My World

"How'd you have enough money to get all of this baby stuff?"

I cringe at Kie's question, I was hoping no one would pick up on the fact that JJ and I have money all of the sudden, since he started melting the gold bars I'd given him before I was arrested and sold a few nuggets on the mainland.

He stayed true to our promise and didn't tell anyone about it.

"I had money stashed away, so did JJ." I lie, "And he was saving everything he made at work while I was in jail, so that we could get everything the baby needs."

"I'm so proud of the both of you," Sarah smiles while holding up one of the baby outfits we bought today, "you're both maturing and really taking things seriously. Even JJ, which I'll admit I had my doubts about, but he's been so... focused on you and the baby, it's good to see."

"I agree," Kie chimes, "I never would have thought JJ, the island playboy, would be settled down at 18 with a kid on the way, and actually be mature about it. When you told us you were pregnant before tearing off to kill Ward, I thought JJ was going to run off and hide from you again, but he just zoned in on you instead. Like it made him see you more or something."

"I did too." I sigh, "He hid for two months and physically hurt me when he came back, I really thought we were done, I wanted to tell him he just shoved his pregnant baby mama out of the hot tub so he'd feel bad about it but I knew that wasn't the time to tell him since he was drunk."

"Well telling him the next day after he cried all night over you and while you were on a murder rampage definitely made more sense." Kie jokes, her face showing the amusement she felt towards my poor timing.

"Hey, it worked out," I defend myself, "he fell for me hardcore after all that. And I didn't know if I'd see him again, so I wanted him to know before he dipped for another month or forever."

"That he did," Sarah hands me the bundle of baby clothes she finished folding, I tuck them away in the little dresser the boys set up, that matches her new crib, that's sitting in the corner of the room; ready for her arrival. "I'm glad it worked out, because you and him are perfect for each other."

Kie excuses herself from my room, so I turn to Sarah and lower my voice, "So what's going on with her and Pope?"

She shrugs, "They hooked up that night that.. well when Rafe showed up here, and then they've been awkward ever since. JJ told me that Pope was a virgin so he thinks he's just being weird Pope, but I think something happened, because Kie is being weird too, you know?"

"Yeah I noticed," I mutter, "I thought Kie was still hung up on Rafe. She's been super distant with me ever since that night that he.. But it's not like it's my fault that Rafe is obsessed with me, I really don't want his attention."

"It's not your fault, Willow. And Kie knows that, I think she's just having a hard time understanding why he's being this way, because when he see's her he tells her that he still wants her, so it's confusing, and obviously Kie wouldn't like.. still want him after everything he's done to you and JJ, I think she just misses the way things used to be for them."

"Hey," Kie interrupts us, "Sarah, we have to go, Pope needs our help at Heyward's. Now that we're all living here at the Chateau, homeless and all, we should go make some money."

She gets up from my bed and hugs me, "I should get out of here anyways, don't want John B to get mad that I'm hanging around too much since he's still pissed that I thanked Topper for saving my life."

"I think he's more mad that you didn't tell him you were fake married," I laugh, "but hey, I see your reasoning, it was an awkward situation and telling your ex you're married after he just spent the night taking care of you was probably a weird moment to be in."

She sighs, "I wanted to say something, but with everything going on, it was a lot, and I was excited you were back, Brookie, I just wanted to get Topper out of there so I could be with yall."

"I know," I hug her again, "John B is an idiot, he will get over it and take you back."

"I broke up with him, remember?" She reminds me, "He literally smiled and celebrated my dad dying while I was crying my eyes out. Fucking Topper had to be there for me, well you and JJ were too, but still, he should have been."

"I know, Barbie, I'm sorry. I was mad he did that too, it was shitty, but we lost our dad because of Ward. I think he finally felt relief, something we haven't felt since dad disappeared, which that doesn't make the situation any better, but just don't forget that there was two sides to the story. Both of you need to take time to be okay on your own, then you can figure out the relationship stuff."

Sarah smiles softly, "Thanks, Willow."

~~~~~

The house has been quiet for some time now, I don't really know where the boys have been, but I've been enjoying the alone time, it's nice having time to get everything ready for my sweet little girl.

I finished getting her clothes put away, I made her bed, packed JJ and my backpacks with baby stuff we might need for the hospital. Pope had that idea, he said 'With how often we run around the island, you're bound to give birth while we're out so you both need to have essentials for the baby so we won't have to worry about that part, we can just focus on getting you to the hospital.' It was nice to see how invested he is about making sure I'm okay, I think the false labor made all of us realize how close we are to having a real baby on our hands.

I jump when arms wrap around me, but I relax when I smell old spice and weed, "Hi Jay."

He turns me around and lightly kisses my lips, "Hi beautiful." I blush and snuggle into his chest, "I want to show you something." He smiles ear to ear while he walks me through the house, when we step onto the back porch I stop dead in my tracks, taking in the scene in front of me.

"Jay, this is for us?" I ask him while my eyes wander the yard; the beautiful candle lit dinner set up in the middle of the yard, the twinkling lights in the trees and rose pedals across the grass leading to the house melts my heart. 

"Yes." He walks backwards while pulling me by my hands towards the table, "You mean the world to me, and I want to show you that you're important. That I can be the man you need in your life."

I tear up while I stare into his ocean eyes, "This is perfect, Jay. You're amazing."

"You're amazing." He stops walking and presses a kiss to my lips. "My amazing girl. And mother to my child. I want to be someone you can be proud to call yours."

"I'm already proud to call you mine, Jay." I place my hands on his cheeks, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

His face lights up, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you too, Willow." He helps me sit down in my seat and then quickly sits across from me, "I can't cook so it's take out, I hope that's okay."

I smile, "I love Chinese food, so it's perfect."

"Okay good." He nervously opens the food containers and makes our plates, "I've never done this before. You know dates were never my thing."

I chuckle, "I haven't had many romantic dates either. So this is new to me as well."

He flashes a smile before handing me my plate, "I guess that makes sense, you weren't really the relationship type either."

I nod, "Not that I wasn't into relationships, since I dated Kie, but John B never let me get to that point with anyone else."

"Do you like the romantic stuff though?" He asks, glancing down to play with the food on his plate.

"I like the effort behind the act. So yeah I do. Like this," I motion to the scene around us, "makes me feel special. I know you put a lot of thought behind doing this, I know it means a lot to go out of your comfort zone to make me happy."

JJ reaches across the table to hold my hand, "It does mean a lot. You're the only girl I've ever felt the need to put an effort in with. I know that kind of makes me sound like an asshole for the girls in the past but it never felt right, but it does with you."

"I'm glad I get to see this side of you, and I'm glad I'm the only one that gets this side of you." I squeeze his hand before pulling away to eat my food.

"You'll always be the only girl that gets the sweet side of me." He smiles, "I never really thought I'd have kids, but when I thought about the possibility of having one if something like this happened, then a girl was what I hoped for."

"She's going be a daddy's girl and have you wrapped around her little finger."

"Damn right she will." He proudly exclaims, "I can't wait to meet her."

"Me either," I grin, "we will travel the world with her. She will learn about different cultures and experience things most kids don't get to."

His smile reaches his eyes again, "I'd love that, we will raise her to be an adventurous pogue." He laughs, "What's your favorite color?"

I laugh with him, "Grey."

He pinches his brows together, "Seriously?"

"Yeah, I love the different shades of grey. There's soft greys and sharp dark greys."

"You always surprise me," JJ shakes his head as he smiles, "mines green."

"I would have guessed red," I laugh, "why green?"

He shrugs, "It's a good color, and it looks good on me."

"I do like green on you."

He smirks, "Thanks. I like when you wear turquoise."

"That's why you love that one bathing suit." I blush, "I wore a turquoise shirt the first time we ever had sex."

"I know. When you came into John Bs room that morning, I was mesmerized by you, which is fucking shitty considering I had a girl under me. I couldn't shake how beautiful you looked, but then I saw you crying."

"I'm glad you made a move on me. God, I was lost in your eyes when we had sex." I confess, "I couldn't believe someone could have so much depth in their eyes. And the way you held me, I'd never felt so safe and secure before."

He chuckles, "I get what you mean, I felt like I'd never had sex before, it was the first time I'd felt sex on a deeper level I guess. I didn't know that at the time but it was intoxicating. Before that night, I thought about you more times than I'd like to admit."

"I thought about you a lot too. I was terrified of how I felt after we had sex though." I laugh at his surprised expression, "I was scared you used me to take my virginity, but then I felt like you were being honest about liking me, so it was confusing."

He pushes his empty plate away and leans back in his chair, "It was confusing and scared me too, but I knew I wanted to at least try with you."

I place my hand on his, "I love being yours, Jay."

"I love being yours too." He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles, "I have something for you." He sets my hand down and shifts out of his chair so he's on one knee next to me.

My eyes to go wide while my heartrate rises when he pulls something from his pocket.

JJ opens a velvet box, revealing a Princess cut diamond ring, "I love you, Willow. And I only see you when I think about my future, and.. and I know we're really young but I'm sure about this. I even got your dads approval already. I want you to be mine, Princess, I want you by my side everyday, to wake up to you every morning, make years and years worth of memories together, to be a family for our sweet baby girl. So, Willow Brooke Routledge.... will you marry me?"

So that's what my dad was talking about..

My smile reaches my eyes while I stare into the blue of his, "Yes."

His eyebrows shoot up, a wide smile crossing his face, "Yes?"

"Yes, Jay, I want to marry you." I hold my hand out for him, he slips the ring on me with the happiest expression I have ever seen on him, "I love it, Jay." I bring it closer to look at it and fell in love with him even more as I take in the moment, "Wow, baby, this is beautiful."

JJ pulls me to my feet and connects our lips, we hold each other close, enjoying our first moments as each others Fiancé, "I am so happy right now, Princess."

"I am too."

He watches me look at the ring in amazement, "Do you want to go inside?"

"Yeah we can do that." I hold onto his arm, following the flower pedals up to the house.

When we walk into the room I smile, candles line my dresser and nightstand, more flowers are strewn across the floor, and on the bed there's two stuffed animals.

"The starfish is yours." JJ explains, "The dolphin is for the baby, when she is old enough to play with it of course."

"Jay, this is so sweet. I love all of this." I wrap my arms around him, "I love you."

"I love you, baby." He kisses my head, "Kie and Sarah did all this while we were outside, in case you were wondering."

"I figured you had some help."

JJ smiles, "Do you want to consummate this engagement?"

I laugh, "I think that only applies to actually getting married, but yes, I do." I help him pull my shirt off, "Lets take our time and make love, baby."

"I can handle that." He murmurs against my lips as he kisses me. When he pulls away we quickly step out of our clothes and get into bed. His lips are soft against my skin as he savors the taste of me, I moan when he sucks on my neck, the feeling causes a ripple of emotion to flow through me. "You were made for me, Willow." His low voice echoes in my mind, "My Princess." 

I'm made special for him. He's made for me.

I hold back tears while he glides in and out of me, his touch is gentle while caressing my body. Everything he does makes my heart flutter, I love when he stays close to me, pressing our bodies together while feathering kisses down my neck.

My mind is clear when he coaxes me through my ecstasy.

"I'll always be yours." I lift my legs to wrap around his hips, his slow pace only dragging the pleasure out, making my orgasm feel like it's lasting hours.

"Holy shit." He breathes out after releasing inside of me. "That was... wow." He chuckles and lays down next to me, "I don't know how to describe what just happened between us."

"I don't either," I roll into his side and lay my head on his arm, "our bodies are meant for each other."

He hums in response, "I love everything about you."

"I feel the same about you." I poke his cheek, "My handsome man."

His face turns serious, making me worry that I did something wrong, "Willow, I want you to know that I won't ever treat you badly again, the way I acted at Barry's and the night before the tarmac, it was wrong. I know I've apologized hundreds of times already, but I need you to know that I could never do that to you again."

"I know," I quietly tell him, "I trust you, Jay."

Tears well in his eyes, his lip quivers, our eyes locked on each others, "The.. the look on your face each time I put m-my hands on you, it makes me feel sick thinking about it. I wish... I never put you through that baby. You never should have ever experienced abuse, and the.. the fact that I'm the reason you have.. it hurts.. so.. fucking much."

My own tears spill from my eyes, "It was a little scary."

He wraps his arms around me, pulling me onto his chest, "I'm so.. so sorry, Willow. I promise you'll n-never have a reason to be scared of me again, and our.. and our daughter will never experience abuse either."

I play with the hair on the side of his head, "I forgive you, Jay. I know you've been through a lot because of your dad and you let his influence fuel your anger. But I also know you aren't like him. I believe you, baby, I know I'm safe with you."

"Thank you." JJ sniffles, "I don't deserve your forgiveness but thank you."

"You do deserve it, Jay, you deserve so much more than you've been given in life so far." I shift my body so I can kiss his neck, "I love you, more than you know."

"I love you too," He reaches one hand up to wipe his cheeks, "more than you know."

"Lets get some sleep, I think we need it," I wrap my arm over his torso, my body tucked in to his side, "goodnight, Jay."

"Goodnight, Princess." He kisses my head before turning the lamp off.

My fiancé. The father to my child. He's my world too.

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