22 "brain damage"

My bare feet ran across the pavement of the hospital. I scuffled inside as fast as I could. My hands stopped myself from sliding across the floor as I then slammed into the front desk. "I'm looking for uh.. Dutton. Yeah. Where is Duttons room?"

"She's not taking any visitors right now. She's not awake" the front desk nurse spoke. "She?" Monica was hurt. Not Casey parts of me is saying thank god. Suddenly I hear screaming from down the hall. Multiple nurses fill the waiting room with commotion following their entry. I had a gut feeling it was my business. I squeezed through the gathered around strangers as the drama continued. Multiple nurses grappled Tate onto the waiting room carpet. Their hands were rough and aggressive. Too aggressive to calm a distraught little boy. "Hey! Get off him! He's with me! Please! He's with me!" I shoved the female nurse away from the boy. "You need to get him out of here if he's going to act like that!" The doctors alerted the quiet hospital. Tate gripped my waist as he clung to me like a terrified cat. "I understand. I'm sorry sir. I'm sure you understand why he's acting like this!" I hugged Tate tightly as the doctor watched my body move. His eyes shifted with sympathy. "That looks infected. You need to keep that clean" the doctor spoke as he pointed to the burn on my hip. I closed my Jacket on myself as the man recognized the brand. He was judging me very casually. "The fuck is going on!?" Casey shouted. "Why is my son crying! I want answers!"

"I think you rednecks need to leave this hospital as soon as possible you've been here much too long" the doctor held up calming palms. Casey's face grew red, the veins in his neck were swollen. Casey's fingers grappled the doctors scrub shirt out of rage. "Casey! Enough!" I yanked his finger apart from the doctor. "I'm going to press charges Casey! If you don't leave I will have you in handcuffs! You pick" the doctor debated. "Let's go Casey! Parking lot! Come on!" I demanded as I pushed him in the direction of the glass sliding doors. I held tates hand as we led his father to fresh air. "Tate why don't you get in my truck. I have four pieces of gum. If you listen to me now you can eat all four and blast the radio" I yanked open my rusted truck door as his small figure crawls in. As per usual I slammed the door shut for a proper lock. I then Placed my hands on my hips as I leaned back on my thumping truck door, to watch Casey pull hairs out of his head as he paced the parking lot. I gave him a minute to breathe before asking questions. His face was still red, not from rage, not from anger, but from hysteria. I slipped my jacket off to cover the window of tates side of the truck. I wandered closer to the bed of the truck where I leaned and waited for Casey to distress a teeny bit. Once he did so he shuffled over to the bed of the truck. He hunched over the tailgate then took a deep breath. "She was assaulted by a high schooler...fucked her up so bad..they fucking drilled her fucking skull apart man...fuck!" His voice cracked ready to sob, and he did. He covered his face with shame as the water works flooded. He was broken. He was so damaged beyond repair. His heart was caving in. "She'll be okay... she's real smart. The doctors here are amazing... she'll be just fine.. I'll take Tate for the night. You get some rest. Your eyes are bloodshot and your skin is puffy. You look pale. Get some sleep. Or try to anyways okay? Tate doesn't need to see you in the state you're in" I rubbed Casey's arm as he sulked against the hunk of rust. "I'm sorry wills. For everything I've done to you... I should've came back sooner... I should've listened to your pleads. I'm sorry"

"This ain't about me. Were you listening to me at all?"

Casey nods swiftly. "Every word Willow. Im just trying to say thank you. Thank you" his arms draped against my small body. He held me in a deep warm embrace I wasn't used to. I peeled away from him. "I should probably feed and get your spawn to bed" Casey looked down at my dress with a soft smile. "Ma wore that to a Christmas party when I was 6. She made it. Dad was blown away when he saw her in it. Bought her pearls that went with that dress perfectly. It fits you perfectly...other than...that" Casey scoffed as he placed his finger against the large tare against the wound. "If dad sees that fucking thing on you he's gonna-"

"Oh he knows... all too well"

Casey watched me with a frown "what did he do to you?"

"Nothing"

"Yet"

"Yeah.. yet"

.....

"Is my dad okay?" Tate questioned as I poured him a glass of milk at the counter. "Of course he's okay. He just misses your mom. Like you do. Your dad just needs time to gather his thoughts"

"Is my mom going to die?"

I placed a small plate of cookies infront of him. "No your mamas not gonna die! Don't talk like that. She just needs some rest. Her head hurts. Just has a big ol head ache"

"Mmm" Tate huffed as he devoured the entire plate of cooks I left in front of him. "Is it my fault my dad is stressed?" I shook my head as I leaned my elbows on the kitchen counter in front of him. "Not a chance. Your old man is just stressed that he can't take away your mom's head ache. He will be back to himself in no time at all"

"I guess so" he sighed as he sipped his glass of milk. "Papa said that the horse you got from my dad is mine now"

"Is that so?"

Tate nodded "sh-yeah!" I smiled softly. "Then I guess it's yours. I'll look after him while you're gone deal?"

"Deal!!"

"You know. That horse needs a name. I ain't ever named it"

"Hmm... did you ever think of a name?"

"Some. But I'm sure not as good as your names. What's your idea?"

"Bird!" Tate shouts. "Bird?" I laughed . "Yeah bird! Cause he's fast as hell!"

"Bird huh?" I laughed again. "Black bird?" "Well duh. He's black"

"Silly me" I smiled as I placed his plate into the sink. "What's going on here?" My father spoke as he entered from outside. I hung my head with shame as he entered the room. I didn't make eye contact I just held back on speaking to him for as long as I could. "Eating cookies!" Tate smiled wide. "Cookies? Isn't it your bedtime?" "No. I'm having fun"

"Where's your old man?"

"He's out. He's resting. Hey why don't you head to my room and get ready for bed?"

"Fine! Fine!  I'll be waiting for a story!" He demanded. "You got it kid" my father responded with a small laugh following his exit. The room got heavy as the young boy departed. The room was Silent. It became cold. I was shaking a bit at my hands. I began to wash out tates milk glass with my boney shakey fingers.  "Are you going to tell me what's going on and why he's here?" I heard my father slam his hat down on the counter to surface. "Monica was assaulted by a high schooler.  He caused brain damaged so she's in critical condition. I was asked to take Tate for awhile while Casey recovered from his"

"He trusts you with a child?"

"Of course he does. I'm sure he trusts me more than you. Or anyone else of that matter"

"Does he know you killed a man?"

"It was self defense" I mumbled under my breath. "I don't care what it was Willie. You didn't tell me. Who covered it up?"

"I don't want to talk to you about this daddy. Just drop it please" I begged.

"I need to know-"

"I'm gonna go check on Tate.."

"Willie!"

Nervously, I hugged myself. " I don't know who covered it up exactly. All I know is he was hurting me for a really long time... I didn't think anything of it because I truly thought he loved me..." I leaned my back against the countertop as I hung my head to avoid my father's wrath. " all I know is I told rip... he was the only person I ran to.." my voice was shaking very hard as I was reliving the moment in my head. " I'm sorry. I just knew I couldn't come to you about it."

" you should've came to me when he hurt you the first time"

I let out a chuckle that was made up of pure distraught " no I couldn't you know I couldn't! You probably would've blamed me for it! You would've told me I deserved it! And you know it too! I couldn't even come to you for a new pair of shoes!!" I shouted with anger in my voice. " I killed a man and I did the consequences and branded myself. You were going to do it to me anyways if you found out. You know it... I just did it in a more nice way than you ever could.."

" that's not true you knew that you could come to me about anything"

"Bullshit!! Daddy! Bullshit!"My father watched me very puzzled as I've never raised my voice to him before. I never swore in front of him. Not usually. I rarely spoke to him to begin with. " remember when I beat up that girl when I was 15? Do you remember what you told me? That was the moment I knew I couldn't come to you... hell, I knew I couldn't come to you when you whacked me across the face when I was just a child! You remember what for!? Do you!?" Began to cry yet still trying to hold it back. "...."

" answer me daddy!! do you remember what you hit me for?"

"....a frog in the house"

" no!! You hit me for crying! Because you stomped on an innocent animal!! You smacked me for laughing, and having fun!! I was just an innocent girl"

" that doesn't matter now-"

"Yes it does daddy!! There are so many things that has happened to me in my entire childhood, that I couldn't imagine telling you about... I couldn't tell you a single thing... I still can't... never will... just because I can't... now if you excuse me, I'm gonna go check on my nephew" I dragged my palms across my cheeks as I wiped away my draining mascara. Before leaving the kitchen, my father spoke my name. I froze in my footsteps as I listened for the evil words I'm sure he was going to say. " You look beautiful in that gown.... You look identical to your mother... although I wish you didn't dye your hair.."

" that was almost a compliment, daddy... so close, but so far"

....