One more time

TW: Mentions of scars

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Chuuya stumbled through the door of Dazai's house and was immediately slammed into the wall in the corridor, the back of his head catching painfully on the corner of a painting.

"Ow," Chuuya winced, squeezing his eyes shut momentarily.

"Sorry," Dazai said, slipping his hand to cup Chuuya's head, "Are you okay?"

Chuuya nodded, tilting his head up to kiss Dazai, his hand on the back of his head warm against his soaked hair. They had been dying to touch each other the whole drive home, sitting in their soaking clothes, they had shared no words.

Dazai's hands itched to reach out and touch Chuuya more, but he felt scared of hurting him any more than he had, so pressed his hands on either side of Chuuya on the wall, but that only brought his body closer to the redhead.

Chuuya was the first to give in, slipping his hands up Dazai's back and pulling him even closer, trailing his fingers up his spine and around his shoulder blades, pressing into Dazai for warmth.

"Can you feel that?" Chuuya whispered, pressing his finger into Dazai's scapular, "It's what remains of the wings we once had." Chuuya looked up at Dazai, his eyes shining, "It's kind of beautiful if you think about it."

"Chuuya," Dazai muttered, pulling his hand from the wall and cupping Chuuya's chin, "I want you to be happy. That's all I want. So if you think this won't make you happy then I want you to leave and walk out this door right now. Because I can't guarantee I'll stop needing you if we continue."

"Do you remember the day Atsushi went missing?" Chuuya asked, "You didn't show up to school the day after we fought and it scared me so much because I thought I lost you. I went to find you because I couldn't handle the idea of not having you in my life."

Dazai eyed Chuuya up and down, his gaze softening.

"I'm happy," Chuuya smiled, "I've never been happier."

It only took Dazai a moment to make up his mind, carefully, but with a certain haste, he picked up the redhead and carried him to his bedroom, slowly dropping him to the sheets.

"Wait, we're going to get your sheets damp," Chuuya protested looking down at his soaked clothing.

Dazai pressed his knees to the bed, hovering over Chuuya, and smirked, "I thought we were gonna do that anyway."

Chuuya reddened as he laughed, "Shut up idiot."

"I'm not wrong," Dazai said, slipping his hand up Chuuya's stomach, "Am I?"

Chuuya shrugged and wrapped his arms around Dazai's neck, "Maybe."

Dazai was pulled closer to Chuuya, his body pressing against the small redhead. Slipping his hand up further, Dazai pulled Chuuya's shirt completely off, his skin damp and glistening below it.

Dazai sat back on the bed, pulling off his shirt and shivering as he felt the cold air seep through his bandages. Chuuya took the opportunity to sit up, fix his hair, and wipe the smudged makeup from his eyes.

Dazai watched Chuuya intently, his skin even more pale in the darkness of night, with only the streetlight casting shadows through the blinds to light the room. Dazai put a hand on Chuuya's hip, pressing his thumb below the waistline of Chuuya's pants.

"You looked so good in that outfit," Dazai murmured, pulling him close, "It took everything I had to not jump on you the moment I saw you."

Chuuya crawled towards Dazai, "Why didn't you?"

Dazai smirked, and gripping onto Chuuya's hips, tugged him into his lap into a swift motion, "Where's the fun in that?"

Chuuya barely had time to spit out a reply before Dazai's mouth was hot on his, Chuuya's lips parting in a gasp at the weight of the kiss. He trailed his hands up Dazai's body, around the curve of his bandaged bicep, down his collarbone, resting his palm on his chest.

Dazai pulled away momentarily, "I don't want to hide from you," He whispered between light kisses on Chuuya's neck.

"You were hiding from me?"

Chuuya could feel Dazai nod into the nape of his neck, "Not just from you. From everyone."

Finally understanding, Chuuya leaned back to look at the brunette, "Dazai," He began, "you don't have to-"

"I want to," Dazai interrupted, "I want you to see every part of me. That way you get to make up your mind if it scares you."

Chuuya pursed his lips and then nodded, watching carefully as Dazai took a shaky breath, and with a slow hand, pulled at the bandage at his neck, letting it fall away in coils of white. Below it, his lightly tanned skin was decorated with blossoming scars that lined his neck, chest, and arms as it unfurled further. Chuuya held his breath as he studied the boy's body his hand coming up gently to trace a scar on his forearm, gliding his finger up and down with a certain tenderness he had never felt before.

Something in Chuuya ached for Dazai, it wasn't like he didn't know why Dazai wore bandages, but seeing it in person was something else. Chuuya would have done anything in that moment to take away all of Dazai's pain.

He leaned down and pressed his lips to Dazai's neck, dragging them downwards to his arms and leaving kisses along the scars, "You don't scare me, Dazai," Chuuya whispered, "10 thousand hours on this earth and you would never scare me."

Dazai blinked slowly, watching the beautifully incandescent boy kissing his scars, the scars he hated. No one had ever shown Dazai this kind of compassion, not since his Mom was alive.

Chuuya gasped lightly as Dazai intertwined their hands and flipped them over, pinning Chuuya to the bed beneath him.

"I love you," Dazai watched Chuuya's eyes shine, "And I mean it this time."

Chuuya felt his face burn "Say it one more time."

Dazai smiled, this time not sadly, "I love you. I love you. I'll say it as many times as you need."

"One more time," Chuuya grinned.

Dazai smirked and kissed the tip of Chuuya's nose, "I love you."

Chuuya let himself relax against the bed, "Finally."

"I want to prove to you how much I mean that," Dazai muttered quietly, letting his hand trail beneath the waistline of Chuuya's pants, dragging his lips down his pale stomach.

"Dazai," Chuuya gasped, gripping onto a tuft of Dazai's hair, that looked even darker in the dim light.

Dazai shushed the redhead, smiling coyly from between Chuuya's thighs, "You can relax," He whispered, slowly slipping off the smaller's pants and boxers.

Chuuya shuddered as he looked up at the ceiling, feeling Dazai kiss up the length of his thigh, higher and higher, squeezing his eyes shut as he gripped tighter at the hair on his lover's head.

"I love you too," Chuuya whispered in an exhale.

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A/N:

You're welcome

Sorry for not writing out the full smut scene, I thought it would be more impactful without it. If y'all are really curious the answer is yes, Dazai DID go down on Chuuya :)