'drunk words are sober thoughts.'

y/n pov

I was at a 7 eleven near my house buying drinks and snacks for the sleepover to Jays.

I was wearing currently baggy jeans, a loose black nike shirt with a black and white hoodie on. I was wearing comfy shoes and overall a comfy fit.

I already showered previously before I left my house.

I was checking if they said anything else on the group. They didn't say a lot more. I found out the older guys are gonna be drinking. They're allowed to because most of them are 18. The only person who can't drink is me.

Jungwon already turned 18 in February even if he is the same age as me. The rest are a year older but I don't know their birthdays. Only Ni-Ki's and Jake's.

I picked out some drinks and snacks, and then payed for them at the checkout.

Later on I was just walking to my bus stop. Jay sent me the address directly cause the rest of the group have been at his house like a million times.

I waited patiently for my bus and it finally arrived. I payed for my bus ticket as I walked in and then sat down next to a window. I plugged my headphones in and then just stared out the window listening to the music.

I was listening to some random songs and one familiar song played. It was an English song.

'I love this song..' I thought and closed my eyes, smiling.

We don't talk anymoreWe don't talk anymoreWe don't talk anymoreLike we used to doWe don't love anymoreWhat was all of it for?Oh, we don't talk anymoreLike we used to do

The song played through my headphones.

I just heard you found the one you've been lookingYou've been looking forI wish I would have known that wasn't me'Cause even after all this time, I still wonderWhy I can't move onJust the way you did so easily

I hummed along. I just listened until the second verse came up. It hit me. Like a bullet it hit me. The realisation.

I just hope you're lying next to somebodyWho knows how to love you like meThere must be a good reason that you're goneEvery now and then I think you might want me toCome show up at your doorBut I'm just too afraid that I'll be wrong

I realised just how much I related to the lyrics.

I thought I just really liked the song. I thought maybe it's just really good. I mean it is. But the song, was like me and him.

The lyrics match up. If only he heard this song. If only these lyrics could just punch him right in the face and realise, it's ME.

The girl who was beside him for YEARS. And then he just left. Left like an asshole. With absolutely NO explanation.

And he doesn't even remember me now. If he did he would've came up to me. He heard my name. He seen my face. He just.. forgot.

And my stupid head keeps replaying memories of him.

My stupid brain keeps telling me he'll realise.

And my stupid heart still believes there's a chance for us.

I'm in love with the memories of him.

Not the current him.

flashback

"Alright! I'll count to ten and you go hide okay?" A 7 year old Riki spoke.

"Okay!" A 6 year old y/n spoke.

She went to go hide as they played in the park. Her and Riki were playing hide and seek. She was the hider.

It was winter and it was getting darker faster. She went and hid behind a slide. She eagerly waited until Riki started seeking.

Riki sure took his sweet time counting. She waited, and waited, and waited. She started getting worried.

'Where is Riki?? He was meant to be seeking!' She thought and pouted.

It started to get even colder, and eventually, it started snowing.

She crawled into the slide. It was a tube slide so she didn't get the snow on her, but it was still cold.

She forgot her gloves, so her little hands were slowly turning very red. She started shaking and eventually it got foggier and the sky was turning a darker shade of blue.

"Riki.. Riki.. wh..where are you?.." Her eyelids started closing.

"You.. were meant to be seeking.. dummy." She muttered as she was freezing.

"Next time I see you.. I'll steal your legos..!" Her eyelids fully shut as she was laying in the slide knocked out.

The last thing she heard before she passed out was footsteps.

As she woke up, she felt really warm. She was laying down in a bed. She was covered with blankets and many pillows.

'Mmm.. so warm..' she thought.

She started blinking trying to get her eyes to fully open. As her eyes finally opened fully, she realised where she was.

She started panicking. She thought someone kidnapped her. Her granny told her about dangerous men and how to watch out.

She then felt a hand rub her head. And the smell. The smell she loved so much.

"Nana.. relax.. it's me." A tired voice said.

She turned around to face the voice. She was facing the other person that was hugging her earlier.

"Riki.?" She said softly.

"Mmm.." he said practically asleep.

He was holding her hand as he slept.

"You..came?" She said.

"Ofcourse I did silly.." He said waking up more but still talking softly.

"I wouldn't leave you ever." Riki said.

"R-Riki.. I was so scared!" Y/n started sniffling.

He woke up fully after hearing her sniffle.

"Hey!.. hey! It's okay.. I'm here!" He said rubbing her hand.

She just kept crying.

"You're such a crybaby.." He said.

He then pulled her towards himself and hugged her. Her face facing his chest.

He caressed her head for comfort.

"I'm sorry.. I was about to start looking for you but then I saw a cute puppy and then I got distracted." He explained.

"It started snowing and it got colder." He said.

"I thought you would've really thought it was cute so I searched for you and realised you were still hiding." Riki told y/n.

"I searched everywhere. I panicked. I imagined how scared and cold you must've been." Riki just kept caressing her head slowly.

"As soon as I found you I quickly hugged you and wrapped my scarf around you. Granny came looking for us and she quickly took us both in and warmed us up." He said.

"My granny!-" y/n got cut off.

"She knows you're here. My granny told her you're here." Riki said.

"So you didn't leave me..?" y/n asked her voice breaking.

"Of course not. I would never leave you." Riki said.

"Riki?" Y/n asked.

"Yeah?" Riki replied.

"Do you think we'll be friends forever?" Y/n said still hugging him as her face is on his chest.

"If we believe it. Of course." Riki said.

"Do you promise we'll stay together? We'll be friends forever?" Y/n asked.

"I promise." Riki said.

Y/n got her head off of his chest and looked up at him.

"Pinky promise?" She stuck her pinky out.

"Pinky promise." He stuck his pinky out and intertwined it with hers. He then sealed it by pressing their thumbs together.

He smiled at her as they looked at each other. She smiled back.

end of flashback

I heard the bus announce it was my stop next. I got ready to get off. The bus stopped and the doors opened. It was still bright outside by the time I got there. It was around 6.30pm.

I opened google maps and followed the route it gave me to Jay's house. I then came across a extremely tall building. Much taller than mines.

'Wow.. whoever lives here must be RICH RICH.' I thought.

You've arrived at your destination. My phone said.

'What. WHAT?' I thought.

"This is where Jay lives?!" I said out loud.

'The guys weren't kidding when they said he practically lives in a penthouse.' I thought.

I opened my DMs with Jay and checked what apartment number to call.

'Number 25..'

I stood in front of all the buzzers.

I pressed it and patiently waited.

"Hello"? I heard a voice say.

"It's me." I said.

"Oh yeah come in!" The voice said.

The door opened and I seen the stairs. There was a noticeboard on the wall beside all the mailboxes, with all of the floors and door numbers written down.

Jay was on the VERY TOP?

I looked at the stairs and sighed.

There was 14 floors. On jays floor it was only him.After I seen how tall the building is and then seen that Jay's is on the top, I wanted to collapse.

To my saviour, there was an elevator. I swear I seen god for a split second when that elevator was in sight. It's like the angels gave me a gift.

I called the elevator and then got on and went upstairs.

I finally made it in front of Jay's apartment door.

I knocked.

I heard loud noises coming from the apartment.

"Coming!" I heard a voice say.

The door opened and revealed Jungwon.

"Oh hey, it's you." He said.

"'Hey y/n. Great to see you!' Couldn't have worked?" I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, yeah just come in!" Jungwon said.

I took my shoes off and left my bag by the door. I took the groceries into the living room.

"JAKE! IF YOU HIT ME ONE MORE TIME WITH YOUR STUPID POWER UP I'LL SEND A WHOLE ARMY TANK TO YOUR HOUSE AND BREAK DOWN YOUR DOOR!" Sunoo yelled.

"HA. HA. HA. HA." Jake said.

"NOOOOOOOO! JAKE!!" Sunoo screamed.

"Ugh why wont it TURNN!!" Sunghoon yelled.

"You're pressing the wrong button dumbass!" Ni-Ki yelled.

"I'M IN THE LEAD LOSERS!" Jake screamed.

"NOT ANYMORE!" Ni-Ki yelled.

The guys were playing Mario kart. I just walked in and seen them sitting on the couch, and some of them laying on the floor with controllers.

Jungwon and me just walked over to the kitchen that was joint with the living room so we seen everything happening.

"You can place the drinks here if you want." Jungwon said opening the fridge for me.

"Yeah thanks." I said.

Heeseung wasn't there for some reason. And Jay was just sitting eating Cheetos on the couch. The game came to an end and I seen Jungwon and Jay cover their ears.

"NOOOO!" Sunoo screamed.

"YEAHHHH!!!" Ni-Ki yelled.

"NI-KI!!" Jake shouted.

"This STUPID CONTROLLER!" Sunghoon yelled.

I understood why them two covered their ears..

After the round ended they drank their drinks and ate some snacks and then realised I came.

"Oh y/n you're here? Hey!!" Sunoo said.

"Welcome, welcome." Sunghoon said.

"Make yourself at home!" Jake said.

"You guys realise this is my house right?.." Jay said drinking his beer.

"So you wanna play a round?" Sunoo asked.

"Yeah sure I love Mario kart!" I said and leaped on the couch.

"Scooch over with your bum!" I said to Jake.

"Here take my controller. It's broken anyway!" Sunghoon huffed and handed me the controller.

"Haha. Thanks." I said.

The round started and Ni-Ki was in the lead. I was right behind him. I wasn't gonna go easy. He was always good at Mario kart. We used to play it together all the time when we were younger.

So now that we're older, it really brings back good memories. And now that he doesn't know me. It breaks my heart.

I got a bomb power up and used it. It luckily hit Ni-Ki and slowed him down.

"HEY!" He yelled.

I smirked.

"Serves you right." I said.

"Ohoho someone's better than Riki for once?" Jay said.

"Jay! I said to call me Ni-Ki." Ni-ki said in a serious tone.

"Alright. Alright. My bad." Jay said.

I kept playing but I stopped smirking and zoned out a little.

'Why was he bothered so much?' Is what I was thinking.

I got distracted and Ni-Ki got in front. I shook my thoughts away and focused.

'No way this butt cheek is getting in front of me.'

I got a speed power up and used it.

"Bye bye loser." I said.

I passed him and finished my 3rd lap and won.

"YEAAHHHHH!!" I screamed and threw my hands in the air and leaned on the couch.

"Damn it." Ni-Ki said.

"NI-KI WAS BEATEN?" Jungwon screamed holding an ice cream in his hands.

"WHAT?!" Heeseung screamed walking in.

We just looked at him.

"Where did you come from?" Sunoo said placing his controller down.

"I was getting pizza?" Heeseung said.

"Oh yeah! Come on. Hurry up and place it on the table." Jake said.

We turned off the console and sat round the table.

"Mmm it smells so good." Sunghoon said.

I grabbed a pizza and took a bite out of it.

"It's so good." I said.

The guys just munched away on the pizza. After we finished eating Jungwon, Jay and Sunghoon cleaned up.

"Sooo.. you wanna play a game?" Sunoo asked me.

"What kind of game?" I asked back.

"Truth or dare. And if you don't answer truthfully or do the dare, you drink up." Sunoo said.

"You idiot! She can't play that game. She's 17." Jake said.

"I'm gonna be 18 in July though!! That's only a month away." I said pouting.

"Nope. Not until you're legally 18." Jake said.

"Come on Jake!! Pleaseee!" I begged him.

"What's going on guys?" Heeseung asked.

"Jake won't let me drink." I huffed.

"Because she's 17!" Jake sighed.

"I'm 18 in Korean age." I said.

"You see what, do whatever you want. If you start vomiting that's on Heeseung." Jake gave up.

"What?! Me?!" Heeseung said.

"Okay I get it. I'll wait until July." I sighed.

"Let's still play the game though. And instead of drinking I have to do something ridiculous that you guys have to choose." I said.

"Okay done! I'll set up the drinks and the bottle to spin for truth or dare." Sunoo said.

I just sat there and patiently waited. Ni-Ki walked in from being in the bathroom. I looked at him. He looked back and then we both looked away.

I couldn't look at his face properly. It was awkward. He forgot me, but it still feels like he knows something.

Eventually Jungwon, Jay and Sunghoon joined us. We all sat round the bottle in a circle.

"Okay I'll start. Whoever it lands on has to truth or dare." Sunoo said.

He span and bottle. It kept spinning for a bit and eventually came to a stop.

"Sunghoon!" Sunoo said.

"Truth or dare?" Sunoo asked.

"Truth I guess." Sunghoon said.

"Have you ever hooked up with someone older than you?" Sunoo said.

Sunghoon took a shot.

We all 'OHH'.

"Okay, okay. Next person." Sunghoon said.

He spun the bottle and it landed on Jake.

"Ughhh." Jake said.

"Truth or dare?" Sunghoon asked.

"You see what, dare!" Jake said.

"I dare you to let Heeseung send a risky text to the first girl in your contacts!" Sunghoon said.

"Fine." Jake handed his unlocked phone to Heeseung.

Heeseung smirked. He started typing something whilst giggling.

"Done." Heeseung burst out laughing.

"Uh oh.." Jungwon said.

"Who did he text? Who did he text!" Sunoo asked.

"NO." Jake panicked.

He dropped the phone and planted his face in a pillow beside him.

I picked the phone up and read the text message out loud.

"I like thinking about you at night while I'm NAKED?!" I said shocked.

The others gasped and laughed.

"Who was it to?" Jay asked.

"Uhh let's see.. some girl called 아인 (ah-in)." I said.

"ACTUALLY?? JAKE YOU'RE SCREWED BUDDY!" Jungwon said.

"Is that the girl he was texting?" Sunghoon asked.

"YUP." Sunoo said.

We all burst out laughing and Jungwon patted Jake's back, telling him to cheer up.

"Okay, okay. My turn!" Jake said spinning the bottle.

It landed on.. me?

"Truth or dare!" Jake asked me.

"Hmm.. I'll play safe for now. Truth!" I said.

"Whaaat? Man you guys are no fun!" Jake said.

"When was your first love?" Jake asked.

I got flustered.

"What?? You had a first love?!" Jungwon asked.

Some of the guys 'oooo'd me.

"Uh.. I-.. erm." I stammered.

I looked at Ni-Ki.

He was staring right at me. I felt chills and couldn't speak properly.

Before anyone would notice I broke our eye contact.

"Uhm. Oh I forgot! I-.. It was when I was in Japan haha.. I just can't remember now." I said awkwardly.

"Ehh? Stop lying!!" Jake said.

"You can't remember your first love? Come on everyone can!" Jay said.

"I don't know it was ages ago." I said looking away.

"I still can't believe you didn't tell me about it!" Jungwon said.

"I did.. I think?" I said.

"No you only told me about a guy named Ri-" I lunged at Jungwon and covered his mouth.

"OH? SO YOU DO KNOW?" Sunghoon said.

"GUYS. Next round okay? The question was WHEN not WHO." Sunoo said.

I looked at Sunoo with pleading eyes.

'Sunoo. You're truly an angel.' I thought looking at him.

"Okay, okay. Spin the bottle." Heeseung said.

I span the bottle.

It landed on.. uh oh.. Riki..

"Me?" Ni-Ki said.

"Truth or dare." I said coldly.

There was this weird tension. I knew who he was. He forgot me.

But when I got asked about my first love.

He didn't look too happy.

"Truth." He stared back at me coldly.

The others just observed us and eagerly waited for the question.

"Truth? Are you scared of a dare?" I said biting my cheek trying not to scream at him for forgetting me.

"Didn't you also pick truth?" He fired back.

"Fair enough." I said glaring at him.

"Okay, well what's the question?"Jungwon asked.

"Hmm, okay. Let's make this interesting shall we?"I looked around the room and at the guys.

"Oooo.. what's it gonna be??" Sunghoon said.

"If you can't answer this question, you take 6 shots. It'll make you practically drunk." I said.

The other guys cheered and got excited.

"I like it, I like it!" Sunoo said.

"Deal." Ni-Ki looked at me.

"What was the name of the girl you first ever kissed?" I asked Ni-Ki and looked at him as if asking for a challenge.

He was taken aback.

"I.." Ni-Ki uttered.

"LETS HEAR IT!" Jake said.

"Say it! Say it! Say it!" Jungwon said.

Ni-ki poured up.

1..

2..

3..4

5..6.

He drank them one after the other. He then fell back on the sofa.

The other guys cheered.

'I knew it.' I thought and glared at Ni-Ki.

"Okay who's next??" Jungwon said.

They just skipped Ni-Ki spinning and continued playing.

I excused myself to go to the second floor of Jay's apartment.

I went into the bedroom that earlier Jay assigned me.

I dropped my bag in there and left the light turned off. I noticed that my room had a little balcony area.I love balconies.

I opened the door and sat there cuddling my knees thinking about earlier.

"He.. knows." I spoke to myself.

"He knows it's me. He's just playing dumb." I kept telling myself.

"He promised. And he left me after all those fucking years." I felt tears forming in my eyes.

'I don't know what he went through, but I went through hell.' I thought to myself.

'It's time.'

'Time for him to stop playing dumb.'

Eventually I headed back downstairs and half of the guys were drunk and most of them were tipsy.

Jay was the only one fairly sober. He put all the guys into their rooms and was cleaning up all the bottles.

"Thanks Jay. Is everyone already sleeping?" I said.

"Yeah I think they all knocked out after they drank." Jay said.

"Oh wait! There's one left." Jay said.

"I'll go get Ni-Ki from the balcony. Would you clean these bottles up for me?" Jay asked me.

"Actually.. could I move Ni-Ki to his room? I've been in dept to him since after your game this morning." I said.

"I mean uhh sure? He's quite heavy though you know? He's like over 6ft." Jay said.

"It's fine! I'm quite strong despite my looks." I said.

"Well okay then. I'll clean up the bottles and I'll wash up after. If you need anything help yourself okay?" Jay said.

"Yup! Don't worry Jay-오빠." I said.

He left to go clean up in the kitchen and I walked over to the balcony.

I slid open the door and entered the balcony.

Ni-Ki was peacefully dozing off on a patio chair.

I shook him.

"Ni-Ki." I said shaking him.

"Ni-Ki wake up." I said.

"Ughh.." I grunted.

"Nishimura Riki." I whisper-shouted.

"Wake up dumbass." I shook him hard.

He blinked a couple of times and was half asleep.

"...huhhh..." he muffled.

"Jawke?" He said drunkily, messing up his words.

"Yeah, yeah sure." I said.

"Come on, it's time to go to bed." I tried picking him up.

"Y/n?" Niki mumbled.

"Yeah it's me." I said lifting his arm.

I soon after dropped it.

"You are quite heavy.." I grunted trying to pick him up.

"Say, do yu remembwer me?" Ni-Ki asked me in Japanese, mumbling his words cause he was drunk.

"Huh?" I replied.

"Yu know.. I didn't.. fowget who you were." Ni-Ki said mumbling his words.

"Who am I?" I asked him.

"Yu.. You.. arwe.." he mumbled.

"Who am I Riki." I said getting serious

"..you.." he mumbled.

"Kina." Ni-Ki said falling asleep in my arms.

My eyes widened.

___________________________________

𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫! (𝐎𝐨𝐟)

𝐒𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐢 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 - 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞. 😷🤒

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭..

𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 'this font' 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲'𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐉𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐞.

𝐕𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭!

-𝐥𝐞𝐤𝐬𝐚 💕