Chapter 2: Online Dating

Luigi: Hey, Mario.

Mario: Hey, Luigi. What's up, bro?

Luigi: Nothing. I thought I'd pop in, on my way home from my new shop.

Mario: Fair enough...

Loaf: Meow. 😺

Luigi: Hi-ya, Loaf.

Mario: So... why do you think Dad is looking for someone special, this Valentine's Day?

Luigi: Hmm... I think it's because that he's tired of being single, and he wants to have a partner.

Mario: Christ... Dad with a new partner...

Luigi: What's wrong with that?

Mario: Nothing! I'm just saying that maybe it's a little bit weird that we're seeing Dad with another woman.

Luigi: Well... even Mum is looking for another man.

Mario: True...

Later...

*DOOR BANGING*

Mario: Get that, will you?

Luigi opened the door.

Pio: BOYS!!! I NEED YOUR HELP!!!

Luigi: What's wrong?!

Pio: I think my laptop is broken!!!

Mario: Why?

Pio: I can't access the Internet, anymore!!!

Mario: Maybe, it's because... you don't have Wi-Fi?

Pio: Can anyone of you lazy buggers help me?!

Luigi: Right... let's have a look.

Luigi looked at Pio's laptop.

Luigi: JESUS CHRIST!!!

Mario: What?

Mario looked as well.

Mario: WHAT THE...

Mario: WHAT'S ALL THIS CRAP?!?!?!

Luigi: OMG!!! DAD, YOUR LAPTOP HAS SO MANY VIRUSES!!!

Mario: Christ!!! I haven't seen that 18+ pop up, since the early 2010's!!!

...

Pio: What's happening?!

Luigi: Dad, your laptop is infected with lots of viruses!!! If this was a Human-being, I would shoot it in the face!!!

Pio: But, it's a Computer... not a Human!

Mario: This laptop is finished! You've literally ruined your own laptop!!!

Luigi: What have you been downloading?!

Mario and Luigi went on to the files.

Luigi: Ah! There's the problem! There's a weird looking file that says; Private and Confidential.

Mario: What's inside it?

Pio: Wait... BOYS, DON'T CLI--

They clicked on it.

Mario/Luigi: 😱😱😱😱😱

Pio: O_O

Mario: WHAT... THE... BLOODY... CHRIST?!?!?!

Luigi: OMG, DAD!!! YOU ARE SUCH A CREEP!!!

Pio: *sobbing* OMG!!! I have a huge problem!!! 😭

Luigi: Um... Dad? How old is that nude Girl?

...

Pio: Um... I'll be right back...

After that...

Pio threw his laptop into the sea.

Pio: *sigh* I made a huge mistake...

LATER, THAT EVENING...

Mario: Dad is starting to lose his marbles...

Meggy: I see...

Luigi: I think he was just trying to start Online dating... until his own laptop was a bit dodgy...

Meggy: I'm sure he'll find someone else, at some point.

Luigi: What's he doing now?

Mario: He's looking after the Cat, while we're having a good night out.

Luigi: Ah... I see.

Gino/Emily: Gah...

Meggy: Aww... what's the matter? 😍

...

Luigi: Um... Mario?

Mario: Yeah?

Luigi: Don't you have your own laptop at home?

Mario: ...

Meggy: You OK?

Mario: OH, CRAP!!!

Mario rushed out of the pub.

Meggy: What was that?

Luigi: I feel like Dad's gonna corrupt Mario's laptop...

Meanwhile...

Pio: Right, Loaf... did you enjoy your Cat dinner?

Loaf: Meow. 😺

Pio: Hmm... I'll take that as a Yes.

Pio was tempting to go on Mario's laptop.

Pio: *sigh* I need to be careful with my son's laptop...

Pio opened Mario's laptop.

Pio: Power on.

He switched it on.

Pio: Press 'Any Key' to continue.

He looked at the keyboard.

Pio: Hmm... any key...

...

Pio: There's no bloody 'Any Key' on this keyboard!!!

He then realised.

Pio: Oh! I'm such an idiot... I need to press any key on the keyboard.

He pressed a key.

Pio: Ah! There we are.

He then went to the Internet browser.

Pio: Hmm... what do I need to search for?

He typed up something.

Pio: Man... needs... Woman...

He pressed the Search button.

Pio: Okay? It's loading... it's taking a while, though...

https://youtu.be/WFuVEEJbEIo

Pio: O_O

Pio quickly exited out of the tab.

Pio: You dirty bastards!!!

He tried again.

Pio: Man... looking for... Love...

He pressed the Search button.

Pio: Oh... My... Goodness!!! JACKPOT!!!

He was astonished.

Pio: Wow! They're gorgeous. I would go out with any of them!

Later...

Mario: FREEZE!!!

Pio: Oh! Hey, son.

Mario: Step away from the Laptop!!!

Pio: Mario, it's not what you think!

Mario: What do you think you're doing?!

Pio: Well... I was on your laptop, and I went onto the Google... and I Googled.

Mario: And?!

Pio: And, I think I've found the perfect site for Online dating!

Mario: Wait... what?!

Pio: There's lots of gorgeous woman, Mario! I would go out with any of them!

Mario: Um... wow! That's good, I guess.

Pio: Come over here and I'll show you.

Mario: BTW, it's just called; Google... not The Google!

Mario went over to his laptop.

Mario: So... what's this dating site called?

Pio: It's called; Dial A Fanny

...

Mario: O_O

Pio: What's wrong?

Mario: DAD!!! I'M GONNA SLAP YOU, IN A MINUTE!!!

Pio: Why?! There's nothing wrong with Spanish women!

Mario: You pay these women and they come out and have sex with you!!!

Pio: YOU WHAT?!?!?!

Mario: You need Internet lessons!!!

Pio: T- That's disgusting!!!

Mario: Says the man who had lots of nutty viruses...

Pio: Um... I have a question.

Mario: What?!

Pio: How much do they charge?

...

*SMACK*

Pio: Ow...