Chapter 17 - My Love Won't Let You Down

Chapter 17 - My Love Won't Let You Down

TW - mention of rape and physical abuse

Someone pov

"When the party's over and your friends have all gone" I hear a voice singing softly.

"And you're wondering where it all went wrong" I don't understand where it's coming from but it sounds so familiar.

Wait! I know that voice!

"I'll come running when you call out my nameAnd it'll always be this way"

It's Jesy! What's she doing here? Wait, where is here?

"I'll be there for youNo matter what you're going through" Leigh's voice replaces Jesy's and I try to focus on the words

"I'll be there with youAnytime that you need me to" Jesy again, sounding moved. I listen carefully, I don't recognise the song, but it gives me a sense of safety.

"Trust me, my love won't let you down" Jade, I would recognise her voice anywhere. I'd like to believe you Jade.

"Yeah, I know you've been losing the fightYou been knocked down a million timesScreaming out, you don't know what to doThat's when I'll be right next to you" oh, yeah, Leigh, you can say it loud, I try to open my eyes but it feels like my eyelids weigh tons.

"We can sit on the edge of your bedTell me all of the fears in your headAnd I'll sing you your favourite song

'Til the pain and all the tears are all gone" Jade's voice is about to break and I know she's crying. I wonder what is going on, I want to open my eyes and take a look but my brain doesn't seem to cooperate, I stay here and listen to these beautiful words... they seem so familiar and yet so unknown.

"I'll be there with you No matter what you're going through I'll be there with youAnytime that you need me toWhen there's no one else around

On your last breath calling out" now they all sing together and there isn't a lovelier sound in the whole universe. I feel so at peace, as if no one could ever hurt me again.

"Trust me, my love won't let you down" Jade repeats and then silence falls.

I feel something brush against my cheek, it's warm and soft. Lips. Not just anyone's, they're Jade's. I recognise her soft, gentle touch.

I would recognise those lips anywhere.

I feel her fingers softly touching my skin, from my shoulder to my hand. Now she squeezes it.

"Come on, love, come back to me. Trust me. No one will ever hurt you again. Come back to me" Jade's voice is distant but I can still hear her.

The words of the song come back to me.

Trust me, my love won't let you down

I think about it for a moment more. I don't know if I can trust her, but I feel so safe as she squeezes my hand and I can't ignore this feeling. I take courage and think back to us. Our whole story.

Okay, Jade, I trust you

Jade pov

"Trust me, my love won't let you down" I end singing. I look at Perrie for a reaction, but no response. I am slowly losing all hope that she will come back to me.

I get up from my seat beside her bed and lean down to kiss her cheek, I hesitate and stay like this to feel her skin against mine, with one finger I trace the length of her arm and then squeeze her hand.

"Come on, love, come back to me. Trust me. No one will ever hurt you again. Come back to me" I whisper in her ear.

Please Perrie, wake up!

Come back to me!

I lean against the curve of her neck and cry silently.

She won't come back

"Jade" Jesy calls out to me but I can't move, I can't get away from Perrie, I'm afraid if I let her go I'll lose her forever.

"JADE!" Leigh almost screams.

What do you want from me?

"Jade! Look!" Jesy says with shock in her voice and curiosity gets the better of me.

I raise my head and what I see leaves me breathless.

Oh my God

The desert meets the ocean and finally my world comes back to life.

I can't believe it

"Jade..." her voice is hoarse and weak but it is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

"Oh my God!" I cry with joy and sob uncontrollably, clutching Perrie as if my life depended on it and basking in the warmth of her skin "I missed you so much! Forgive me, love! Forgive me, I'm sorry!" I cry and scream and laugh and I know I sound crazy but I don't care.

Immediately the room fills with nurses who want to pull me away from her, but my grip is too tight and they can't move me away. I won't let her go. Ever.

"Jade, come here, let them check her" Jesy says slowly but I can see the happiness and elation in her gaze, Leigh cries and smiles incessantly and continues to look at Perrie.

I see her eyes open and close and I read the confusion in them, I want to hug her again but I use all my willpower to let the nurses do their job.

They check her vitals and all those strange things written on the monitors being careful not to touch Perrie or overwhelm her.

Perrie looks at me for help, I know she feels under pressure and is struggling to understand. I know she is scared but I am here and I will not let anyone hurt her.

The nurses tell me I can go back to her and that Dr Monroe will be here any minute.

Lesy and I don't let them tell us twice and slowly walk back to her bed.

I move my hand closer to hers but without taking it, she looks at it and hesitates but then slowly reaches for it and intertwines our fingers. I smile until my cheeks hurt but I don't care.

Perrie is startled, her pulse is racing and her chest rises and falls quickly. But she doesn't take her hand away. She looks into my eyes as if she can find all the answers.

Her gaze rips through my heart, I see all the pain, fear, shame and regret, but there is also a small light and I know there is hope.

She starts coughing and Leigh hurries to get a glass of water with a straw and slowly and cautiously reaches over and brings the straw to her mouth.

Perrie stiffens and looks between me, Leigh and Jesy to keep an eye on our every little movement. I think she has got used to always being on the alert, like an animal escaping from the hunter in the woods.

She slowly opens her mouth and takes a couple of sips without ever taking her eyes off us.

She lowers her gaze and Leigh pulls the glass away from her. We remain silent just enjoying the fact that she is back.

I hear Jesy whisper behind me that we need to warn Debbie and Leigh replies that she has already written to her and is on her way.

Perrie continues to stare at us and I feel a slight tremor coming from her hand.

She is terrified

Dr. Monroe enters Perrie's room who squeezes my hand until her knuckles turn white and I feel the blood drain from my limbs.

"Hello, Perrie. Welcome back, darling, how are you feeling?" Dr. Monroe asks cautiously while remaining at a safe distance, I feel Perrie start to shake like a leaf and I see her looking around for an escape route. Dr. Monroe is extremely kind, but yet intimidating looking man and I think Perrie doesn't feel comfortable with him around, or men in general, or human beings for that matter. Her eyes bounce from one side of the room to the other without ever meeting ours or the doctor's, but always keeping the situation under control.

"Oh, look, they're calling me!" Dr. Monroe says with mock surprise realising that Perrie is not comfortable with him, "Sorry, dear, I have to go. I will send Dr. Montgomery to you. Bye Perrie, take care" the doctor looks at me with a slight smile and walks out the door. Soon after we see a charming redhead in her forties enter.

The woman takes only a few steps and stands in front of Perrie's bed hinting a warm smile. Perrie watches her still trembling but seems to relax slightly.

"Good morning, dear, I'm Dr Addison Montgomery, how are you feeling? Do you feel pain anywhere?" the doctor asks calmly and gently. She looks at her and then closes her eyes and shakes her head.

"Good, very good. Now, Perrie, I need to pay you a little visit, is that alright with you, dear?" the redhead just takes a step towards the bed and I feel Perrie's hand squeeze mine. My baby tries to flinch but can't move and starts breathing heavily. I see Lesy with worried looks as they analyse all of Pez's movements as I do.

"Don't worry dear, I promise it won't be anything bad and I'll be very quick. I'll just get a little closer and tell you everything I need to do before I do it, okay?" the doctor asks cautiously and stays still in her place waiting for Perrie to give her an answer. Pez takes four or five deep breaths and closes her eyes before opening them again and nodding.

"Good, now I'm going to come next to your bed and point this little light into your eyes. It won't hurt, you'll just have to follow the light as I move it, is that alright with you?" she says as she shows Perrie and us a small cylindrical torch.

She hesitates but then nods, so Montgomery approaches slowly and in small steps placing herself at Perrie's side but not too close. Pez removes her hand from mine and grips the sheet tightly as her breathing quickens. Addison stays still and waits for her to calm down before continuing, when she seems to relax the doctor shows her the torch and turns it on pointing it at me.

"See, it's just a little light, it won't hurt you" Addison says with a warm smile. "When you're ready I'll point it in your eyes and you'll just have to follow the light, alright dear?"

Perrie nods and takes a deep breath before looking at the redhead and motioning for her to continue, the exam passes without too much trouble and as soon as it's over the doctor walks a few steps away marking the results of the test on a tablet.

"Good, Perrie, you did very well" she says smiling, "Now I'm just going to ask you a few questions, okay? Do you know where you are?"

Perrie opens and closes her mouth several times as if she wants to answer but can't, "H-hospital" she says in a whisper and I'm not sure if she said it or I imagined it, but Addison smiles and I have my confirmation that I heard correctly.

"Well, do you know why you're here?" the redhead asks and Pez hesitates but then shakes her head, "What's the last thing you remember, dear?"

She seems taken aback and I see her heartbeats speed up on the monitor as she closes her eyes and clenches her jaw.

"Easy, Perrie. We're in no hurry, just take a deep breath and try to remember" the doctor speaks slowly. Perrie does as she is told and closes her eyes.

"I-I was at the hotel. I-I s-saw Jade, Jesy and Leigh." she keeps her eyes closed and we stay in silent as we wait for her to continue, "T-then A-Alex c-came back... He w-was m-mad at me so-so he p-punished me"

He beat her

"L-later he said he was going to the restaurant and-and I s-stayed in the room and... and everything went black" Pez hesitated but then took another breath and continued "I-I woke up and he was on t-top of m-me... he-he made l-love to me"

He raped her

"I-I passed out, I think. And when I woke up h-he was in front of me and-and he-had J-Jade's j-jacket in his hand"

Oh my God

My jacket

"He-he was f-furious and-and he-he... he-he"

He tried to kill her

"All right, dear. I get it" Dr. Montgomery says sadly, "Now, Perrie, I need to do one last test, I saw you move your arms and torso well, I need to check how your legs are. I'm going to touch your legs and all you have to do is tell me if you can feel my hands, okay? I'll be quick and I promise I won't hurt you."

Perrie shakes her head frantically and gasps for breath. I take a step towards her, but she opens her eyes wide and I step back again. Jesy and Leigh watch the scene and I can see they are barely holding back tears, like me.

"I know you're scared, dear, but you'll be able to control me all the time and as soon as I hurt you I'll stop" Dr Montgomery says keeping calm "Tell me when you're ready"

Perrie keeps panting and I'm scared she's going to have a panic attack, I look at the monitor and her heartbeats are twice what they should be. My baby is so terrified just because someone has to touch her ankles that my heart breaks knowing there is nothing I can do to help her. 

After minutes that seem like hours Pez grabs the bars of the bed and holds them tight before giving a nod of assent to the redhead standing by the edge of her bed.

"Look into my eyes and just tell me when you feel my hands, alright dear? I'll be gentle"

Dr Montgomery brushes Perrie's ankles with both hands and immediately she stiffens more than she has been all this time, then closes her eyes and nods.

"Good" Addison says with a shy smile, then proceeds to brush her shins and knees, and Perrie tightens the bars of the bed until her knuckles turn white, then nods again.

The doctor moves up to mid-thigh and Perrie's eyes widen as she begins to shake. "I'm almost done, dear. You're very good, keep it up. Does it hurt?" she shakes her head and continues to stare at Addison as tears line her cheeks. Addison goes up a little more and brushes Perrie's thighs just below her waist.

"N-NO! PLEASE DON'T!" my baby screams and curls into a ball sobbing, Dr. Montgomery immediately pulls away and tells her to breathe and that she's done.

"NO MORE! PLEASE, NO MORE!" Perrie continues to scream crying and shaking. She clutches her knees to her chest and the monitors make loud sounds.

"Prepare me a sedative and call Dr Blossom now" Addison whispers to the nurse who was in the room all this time without me noticing.

Pez continues to shake and I decide to move closer to her, I kneel down and stand inches from her face.

"It's okay, baby, you're okay. No one wants to hurt you, love" I whisper slowly.

I take the hand she holds close to her chest and squeeze it.

"PLEASE, PLEASE STOP!"

"Alright, baby, I won't touch you but breathe for me, okay? Breathe in and out, you can do it, love" I keep whispering to her in a calm voice and wait for her to do as I say, after about twenty minutes she calms down and I see her body relaxing. Pez opens her eyes and looks at me, pulling away a little but still remaining calm.

I turn around and see that Jesy, Dr. Montgomery and the nurse have disappeared and a red-eyed Leigh is staring at me as she silently cries.

Jesy pov

As Jade approaches Perrie, Dr. Montgomery motions for me to follow her and we leave the room walking a little ways away.

"How is she?" I ask her in panic and wait for her to answer when she looks at me sadly.

"Physically everything seems fine. The brain doesn't seem to have been damaged, Perrie can hear, speak and move and is aware of her surroundings or who she is. Her memory also works. In a few days I should have proceeded with a gynaecological examination to check the internal wounds, however at the moment that's impossible and will have to wait. On a psychological level, the trauma is much more serious than we expected. I have called Dr Blossom, a therapist, to visit Perrie and make an examination. She will already come today to check her"

I assimilate all the information and think about what a gynaecological examination will be like for Pez. As things currently stand, it will be months before she allows someone to touch her.

"How long will she have to stay here?"

"We will do more tests in the next few days, if all goes well she should be out in a week"

Dr Montgomery tells me to call her if we need her and that she will be Perrie's doctor from now on. She shakes my hand and greets me.

Then I hear shouting coming from Perrie's room and I recognise the voice, my blonde friend is screaming with all her voice, I approach the door and before I open it I hear her, "This is all your fault! You took everything away from me! Get the fuck out of my life! I never want to see you again!"

I'm about to grab the handle when I'm overtaken by a redhead with peach skin who cautiously knocks on the door. A little later Leigh's voice tells her to come in, the redhead closes the door behind her and I'm left interjected trying to figure out who she is and what happened just now.

As I get my thoughts in order the door opens again and I see Jade come out in tears accompanied by a tired looking Leigh-Anne.

What the fuck just happened? 

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A/N - Hello guys!!! So, finally Perrie is back! 🥹🥳❤️

But now the hardest part will begin...

Will the girls be able to help Pez and make her feel safe again? 

Will Perrie recover or will her life be ruined forever?

See you tomorrow with the update of No Time For Us ❤️

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Thank you for reading and take care 🌈🍪

- C