me, the more I get used to showing my messy and flirty side until I just woke up one day that I fell for you." I looked down upon hearing his words. It made me feel warm inside, my cheeks must be turning red. I should've listened to him before. Then, we wouldn't have to avoid each other. I feel terrible for thinking that P'Off could be so cruel to play with my feelings. The truth is, I was the one who's playing with feelings here. I always show how I feel but I never say it.

"I admit that I reacted badly when you confessed because I wasn't ready to face my feelings then. I did not want to reject you, but I wasn't ready to accept it either." His words pierced my heart deeply. He did not deserve my hate and anger. He did not deserve the way I treated him that night that I confessed to him.

"But don't worry, now that I've finally told you my side, I can finally truly avoid you as you wanted."

No.

I don't want us to avoid each other any longer. Why would I still want that after hearing his words? I asked for space to clear our minds. In reality, what I needed is his explanation.

"You know P'Off, I just remembered the reason why I came here," I said.

"What is it?" He asked. His hands went to his side, the way he always does when he wants to hide his nervousness.

"I came here to say that... I don't want us to avoid each other anymore. Let's be... friends again," I said. I know that he's not ready to be in a relationship, so I won't force him. Now that I knew about his feelings, I'm willing to wait for him until he's ready.

He nodded at me.

"Okay. Let's be friends again."