Chapter 3: Blind Dating

THE NEXT DAY...

Mario: OK, Dad. I don't think Online dating isn't for you...

Pio: At least, I tried!

Mario: So... what I'm now thinking is that I have no choice but to put you on a blind date.

Pio: A blind date? Am I gonna date a blind chick?

Mario: No! A blind date is a type of date between two people that have never met each other, before.

Pio: Jesus! Is that a good idea?!

Mario: Everybody does it, all of the time! I once help Siren Head find a date!

...

Pio: Fine... I guess I can try that...

Mario: That's the spirit!

Pio: So... what are we gonna do?

Mario: Okie-dokie! Tonight, we are gonna go to a Night-club and we're gonna get you a date!

THAT EVENING...

https://youtu.be/-DVh9dacwHs

Pio: *sigh* I don't know about this, son... I don't even know what women are like nowadays...

Mario: You'll be fine!

Pio: When I was a teenager, back in the 1960's... people just went on Picnics and had a little dance with each other...

Mario: Look... that was nearly 60 years ago... And, I know things have changed.

Pio: I know that...

Mario: Right! I've got this piece of paper in my hand, and I've written down a list of all of the good things to say to hot women.

Mario gave the list to Pio.

Pio: Wow, Mario! These are actually pretty good! How did you learn all of these?

Mario: Oh, I didn't... I got them off a website...

...

Pio: Brilliant... 😑

Mario: Oh, look! Here comes a mid-aged women!

Pio: What do I do?

Mario: Say the 1st thing on the list.

Pio: Um... I love getting Chocolate cake with a side of Chocolate Ice Cream covered in Chocolate sauce.

R. Toadette: No way! So do I!

Pio: I'm Pio, by the way.

R. Toadette: I'm a Red Toadette.

*HAND-SHAKE* 🤝

Pio: How do you do?

R. Toadette: Say... why don't you and your friend join me?

Mario: I'm the son of this man.

R. Toadette: Ah... you two are Father and Son.

Mario: Correct.

Pio: Why don't we all get us some drinks?

Mario: Good idea!

Pio: I see a waiter.

Later...

Pio: Hey, boy! Boy!!! Fetch me a Gin & Tonic and 2 Bloody Mary's for these 2 thirsty assistants.

Mario: O_O

Black Toad: EXCUSE ME?!?!?! 😠

R. Toadette: What the hell is your problem, you racist dick?!

Pio: What? Is he not a waiter?

R. Toadette: *scoffs* We're done here!!!

Red Toadette left.

Mario: Oh... My... Freaking... Christ!!!

Pio: What happened?!

Mario: That Toadette was coming onto you and you blew it!!!

Pio: That chocolate Toad is not a waiter?

*SMACK*

Pio: Ow!

Mario: WE ARE NOT IN THE 1960's!!! This is 2023 and things have definitely changed!!!

Pio: I don't understand the world, anymore...

Mario: Let's get out of here...

Pio: Okay... but, first I gotta go to the Toilets...

Mario: Hurry up, then!

After Pio used the Toilets...

Old Toadette: Oh! Hi-ya.

Pio: Aw, damn! Have I been in the wrong Toilets, this whole time?!

Old Toadette: No, this is the Men's! I just found out that I've been using the Men's toilets...

Pio: Oh...

Old Toadette: I'm just getting old, that's all... I just tuned 60, last year...

Pio: I see...

Old Toadette: Would you mind taking me to the exit to this Club?

Pio: Um... sure! I was just about to leave, as well.

Old Toadette: What a coincidence!

Pio led the Old Toadette to the exits.

Old Toadette: Thanks, so much.

Pio: I'm Pio, by the way.

*HAND-SHAKE* 🤝

Pio: What brings you here?

Old Toadette: Well... I was just having a night-out that's all.

Mario: He's looking for a date.

Pio: Shush!

Old Toadette: Really? So am I!

Pio: Wait... you are?!

Old Toadette: Yeah... my husband passed away, a few years ago... and I'm just a widow.

Pio: Sorry for your loss...

Old Toadette: Nice to meet you, BTW.

Pio: Wait!

Old Toadette: Huh?

Pio: I'm... er...

Mario: Um...

Pio: I'm rich and I live in a Castle!!!

...

Mario: You what?!

Old Toadette: Really?!

Pio: Yeah! I'm a rich... bitch...

Mario: Dad!!!

Old Toadette: I wanna hang out with rich old men!

Pio: You wanna have dinner at my Castle, on Valentine's night?

Old Toadette: Deal!

Pio: I'll give you a lift, if you want.

Old Toadette: You are such a gentleman.

They were about to leave.

Mario: DAD!!! I want a word in private!!!

Pio: One moment, love.

Old Toadette: Okay.

...

Pio: What is it?

Mario: Have you gone insane?! You're lying to her!!!

Pio: I'm trying to make her astonished!

Mario: When we reach Valentine's night... she's gonna expect having dinner at a Castle!!!

Pio: I could borrow the Kingdom's Castle!

Mario: How are you gonna do that?

Pio: I'll think of something.

Mario: Okay? But, you've got 48 hours to come up with something!!!

Pio: Anyways, I've got a date!!!

Mario: Um... good for you, I guess...

...

Pio: Come on, love.

Old Toadette: Okie-dokie.

Pio left with Old Toadette.

Mario: I think my Brain just committed S U I C I D E!!!

https://youtu.be/FpJ9zeSH9N4