t h i r t y - o n e

After my cake everyone left swiftly. I was forced to say goodbye to each person and give them all a hug just before they stepped out the front door. I hated saying bye because everyone acted like you talk to them everyday when in reality I hadn't talked to the majority of them since my birthday party from the previous year.

I thought Jack would insist on staying but he told me he had to meet his friend at the pub and basically ran down the drive to his car and drove away, deliberately making loud motor noises.

When I finally got to shut the front door I raced upstairs before my dad could stop me. I felt evil for making Niall wait in my room for the entire party, evil evil evil.

"Hey, how was the party?" he asked me in a completely non-mad voice when I opened my door and walked in. He was sat on my bed scrolling through what looked like his camera role but I couldn't tell for certain.

"Boring," I sighed and dropped down on the bed next to him. My body tipped back and I collapsed onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. I felt the bed dip a tiny bit and when I turned my head I found Niall had laid down next to me and was looking at the ceiling. My head turned to look at him but when he looked back at me out of the corner of his eye I snapped my head back to looking at the ceiling and he laughed.

"Is my face really that handsome that you have to look away?"

I scoffed, "More like that ugly that I have to look away."

"Nah ah," he said and I saw his head turn again from the corner of my eye, "Your just not over me yet so you don't want to admit it that I'm the most attractive man in the world cause that would make it awkward."

I turned my head so we were both looking at each other, "So I'm not over you but your over me?"

"I never said I was over you," he said with a smirk. He was making it impossible to read him and I hated it. I could always know what he was thinking, or at least make a very good guess, but somehow it was proving incredibly difficult.

"So you aren't over me?"

"I never said that either."

I frowned but he just laughed because clearly winding me up was amusing him.

"Let's say I'm not over you, would you tell me why you were such a dick?" I asked.

"Sure."

"I'm not over you," I said quickly.

"Ahh but I know that's a lie because you only said that cause you want to know the answer to your annoying question," he said, smirking again. He had a point. I had said it in such an unbelievable way that he was bound not to trust me. And the fact that I was dating someone else was a clear representation that I was over him. But the truth was, I wasn't over him, I wasn't even close to being over him.

"Well my question wouldn't be so annoying to you if you just told me the answer," I burst out, suddenly angry because he'd reminded me that he'd still not answered my why he'd said he didn't care about me.

He sighed and turned his head back to looking at the ceiling. I scowled and racked my brain on how to get him to tell me because I'd had enough of waiting.

"Niall."

His head turned towards me once again but I stayed staring at the ceiling, refusing to look into his beautiful blue eyes that I loved so so so much.

"Ni."

"What?" he asked me but I ignored him.

"Nialler."

"What?" he asked again but once again, I ignored him.

"Ni Ni. Niiiiiall," I paused for a second and then said in a very quiet voice, "Babe."

And then suddenly Niall's face was above mine and his breathing was heavy and so was mine and he smelt so damn good and his mouth was open slightly and his hair was fluffy and those magical blue eyes were staring right into mine, deep into my soul. 

"Hi," I whispered but my voice nearly got stuck in my throat because of how beautiful he looked.

"What are you doing?" he asked me. His voice was rough and demanding.

"This," I lifted my head up and locked my lips onto his without thinking twice. My plan was that he was going to pull away and he'd tell me the answer to my question but my plan didn't work. He didn't pull away, instead he pulled me closer and kissed me hard. I knew he was sad by the way he kissed me. It was completely different to how he used to kiss me. It was hard and rough and rushed and like he thought at any second he would be pulled off and locked away from me forever.

I shook my head and forced his lips off mine that I knew had gone more pink than before.

"What?" he asked and leant in again but when I moved away he drew back with a sad expression on his face.

"You were meant to pull away just then! You were meant to stop me from kissing you and tell me the answer to my question!" I said in an annoyed voice.

"Hey, don't get annoyed at me now! How was I meant to know that?"

"Because..." I tried to think of an excuse but there wasn't a decent one. 

"Lily you kissed me."

"Yeah only cause you put me under some weird ass spell when you were bending over me!" I protested but I knew I was talking shit.

"Oh shut up!" he shouted, "You are such a baby sometimes! Why can you not just admit to the things you've done wrong instead of blaming it on other people?"

I clenched my jaw even though I wasn't angry. I didn't blame my mistakes on other people, I blamed them on Niall. I never meant to but it was easy to blame him.

"Sorry," he said, his voice changing from loud to quiet in seconds.

"Me too," I said back my voice even quieter than his.

Niall stood up and walked across the room to his jacket that I hadn't even noticed was on the floor in silence. He dug around in the pocket for a few seconds before pulling out a small present wrapped in dark purple wrapping paper. There was a small sliver ribbon around it that was tied in a bow on top. 

"Happy Birthday," he said when he handed it to me. There was a small label on the top that said L :) on but that was all, "Open it when I've left yeah?"

"Ok," I said and put it down gently on my pillow but when I looked back up Niall was already walking out the door, "Where are you going?"

He turned to me, "You've moved on and I need to as well."

"Wait Niall, we can be friends," I said hopefully. He didn't say anything, he just smiled sadly, "Can't we?"

He shook his head gently, "I'm sorry."

My feet wouldn't move as I watched Niall walk away from me. They stayed glued to the floor right up until I heard the front door shut. I sprinted down the stairs and threw open the door. The cold stones of the driveway hurt my feet because I was only wearing socks but I didn't care.

"Niall!" I shouted as I heard his car engine turn on. I reached the end of the drive just as he was pulling away from the pavement.

"I don't need to know the answer to my question!" I shouted but he didn't hear, "We can be friends, it would work I promise you!"

But his car didn't stop and I stood on the cold, damp pavement as I watched the Mercedes 4matic drive away from my house. I watched it all the way until it turned the corner at the end of the road and I even stayed stood outside when it had disappeared.

"I love you," I whispered to Niall but he wasn't there to hear it. If only he was and he would've known that I wasn't over him, that I would never be over him.

---------

My present from Niall was sat, waiting for me when I went back to my room after standing outside for a good 10 minutes. The purple box stared at me as I sat down on my bed and wondered whether to open it. It was fairly small but that didn't mean it wouldn't be a good gift.

I sighed and snatched the box up from my pillow before I over thought it and tore off the wrapping paper and ribbon. I took the lid off the box to reveal, of course, a note. It wasn't long like notes I'd received from him previously. It was short and got to point.

Thanks for the adventure of a life time. Stay smiling, always. Love Niall x

Underneath the note was a small package wrapped in purple tissue paper. I took it out the box and unwrapped it carefully in case it was fragile. I was met with a ring. It was just plain black with no decoration on the outside. As I lifted up nearer my face though I noticed silver writing on  the inside that shone when it hit the light. Curly Wurly it said. I thought for a second about why it said that and then I remembered Niall calling me it though out the entire month of December when I was staying with him at his parents house. Anyone who wasn't me or Niall would presume he was talking about the chocolate bar but we both new it was a nickname he'd given me.

Tears brewed in my eyes and fell from my cheeks down into the box that was in my lap, making the tissue paper wet. Maybe I just wasn't meant to be with Niall. Maybe he wasn't the love of my life like I thought he was. Maybe I needed to get over him and just move on with my life.