Chapter 7

"Yesterday, you confessed your feelings. Today, you just want to be friends. Don't you think you're the one who's playing with someone's feelings here?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. I don't know if I should feel offended or hope that his words mean something.

"Do you want to remain as friends?" He asked. There's a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"Why do you sound disappointed? The last time I checked, you did not like the fact that I confessed to you? Isn't that what you want? To remain as friends?" My energy is drained from the lack of sleep. I did not even know that I can feel this much pain and frustration right now.

"What do you want, P'Off?" I asked. He shook his head and sat beside me.

"I just want us to be fine." He said quietly. I sighed. How are we even supposed to fix our relationship at this point?

"P'Off," I turned towards him. He's solemnly looking at the ground.

"I think we should avoid each other for now." He turned towards me. His face was unreadable. His mouth would open, but no words would come out.

"Just for now, until we've sorted out our minds and feelings. Please, I need it," I held his arms. He shook his head once again.

"For how long?" He asked. My mind went blank. Our situation isn't something that I can just sort out in a night. I can't even sort out my closet properly.

"I don't know," I whispered. He moved his arms away from my grip.

"But I promise, once I'm ready to talk, I'll come to you myself," I said. He looked at me as if he didn't believe me. I can't blame him. I don't believe myself either. I looked at my watch and saw that my class already started. He saw me look at my watch and sighed once again. Then, he stood up.

"Do what you want, then." His words stung, but this is what I needed, even if I don't want it.

"But can I ask you for a favor?" He asked. I just nodded and stood up as well.

"Will you still come with me to the audition tomorrow?" He asked. There was a hint of hope in his voice. I knew then, I'd want to come back to him as soon as I can.

"Sure," I said. Then, we both went on our way.

It was silly of me to think that things were that simple. Just think about it, fix our relationship, and we can go back to how we were before. In reality, things don't usually go the way we wanted, but we as humans, still hope for things to go well. I don't know if that made humans hopeful or stupid.

It was dismissal. P'Tay was the only one at the gate.

"Let's go home." He did not say anything more, but I knew that I won't be seeing P'Off this evening. It made avoiding him easier, but it hurts. Why did I even ask for space in the first place?

"Can you tell me what happened?" P'Tay asked.

"Off was so out of himself during classes. I'm worried." He added. I sighed. Why do I keep on making decisions that I regret later on?

"I confessed to him," I said. P'Tay did not react, so I just went on.

"We had an argument and now... well, I asked him for us to avoid each other for now," I said. It sounds so simple, I wish it was that simple.

"That's shit." I looked at him. He said those words monotonously. I don't know what to make of it.

"Only the two of you can sort that out, but I can tell you this." He said. I looked at him. He was also looking at me.

"He cares about you more than you think." It made my heart go cold. Maybe I really shouldn't have confessed. That way, we won't have to be this way.

"He doesn't usually open up about his feelings, but if you'll try to look closely at his actions, you'll know how he feels about you." I just sighed. Why are feelings so complicated?

"Well, he avoids me now. Maybe, he hates me." I just muttered. I want to beat myself up for being so inexperienced in these things. I wish I don't have to be hurt. I wish I don't hurt the people I love unknowingly. It's the worst.

"I don't think so," P'Tay said. He stopped walking. We're in front of my house already.

"I think that just shows how much he cares about you." He said. It left me dumbfounded.

"Good night." He said and waved at me. Then, he started walking the other way.

"And by the way," I was about to get inside when he spoke again.

"The only reason I walked you to your house is because Off bribed me." He said with a half-smile. I smiled back at him. He then turned around and walked off. I went inside the house.

"P'Gun, your manager called to remind you to come to the office tomorrow." I stopped in my tracks. I completely forgot about it.

"What time is that again?" I asked.

"I think around 2 in the afternoon." I heaved a sigh.

"Okay," I said and went to my room. Maybe I can make it then. Surely, P'Off won't take too long to do the audition.

Dang. I should've asked P'Off for details. I don't even know where his audition will be.

I took a quick shower after dropping my stuff. There was an unread message on my phone when I went out of the bathroom.

P'Off: I'll pick you up at 1 p.m.

"Shia!" I immediately called my manager.

"What's wrong?" My mother came into my room. I immediately apologized and told her it was nothing.

When my manager picked up, I immediately asked if my schedule could be moved.

"Sorry, nong. It was already moved twice. We can't delay it any longer." I sighed. I apologized before ending the call.

It was the hardest minute of my life. I typed a message and hit send.

P'Off, I'm sorry, but I'm not available tomorrow afternoon.

It made me feel worse that his reply was a simple Fine.

That night, I wasn't able to get any sleep. I wanted to ask him to tell me how the audition will go, but it might be too much to ask. In the end, I decided not to ask him.

The next day, I went to the office earlier than scheduled.

"N'Gun, good thing you arrived early. They've already completed the cast for the upcoming series." My manager then showed me where the other casts are.

I did not expect life to be this mischievous. Within one week, my whole life has turned upside down.

"According to the script, you will pursue the main girl, and he will be your rival." My manager then went on to explain the other characters there are, but my focus was on my supposed rival.

P'Off stood before me and said, "So this is the reason why you're unavailable."