34: HOPE

34: HOPE

***R O S É

"Thank you for the ride." I gave Chanyeol a small smile and he only nodded in return.

I pouted as he turn his back on me. The guy that always appear in my dream is as warm as the sun but Chanyeol is different, he seems to be cold like an ice towards me.

"You said you love me!" I shouted and it made him pause from walking away. "You love me but you're giving up on me just like that?"

"You're better without me chipmunk.." that nickname.. it warmed up my heart.

"You think?" I asked sarcastically. "Are you in my shoes to tell me if I'm better without you or not?!"

He didn't answer.

I laugh but the pain is etched on my laughter. "Then give up. I don't care if you do because I won't!"

I heave a deep breath and he tilted his head to peek at my serious face. My lips curved into a small challenging smirk.

"I won't give up on you. Keep pushing me away but I'll continue messing with your life." I continue..

"Why?" He asked in a raspy deep voice.

"I know you know the answer to your question." I know that you know I love you Chanyeol but I won't give you the satisfaction of hearing that.

He heave a deep breath as he shook his head. I watched him as he walk towards his motorcycle and drove away.

Just wait and see Chanyeol.. I'll break your walls.

***C H A N Y E O L

I wish I could go on being like this to her. Cold hearted and guarded but I know.. if she ever get any more closer to me, I'll be the one to bend my own principles.

Rosé is my weakness.

I heave a deep breath as I enter our exo dorm. I wished no one was here tonight because we all have our different condo units and home but then I ran out of luck I guess because Suho Hyung and Sehun are here with Jongin.

Good thing they are drinking soju when I got here. I also have a bag of soju that I bought from the market on my way to here.

"Hyung." Sehun is the first to notice me so I sat besides him.

I don't want to sleep on my condo unit because of my neighbor.. Rosé's been running on my mind and now, her words seems to knock a crack on the walls that I putted around my heart so that I could stay away from her.

I open a bottle of soju and drunk it while my three members stared at me. Suho Hyung spoke, "is there anything wrong Yeol?"

"Nothing's right." I sighed.

I love Rosé. I love her with all my heart that I feel like dying when I saw her fighting for her life three years ago. Damn it! I almost lost my mind while looking at her pale face and her blood.. I just knew I would never forgive myself for being the reason why that happened to her.

I pulled my hair out of frustration while my members are just looking at me. Contemplating what they would say but I rather them stay silent.

"Hyung.." Jongin spoke, "is this about Rosé? Did you meet her? Did she finally recognize you?"

"She's my neighbor.. and she still doesn't remember me but she recognized me.." I answered. "She already know who I am in her life."

Unlike three years ago when I walk in her room and she stared at me with a confuse eyes as if looking at a stranger that she hadn't know.

*** Flashback

I just woke up from an hour of sleep because my phone is ringing loudly. I stayed at the hospital inside Rosé's room and I wouldn't leave even though Jisoo doesn't want me around. I stayed there to watch my chipmunk and waited for her to wake up while doing my best to make sure that the crazy Sasaeng and her psychopath Mother stays in the mental hospital forever. I only went to the dorm last night to find a new set of clothes to bring but then I fell asleep for an hour because I haven't slept one bit at the hospital.. Rosé might wake up in the middle of the night and I don't want to be asleep when she open her eyes.

I want her to see me smiling at her and reassuring her that she will be alright.

Kim Kai calling...

("Hyung! Where are you?! Rosé's finally awake!")

I quickly ended the call to run inside my car. I started the engine and drove fast towards the hospital.

After all the wait.. my chipmunk is finally awake!

I run inside the hospital and feel my heart beating fast and loud. I feel like the heavy burden that has been on my chest has lifted when I open her room and saw her smiling at Jisoo and Lisa.

She looks beautiful with her cute smile that I can't help but smile as well. Lisa noticed me and call my name. "Chanyeol Oppa! You're here!"

Rosé's head tilted to look at me but I notice that her smile slightly faltered. I was ready to walk towards her and enveloped her inside my arms but I saw her brows furrowed confusedly.

I paused as I watch her stare at me as if she is looking at a stranger.

"Lisa.. who is he?"

I feel like my knees weakened at her question. She.. she is joking right?

"Chipmunk.." my voice crack.

"Ah!" Then she whimpered in pain as she massaged her temple. "Unnie! My head hurt!"

"I'll call the doctor!" Jisoo glared at me and held me tight on my arms to pulled me out of Rosé's room.

"I don't know what's happening to Rosé but I think it's more good for her when you're not around." She said in an ice-cold tone.

"Ahhh! Ackk!" I can still here my Chipmunk's whimpers of pain. "Unnie!!"

Jisoo run to call the doctor and I waited outside Rosé's room. I waited even though I feel really tired. I waited even though I know that the news that awaits me will make my world to crumble into pieces.

"The Doctor said Rosé has a selective amnesia." Lisa said to me.

"Amnesia?" does that mean..

Lisa nodded with a mixed expression of sadness and pity as she look at me. "The doctor said she still have most of her memory but.. her brain forced herself to block all the parts of that traumatic event that she experienced."

I can't help but stumble on the floor as I rested my back on the wall. "I caused her that trauma didn't I?"

"It's the Sasaeng's fault Chanyeol." Lisa answered.

"It's my Sasaeng." I said as I stared at the wall blankly. "I caused my chipmunk that trauma and now she forgot about me."

What a punishment..

But even so.. I still tried to get near her. I tried to introduce myself to her. But everytime I did.. her head always aches. She even passed out. And whenever she woke up the next morning, she would forgot all about me again.

That I just resort to just watch her from afar for the past three years.

***End of Flashback

"If she already recognize you.. then why don't you try again?" Suho Hyung said.

I downed another bottle of Soju and laugh sarcastically. "And then what? Cause her pain again?"

"Pain is a part of being inlove. You felt pain because you love. If it's not painful then is it love? Because love is not all about happiness Hyung." Jongin ponder deeply.

I stared at him blankly.

"Just think like this Hyung." Sehun started.. "are you happy now that you are pushing Rosé away? Is she happy that you are pushing her away?"

I shook my head.

"Then you are causing her pain just by merely not being with her." Our maknae said.

I heave a deep sighed.

"Don't you think this is now your second chance? Finally.. after three years, Rosé recognized you." Suho Hyung stared at me. "Are you gonna let this chance slipped Chanyeol?"

Why is my love life our topic for tonight? But.. I guess all their words to me somehow wake my senses up.

Jongin patted my shoulder. "If you're not gonna move now then someone will stole your chipmunk away from you. Do you want that to happen Hyung?"

I clenched my fist and I heard Suho Hyung laugh.

"I heard there's a lot of idols who have a crush on her.. BTS Jungkook and Got7 Mark are both obvious."

"She only love me." I said possessively. "I will make sure that she will love me again because.. she loved me before."

Sehun smirk. "Then I'll support you Hyung."

"We'll support you Hyung!" Jongin cheered.

"Just tell us what you need and we'll be one call away to help." Suho Hyung smiled.

I thanked them and look at the night sky through the glass wall of our dorm. I saw a shooting star slide down the dark sky and I close my eyes.

I hope you'll atleast remember to love your Yoda.. Chipmunk.

***

(A/N: Chapter 35 would be the last chapter and then the epilogue ;) I feel a mixture of happiness and sadness that we are finally closer to the ending of the story!

I know it takes long for me to update and I appreciate you guys for waiting for my every update. Thank you all for the votes, reads, for following me on my watty account and for adding this story on your reading lists.

Let's all be safe and stay healthy. Take care of yourselves! Lovelotsss<3)