Explanation

So, it's been 5 months since I wrote this. I unpublished it for a while because it was too hard for me to write. I'm back again and healthy:). Well, now I have problems which some people see as depression but I don't and idk... My eating problems are as good as over :) 👍... So now I can write the end of this story... It's been a while though. I will also edit this story and makes some parts better.

Thank you for the almost 300 reads from 5 months ago. ILY.... By the way, I'll drop my Instagram name so if you want to talk to me about yore problems, I'm here... I don't judge. You can' talk to me about anything... It's - @meeuwtae - Thank you and I hope you enjoy the end.

Again edit after idk 4 years? ... i'm an adult now lmao. I'm 18, becoming 19... and i've done a lot. I've been to a mental hospital, got out worse, started college and grew a lot all by myself. My eating disorder is like 90% gone. Some days are still hard but as i grew older, i got to realise more that i'm no longer a child and that my body was becoming a woman and now i'm letting it do its natural thing. Aside from the eating disorder part, i got diagnosed with A.D.D which i'm surprisingly happy about cause now everything makes sense. I just always thought i was weird and alone. I'm still having a very difficult time with myself and i don't like to talk about it, but i grew up and learned a lot. Things i already knew but only now got to me.

Just so you know... it really is just all in your head. Ur afraid if you fight against it, you'll lose control. You actually lost control now, take it back. Don't let anything else like an eating disorder take over your body and brain. Stay stong, i believe in you. I could do it, if you want to, we can do it together. Just text me

Edit 2026: WHY THE FUCK U LYINNNN WHY YIU ALWAYS LYINNN... i was NOT okay in 2020 when i wrote this. I was honestly okay when i wrote the first edit when i was 18... and now again... 3 years later wait? How even is this 3 years. So i wrote this in 2020 when i was 15... i was 18 when .... yk what nevermind. I'm old now. 21 yo... becoming 22. WHYYYYY ... i feel really old. I have a stable relationship and im almost graduating college. I'm having some hard time now but i know that if i wouldve gone through this 5 years ago, i would be back in the hospital. Its still hard but life goes on you know.

And update about the eating problem...

Dont read if this is hard for you.

But when i wrote this story, i only weighed 60 - 62 kg and i'm 183 cm (yes a girl just tall). I was underweight ofc. When i was the most happy... i was 67 kg. Now i'm 73 kg. I'm having a little trouble with my confidence since it was 8 kg that i gained in a bit over a year and my boyfriend weighs 10 kg less than me. So yeah but... im healthy and that mf isnt. No hes just built like that but i lobe him. And honestly the reason im writing this. When i wrote this story, i would NEVEEEER be with someone who was smaller and skinnier than me. NEVAAAH. and honstly, when i see pictures of us where i look like a giant eventhough im only 3cm taller and i feel like a bear, i know that i would never choose someone else and that i shouldnt change myself to fit with him. I'm healthy and i'm an adult now. I cant expect to have the body of a 15 year old. And to all the teenagers, adults and anyone out there. You only have one life. Wear that crop top, wear that skirt, eat your favorite meal. Cause you never get your childhood, teenage years, 20s... back. I spent my last year of highschool worrying about how i look. I got in the mental hospital and yeah... i didnt graduate highschool. Now im spending 4 years to get my college degree that normally only takes 2 years bc i cant just do bachelor without highschool degree. So yeah. If you ever need to talk. Comment and ill send you my instagram. Just if you want like... advice from a big sister. And if you really want tl lose some weight, ill try to give you tips in a healthy way, the way i'm also trying to take care of my body right now❤️