9. The Trade

*Ellie's POV*

I don't know how it happened, but he got a kiss from me.

He just...kissed me. Just like that. I'm just sitting here like a statue and he just...

"Sorry," he says, when he stares back into my stare.

I shake my head. "N-No. It's fine."

"Well...what do you wanna do today? It's all you."

I look at the carpet my feet aren't touching, shaking my head. "Find my best friend."

"That's your mom's job," he says gently.

"She's not on the case. Connection to the victim."

"Then where is she?"

"SVU. Even if she's not on the case, she has to go her normal hours. If another victim comes up, she's the first one on that case," I explain to him.

Out of nowhere, he pulls me closer, in a hug. I don't know what to do at first, but something tells me to trust him.

I take a breath and let my bones relax a little.

"It's weird," I say. "I don't do much hugging. Or physical contact of any sort. But this...it's okay."

"You have to trust someone sometime," he replies.

We fall to silence. We sit like that for what feels like a very long time.

The interruption of that happens to be my phone ringing. A number I don't recognize is on the screen. I hit the "Ignore" button.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I never played the voicemail until after Logan left.

But when I did...oh, when I did...

I'm surprised I was able to get down here.

I know there must have been a crazed look on my face, because everyone jumps up with concern when I come through the door.

I'm not sure who asked me 'what's wrong', but all I have to do is unlock my phone, hit the 'speaker' option on my voicemail, and replay.

"Lucky that cop was there to get you out, huh? It really upset us you didn't hang around. Now, I'll cut you a deal. I know you miss your best friend. I'm sorry for that pain. But, how about this? I'll give her back, and she'll be safe, but...Ellie, I want you instead."

Shakily, I look up at my mom, my sight of her getting blurry with tears. "Mom," I manage.

I don't like crying in front of anyone, not even Mom or Amanda. But I don't care today.

She holds me tightly, protectively. I hear her whisper something to someone else, possibly everyone else, but I can't concentrate enough to listen. I focus on my mom holding me, her fingers around my head, keeping it against her chest. At some point, my phone is taken from me. Probably to trace the call and voicemail.

"El," she says, so, so gently. "Sit."

She tries to move. I know she'll be within ten feet of me until this guy is caught, but as soon and she releases me, I say, loudly like a little kid, "NO!"

"Okay, okay," she whispers into my ear. "Match me."

I feel her breathing slow down. Does every cop here know how to do this? I try my best to not have shaky breaths but it takes awhile. We stand there for about 15 minutes, listening to each other's breathing.

I draw back from her after those 15 minutes. My face feels hot and the ends of my short pieces of hair are wet with tears.

"Hey, Shorty," says Nick's calm voice. "Water."

He brings me two steps over to my mom's desk chair. He hands me a bottle of water and has a blanket from the room round-the-clock cops sometimes sleep in over his forearm. He shakes it so it unfolds and puts it over my shoulders. His hands linger for a second and tells me to be brave. "We're gonna fix this," he says.

I nod, knowing I can't do anything else but trust them, even if I really don't want to.

I want my mom to sit with me but Cragen takes her into his office. Amanda sits next to me instead, holding my hand as I watch the office door.

*Olivia's POV*

As soon as the door closes, I say almost angrily, "I will not allow any use of my daughter as bait."

"I wasn't going to ask you to. I would never allow it," he says incredulously. "You think I would put a 14 year old girl I've known since the day she was born in that kind of danger?"

I shake my head. "I just don't know what to do. He's watching her, Cragen." A realization of something crosses my mind. My eyes widen. "Cragen," my voice is growing weak. "She walked here. He could be following her."

"No, he's not, Liv. Calm down."

I yell back, "Calm down?! That's my daughter!"

"Whom you do not want to scare by yelling."

I rub my temples.

"I need a minute," I say, walk out of his office, and out of the precinct.

I don't even look in the vicinity of Ellie.

*Ellie's POV*

Amanda is still sitting with me, watching to make sure I don't break down. Most detectives have gone back to paperwork, but none of them look very focused. Nobody is focused when we all hear:

"CALM DOWN? THAT'S MY DAUGHTER!"

...and Mom storming out.

Amanda hugs me briefly and goes off to follow her. Cragen is standing in the doorway of his office and looks at me. I just look down.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I hear. It makes me jump, just like the first outburst did.

When Amanda comes back, I'm almost tempted to go out there, because I know she wouldn't yell at me like that. But then again, she might. She's never been like this.

She sits down again.

"She'll be approachable in an hour or two," I say very quietly.

"Well, you fight with her more than any of us," Amanda jokes.

I force a smile. It disappears quickly.

"Detectives. We just got new information about the call. Rollin-" Cragen pauses, looking at me. "Munch, go with Fin and see what's up."

"Amanda can go. I don't mind," I say.

"Lil, I'm making her stay for a reasons other than you. She's got...important paperwork to finish."

I give up. "Fine. Whatever." I make sure it's in a very teenager-y attitude.

"I can't have both of you not on my side," Amanda says. "What's up?"

"I'm being babied. I don't like it."

"What does that-"

"When something is clearly about me," I interrupt, "I don't like when I'm not told things. For my protection or whatever. I don't need to be kept ignorant."

The adults all look at each other.

"We'll tell you things when we find them out, okay?" Cragen tells me.

"Fine," I say, trying to make it sound lighthearted.

Mom comes back in the room and I can tell she had no plan on what to say. Or maybe her plan was to say nothing. She comes over by me and hugs my shoulders.

"So what do we do about this?" Amanda asks.

"I definitely think you should be put up in a hotel tonight. We'll have a cop stationed outside the hotel and at your house when you go get clothes and stuff tonight," Cragen says. "You all have to work now, but she's staying here until you are off."

I look up at Mom. She nods to Cragen's words.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Today is uneventful yet again. But they've decided to talk to whoever the man who has Ashley is.

Who they're using as bait, I don't know. I just know it isn't me.

Fin and Rollins follow us on our way home to get clothes and toiletries. Mom doesn't want me going in just as much as I don't want to, so I run to switch cars while she's inside. They both turn to face me.

"You're gonna be fine, Bud," Fin says.

"I know," I whisper.

"Then why do you look like you're gonna pass out?"

"It's kind of hard not to when someone who may or may not have killed your best friend wants to-"

"You can't think about it, Babydoll." She reaches back to touch my arm or hand or whatever. Just so I know she's there.

"What am I supposed to do when I've got nothing better to do?"

"Let us do our jobs. You got school tomorrow, right?"

I nod. Then it hits me: "How am I gonna-"

"We'll get you there and back. You're not walking," Fin assures me.

"What if he shows up on campus?"

They look at each other. "Baby," Amanda says, "if he does, you won't know. The best you can do is not get caught alone. But you're safe. No matter what. You have to trust us. I know that's difficult for you and your mother both."

I nod once more. And I see Mom come out of the apartment building.

*Olivia's POV*

That night, we're given a two-bed, one room hotel. She gets in bed right away, but doesn't go to bed unless I'm sitting there, holding her hand.

It doesn't matter if she fell asleep or not, because while I'm still up at 1 AM watching her, I start hearing a cry.

I stay in my bed, knowing she won't like of I'm right at her side. She shifts and I see sweat on her forehead. Not again.

It's a little while before she wakes up, but she doesn't scream. She gasps loudly, sits up, and takes in her surroundings. Then, I hear a sniffle.

"Mom?"