Chapter 3 - I'm Alex

Chapter 3 - I'm Alex

Perrie pov

I walk briskly towards Zayn's house, I need to vent all the anger I feel and the 20 minutes of walking that separate our house from his house become 10.

Without realizing it, I am in front of the entrance of my best friend's house with my breath and legs shaking. I intercom and wait for someone to answer, shortly after I see Zayn's face and a big smile that immediately turns into a frown when he sees my expression.

"Perrie, what's going on? Are you okay?" Zayn asks me with concern, are those simple words enough for all my anger to go away to be replaced by sadness and I burst into tears as Zayn wraps me in a tight embrace.

"Pez, please talk to me. I'm getting worried."

"I-Jade and I had a fight, again. She told me that I don't care about our career and that I keep bothering her because I want to talk about our damn relationship. She called it damn!" I answer between sobs as Zayn walks me to his living room and makes me sit on the couch.

"Oh, Pez, I'm sure she didn't mean it, she's just very stressed about work, just like you are, and she reacts that way, but I'm sure she'll pass her on. Stay here, I'll make you a cup of tea," Zayn tells me softly as he wipes away my tears. He gets up and goes to his kitchen.

I hear footsteps coming from upstairs and get ready to say goodbye to Harry. I haven't seen him for a long time and the thought that he's here immediately puts me in a good mood. Although I'm more attached to Zayn, I get along very well with Harry too, and I know I can always talk to him about how I feel or how I'm doing because they, like us, are in the same situation. They would like to come out to the world and are waiting for the right moment.

My smile falters when I don't see Harry but another man. He is tall, muscular, curly hair and green eyes. If I were straight I would tell you that he is a handsome guy and certainly charming, but no one is comparable to my Jade. As I think about who this vaguely familiar face man is and what he's doing here, he walks up and greets me.

"Perrie Edwards? It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Alex" the man I now know is called Alex offers me the hand that I gladly accept and sports a charming smile. He seems nice and I feel comfortable with him around.

"Hi, Alex. It's a pleasure for me too. You have a familiar face, have we already met?"

Alex laughs loudly and I frowns in confusion "I guess you're not a big football fan"

I smile and shake my head but I still don't understand.

"I'm a footballer, I play for Manchester at the moment," Alex says shyly as I form an o with my mouth. At that moment Zayn arrives with three cups of tea and places them on the table.

"Hey, Pez, I see you've met Alex! Alex, I made you some tea, man"

"So, how do you two know each other?" I ask curiously. I know Zayn is completely in love with Harry and vice versa; Therefore, I exclude all evil thoughts from my mind.

"Alex and I were classmates in high school, we were also in the same football team but of course I was a clumsy and he was the champion, in fact look at him now!" Zayn and Alex have a loud laugh reminiscent of the old days. I also laugh imagining a young Zayn trying to score goals and failing miserably.

"Come on, Zayn, don't get down like that" Alex smiles and then turns to me "It wasn't as bad as he says, and then he had all the girls at his feet as soon as he started singing"

"Yeah, too bad I didn't know Harry at the time," Zayn beams thinking about her boyfriend.

"So, you play in Manchester! Wow! Why are you here in London?" I ask with genuine interest.

"The season has just ended and now I will have some free time, my family lives here and I took the opportunity to come back and be with them for a while. It was lucky that Zayn is here too so we could finally see each other again after such a long time" Alex says with a huge, infectious smile.

We spend some more time laughing and joking and Alex and Zayn tell me funny anecdotes about their high school adventures.

The hours go by and I don't realize that it's already 11 o'clock in the evening, my smile turns into a scowl when I think I have to go home and see Jade.

"All right, Perrie?" Alex asks me with sincere curiosity

"Yes, except that, you know, I had a fight with my girlfriend before, that's why I showed up here without invitation, in fact, I apologize for that. I wasn't going to interrupt your evening, guys."

Alex looks at me cheerfully "Don't apologize, Perrie, it was fun to talk to you, and if you hadn't come I wouldn't have had the chance to tease Zayn all the time!" Alex and I laugh as Zayn pretends to be hurt.

"So a girl broke your heart, huh Perrie? Do you want to talk about it? I know we don't know each other much but I'm a good listener" Alex says shyly.

"You know, it's that lately things have gotten messed up and me and J-my girlfriend are going through so many things at the same time, we're both stressed and every opportunity seems good for fighting" I say as I think about the last few weeks.

"I don't know the girl, but I'm sure that if it's true love you'll find your way to each other. If not, better to know now and move on, right?" Alex speaks smiling, but a strange feeling makes its way inside me, as if he is hiding something. It's probably nothing anyway, I push the thought into the back of my mind and try not to think about it.

Me, Alex and Zayn talk about ours respective relationships and Alex gives me good advices on how to deal with Jade once home, I feel more positive and I know that if it is destiny that we are together, we will always find a way to find each other.

Alex's sentence before that, however, made me doubt. What if Jade and I weren't meant to be?

It had never occurred to me before, I always thought that I would spend my whole life with her until the end of our days. One day we would get married and then we would have a lot of beautiful kids, grow old together and watch our children and grandchildren grow up.

But what if it wasn't?

When the talk inevitably goes about sexual experiences, Zayn pulls out a bottle of scotch declaring that "We can't continue the conversation if we stay sober" Alex and I burst out laughing as we watch Zayn pour the drink into the cups. It doesn't take long for it to degenerate and we find ourselves drunk playing "Neve have I ever".

It's three in the morning when I start yawning and we decide it's time to go to sleep. I thank Zayn and Alex for listening to me and for the inexplicably fun evening and head to the second guest room, since Alex is in the first.

I fall asleep thinking about Jade and what I'm going to say to her tomorrow and I feel anxiety take hold of me, I think back to the bullshit that me, Zayn and Alex shared tonight and finally relax and smile and fall asleep peacefully.

I wake up and find myself in Zayn's guest room with my duvet up to my hair.

My head pulsates and it takes me a moment to remember what happened last night, then the images of the evening strike me.

Me, Zayn and Alex got drunk while talking about sex and laughing at us.

Zayn kneels in front of me and offers me a glass of water with a couple of hangover pills.

"You'd better take it" he tells me, whispering and with a sweet look on his face. I thank him and grab the pills.

"When you feel like it, come to the kitchen, I made tea"

Shortly after I get up, go to the bathroom and do my morning routine, go out and head to the kitchen, I see Alex sitting at the counter with his hands on his forehead. I touch his arm and he smiles at me.

"Do you also have a disco in your brain?" I tell him with a little laugh. He nods and goes back to look at the kitchen counter while grabbing a cup of tea and offering it to me, I grab it and thank him.

"As soon as you're ready, I'll drive you home, Pez" Zayn says as he watches me drink the tea.

"Don't worry, it's close, I can do it"

"You struggle to stand up and I don't want some pap to take unflattering pictures of you, I don't want you to end up in the mess for a good night" Zayn says ironically referring to the label that will make my ass if someone sees me in this state.

I smile warmly at him and wave to him to say that I accept his offer.

Zayn's phone rings and he apologizes and goes to his room, Alex and I remain in religious silence as we deal with each other's headaches.

Soon after, Zayn returns from his bedroom running with a worried look.

"Z, what happened?" I ask him mirroring the same expression

"Harry had an accident, I have to go to the hospital immediately" he speaks in a hurry and at times I struggle to follow the speech

"What?" I scream with my hands covering my mouth

"Oh my God, Zayn? How is he?" Alex asks equally worriedly.

"He's fine. It just looks like a broken arm, but I need to see him as soon as possible."

Zayn looks around collecting his wallet and keys.

"Sorry, Pez, I can't take you home now, you can wait for me here or I'll call you a taxi"

"What? Don't worry, I'll take care of it, go to Harry and call me as soon as you have news" I tell him while I help him find his shoes and Alex passes him his jacket.

"Zayn, man, don't worry, I can take Perrie home if that's okay with her," Alex says softly and gives me a shy smile.

"Really, Alex, I thank you but I don't want to disturb you. You were very kind but I don't want to abuse your availability" I give him a sincere smile.

"Don't worry, I don't mind at all" Alex smiles

"Thank you Alex, thank you Pez! I'll call you as soon as I have updates. And don't worry, honey, things with J-your girlfriend will settle down" Zayn tells me as he hugs me and gives me a kiss on the forehead.

Shortly after, he leaves the house and Alex and I are left alone in the living room still worried about Harry.

Let's hope it's just a broken arm...

"Hey, Perrie, why don't you go take a shower while I make breakfast?" Alex breaks the silence and gives me a tired smile.

"Thank you, Alex, I just can't refuse food," I say with a smile and he laughs slightly. I head to the bathroom and before leaving his sight I turn to him, I already see him pulling out several ingredients from the kitchen pantry.

"Alex, thank you again for last night and this morning, you were really kind and I'm very glad I met you"

Alex smiles warmly at me and nods his head.

I go to the bathroom and take a shower, I still have a bit of a headache because of the hangover, but the hot water helps to calm me down and relax and shortly after I feel a little better. I go out, get dressed quickly and go back to the kitchen.

On the table are pancakes, fresh fruit, scrambled eggs and bacon. I look at everything with my mouth watering and a huge smile.

"I didn't know your tastes and decided to do a bit of everything" Alex says timidly.

"Wow, Alex, this is wonderful" I say as I fill a plate with pancakes, fruit, and bacon, sink my fork and grab a piece of pancakes. I close my eyes and moan at the taste as I savor the food. I realize what I have just done and open my eyes wide as a blush invades my cheeks.

"Sorry, I couldn't control myself. This is really yummy, much better than mine!" I say with apologies for my verses. Alex laughs loudly and continues to eat.

I'm getting on really well with him. Last night he listened to me and supported me despite ruining his evening with Zayn and had never seen me before, today he offers to drive me home and cook for me. I really think we can be good friends, too bad that during the football season he lives in Manchester and the opportunities to see each other will be just a few.

"You know, Perrie, I thought about the situation with your girlfriend tonight and I have to say it, she's a really stupid woman," Alex says slowly, sinking his fork into pancakes.

Wait, what? I just finished saying I liked him

"Don't talk about her like that, you don't even know her" I reply irritated.

"Woo, I didn't mean to offend you" Alex raises his hands in surrender "I'm just saying that Jade is stupid to treat a woman like you like that"

Wait, how does he know about Jade?

Maybe I said it while I was drunk?

"A woman like me? Alex, you'd better stop here before this conversation gets uncomfortable."

"Come on, Perrie, you know what I mean... I mean if I were her, would never take you for granted, sweetie."

Sweetie? Only Jade can call me sweetie

Alex smiles and puts a lock of hair behind my ear. Immediately I move away from his hand and put the fork on the plate sighing loudly.

"Alex, it was really nice to meet you, but now I have to go. Thank you for the breakfast but it will be better if I go now"

"Wait, wait, let me drive you home, sweetie" Alex grabs my arm and shivers run down my spine.

"Don't call me sweetie and please let me go" I say firmly as I try to walk away without success.

Alex takes a long sigh and looks me in the eye, his indecipherable expression makes me uncomfortable and I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Alex, please let me go now" I repeat but my voice is no longer so sure.

Alex jumps up and pushes me, I back away scared as he approaches until I hear the wall behind me.

"What do you want?" I stammer.

Alex continues to look at me without saying anything as a grin appears on his lips.

I look around for something to help me getting out of this situation but I don't find anything.

I turn to Alex and see that his face is inches away from mine.

TW - Graphic description of violence and rape. Please, read at your own risk, if you don't feel comfortable just skip the part.

Alex puts his hands on my hips and starts rubbing on me as he kisses my neck, I feel an erection under his trousers, and I just want him to stop touching me.

"You're so beautiful, Perrie. I know you want it too" I hear the excitement in his voice and I see the lust in his gaze.

"Alex, please stop" my voice is soaked with panic and I try to remove his hands from my hips.

We start fighting while Alex tries to hold me still and I try to free myself.

Without see it coming I am with my face on the ground, I touch my cheek still aching from the slap he has just given me and I feel the blood flowing from my nose.

Alex kneels down and grabs my hair, looks me in the eye and smiles.

"Now let's have some fun, sweetie"

"Alex, please no" I stutter as tears ran down my cheeks.

Alex throws me another hard slap and everything turns black.

I wake up with a big headache and try to figure out where I am and why my face is sore. I try to open my eyes again and everything around me is blurry, I still blink my eyes until I recover and see Alex above me.

What the fuck?

"Alex, what the fuck? Get off my back!"

I open my eyes wide and remember what happened just before, I have a lump in my throat and Alex smiles at me, then I realize I am naked and I see that Alex has his cell phone in his hand, I pray he is not doing what I think. I begin to struggle with him, tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Quiet, sweetie, I'll help you forget Jade," Alex says ominously.

God, please somebody help me

"I don't want to forget Jade, asshole! I love her! Let me fucking go!" I scream.

Alex says something I don't ear because the panic is too much and I want to run away, he slaps me and turns my face so much that my cheek hits the floor.

"Alex, please, I won't tell anyone, let me go, please" I cry louder and pray whatever god exists that he stops right now.

Another slap in the face

"Alex please" I try again but the pain in my head is strong and I start to feel myself fade away.

Alex moves his free hand and holds both my hands above my head. I don't like it, it doesn't have to touch me like that, only Jade can touch me like that.

Please someone help me, PLEASE!

I keep crying and begging him to stop but I get nothing. He tells me something but I don't listen to him, I feel him move on me and align with my entrance. I cry louder and beg him to stop hoping someone will hear me.

"No, no!" I try to scream but Alex moves his free hand over my mouth and prevents me from making any sound.

I feel a tremendous amount of pain and I understand that it has entered me. The world stops and I feel numb, I see it go up and down and new tears wet my cheeks. I can't talk, I can't scream. All I can do is watch his satisfied face as he continues to fuck me.

"Now let's play a game, Perrie" I hear Alex's voice but it's far away and I don't understand what he's saying.

"Now I want you to say you like it"

"N-no"

"It wasn't a question, you stupid whore!" Alex grabs my throat and squeezes, I feel gasping for air, I put my hands on his and try to push him away but his grip is too strong.

"Be good, Perrie and it will end soon. Tell me you like it" Alex squeezes even tighter and I see black spots in front of me.

"I-I like it" I stammered and kept crying. I can't breathe

"Make me believe it, Perrie" Alex says as he caresses my face, wiping away tears.

"I like it!" I shout trying to be credible. I feel his hand loosen its grip from my throat but he doesn't move it.

I'm scared

Somebody help me

"Good girl. Now tell me oh, yes, Alex, more!"

"Oh, yes, Alex, more" I repeat, feigning enthusiasm as not to provoke him.

Alex keeps fucking me and making me say I like him, if I don't do what he says he beats me and every time the blows are stronger. In his free hand he keeps holding the phone and I'm afraid he's filming what's going on.

"I bet Jade can't fuck you like that, right, sweetie?"

I keep begging him to stop for what seems like hours but he doesn't seem to want to. Eventually, I feel it slowing down.

"Please, please, not inside" I beg him to come out but he laughs at me and keeps pushing.

It emits loud grunts and eventually stops, stays like this for long minutes and then goes out. I feel his cum dripping from my pussy and cry loudly.

End of TW

Alex gets up without saying anything and goes to the bathroom.

I lie on the floor trembling and I can't stop sobbing, I turn on my side and reach for my panties and jeans with my hand.

With great effort I put on my underwear and try to do the same with jeans when I hear footsteps approaching.

I leave my jeans mid-thigh and bring my arms to my breasts to cover myself while Alex kneels next to me.

"Look at me"

I close my eyes and sob, but then I feel his hand grab my jaw.

"I said look at me!" Alex screams, clenches my jaw and I gasp. I open my eyes and new tears come out of me.

"You're not going to tell anyone what happened, are you? If you do, I will send these photos to every single newspaper and news program in this country, the internet will be invaded and your family will have to hide in shame" he tells me, showing me nude photos of me taking while I was fainting.

"They won't believe it" I say in a whisper.

"Do you think anyone will care how things went? Jade will leave you as soon as she sees how slutty you are, your family will disown you, your friends will leave, and the label will abandon you. Your life will be ruined, Perrie."

I think about what he said and a lump forms in my throat, I feel my throat closing and I can't breathe.

"So, as I said, you're not going to tell anyone what happened, right?"

I sob and nod.

"Well, now, where's your phone?"

"In the bag" I stammer as my voice breaks.

Alex takes my bag and pulls out the phone, orders me to unlock it and then I hear his ringing.

"Now I have your number and you have mine, every time I write to you or call you, no matter where you are or what you are doing, you will answer me, if you don't, you know the consequences, right?"

I nod again

"Now get dressed and leave"

He gets up and I hear him walk away but then he goes back and kneels again in front of me.

"Oh, sweetie, I can't wait to do it again" she says while smiling as he strokes my hair.

He gives me a little slap on the cheek and leaves smiling, this time for real. I stand still for a few more minutes, crying and sobbing.

I force myself and get up, pull up my jeans and find the rest of my clothes, get dressed and run out of Zayn's house and building.

I find the first alley and hide, lean against the wall and slide on the ground pulling my knees to my chest. I sit there for hours crying until I realize what really happened.

I get up, fix my hair in front of my face and put on my sunglasses hoping not to attract too much attention. When I feel ready, I start walking towards my home.

Zayn's House is only a 20 minute walk away and is normally a pleasant walk, but the pain between my legs is excruciating and at every step my body is invaded by pangs of pain.

I manage to reach my house and with trembling hands I open the door, call the lift and lean against the wall waiting for it to arrive. I arrive at my floor and slowly exit the elevator, I type the code but my hands are shaking and I need three attempts to open the damn door.

As soon as I enter I see Jade on the couch biting her nails, I close the door behind me and I see her turn around.

"Oh my God, Perrie! Are you all right? I tried to call you but you didn't answer!" Her voice shows all her concern but at this moment I cannot speak.

She approaches and automatically I retreats, Jade looks at me and I know she is hurt "Perrie, what's up?"

"Nothing, I'm fine, everything is fine!" I say quickly and move fast to go to the room, I forget the pain and I gasp when another pang hits me.

Jade approaches and touches my arm, immediately I push it away and tears pinch my eyes.

"I said I'm fine!" I say angrily and walk to the bedroom doing everything to ignore the pain. Jade follows me but I do a sprint and manage to enter the room and then the bathroom, I close the door behind me, turn the key and open the shower water.

I undress and look in the mirror, some bruises already colour my skin and immediately I remember the image of Alex above me.

Immediately I feel sick and empty my stomach into the toilet. I stay on my knees for a few minutes and when I feel ready I brush my teeth and throw myself in the shower. I sit on the shower floor with my arms wrapping around my knees sobbing and waiting for the water to take away the feeling of dirt and disgust I feel.

It didn't happen

It didn't happen

It can't have happened

I... I just got raped

__________

Thank you for reading and take care 🌈🍪

- C