My Druthers: Emotional

While we continue to drive home from Popes mee-maws nursing home, tears steadily run down my face. I avoid everyone's stares and pinch my arm, trying to distract myself from my stupid insecurities, so I lean into the van wall and close my eyes to rest, but the pain radiating across my belly is making it hard to sleep. 

I heard shuffling and a few complaints from my friends, and then hands on me, when I look to see who it is, JJs concerned eyes stare back at me, "Baby, what's wrong?"

"No, leave me alone." I push his hands off of my leg.

His face turns to shock, "Wait, are you mad at me?"

"Go sit somewhere else," I turn away to look out the window, "I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Don't shut me out, Princess." He tries turning me but I brush his hands off of me, "Why are you mad at me? I didn't do anything."

I scoff, "Says you, JJ. King of shutting people out."

"Seriously? I fucking apologized for that a long time ago, baby, don't use it against me now that things are fine." He pulls my arm so I have to look at him, "What is wrong with you right now?"

"Things aren't fine." I flicker my eyes around the van to see everyone trying to pretend they weren't listening to us, "You want to know what's wrong with me?"

"Yeah, I do." He slips his hands into mine.

"I'm in a relationship with you." The words slip out before I could stop them. 

Everyone's jaws drop while they stare at us. I felt like throwing up when I saw JJs face drop into the saddest face I've ever seen him wear.

"You don't want to be with me anymore?" He quietly asks, dropping my hands before he scoots away from me.

"Correction, you don't want to be with me." I tell him, "But you stay with me because you feel like you have to.. since you knocked me up."

He furrows his brows, "Uh, that's not true. Where did you get that from?"

"You go against the shit we talk about. If something is dangerous or going to earn you jail time, then you're right there hoping something happens to you. It's like you're trying to find a way out of being there for me and the baby."

"That's not true, Willow." He hisses, "I'm sorry I tried busting you out of jail, but I couldn't handle the idea of living my life without you. I promise I am not doing anything dangerous or trying to get away from you."

"Do you not remember what you and John B were just talking about? Then you started whispering to him so I couldn't hear what your stupid dangerous plan is."

JJ sighs, "No, baby, it wasn't something that's going to get me in trouble. It's fine." He scoots back over to me and grabs my hands, "Princess, I can't live without you or the baby. Please don't think that I could. I don't ever want to lose you again. Life without you was horrible."

I feel like an idiot for being upset, I know he wants me, I know he's excited for the baby.

I burst into tears and lean into his chest, "I'm sorry. I'm just hormonal, it makes me emotional, and I'm overwhelmed with being back in the real world."

I earned a few laughs but JJ just sighs lowly and holds me tight, "You're my world. You and the baby."

John B clears his throat, "Uh, we're here."

I pull away from JJs chest and glance outside to see we were back at Heyward's shop. He cups my face and kisses me, by the time we pull away we're the only one's left in the van.

"Don't push me away, Princess. Cause I'll fight for you, I'm not going anywhere. I want you and I want the baby." He sternly tells me, "I know I make the wrong choices all the time but you aren't one of them, neither is our baby. I want to be a dad, and I want to be your man."

"I know, I.. I just got stuck in my head. I love you."

"I love you so much." He places a soft kiss on my lips before pulling away and crawling out of the van, "They're waiting for us." 

I nod and let him help me walk to the docks, avoiding Kie and Sarah's concerned looks and lean against the railing next to JJ.

John B passes Pope, patting his shoulder while clutching a beer in his free hand, "I still can't believe you're related to Denmark Tanny," He spins around next to JJ to look at the group with a playful expression, "Are we in the presence of a royal?"

I guess I missed a lot of information.. Oops.

"A king? We shall crown him." JJ walks over to Pope and pretends to crown him, "All hail the lord of Tannyhill!"

"We're not worthy!" John B calls out in a posh accent. 

Everyone giggles while we pretend to bow down to Pope. 

"Everybody relax." He pleads while laughing. "Can we relax, please?"

"Relocate to Cat's Ass, question mark?" Sarah asks.

I forgot the hot tubs name for a second and was confused.

"I'm with that." JJ responds, "How soon can we move in? 'Cause I don't have a place to stay." 

I look up at him confused. But he just shrugs and looks away with a guilty expression. 

Does he not live with me? I know he's referring to not wanting to go back to his dads house, but he's been living at the chateau for years. This is exactly what I was just worried about. He says one thing to me and then goes around saying things or doing things with other people that make me think he's not in this for the long run.

Kie laughs, "Me either. Bunk beds?"

"Bunk beds." JJ clanks his beer against hers, "Cheers to that."

I wish I could have a beer, I need one right now. Or some oxy. No don't think like that.

"I just keep thinking about the letter, the one that Limbrey sent."  Pope cuts off our joking with his theories, "It had the wheat symbol on it. That must mean it has something to do with the Royal Merchant."

"Yeah. Something seems fishy." JJ mumbles, his focus on me eyeing his beer, he frowns while shaking his head at me. 

I quickly glance away and look out over the water.

"But if we find that cross," Pope adds, "we can split it like we were gonna split the gold."

"And live happily ever after?" A woman's voice carries down the dock. 

We all snap our heads in her direction. 

She's a sickly woman walking with arm crutches, and she has a gruff looking guy with a leather jacket following her with an umbrella held over them both.

"You assaulted my father." Pope angrily accuses. 

She stops directly in front of him, the man pushes him away when he tries to get in her face, "Oh, I didn't assault anybody." 

"He can identify the psycho from a mile away." Kie states in a condescending tone. 

"Why would my employee a... a... assault your father?" She stutters, I glance over at JJ right when he subtly winks at John B, "That's absurd. Listen, we can keep on negotiating, but the fact is that I want the key--"

"Hey!" Kie cuts her off when the guy grabs Pope's shirt and shoves him into the wooden post behind him, JJ steps towards them while reaching over to push me behind him. 

"And I won't stop until I have it. I don't have a choice, which means you don't either."

"It's Limbrey, right? Is that right?" John B speaks up from my other side.

"Yes." She turns to him.

John B pulls my dads old brass office key from his pocket, "Is this what you're looking for?"

"Yes, it is." Her eyes light up.

John B looks out of the water, "Looking at the tide right now, I'd say it's about 20 feet deep out there. So, if I just threw it in the channel, the probability of you finding it again is slim to none. You wanna give it a shot? Ready?" 

John B pretends to throw the key, smirking when Limbrey panics.

She gasps, "Please don't do that."

"Get him to back the hell up." He points at Renfield.

JJ leans back against the railing and slips his hand into mine, keeping his eyes on our not so welcome guests. 

"Of course." She breathes out, "Back up." Renfield backs away while eyeing us, she steps directly in front of Pope, "As I have told you from the beginning, I am willing to be reasonable." 

"Okay." Pope finally agrees.

"Okay?"

"I'll give you the key, but I want the tape that exonerates Willow and proves Ward killed Big John."

"Of course. Of course." She smiles.

"Pope. Hey, hey, hey, hey." John B pats his chest, "You don't have to do this, okay?" 

"No, it's okay." Pope confidently says while taking the key.

"No, dude, this is your family." John B continues to stress.

"Hey, it's fine. It's okay. It's about your dad. That's way more important."

"Oh, you're a good friend." Limbrey breathes out. 

"The tape." Pope holds his hand out. 

"Yes, give him the tape." Limbrey instructs Renfield who begrudgingly hands Pope the tape at the same time he hands the key to Limbrey. 

She sighs, "You know, I wish that you'd come to this decision earlier. We could have avoided all this unpleasantness."

"Nice to meet you." John B calls out as they turn to walk away.

"See you around, Pope." Renfield threatens with a sly smile. 

"Just go." Kie glares at him while he laughs and follows Limbrey.

"How long do you think we have until she realizes she has your father's old key?" JJ questions John B.

He moves to stand next to JJ, "Ten minutes."

Pope turns to us with an excited expression, "Whose idea was the fake key?" 

"Shockingly, not mine." Kie shrugs. 

"Hmm, I don't know. Should we tell him?" John B pulls JJ into a side hug while patting his chest, making him do the cutest face scrunch. 

"Wow." Kie grins at JJ, "I'm impressed. Maybe you are good for something."

Pope laughs while squeezing between JJ and I, wrapping his arms around him, "Did hell freeze over?"

"Even a blind pig can find an acorn at times." JJ jokes while both Pope and John B playfully shake him, "I actually don't know what that means, but I saw it on Reddit."

He's so adorable.

"We gotta take the tape to Shoupe." John B excitedly calls out while walking off. 

Sarah and I lock eyes, my stomach drops when I take in her paled face. She has to watch her dad go down for this, which is good, but it'll still hurt. I feel bad for her, and my brother doesn't seem to notice how sad she looks.

"Yes, sir. Ward Cameron, we're coming for you, big boy." JJ joins in on the excitement.

I link arms with Sarah, slowly follow the boys and Kie after they run off for the Twinkie. 

~~~~~

We stayed quiet on the drive to the police station, I know I have to do this, so I nudge Pope's leg with my foot, he looks up with a questioning look, "Can I have the tape?"

He nods and leans back while he digs it out of his pocket, when he places it my hands I stare at the little black device, turning it over in my hands while JJ and John B loudly talk about how horrible Ward is from the front seats. I know the charges were dropped, but having something in my hands that proves I'm innocent, and that it proves Ward killed my father, it feels surreal. 

Justice will be served. 

John B sputters the van to a stop, parking in front of the police station, he goes to jump out but I shake my head after stopping him, "I have to do it."

He watches me for a moment before shifting back in his seat, "You sure?"

"Yup," I yank the slide door open and hop out, "this is something I have to do," Turning to face the group, "after everything Rafe and Ward did to me, I think I deserve to be the one who puts them away."

JJ leans out of the open window and caresses my face, "We'll be waiting, Princess. You got this."

I nod, "I won't be long." 

I slowly walk into the station, ignoring the receptionist, my eyes land on Shoupe talking to the head SBI agent on Peterkin's case. Just who I need to talk to. I knock on his open office door, giving him a small smile when he turns his head. 

"Is everything okay?" Shoupe swivels his chair so he's fully facing me.

"I have something to give you," I hold the tape recorder up in the air, "that proves I didn't kill Peterkin and that my dad was murdered." 

The SBI agent leans onto his hands, looking over Shoupe's shoulder when I set the tape down on the desk, "Let's hear it." 

"Go ahead, press play." I sink into the chair across from them. 

Shoupe reaches forward and presses the button on the side, the voice of Ward's pilot, Gavin, fills the room.

"When I got to the tarmac, I saw the sheriff lying dead on the ground. And then Ward asked me to fly the gold to Nassau and dispose of the gun. He's protecting his son, it was Rafe Cameron who killed Sheriff Peterkin, not that young girl. I... I gotta be honest with you. I'm terrified. If anything happens to me, I'm telling you, it was Ward Cameron, just like what happened to Big John Routledge, if you cross a Cameron then you wind up dead." 

"I told you, Shoupe." I wipe my tears, "Ward killed my dad and Gavin, and now you know Rafe killed Peterkin. I really am innocent." He watches me with a sad expression, "Yeah. I know, kid. I know. I always believed you." 

"I went through all of that for nothing," I blubber, "and I'm pretty sure Ward paid someone, one of your officers, to make it look like I killed myself. That day you came in after I was attacked, the girl had a key, Shoupe." 

He nods, "I've had my suspicions, but its hard to weed out the bad ones." 

"Not so hard when you've got an Officer that clearly has it out for me, that was willing to beat me to a pulp while I'm pregnant." 

Shoupe stays quiet, his eyes flicker to the widow behind me. I'm sure Plumb is the one burning a whole in my back right now, she's always hated me. Why? I have no idea. 

"I'm sorry you ended up in the middle of this, Willow." He finally speaks up again, "But I know now, okay?"

"Okay." I cradle my huge baby bump with one hand and use the other to push myself out of my chair, "See you around."

"See you around, you've got my number if you need anything, don't be scared to reach out. I'll be there for you, kid." He sadly smiles when I nod at him, fresh tears running down my cheeks. 

I disappear out of his office, keeping my eyes on the ground so I can avoid the prying eyes around me. My heart hurts, not because I'm sad for Ward and Rafe, but because of the damage done by them. I never deserved the things I went through, I shouldn't have been blamed for murder, I shouldn't have been jumped in jail, I shouldn't have been raped, and I shouldn't have been treated like I was nothing. 

I guess I feel used. I was the easy way out, seems like everyone likes to do that to me. 

I silently crawl into the back of the van, ignoring everyone's questions, immediately curling up in a ball while cradling my belly, my head resting on Sarah's lap, letting her play with my hair while hiding my face. 

I just need a break from it all, I want to rest and not worry about gold, stalkers or death. 

~~~~~

Once we got to the Chateau the boys ran inside and started celebrating Ward and Rafe going to jail while Kie, Sarah and I sit outside on the porch. JJ tried getting my to join him, I know he's worried about me, I can see it in his eyes every time I catch him watching me, but I told him I needed to be there for Sarah. 

My best friend needs me, so my worries can be pushed away for now, I can handle my shit another day. 

Kie frowns at Sarah, "Do you regret it?"

She shakes her head, "No. He deserves all of it, and I know that."

"He's your dad, I get it. I'm sure it sucks to be in the middle." 

My mind settles on old memories from being over at the Cameron's house, spending time with them as a family and being Rafe's friend. Crazy how much has changed over the span of a year. 

Shoot, two years when I think about my dad being gone.

Sarah's phone starts ringing, causing me to snap out of my sad thoughts. She looks devastated by whatever the person on the other side is telling her. Kie shares a look with me, then she hung up and looks at us with tears in her eyes, "We have to go, Wards about to be arrested. I need to be there for Wheezie."

"I'll get a head start to the van, y'all get the boys." I mutter while struggling to stand up, this big belly is killing me.

They nod and run inside, by the time I settle into my seat, everyone was filing in.

John B tears off towards Tannyhill, driving like a damn maniac.

"Shit." Kie breathes out.

I lean to the side to look out of the windshield, blue and red lights streak across the intersection were driving towards, it has to be a dozen police vehicles speeding past us. This is going to be emotional. I already have a bad feeling that this won't be a typical arrest. Ward is known for adding a flare to everything, but this time it won't be a positive thing, it'll probably end with someone dying. 

 John B whips the Twinkie around the curve of the road, following the police trucks, matching their speed so we can get there before the actions starts. Though we probably shouldn't be there for this. 

"Can you please hurry? I need to be there for Wheezie." Sarah clings to the door when we hit a bump in the road. 

"You think I want to miss this?" John B asks in an emotionless voice, his eyes trained on the road in front of us. 

Sarah sends him a dirty look when he finally glances her way. He's being an asshole for no reason. Like come on, this is her dad, even if he's a bad guy, she's mourning her life she used to have, the father she used to know.

John B skids to a stop and parks along the street in front of Tannyhill, we scramble out of the Twinkie and peer over the stone wall at the edge of the property. I can see the police scattering out in the yard and down the dock.

"Screw it, I'm going over." John B grunts while dragging himself over the wall.

I sigh and look down at my large belly, this is going to suck.

JJ turns to me, "We can help you over or you can stay in the van."

"I'm going."

"Fuck, alright." JJ squats against the wall and pulls me over to use him as a step, "Pope don't let her fall."

He nods while he sits at the top of the wall, reaching down to grab my hands while pulling me upwards. I clumsily get to the top, then Pope jumps down, him and JJ help me drop to the other side. We run to the house to catch up with everyone. I watch as Sarah makes Wheezie go inside with Rose, as soon as I get to her, she grabs my hand and drags me with her to the dock.

"Let us through!" Sarah cries when a couple SBI officers try to block us.

"That's his daughter! Let them through!" Sheriff Shoupe commands.

We brush past them and run to the end of the dock where him and a couple SBI agents stand with rifles in hand. My eyes settle on Ward, he's on his boat about 20 or 30 feet away with the anchor down.

"Why don't you just come on in?" Shoupe yells, "Let me get some units out here by the point." He talks into his radio, before turning back to Ward, "Listen, buddy! I know you're upset."

"Dad!" 

"Sarah?" Ward turns and notices us now, causing tears to come to his eyes. "What are you doing here?" I wrap my arms around JJ, this is hard to watch, "Vic, you gotta get her out of here! They can't be here right now!" 

"Just come on in, and you... you... you can talk to her!" Shoupe tries to reason with him.

"Sarah, I'm so sorry baby. I can't!"

"What are you doing? Dad, no, no, no!" Sarah frantically cries when Ward presses the button to pull the anchor up.

"Willow, leave, this is dangerous."

I ignore the voice and continue to watch the commotion in front of me. 

"Ward, this ain't gonna end the way you want it to!" Shoupe screams, sirens blare from the police boats approaching us, "You don't need her seeing this."

Sarah looks extremely confused when she looks around in a daze, her eyes darting between the oncoming boats and her dads frantic behavior, "Dad, don't leave! Where are you going?" 

Ward climbs the stairs of the boat to the top deck, "I love you!" He screams in our direction before disappearing inside the cabin.

"Hey! Damn it, Ward!" Shoupe exclaims, "Get back over here."

"Dad! No!" Sarah sobs, "Please don't leave!" 

Fire erupts in front of us, heat smacking us square in the face after the My druthers explodes. 

JJs body wraps around me to block the debris that scatter the area, our screams fill the air while black smoke funnels towards the sky. I cling to him, the sounds around me turn into ringing in my ears, I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my chest as my body gives way.

I need to calm down, this stress isn't good for my baby. 

Sarah's devastated scream pierces through the ringing, bringing me back to my senses.

"No. No." Shoupe breathes out, "Holy shit."

"NO," Sarah's voice cracks, "NO DAD, NO."

JJ and I both grab ahold of Sarah, wrapping our arms around her when her legs give out, "We're here." I run my hand over her hair while tears run down my cheeks, "We've got you."

"DAD!" She clings to us while gasping for air, "NO."

We lower to the ground, keeping her head on my chest while she continues to scream in our arms. My heart shatters at the sounds coming from her, I know the pain of losing a parent and it kills me that she's hurting. JJ smooths her hair down a few times while I rub ger back, both of us trying to get her to catch her breath. 

She looks up at John B, but he doesn't do anything, his eyes stay glued to the scene in the water, his face settling into a satisfied expression, so I turn her face away from him and kiss her head, "You aren't alone, Sarah, you've got us. I love you... I love you."

"WHY?" Sarah reaches out in the direction of the fiery boat, "I CAN'T... I..."

"I know, honey, I know." I sob, my forehead rests on JJs arm next to her shoulder, "Don't look." 

A few minutes go by before footsteps bound down the dock, Topper drops to his knees, wrapping his arms around Sarah when JJ and I pull away, holding her when she collapses into his chest. 

Her sobs mix with the sounds of the boat melting and crackling. 

I kneel next to them, glancing back to see Kie and Pope crying, their faces mirror the same weakened expressions. This was too much, even for us, and that says a lot since we've been through a lot of emotional shit this summer. JJ watches me with concern in his eyes, his gaze flickering down to my belly every few seconds. He's right to worry, I feel pain right now and I know it isn't good. 

He helps me to my feet and holds me when I start to sob again. We both cradle my belly between us, the pain of the past few months events nipping at my brain, making me feel like the world is crushing me to the ground, causing pain to radiate across my belly again. 

"Ow." I cry out. 

JJ pulls away and looks down, "What's wrong?" He wipes my tears before reaching down and rubbing my belly.

"I'm cramping," I pant, "It's bad."

"Fuck fuck, okay," He frantically looks around, "What do we do?"

"I just.. need to sit down." I breathe out, "Please help me." 

Pope and JJ both hold onto my arms before lowering me to the ground, while everyone watches me with fearful expressions while I struggle to breathe.

"What's wrong?" Shoupe runs over and kneels in front of me, "Willow, what's happening?"

"My belly hurts, and my heart condition... I need to calm down." 

"Do you need an ambulance?"

"No, I want to go home." I try to stand up but pain radiates across my stomach again, I grit my teeth trying to hide how bad I feel, "Jay, take me home, please."

"Okay, Princess. Let's go." He hooks his arms under my armpits and lifts me up, Shoupe catches me when I stumble forward, "Shit, Willow." JJ grabs my elbows and walks behind me while I slowly make me way down the dock.

I frown when I look down at Sarah, she sniffles and weakly smiles at me, "I'll see you soon, okay? Go be with Wheezie, she's going to need you."

"O-Okay." 

"I love you." I sniffle.

"I love you too." She blubbers while Topper helps her stand, "You go rest, that baby needs to cook longer."

I let out a shaky laugh, "I will."

JJ guides me away, our friends and my moody brother following after us. I curl up in the back of the Twinkie and hide my face from everyone so they cant see the pain on my face while we silently drive home. 

~~~~~

Third Person POV

Rafe leans against the open patio door with tears in his eyes, his hand curled up against his chin as he holds back his emotions, Rose stands behind Wheezie's chair with tears streaming down her face while Sarah sits down in the chair directly in front of her laptop, the video of Ward's confession up on the screen. 

Ward sits in his office chair, his face pained as he starts his speech. 

"A great man once said that if you're born poor, that's not your fault, but if you die poor, well, that's on you. I think, in the end, it was my fear of going back, of losing everything I have that made me lose sight of everything I am...everything I wanted to be. I killed Big John Routledge. And I murdered Sheriff Peterkin," 

Rafe shakes his head as tears spill from his eyes, knowing he was the one who killer her, 

"I framed, Willow B Routledge, she had no part in Susan's murder, in fact, she tried to save her but I didn't allow that. I also shot Gavin Barnstead. I know there's nothing I can do to ease the pain I've caused. Many will say I took the easy way out." 

Sarah rubs Wheezie's back when she starts to quietly sob, holding her own tears back so she can be strong for her family, 

"But I leave this world with the terrible pain of knowing that I leave behind my family, shattered by grief, broken by my sins. I don't expect you to forgive me for leaving you this way. I just pray you understand that... I can't go on ruining your lives anymore. This had to end. To all of you, I leave my estate, uh, to be divided equally, and I leave a love deeper than I could ever express. Take care of each other. Goodbye."

Rafe clutches his glass of whiskey in his hand as he brings the rim to his lips, turning so he can leave the room, leave the pain behind him. Wheezie silently scurries off to her room, Rose following after her, while Sarah slams the laptop closed, bringing her knuckles to her lips when she starts to cry. 

~~~~~

Willow's POV

After we got home I made a beeline for my room and curled up in bed but every ten minutes it feels like a wave cascading through my uterus and across my belly.

"JAY."

I could hear shuffling and multiple footsteps coming my way, then the door flings open, JJ runs in and grabs my hands, "What what what?"

"Every.. every ten minutes," I gasp," contractions."

"Oh fuck," He looks back at everyone in the doorway, "Is it baby time?"

"It could be." Kie crosses the room, stopping to stand next to the bed.

"I don't know." I sob, "Call that midwife we met at the hospital before my arraignment."

JJ pulls his phone out and dials her number, pacing while he talks into the phone. Kie climbs onto the bed and sits behind me while rubbing my back.

He hangs up and sits back on the bed, "Okay, she's on her way."

I nod, then another contraction hits me, "OW, FUCK." I pull the blankets into my face to muffle my cries.

"Baby, what can I do?"

"Just be there for her, JJ." Kie softly tells him while she continues to rub my back.

"I'm right here, baby." He peels the blankets away from my face, "You're strong, you can handle this."

Everyone found places around the room and helped JJ encourage me through the pain.

When we heard a knock at the door John B took off and let my midwife, Dr. Yelma, in. She rushed to my side and started asking me questions while she checked for the babies heartbeat.  After a while my contractions died off, giving me some relief.

"I'm think this was false labor." Dr. Yelma feels my belly, "Also known as Prodromal labor. It can start happening everyday until you go into real labor."

"How long does this last until she goes into labor?" Pope asks, "And how do we know what's real and fake?"

"Well it's not technically fake, she will feel like she's in real labor, except she won't progress. So as long as her contractions don't start happening closer to each other, then its still false labor." She starts packing up her supplies, "Willow, you need to keep the stress down, baby needs another week at minimum to hopefully avoid a NICU stay."

JJ leans his hip against the side of the bed and runs his fingers through my hair, "Does this mean she's close though?"

Dr. Yelma nods, "Usually moms go into labor soon after prodromal labor starts. Though it can take weeks in some cases."

"I have to deal with this for days or weeks?" I ask in disbelief.

"Unfortunately, yes. But some believe that this makes labor easier, it's like your body is practicing."

"That sucks."

She laughs, "Just rest, the baby is worth the pain, I promise."

"I will, and thank you." I sit up, "I'll call you when the contractions are closer together."

"I want to be here when they are 5 minutes apart, so call me before then." She pats my shoulder and bids her goodbyes to everyone while walking out of the room. 

"Sorry for the false alert." I shakily laugh.

"She said it's like real labor pains, so it wasn't really a false alert." JJ caresses my face, "I was freaking out for a minute there."

"I know, me too."

"Think we all were." John B blows air out, "I need a beer, I'll be outside."

"Get some sleep, Willow." Pope calls out, following John B after waving at me. 

Kie crawls off the end of the bed, "Let me know if you need anything, Willow, I'm heading to bed." 

I smile, "I will, thank you." 

JJ shuts our door before stripping down to his boxers, "Cuddle time, Princess."

I laugh, pulling him close when he tucks himself into bed with me, "Sorry I scared you."

"Don't be, we will take it day by day, and maybe stop being around so much stress." 

I kiss his jaw, "At least we get to meet our little girl soon."

"I can't wait," He pulls me closer into his side, "I already love her so much."

"I do too." I yawn, "Jay, why did you say you have no where to live?"

He pinches his lips together, chewing on the inside of his cheek for a moment, "I don't know, I guess I feel like I'm intruding by being here sometimes, I know I'm welcome, but it's not my house."

"This is home for you, baby," I cup his cheek, "you're here every night. It's been this way for years." 

"I know, I'm sorry I said it." He runs his hands up and down my back, "You can tell me if you ever want space though, I can go to my dads."

"I want you here, this is where you're safe." 

"Okay okay." He chuckles, "This room is full of my stuff anyways. I've basically moved in at this point."

"Exactly, you'll need to be here when our daughter is here anyways so this is home for you now," I kiss his chest, "goodnight, Jay."

"Goodnight, Princess." He runs his fingers through my curls, lulling me to sleep.

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