Decisions

I almost had to pinch myself when I woke up - back at the prison - with none other than Daryl Dixon's bulging arm wrapped tightly around my waist. My heart skipped a beat when I realised he hadn't let go of me all night.

Was this really happening..?

I knew that today was going to be a tough one. We had a yard teeming with walkers, and the outer fence was down. Bandage Bastard a.k.a. The Governor had started a war, and we were all going to be pulled into battle. Plans had to be made, and it wasn't going to be easy - we're heavily outnumbered. People were also going to be mega pissed when they found out about Merle's presence in the adjoining cellblock.

I decided to ignore all of that for now, instead relishing in the warmth of the studmuffin I lay tangled with, feeling his muscular body pushed up against me. I enjoyed the arrangement for as long as I could - until I was definitely going to pee myself if I didn't go to the bathroom. I slowly lifted his arm and crept out quietly in the hope I could make it back before he woke.

I thought I'd managed it. I slipped back under the covers with my much happier bladder and laid facing him now. Although I was dying to be back in his arms, I didn't want to wake him - he looked so peaceful - so I simply laid there and admired him. He truly was the most beautiful man I'd ever seen. I took in every scar on his face, every crease, the way his hair fell, his eyelashes, his lips...

"Quit starin' at me." He mumbled, pulling the blanket up over his head shyly.

I should have known I couldn't have slipped out unnoticed. Damn Hunter's senses.

"I can't. Have you seen you?"

He re-emerged from his hiding spot now and gave me a comically stern look as we began hearing yelling from downstairs.

Our alone time was over, and we hadn't even got to the kissing part yet.

We both knew the furore kicking off would be about Merle, so it was my turn to hide under the blanket now. Daryl threw his leather vest over his shirt and jeans - who the hell sleeps in jeans? - and rushed off down the metal staircase.

I considered avoiding the situation completely but decided I'd better go back him up. The situation unfolded just as expected. Everyone except Hershel was furious about Merle's presence, arguing with Daryl and I about bringing him back. Technically he'd followed us back, but I didn't bother pointing that out. Merle aggravated the situation further by just being Merle, leering through the bars, and making obnoxious comments. I felt for Daryl. He really was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Hershel's response threw me. As Maggie's father I thought he'd be the first to want Merle gone, but ever the wise old man, he actually pointed out that the older Dixon's military experience could prove useful in our fight against The Governor.

"He may be erratic, but don't underestimate his loyalty to his brother." Hershel told him.

I wasn't convinced Merle held any loyalty to Daryl. He treats him like shit. Although he had simmered down slightly since finding out about his brother's scarred back, I wasn't sure he could be trusted.

Some people wanted to leave the prison, where others wanted to stay and attempt to defend our home. I, meanwhile, just wanted to be wherever Daryl was.

Hershel had also reminded me of what Beth had said about new arrivals coming and then leaving. He told Rick that he was a fool to send people away when we desperately needed more bodies to fight, which was a good point.

The day got even better when Andrea of all people turned up at our gates - using a walker on a pole to navigate her way through the masses of them swarming the building.

She was eventually let in and spouted a load of crap about trying to work out a peaceful agreement between ourselves and Woodbury. Was she delusional? We'd killed their people, they'd killed Axel and Oscar, tortured Maggie and Glenn - the only way this was going to end was in bloodshed.

I'd never quite forgiven Andrea for shooting at Daryl back at the farm. I didn't care that it was an accident. I couldn't get past it.

She was also just a bit of a bitch.

I did overhear Carol attempting to convince her to sleep with The Governor and them murder him as he slept, which I actually thought was our best shot right now. She didn't seem to go for it unfortunately.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week had passed since Andrea's visit and our return to the prison, and it had been an incredibly gruelling period. We were still arguing between ourselves about whether or not to abandon the prison, while simultaneously plotting our defences for the attack we knew was imminent.

I'd had zero alone time with Daryl and I was really missing his touch. Despite sharing a room, we'd not managed to spend an evening in it together since that first night. One of us was always on a watch shift. We'd had to up our game and have multiple bodies with eyes out at all times, people being stationed around different areas around the prison to offer us more vantage points.

Rick, Michonne - Katana Braid Lady - and Carl had thankfully returned last night with a barrage of new guns and ammo - which we were in desperate need of. The haul had something to do with a friend of Rick's, but I didn't ask too many questions, I was just grateful we'd upped our armory.

Today was a big day. Rick had, in fact, agreed to meet with The Governor, so shortly Daryl, Hershel and I would be accompanying him to a barn in the ass-end-of-nowhere. Trying to talk to this obvious psychopath seemed to me like a stupid idea, but we weren't about to let Rick go in there unprotected.

Our leader's whole idea was to divide our locations at the river and agree not to cross into each other's territory. I didn't see him being able to convince The Governor, though, and quietly encouraged Glenn to rope the others into further fortifying the prison in our absence, just in case.

Knowing that we were about to head into a shit show of a situation - and because I couldn't bear any longer without a private moment for just the two of us - I sought Daryl out, finding him finishing up the last of his latest watch in one of the towers.

"Hey." I heard his gruff voice emit before I'd even made it to the top of the stairs.

"Hey yourself." I replied, flashing him a cheeky grin and wrapping my arms around him the instant I reached him.

"I've barely seen ya'." He told me, as his body tensed up, just the same as every other time we'd touched.

"I've missed you." I confessed as I squeezed him tighter, nuzzling my face into his chest and inhaling his scent. "Do I scare you or something?"

"Huh?"

"It feels like you freak out a little when I show you affection."

"S'just new to me is all." He replied quietly, chewing on his thumbnail.

But I couldn't wait any longer, I pushed my mouth against his, pouring myself deep into him. He barely hesitated to kiss me back, landing one hand on my neck and the other on my hip as he dipped his tongue into my mouth in a way that made my legs shake.

The kiss started off gentle, affectionate, but quickly became something else - our lips moving forcefully against each other as his fingers dug into my hips. It had been too long since we'd had the opportunity to do this and I was in paradise. I let out a whimper as his fingers grasped harder, I couldn't help it. This man did things to me with just a touch that I couldn't understand - setting my entire body and soul on fire with an intensity that was hard to bear.

"Let's move out!" Rick called from the cars, signalling that our moment was over and it was time to test our luck with the Woodbury reprobates.

We took a second to lean our foreheads together and steady our breathing before we left, he shook slightly beneath my fingers as I stroked his hair.

It was getting harder and harder to deny to myself that I was completely in love with this man.

"Come on, let's go!" Rick roared now, clearly becoming impatient with our dawdling. Hershel should have been the last one to the car with his one leg, but it was Daryl and I, emerging rosy-cheeked and still a little breathless as we joined them.

Rick took Hershel in his car while I climbed onto the back of Daryl's bike. I spent the journey enjoying having my head rested on his shoulder and my arms around his torso, instead of thinking about the million ways this stupid meeting could go to shit.

Daryl, Hershel and I stood guard outside of the run-down old barn while Rick awaited his guest inside. When The Governor finally arrived, I noticed he'd switched out his bandage for a ridiculous looking eye-patch and resolved to refer to him now as 'Pirate Bastard' instead, much to Hershel's amusement. He appeared to have arrived alone, but I doubted that was actually the case.

Once Pirate Pete disappeared behind the wooden door for his meeting with Rick, we kept our eyes peeled for his men to emerge. Although, I'll admit I did spend some of that time trying to listen to their conversation through the doors, but unfortunately couldn't hear anything.

"You see any cars when you pulled around?" I quizzed Hershel.

"I didn't." He replied, scanning the area around us.

"Heads up." Daryl announced as as a large SUV came into view.

From it, emerged Andrea, flanked by two men. One looking like a grown-up version of Harry Potter and the other eyeing up Daryl.

Back off you - he's mine.

Andrea appeared flustered that the meeting had begun without her. She bustled past us looking irritated, which I enjoyed. She did seem to be trying hard to reach some sort of peaceful arrangement between the groups, though.

Maybe I should go easier on her... Nah.

Despite the incredible amount of pressure on this encounter, plus the precarious situation we found ourselves in generally at present, I couldn't help but feel rather giddy. My intense lip-locking session wwith the gorgeous redneck had left me feeling invigorated, silly even. Mischief was calling me and I was finding it hard to resist.

Harry Potter After a Hard Day eventually introduced himself as Milton - Captain Hook's 'adviser' - then gestured to the other man and revealed his name as Martinez. He and Daryl were still staring at each other aggressively, both men clearly feeling the need to establish dominance.

It wasn't too long before Andrea found herself back on the wrong side of the door with us. She didn't say it, but I got the vibe she'd been kicked out. I noticed Milton Potter scribbling in his notebook and my mischievous urges couldn't be contained any longer...

"Writing out some new spells? I teased him.

He glanced up at me, clearly confused by my reference. I looked to Daryl for validation, but his face was blank also. Luckily, a nod from Hershel confirmed that he saw the resemblance too, so I continued taunting him.

I was being a bitch. I didn't care though.

"Been doing much Alohamora-ing?" I continued.

I could tell I was annoying him, but I was having fun. Selene and I had loved the Harry Potter books and thinking about them made me smile, before it then made me want to cry.

"I'm recording what's happening." He finally offered, replacing the cap on his pen and closing his notepad.

"Like what?" I probed, actually a little bit interested but I wasn't going to admit it.

"This is the new world." He responded, history is being made.

"This isn't history being made." Martinez piped up. "It's a joke. They'll do their little dance, but eventually they'll give the word."

At that, a handful of walkers began to emerge from the bushes. They were no threat - we outnumbered them, but Daryl, Martinez and Andrea began competing in some sort of pissing contest, taking turns to kill them and showing off their combat skills. I however, sat and watched, heckling the latter two and only cheering for Daryl. I felt delirious with happiness and I couldn't contain it, today I was letting myself be as playful as I wanted.

After the bravado showdown, which I decided Daryl had won, he and Martinez shared cigarettes from a pack they found on one of the walkers, while Milton quizzed Hershel about his missing leg.

Eventually, Rick emerged from the barn looking defeated. We wasted no time in getting out of there, taking the car and bike back to the prison, me snuggling into Daryl's warmth the whole ride back.

~

'He wants the prison. He wants us gone, dead, for what we did to Woodbury." Rick told the gathered group grimly once we were back in the cellblock. "We're going to war."

I couldn't help but feel like there was something else - something he wasn't telling us - the whispered conversation with Hershel that was now happening only increasing my suspicions.

I approached Rick when they were finished. This wasn't the time for secrets, not from Daryl and I. I sensed he still had a little bit of lingering resentment about our abandonment, but we'd always been right by his side and helping lead the group.

"What aren't you telling us?" I asked him quietly, so as not to involve the others.

Rick sighed heavily, pausing before speaking in an even quieter voice than I'd used. "He offered me a deal. He wants Michonne."

I raised my eyebrows. I hadn't even had a proper conversation with Michonne yet, let alone got to know her, but this sort of plan didn't sound like Rick at all.

"And?" I pressed him.

"And I'm thinking about it." He replied plainly.

"Wow. Rick. I get that you want to keep us safe, but really? You think you could live with that?"

He only shrugged, before walking over to Carl and Judith, leaving me with my mouth gaping slightly open.

"Ya' good?" Daryl asked in a hushed voice as he approached.

"The Pirate offered him a deal. He wants Michonne."

"He thinkin' about it?" he replied, his face was unreadable as I nodded in confirmation. He eventually shook his head, signalling his disapproval. "Just ain't us man."

I agreed.

~

Merle had been allowed to come into the cellblock now, the larger situation looming over us leaving no space for anyone to babysit him. We had much bigger problems to worry about.

I actually caught him and Rick having a guarded conversation, which I can only assume had something to do with Michonne. I couldn't see any other reason the pair would have to speak to each other, they weren't exactly friendly.

I headed out to the roof for my watch shift, admiring the toned arms of Daryl on the ground below as he hauled materials, Beth, Michonne and Glenn were also working with him to continue fortifying the prison. After a while my eye candy trailed off to look for Merle. He kept his brother on a tight leash, he had to. He'd been checking on him every couple of hours to make sure he wasn't riling anyone up. Rick had told Daryl he was responsible for him, and he was honouring that.

My mind drifted to Michonne as I saw her lugging heavy pieces of timber across the courtyard, stopping to take out a couple of walkers with her katana that were pushing against the fence of what used to be our yard - before Pirate Bastard filled it with walkers.

We hadn't formed a relationship yet, but I liked her. I admired her fierceness and she seemed like she really wanted to help us. I realised that I needed to speak with Rick again, explain to him that he simply couldn't take the deal to sacrifice her. It wasn't fair. We'd find another way.

If he wouldn't relent, I would warn Michonne.

I was a couple of hours into my watch, once again admiring Daryl from above as he worked after he'd returned from his Merle check in. He seemed a little out of sorts - I could tell even from up here. It was like his head wasn't quite on task, as if something had happened between them.

I was considering what could have gone down between the two, when the older Dixon himself emerged from the heavy metal door onto the roof, making his way toward me.

I didn't acknowledge his arrival. I was starting to see a different side to him after he'd seen Daryl's scars but I still despised the way he treat him. Merle didn't speak at first either. He just stood near the edge of the roof beside me, joining me in watching the younger redneck work.

"He's a good man is my li'l brother." He finally told me, his tone calmer than I'd ever heard it before. "He ain't nothin' like old Merle huh?"

I didn't respond, I just continued to watch Daryl and wondered what had prompted this impromptu visit.

"I mean, he's never knocked me unconscious before." I finally replied, seizing the opportunity to throw in a dig about our first meeting in the store parking lot.

"Nah. He really ain't like me."

"No. He's not, and you're right - he is a good man, he's even more than that. He's saved the lives of everybody in this place ten times over, he led the group when Rick couldn't, he cares about everyone more than he does himself.

I paused, turning my head to look at Merle before continuing, "He's amazing."

Merle nodded, but didn't return my gaze.

"I ain't never done right by 'im. Sometimes I thought I was, but I wasn't. He needed his big brother and I was always too busy in juvy or chasin' after girls in bars." He dropped his eyes to the floor. "I really din't know what was happenin' to him at home... not really."

As much as I wanted to press, to ask him what the hell had gone on - I refrained. If Daryl wanted to open up to me about it, he'd do it in his own time. It wasn't fair for me to get that information elsewhere. It was private.

"Ya din't answer my question in the woods... Are ya' in love with 'im?"

It was such a probing question, personal, and being asked by a man I didn't think much of, but I answered honestly:

"Yes."

As the single word came out of my mouth, I realised that I really meant it.

I was in love with Daryl Dixon.

I knew the younger redneck wasn't ready to hear it, it would terrify him. I could tell he was still struggling with having romantic feelings for me at all, which sucked but I understood it. However for some reason, I'd found myself admitting it to Merle.

The older Dixon looked me in the eye now, still standing beside me.

"Ya' take care of 'im, make him happy. Don't let him run away, from ya' or himself."

It wasn't an observation, but a request.

"You can take care of him too Merle, it's not too late. You just need to get your head out of your ass first and realise not everyone's your enemy."

"Mhm." Was all he offered back.

I got why he thought it was too late to make amends, to repair years of damage to the brothers' relationship, but it wasn't. Daryl so desperately wanted his big brother to step up and be a better man. All Merle had to do was actually do it.

"He loves you." I told him.

"Yeah."

"If you'd have seen him when we found your hand, it was heartbreaking - he looked completely broken. He wouldn't stop searching for you, even when everyone else had given up."

"Didn't sound like you did."

"No, I stayed because I didn't want to leave him alone. I'd only met him that day and there I was running around Atlanta with his looking for his amputee brother." I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"So ya' could say ya' owe it all to me? Good old Georgian Cupid."

"I wouldn't go that far." I laughed again.

Something felt different between Merle and I, like maybe he'd realised that I was genuine in my feelings for his brother. There was a gentleness in the way he spoke that I hadn't witnessed before.

"Promise." He commanded.

"What?"

"That you'll take care of him, make him happy - if I'm not around."

"I promise, but you don't need to think like that, the others will come around. If we get through this Woodbury shit, we'll all make it work."

Merle nodded and turned back toward the door, pausing as he opened it.

"I'm glad he's got ya'." He uttered without looking back, stepping through the door and closing it.

~

Daryl came to find me as I was wrapping up my watch, him about to head up into the tower for his own. I couldn't stop grinning when he emerged on to the roof, sweaty and covered in dirt from a hard day trying to secure our gray concrete home. He must already be exhausted and he's about to pull an overnighter, but he still made time to come see me, even if it would only be brief.

"Well, you have made my shift pass at the speed of light Mr Dixon." I jested.

"Yeah..?" he replied, curiously.

"Mmm-hmm. I had the view of the century up here, watching you throw those materials around down there, getting all sweaty." I raised my eyebrows suggestively.

A brief but hearty laugh escaped him. The sound and how it made his face free up made me want to melt, but once his short burst of amusement was over, he looked shy.

"What ya' watchin' me for?" he asked hesitantly.

"Because you're the best-looking thing in here, duh."

He quickly dropped his eyes to the floor but I caught his smirk forming.

"I mean, apart from Daddy Hershel." I continued, edging closer to him, "But he wasn't outside, so I had to make do with you."

He lifted his head as I reached him and I saw the remnants of his ears blushing.

How could someone so tough and rugged be so damn cute at the same time?

We moved for each other's lips at the same time, our mouths meeting in harmony and we shared a gentle kiss. I melted into him as his hands held my head, my chest resting on his. I could feel his heart beating fast and I loved knowing the effect I had on him.

We pulled away when we needed to breathe but he kept me close, wrapping his arms around me.

"You gonna be okay tonight?" I asked him, "You've been getting less sleep than ever and you've been doing manual labor all day."

I leaned back, taking in the dark, heavy bags under his blue eyes as he rolled them at me.

"What ya' talkin' about woman?" He asked.

"Just don't want you to run yourself into the ground trying to do everything is all."

He acted nonchalant, but I could tell he liked that I was concerned about him, he couldn't hide his smile.

"You want me to come keep you company?" I continued.

"Nah, you need rest Ath, you've been workin' non-stop too."

If I hadn't felt so drained I would have pushed it further, but I had to admit to myself that I was completely exhausted too. Plus, my period was due and that always made me feel more crappy.

"Okay." I pressed my lips back to his briefly. "But once this Governor shit's over with, we are having a rearrange of duties. I'm missing you at bedtime."

"Deal." He promised, pressing a soft kiss to my lips now - a goodbye as he had to head to the tower.

"Has Merle been behaving?" I asked as he walked toward the door.

"I guess." He replied, spinning back to face me as he reached the exit. "Him and Rick seem weird, actually having proper conversations..."

"Yeah." I agreed. "I noticed that too. He came up here acting strange earlier as well."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He was being... nice."

"I found 'im in the generator room earlier lookin' for drugs. S'probably high."

"Ah." I sounded as I remembered how Daryl had looked when he returned from checking on his brother earlier in the day. "Things get heated?"

"Yep." He nodded, "Get some sleep, Ath. I'll see ya in the mornin'."

"You will." I told him with a nod.

~

I woke early, feeling not at all rested despite having a decent night's sleep. I'd just made it down to grab something for breakfast when Rick collared me.

"Athena, you seen Merle or Michonne?"

"I've just come down. They not outside? I doubt they'd be off somewhere together."

"I'll ask Daryl." He murmured, taking off to go and see the sexier redneck in the guard tower, where he'd be finishing up his watch.

"Morning." Glenn greeted me.

"Good morning to you too." I replied. "You and Maggie okay?"

"Getting there." He sighed.

The pair hadn't been doing great since they were kidnapped by Merle and held at Woodbury, but I had seen them talking together over the last few days so hopefully they were making up.

I finished my can of cold baked beans and ventured out to the yard, planning to catch Daryl as he made his way down from the tower. I found him by his bike, looking like he was going somewhere.

"Hey." I called as I approached. "You off on an adventure?"

"Merle's taken Michonne." He revealed, fumbling with a jerry can as he started topping up his bike's fuel.

"What?"

"Yup."

"Fuck."

"Yup. Taken the deal into his own hands. Damn idiot."

"What's he thinking!?"

"He ain't."

"I'm coming with you." I instructed.

"Nah. You ain't."

"Yes I am." I continued as I edged to mount the bike.

"Ath, ya' ain't comin'. It has to be me."

"Why?"

" 'Cause he's my brother."

"And?"

"Don't. Just let me do this."

I wanted to argue further, but the fierce look in Daryl's eyes told me he wasn't going to budge. I had to respect his decision to go after Merle alone, even if I didn't agree with it.

"Be safe." I told him, pulling him into a hug and burying my face in his chest, taking in his woody scent.

"I'll be back." He replied, pressing a chaste kiss to my lips before mounting his bike.

I swung the gate open to allow him exit and closed it behind him, watching him disappear down the road with my gut twisting in on itself.

I had to fight my urge to follow him, hard. I wanted to grab one of the cars and deal with the fall out later, but I didn't. He'd asked me not to and I wasn't going to disrespect him, especially when we were so low on numbers here and expecting a visit from The Governor and any time. It put the group more at risk having us both gone.

~

I kept myself busy throughout the day, constantly listening out for the hum of Daryl's bike returning, but it never came. By the time it started to get dark, I was beside myself.

Where was he? Was he okay? Was Michonne okay?

It wasn't my turn to be on watch but I stood guard on the roof anyway, scanning the distance for any sign of my favourite person coming home. The knot in my stomach grew tighter with each passing minute and I agonised over not following him when I had the chance.

"Rick's looking for you." Beth informed me as she popped her head through the door. "He's down in the tunnels."

"I'm coming." I replied.

Rick was obviously as perturbed by Daryl's lack of return as I was. I made my way down to the tunnels - somewhere Rick seemed to have started to view as a safe haven, escaping down here when he needed time to think straight.

He caught my eye as soon as I entered.

"What you thinkin'?" he asked me, his face serious.

"That I shouldn't have let him go alone." I replied, my voice cracking as regret my tears pricked at my eyes.

"He'll be okay Athena. Daryl's tough. But just in case..."

"Let's go find him." I finished Rick's sentence.

We made it up to the cellblock, grabbing fresh ammo before heading for the cars when Maggie silently appeared next to me.

"Rick and I are going after Daryl." I told her without looking up from the task at hand. "I should never have let him go on his own."

"I'm coming too." She insisted.

"It's bad enough Rick coming with me. We can't have another person out Mag, its too risky."

Thankfully she didn't argue. I appreciated her willingness, but it was too many people out of the prison at one time and we couldn't afford it. She squeezed my hand as I began to walk away.

"He'll be okay." She offered unconvincingly.

I couldn't say anything back. My throat had involuntarily tightened at the possibility that he wouldn't, in fact, be alright.

I needed to bring him home.

I've rewritten this chapter so many times and I'm still not totally happy with it. I feel like my writing is a bit off, but don't want to keep you all waiting.

Thank you as always for your votes and comments. ❤️