t h i r t y

The party felt like it was going on forever. Everyone seemed to be pissing me off with every little thing they did, even my grandma who I never ever had gotten mad at before. She'd asked me what was wrong and I just yelled at her, "It's none of your damn business Gran!" and marched out the room and went out to sit in my garden where I always used to go whenever I had to get away from my mum because she told me off.

"Lily?" Summer's small, 7 year old voice, said from behind me. I looked around and spotted her stood in the doorway in a blue dress with yellow flowers off. She was so beautiful it was crazy, and she was only 7.

"Yeah," I said blankly. She was the only person at my party who hadn't pissed me off yet.

Summer was my dad's best friend's daughter and I'd known her since she was 1 day old. I used to spend a lot of time with her when she was a baby and a toddler, every weekend my dad and I would go round to her house and I'd play with her while my dad chatted with her dad.

"You don't seem very happy," she stated and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her.

"I'm fine," I lied with a sigh.

"No your not," she said and sat on a chair in front of me.

"Summer I'm fine ok," my voice went loud unintentionally and I saw her jump because I'd never raised my voice at her. I shut my eyes for a quick second and took a deep breathe, "Sorry. Come here," I patted my lap and she jumped off her chair and climbed onto me. She weighed so much more than she did when she was younger and it made me sad because she was basically my little sister and she was growing up so freaking fast.

"It's ok," she turned to look at me, "Boy problems huh?"

I chuckled at her, "How did you know?"

"Because I've got a boyfriend so I know all about it," she said confidently.

"What? You didn't tell me you had a boyfriend! Does your mum know?"

She nodded, "His mummy and my mummy are friends. Daddy knows as well."

"I can't believe you told everyone but me!" I pretended to cry and she laughed.

"Lily stop it!" she giggled when I bought my hands to my eyes to act like I was wiping away tears, "I guess I won't tell you his name then."

"No! No! Tell me tell me tell me," I wobbled my legs and she squealed when she nearly fell off. Of course I would never let her fall off but it was fun to mess with her and watch her have fun.

"His name is Joe and he's really nice and he gave me a flower yesterday at the end of the day before Mummy came and picked me up from school. And he has brown hair and green eyes and his school shoes have really cool flashing lights on them that come on when he jumps..." Summer talked about Joe for a good 3 minutes. She explained to me how they were completely in love and were getting married on Monday. When she finally stopped she saw me smiling at her, "What?"

"Nothing," I said but I felt tears starting to form behind my eyes. She noticed.

"Is your boyfriend not nice?" she asked, innocently.

"No he is, I just..." I didn't want to tell her because being 7 she was very likely to just run back into the house and tell everyone.

"You can tell me, I can keep secrets," she made an action like she was zipping her mouth shut and I chuckled. She looked at me with big eyes, waiting patiently for me to speak.

"Promise," I raised an eyebrow at her and she nodded, "I don't love him," I admitted.

"That's ok," she said comfortingly and leant into my body. She tried her best to wrap her small arms around me. She failed but she still squeezed me as hard as she was able and I let the tears fall gently from my eyes and trickle down my cheeks.

"You just have to find someone who you do love," she said into my chest before she went back to sitting normally and saw I was crying. I didn't realize she was wiping my tears away for my until she scratched me lightly with her nail and said, "Don't cry, it's your birthday."

I forced a smile, "I know, and we should probably go back inside. It's probably time for cake don't you think?"

"Yay, cake!" she shouted excitedly and jumped off my lap, forgetting that I had been crying just seconds previously. I laughed and scooped her up from the patio just as she was about to step inside. She screamed when I pretended to drop her and I laughed at how dramatic she was, "I could have died if you'd not done that right!" 

She'd put me in a much better mood and when we entered the living room I plopped her down on the sofa and went to my grandma who was stood near the wine rack holding a cheese sandwhich.

"Hey Grandma," I said softly.

"Your dad's looking for you," she said without looking at me. I knew she was annoyed at me because she'd never spoken me to that way before.

"Oh Gran c'mon. I'm sorry I yelled at you I just... I was in a bad mood and pissed at everyone but I'm fine now."

"Sudden mood changes eh? You get that from me my dear," she said, suddenly not mad at me anymore. I smiled and pulled her in for a hug, taking in her unique scent that made me calm.

"I love you Grandma," I said, still hugging her. 

She stroked my hair, soothingly, "I love you too darlin."