26

"w-what?" jimin asked, voice cracking.

jin didn't respond, he just nodded, more tears rolling down his cheeks.

at that, jimin broke. all of the happiness he felt lately, his love with joon, his new kitten, none of that mattered.

nothing mattered anymore.

"i-" jimin was trying to think of something to say, but he couldn't. words weren't forming in his head correctly.

"h-he's okay physically," jin said, still crying, "but he's in the hospital."

"w-why- h-how could he do that?"

"i-i don't know. i was just chilling at home a-and i got a call a-and it was the hospital and they... they said-" jin broke down and began sobbing. he was talking frantically and shaking, "they found him unconscious in his apartment," jin said, sobbing and covering his face with his hand.

tears rolled down jimin's cheeks.

they were both silent. it remained that way for what felt like hours. jimin was just going over everything in his head. he started rethinking their old conversations and everything that happened between them. what lead up to him wanting to end his life.

"so... he- he wants to die?" jimin asked, voice cracking.

"i-i guess so-" jin said, whipping his face off and trying to calm down.

"he was gonna... he was gonna leave me?" jimin asked, more tears streaming down his face.

"i don't know what's going on, jimin. i-it's my fault. i shouldn't have told you not to call him the other day. if i was just a good friend and was there for him this never would have happened," jin said, sniffling.

"n-no," jimin said, more tears streaming down his face, "it's my fault. i-i rejected him. he's always loved me and cared about me and-and i never appreciated it. i-i was a terrible friend," jimin said, sobbing and falling into jin's arms.

the both of them just stood there, hugging and crying. minutes passed until jimin broke away, frantically.

"we-we have to go see him. he- he needs us. we have to talk to him," jimin said, grabbing his sweatshirt from the coat rack.

"i- do you think that's a good idea?" jin asked.

"what? of course it is. he's our best friend and he wants to die. he tried to fucking kill himself, jin. we need to be there for him," jimin said, angrily, tears coming back to his eyes.

jin hated that side of jimin. he got very angry and he would lash out, but jin knew it only came out when jimin was hurting.

"i know, but look at us. we're a mess. it won't be good for him to see us like this," jin said, tears still rolling down his face.

"i don't care. i gave him space last time and you see how that went? i'm leaving, let's go," jimin said, walking out the door, passed jin.

-

the boys made it to the hospital after a long and silent drive. they walked in and quickly got some visitors passes, heading to hoseok's room.

they got to the door of the room. it was closed and neither of them heard anything coming from the inside.

standing outside the door, everything was becoming a lot more real.

"i-" jimin had his hand hovering over the handle, struggling to go inside.

"jimin, are you-"

"i'm fine," jimin said, wiping his tears and turning the knob.

when the two of them walked in, they stopped in their tracks. hoseok was just laying there. he had a lifeless look in his eyes, just staring at the wall in front of him.

"guys?" hoseok asked, turning to them with concern.

the both of them were silent for a moment. seeing their best friend in that state was beyond traumatizing.

jin was trying to keep his cool, watching as jimin completely snapped.

"how could you do that?" jimin asked, raising his voice, "how could you leave me? i love you. i need you here. you're one of the only things i have," jimin said, tears running down his cheeks.

"i'm-"

hoseok looked broken. even more broken than he had when they walked in.

"why? why would you just want to leave? i don't understand. did what we have just mean nothing to you?" jimin asked, sobbing. his face was bright red and puffy, trying to calm down.

"jimin, i love you. i love you more than anythi-"

"stop. if you loved me you wouldn't want to just leave me. not like that-" jimin said.

jin quickly grabbed jimin's arm, watching as tears steamed down both jimin and hoseok's face.

"jimin stop. just go," jin said.

he watched the anger leave jimin's face and sadness replace it as he walked out of the room.

once jimin was gone, jin walked over and hugged hoseok tightly, letting him cry into his shoulder.

"jin, i'm so sorry," hoseok said, crying, "i messed everything up. i always mess everything up."

"shhhh. you didn't do anything, hobi. it's not your fault. you shouldn't have to feel this bad all the time, okay? you just need to learn to deal with it the right way."

"i-i don't know what else to do, jin. i tried everything-" hoseok broke away, wiping his face off.

"hobi, do you really want to die?"

hoseok sat there for a minute, thinking over the question.

"n-no," he said, shaking his head and looking down, starting to cry all over again.

"we talked about this, hobi. you told me that you'd come to me if you started feeling like that again."

"i know, i know. it was just- it was christmas and everything went to shit and i just wanted to be done with it. i just- i took some pills. it was stupid. i wasn't even thinking about how i would hurt you or jimin. i'm so sorry."

"you know what my mom always told me?" jin asked, running his fingers through hoseoks hair.

"w-what?" hoseok asked, sniffling.

"when we fall, we fall because there is something down there that we need to find. and if that thing isn't me or jimin, then it's still here. and you will find it."

"as much as i want to believe that, i don't think anything or anyone could change how shitty i feel."

"just promise me you'll keep that in mind, okay? and you're gonna get help, too. you're gonna get better."

"you think so?"

"i know so. just promise me you'll never do that again, okay?"

"i promise."

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if i told ya'll that i didn't cry writing this, it would be a lie 👀