Chapter 9 - The truth pt. 1

Chapter 9 – The truth pt. 1

TW - mention of rape and physical abuse

Jade pov

It's been a year since Perrie left, a year that Jesy, Leigh and I try to write a damn album but we can't write anything. I hate to admit it, but without Perrie things are different.

But after what she did, it's better this way. I thought she would always tell me the truth. I thought she trusted me. But, instead, she did nothing but lie.

Sometimes I miss her, I miss her smile that lights up the room, I miss her laugh, I miss her soft and sexy voice and her humour. I miss her sweetness and sensuality. I miss her way of writing, of rhyming simple words and making you feel all her passion. I miss her.

But Perrie left with Alex and I can't forgive her.

Anyway,

A year that we write shitty songs and keep postponing the release of the album saying that it is because of promotion, in reality the album doesn't exist at all. We recorded three songs and that's it. We have not yet given the news of Perrie's departure. If you ask me, I don't agree with that, but it was a marketing decision.

Without Perrie things are different, we can no longer write, we can no longer communicate, we can no longer be happy.

As angry as I may be with her, Perrie has always been our ray of sunshine.

And now there is only rain

I heard that she moved to Liverpool with Alex eight months ago from a gossip magazine, she never called, she never texted. Nothing at all.

My mom said that just before she moved, Perrie and Debbie had a big fight and never heard from each other again.

Sometimes I see articles about Alex and there are some pictures of Perrie.

She's always beautiful, but she looks slimmer to me.

I probably think too much, I look for things that are not there, I see things that do not exist.

I feel bad to hope that things between her and Alex don't go well, because at the end of the day I want her to be happy, but I would like her to come back one day and ask me for forgiveness. I know she has already done so. I know I haven't forgiven her. I know maybe I wouldn't forgive her even now.

But after a year trying to forget about her, I realized that no matter what I do, where I go or who I meet, no one is like her, no one will ever be like her.

And I'm still in love with her

I'm in love with Perrie Edwards

But she is happy.

And she will not come back

Jesy pov

It's already been four hours since we have been here, in the writing room trying to write another damn song. Like every other day we end up holed up in our thoughts and none of us writes anything.

"Enough, let's go to Nando's" I say getting up from the chair that now has the shape of my ass.

Jade and Leigh look at me as if I have three heads.

"Jesy we have to write something" Leigh replies.

"We haven't written anything until now, why should it be different in the next hour?"

Jade and Leigh get up and follow me out of the label. We head towards Nando's but we see a sign that warns the public that today it will be closed for extraordinary maintenance. 

Fuck

We have to find another place.

Perrie pov

We are in London.

London.

Eight months that I don't go back to London.

Gosh

My heart beats so fast that I think it can come out at any moment. Don't think we're here for me, though, Alex has to do interviews and he thought he'd take me with him so that the fans can see us together, I'm just the trophy wife, only luckily I'm not his wife yet.

Enough Perrie, Alex loves you, you'd be lucky if he asked you to be his wife

Alex has already done two interviews and now we are going to lunch.

Eclipse.

The restaurant is very nice, elegant but not luxurious, the blue walls, the black and white floor tiles and the wooden tables make it warm and welcoming. Many plants can be found throughout the restaurant.

We go in and sit down, ask for a table at the bottom but they are all full, so we sit in one of those near the window, hoping that the fans will not see us.

Alex makes a sign with his hand to call the waiter to indicate that we are ready to order. To tell you the truth, I haven't even read the menu, because Alex doesn't want me to talk to anyone so he chooses what I eat and orders for me.

I turn to the waiter and see a flash of caramel hair.

Calm down, Perrie

There are a lot of people in London. A lot of people with hair like hers.

Calm down, that's not her

I go back to look at the wood of my table and try not to think about it.

London. Too many memories

Leigh-Anne pov

When we saw that Nando's was closed we looked at restaurants near the studios that had good reviews, and here we are.

Eclipse.

We are already eating, in silence.

Since Perrie left things have changed, Jesy and Jade and I talk much less. We didn't argue, but our relationship cooled.

I know what Perrie did was wrong, but when she left I realized that as her friend I should have been close to her even though I didn't share her actions. 

I miss her

I tried to call her several times but she never answered. Non-existent number. Maybe she just changed her number and didn't tell me, or she blocked me. Anyway, it's been a year since I last saw her and I miss her.

We never talk to Jade about her, but we know she misses her too even if she doesn't want to admit it.

Jesy often comes to my place, we stay on the couch looking at old pictures and she cries on my shoulder asking me why she doesn't answer. Perrie was wrong, yes, but we were her friends and we have turned our backs on her. 

We miss her. So fucking much

We have finished eating and go to the checkout to pay when I see a flash of blond hair.

I know it can't be her, she moved to Liverpool and from what I know, thanks to gossip news, she never returned to London.

I look better but I can only see the back of the mysterious woman, I see that she is with a man but the blonde covers him. I pinch Jesy who looks at me badly and point out the suspicious couple.

Jesy looks at me as if I had three heads.

"It's not her, stop it" she whispers.

Jade looks at us suspiciously when we hear someone shouting.

"Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain? Oh my God, can we take a selfie?"

All three of us freeze and look at each other. We see the guy get up and take the picture with the fan. We look at him and it's him, Alex. Therefore... The blonde is her.

It has to be her

"You don't have to come, Jade, but I want to say hello" I say decisively, and Jesy nods to say she's coming with me.

We walk to the table and see Jade following us.

"Hello Alex! Hello Perrie! What a surprise to see you here" I say enthusiastically. Perrie looks at me obviously shocked, not exactly the reaction I expected but after a year of silence I suppose it is understandable.

Perrie doesn't say a word and I see Alex's hand clasp on her wrist.

"All right, Perrie, can you say hello to them" Alex whispers and for a moment I wonder if that was real.

Did he give her permission?

"Hi girls, it's nice to see you... it's really nice to see you" she says with a shy smile and shiny eyes as if she was about to cry.

Weird

"So how long do you stay in London? Maybe we can organize a sleepover like in the old days to update ourselves" Jesy proposes. She, too, seems stunned by Perrie's behaviour.

I see Perrie staring at Jade, a mixture of emotions in her eyes. Regret, anger, sadness.

Despair

"It would be really nice, girls, but now we have to go" Alex says and drags Perrie out of the restaurant.

What the hell just happened?

"Alex forgot his phone" Jade finally speaks.

"Let's take it, maybe they're out here" I say hesitantly. I still don't understand what happened a little while ago. We pay and leave the restaurant, obviously no trace of Alex or Perrie.

Jade pov

We decide to go back to my place and Perrie's, no, my place that is now basically my home, Jesy's and Leigh's given the time we spend in here to comfort each other.

Guest room 1 is Leigh's room and guest 2 is Jesy's.

This is actually seems like to be back to the times shortly after X Factor, when we all lived together.

I'm sitting on the couch trying to figure out what happened at the restaurant, Perrie was so different. The low look and shyness. It's not the animated, bubbly Perrie I knew. She looked terrified. I think I went completely crazy when I heard Alex give her permission to say hello. I'm sure my brain plays tricks on me. This cannot be true.

"We call Perrie with Alex's phone and give it back to them" Jesy interrupts my thoughts and I silently thank her for it.

"And how should we do it? We don't know the code"

"0528" Jesy replies and we look at her with wide eyes.

"Don't look at me like that, I saw it in the studio more than a year ago but it stuck in my mind because it's my cousin's birthday, if he didn't change it, that's right"

Leigh tries the code and to my amazement unlocks the phone.

She starts looking between contacts but we don't find Perrie's name, we also try with Pez (I hope not because only me, Jesy and Leigh can call her that) but nothing. Leigh tries Baby but still nothing. Sunshine, Sweetie... Nothing.

Weird

"Let's try to look in the recent WhatsApp, maybe he uses a different name"

Leigh opens WhatsApp and immediately her expression changes.

"What's the matter?" I ask because I can't see what she's looking at.

"Nothing, just a group with a strange name"

Leigh scrolls through chat names but they are friends of Alex's or colleagues or family members.

Weird

Leigh clicks on the first chat, her eyes open wide as she drops the phone.

"We have to find her"

Jesy pov

Leigh clicks the first chat, her eyes open wide as she drops the phone.

"We have to find her" her voice is frightened.

I pick up the phone and look at the screen, I have a lump in my throat and my legs are shaking, I feel Jade's eyes on me, Leigh is looking at a spot in the wall and tears are running down her cheeks.

I sit in the chair in front of Jade.

The group is called "My Slut"

In the chat there are more than thirty people and many photos of Perrie. She is naked and bound, many bruises are visible on her ivory skin, her gaze is full of fear and in many photos tears wet her face.

I read some of the messages.

**Her tight pussy drives me crazy*

**Look at that mouth, I can't wait for her to suck my cock*

**Tonight was incredible, when can we do it again?*

And many others of this type.

A message from Alex hits me.

Alex: When you want the slut is waiting for you, as always 250 to enter.

What the fuck does that mean?

Why are they talking about her like that? What is this group? 250 what? Is he selling her?

No, no, no. It's not possible

Nope

I'm so busy trying to figure out what's going on that I didn't realize that Jade is no longer sitting on the couch but she is standing behind me, a hand covering her mouth while tears and tears run down her face.

"What did they do to her?" she cries and falls to her knees on the floor.

"We have to find her" Leigh repeats, whispering.

I get up and go to the kitchen to prepare tea for Leigh and Jade, I bring the phone and, to hurt myself more and more, I decide to look in the gallery. There are so many photos of Perrie. In some you see several men and from the positions I understand what they are doing.

I keep scrolling and realize that Perrie is always full of bruises. I look at the dates, this thing has been going on for months.

I scroll more and more and find the famous video of Perrie and Alex but I realize that next to it there is one with the same preview but it's longer, more than half an hour of video.

I know I shouldn't but now I need to understand. I have suspicions and I hope I am wrong.

I'm about to press on the video when the kettle warns me that the water for tea is ready, I take two cups, put the tea and go back to the living room, I give the cups to Jade and Leigh and prepare for what comes next.

"Jade, I found the video of Perrie and Alex" I say slowly, waiting for her reaction. I see Leigh looking at with the what-are-you-doing face.

"We've seen that video before, I don't want to see it again" Jade replies angrily.

"No, Jade. There is another video next to it, the same preview but it is much longer. Perrie kept saying he had to explain, maybe here is the answer"

"I don't understand your point, Jesy. Perrie cheated on me with Alex and that video was proof of that. Now let's help her get out of this situation and that's it"

"Jade... Considering what's going on, don't you think maybe there's something more?" Leigh speaks cautiously.

"Good! Let's have a look! I don't know what more there could be, though"

Leigh and Jade approach and slowly I start the video, my hands shaking like leaves from the bad feeling.

Jade pov

I still don't understand why we have to see it again, as if I hadn't seen it hundreds of times before, Jesy says the video is longer, just more time of Perrie and Alex having sex and moaning.

I'm against it being watched again, but here we are.

Jesy presses play and starts the video.

The video begins differently. Perrie is lying on the floor, her eyes closed. Some blood drips from her nose.

What the hell?

I see Alex's hand approaching her face, wiping the blood from her face and slapping her.

"Come on, sweetie, wake up"

Wait what? Was she unconscious??

Shortly after, Perrie opens her eyes, looking confused.

"Alex, what the fuck? Get off my back!"

Perrie realizes she's naked and begins to struggle, tears form in her eyes.

"Quiet, sweetie, I'll help you forget Jade"

"I don't want to forget Jade, asshole! I love her! Let me fucking go!"

"Shut the fuck up, you stupid whore!" Alex screams and slaps her so hard that her face is spinning.

I close my eyes. It can't be.

It can't be

I see Perrie crying louder and I start crying too as the video continues.

"Alex, please, I won't tell anyone, let me go, please"

Alex slaps her again and at this point I start sobbing.

"Alex, please" Perrie begs him not to go any further but I see that she is starting to lose strength.

With his free hand he holds both her hands above her head while he continues to film my little baby begging him to stop.

"Don't make things worse, Perrie"

"No, no!" Perrie screams as he moves his free hand from her arms and puts it over her mouth and enters in her.

I see the expression of pain on her face and I want to kill myself for not protecting her, for not listening to her when she said she wanted to explain, for telling her that I hated her and that she had to leave.

"Now let's play a game, Perrie" Alex starts talking.

"Now I want you to say you like it"

"N-no" Perrie stammers through tears.

"It wasn't a question, you stupid whore!" Alex puts his hand around her throat and starts to squeeze, Perrie gasps and tries to pull his hands away.

"Be good, Perrie and it will end soon. Tell me you like it"

"I-I like it"

"Make me believe it, Perrie" Alex says as he wipes away tears.

"I like it!"

"Good girl. Now tell me oh, yes, Alex, more!"

She repeats.

Gosh. Now I understand. These are the sentences of the video. Alex forced her to say that and then edited the video masterfully.

I can't look any further so I turn around and keep crying and sobbing louder and louder.

Leigh-Anne hugs me from behind and I can tell she's crying too.

"I bet Jade can't fuck you like that, right, sweetie?" Alex says and I hear him laugh.

I hear Perrie in the background crying, screaming and begging Alex to stop until Jesy stops the video.

What did he do to her?

We must save her

Leigh-Anne pov

We are sitting in Jade's living room, none of us have said a word since Jesy interrupted the video, Jade doesn't stop crying and neither do I while Jesy is shocked and can't seem to move.

When we received the video things looked completely different. Perrie seemed to be amused and consenting. We all thought Pez cheated on Jade with Alex and then got together, but...

Questions swirl in my mind.

What do we do? What did he do to her? Why didn't Perrie tell Jade?

Well, she tried, but we never listened to her.

How did he convince her to leave Little Mix and leave London?

What do you think he did to her? Being nice and gentle? Wake up, Leigh-Anne!

Above all, what has he been doing to her since they've been in Liverpool?

The truth is that I have the answers to most of these questions but I am too afraid that my hypotheses will be confirmed.

"I'll email the video to the three of us" Jesy breaks the uneasy silence, "It will serve as proof when we denounce the son of a bitch" she continues.

I nod but now we need to find Perrie and take her out of that hell, "How do we find them?" I ask without emotion.

"Well, let's hope that for once the paps and gossip news will be useful to us" Jesy replies much more decisively, she opens the PC and starts typing. I look at Jade who is still in her world and I dare not imagine what she is thinking. I know she's blaming herself. I'm doing it too and I know Jesy does it too. But for Jade it's obviously different. She just saw her ex-girlfriend being ra...

No, I can't say that.

If I say that, it will be real.

This is just a bad dream

A horrible nightmare

"According to this website, Perrie and the son of a bitch checked into this hotel this morning" Jesy shows me a picture of Perrie and the asshole in front of a hotel that fortunately I know well. It's where I make my relatives stay when they come to visit me.

"Well, let's go get her" Jade finally speaks.

"We can't go like this, Jade. It's dangerous" Jesy replies cautiously.

"Let's call Zayn" Jade replies. I know she's angry but I hear the despair in her voice.

"Wait, Jade. Zayn was friends with A- the son of a bitch. We don't know if he knows or even is involved" I say.

"Zayn is gay, there has never been anything between them, only friendship and... And I have talked to him many times in the last few months. I wanted to know how Perrie was doing and he told me he hasn't heard from her since she left Little Mix. And he was worried. He missed her too. I know he has nothing to do with this shit. I just know"

"If you're sure, then it's fine"

As I finished speaking, Jade was already calling Zayn.

"Hi Zayn, we need your help"

Jesy pov

We are waiting for Zayn who will be here in a few minutes. Luckily he doesn't live far from Jade and was at home today, we didn't tell him what it is, just that it has to do with Perrie.

The bell rings and I go to open, "Hi Jesy" Zayn looks different, more mature but still as sweet as I remembered him.

"Hi Zayn"

"So what's up with Perrie? Did she finally answer one of your calls?"

"I think you'd better sit down, there's something you should see" Zayn frowns but follows me into the living room and sits next to Jade.

"Okay girls, what's up? All three of you are obviously shocked and I'm starting to worry"

Jade pulls out Alex's phone and starts showing him the photos and chat.

Zayn whitens and brings his hand to his mouth.

"There's also a video, of Alex and Perrie, but things are different..." Jade stammers.

"What do you mean?"

No one answers.

"What do you mean?!" Zayn screams.

"Al- Alex has... He h-has. Oh my god" Jade collapses in tears.

"Alex raped her and forced her to say she liked it, then edited the video so that it looked like Perrie was consenting" I explain without any emotion.

I can't believe things turned out this way

Why have we never listened to her?

She was fighting the worst demon alone and we abandoned her.

Zayn doesn't say a word. He's as shocked as we are. After a while he takes a deep breath and talks "How did you get these pictures and whose phone is it?"

"We don't have time Zayn, Alex and Perrie are in London for Alex's job and we met them in a restaurant. Alex left the phone there and we wanted to give it back to him. We don't know how long they'll stay in London but we know what hotel they're in."

"Let's go get her" 

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A/N 

Hello everyone! What are your thoughts now?

Also, I changed the cover of this book, what do you guys think? Did you like it better before?

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Thank you for reading and take care 🌈🍪

- C