With Me

Rick and I zoomed down the road leading out of the prison, an awful tension hanging in the air. We had three people unaccounted for, one of them being Daryl.

"You think Merle would have gone straight to Woodbury? Or back to the meeting point?" I asked him, chewing my fingernails.

"Could be either. We need to make a decision, though, on which to hit first."

I was trying desperately to work out which option Daryl would have chosen when Rick slammed the car's brakes, throwing me violently against my seat belt.

"Rick what the f-" I began angrily, before realizing why he'd risked giving me whiplash.

Michonne.

The braided beauty was walking, apparently unharmed, back in the direction of the prison.

"Get in!" Rick ordered her. "What happened? Did Merle take you!?"

"Yeah. Asshole." She responded, clambering into the back of the car. "He changed his mind though, dumped me on the side of the road."

"Daryl!?" I asked manically, "Did you see him!?"

She gave me a sympathetic look, uttering, "He told me not to send help."

"He went after Merle!?" I probed further.

She nodded.

"Rick, drive!" I begged, feeling panic rising in my chest and turning back to Michonne, "Was Merle heading for Woodbury!?"

"No." She said simply, "We were out by a bunch of farmland."

"The barn!" Rick and I blurted out at the same time.

It seemed to take forever for us to arrive there, me clenching my fists in fear for Daryl the entire time.

Please let him be okay.

I jumped out of the car before it had even stopped moving, sprinting straight into the old barn where Rick had met with Pirate Bastard.

It was empty.

"Let's split up." I told the other two as they climbed out of the vehicle. "If they're not anywhere here, then we'll head to Woodbury."

Rick nodded as he and Michonne started to run in opposite directions, me opting to head toward another couple of farm buildings behind the main barn.

My heart thumped in my chest, and beads of perspiration ran down my neck as I searched for the Dixon brothers. I kicked open doors and peered through windows, calling out for them in turn, unconcerned with the amount of noise I was making.

Oh, thank Bejesus!

A pair of discoloured white angel wings shone out at me from the back of Daryl's battered leather vest as I clocked him fighting a walker. I watched as he shoved it away from him and raised his knife, my body feeling as though it would collapse with relief at finding him.

The walker lunged at him, and out of nowhere, I saw Merle appear, tackling it from the side and throwing it to the ground. Daryl didn't hesitate - plunging his knife into its already mangled face repeatedly; Merle holding it in place as he did so.

I'd reached them now, and I threw myself at Daryl from behind, clearly startling him because he span around with his knife raised. Merle looked like he could burst out laughing.

"I'm not a walker." I breathed out as I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my head against his chest. "I was just worried about you."

"I'm fine." He told me, taken aback by my display of affection in front of his brother, failing to hug me back.

My stomach sank. I knew he struggled to do public displays, but it still hurt. I'd been so worried about him. I felt a bubble of emotion rising through my body, but I pushed it back down.

Not here.

"And you!" I moved toward Merle, forcing my pang of rejection out as anger instead. "What were you thinking!?"

"I was thinkin' Cowboy Rick don't have the balls, so it was down to old Merle to save ya' sorry asses." He retorted, defensively.

"He didn't go through with it." Daryl protested as I lunged for Merle, grabbing me by the arm gently to pull me back.

"Idiot." I spat at Merle as I saw Michonne appearing into view.

She gave Merle a stern glare but then offered him a small nod, much to my confusion.

What? She was forgiving him? Seriously?

It was Rick's turn to round the corner now, stopping in his tracks as he spotted our gathering.

He marched straight up to Merle, grabbing him by the throat.

"I didn't give the word." He growled at him, eyes burning into the older redneck's own.

"Nah." He spat back, "'N ya' wouldn't have either. Call ya'self a leader? Yur a pussy."

Daryl pressed himself between the two, separating them and giving both of them his trademark scowl.

"Quit!" he commanded. "This coulda gone south, but it didn't. Everyone's good."

"You think this is okay?" Rick roared back at him, "He was gonna give her to The Governor!"

"So were you!" he shot back at Rick, pushing him by the chest.

Understanding dawned on Michonne's face. She still stood apart from the four of us, but she was close enough to hear. Rick caught her eye and looked mortified. It was enough to distract him from the building tension with Daryl.

"He can't come back." Rick told nobody in particular, but then glimpsed over to me for my support.

I took a moment.

"He didn't actually go through with it, Rick." I decided, attempting to sound confident in my stance.

I wasn't. I still didn't trust Merle, but he was Daryl's brother, and I wasn't risking them leaving again.

Rick looked exasperated. I'd always had his back before, but I wasn't taking the chance on this. I couldn't.

"Ya' need us, all of us." Daryl explained, "Govenor's comin'. We need to be ready."

Rick looked like he was going to protest, but instead shook his head and turned back in the direction of the car.

"You're still a fuckface." I sneered at Merle, who was looking far too smug about my support for his place at the prison. I made way toward Michonne, who hadn't moved from her spot.

"You okay?" I asked her. She nodded. "Merle's gonna come back with us. I know he's a... well, I've run out of insults for him... but we need him to fight. We need you too."

"He let me go." She replied simply, shrugging to show that she didn't object, as she began heading in the same direction as Rick.

Rick and Michonne had left in the car by the time we'd returned to the bike.

"I'll be takin' my bike lil' bro." Merle informed Daryl, reaching into his brother's pocket and swiping the keys.

"Nah." Daryl protested, moving to snatch them back.

"Yup. Ya' take your girl. Talk." He countered, tossing him the car keys and giving him a pointed look. I swear I saw Daryl gulp. "Car's over there."

We heard the bike revving as we climbed into the car Merle had ditched a few minutes from the entrance to the barn. We hadn't said a word to each other. I sat in the passenger seat and focused my eyes out of the window, while Daryl started the engine and began moving back onto the road.

We sat in silence for a long time. I was so relieved that he was safe, and I wanted badly to show him that, but his inability to so much as acknowledge my affection back there stung. I'd thought I may have lost him, I couldn't help but want to grab him, regardless of who was around, nor should I have to stop myself.

Besides, he'd been the one who'd grabbed my hand for a few moments as we walked away from Merle before returning to the prison...

Mixed signals. much?

"You okay?" He asked quietly when we were nearing the jail.

"I'm glad you're alright." I sighed, dodging his question.

I wasn't okay. I was hurt by his earlier reaction, and I wasn't ready to pretend everything was fine. But I was thankful he was safe, and I didn't want to make it into more of a big deal. A bit of time to sulk when we got back should get it out of my system.

He didn't push me. My answer hadn't offered him any reassurance, and he clearly didn't know how to approach it further. So we sat quietly until we pulled up at the prison's gates.

Rick, Merle, and Michonne were waiting for us beside their vehicles.

"Michonne's agreed that we keep this little... whatever... between us." Rick spoke seriously, "We have too much to do. We don't need the drama."

I eyed Michonne, who didn't express opposition.

"Maggie probably knows. I told her we were going after Daryl, so Glenn probably does, too." I muttered as I walked away from the four of them.

I was annoyed with Merle and pissed at Daryl. I needed some headspace, so I opted to go and take the world's longest shower. The hot water was soothing against my skin and offered me the peace I needed to mull the situation over.

It had become clear to me how insecure Daryl was about intimacy. Every time I touched him, kissed him, he tightened involuntarily, always hesitating before reciprocating. I knew that it wasn't necessarily a reflection of his feelings for me - he'd spent a lifetime struggling with his demons - and I was aware now that he'd likely suffered abuse at the hands of his father; but I wasn't able to pretend it didn't hurt to be left hanging back there.

I'd only wanted to hold him...

I couldn't help but wonder if he'd ever been shown real intimacy or love before. Surely somebody as drop dead gorgeous as Daryl would have been fighting off women in the old world... but some of Merle's comments did make me consider that perhaps that wasn't the case. He'd called him 'Never-been-kissed' and made a comment about 'finally being shown what that bulge in his pants was for', so maybe he'd never actually allowed himself to travel this road before...

Although, the way he could set my soul on fire just by kissing me made me doubt it. The guy should be in the Make Out Olympics with the way he moved his tongue around my tonsils.

I was lost in the memory of Daryl's lips pushing against mine when I almost hit the shower ceiling. The water had turned ice cold and very nearly sent me into shock. Clearly, I'd been in there longer than I realised...

I redressed and headed back to the perch, dirty clothes in hand, thinking about how to broach the subject of how I was feeling with Daryl. I didn't want to fight, but I wasn't going to dull down my own feelings for a man - even one that looked like that.

He wasn't in the perch, on the roof, or eating with the others, so I resigned myself to the fact that he'd probably gone into hiding somewhere in the building. The man was fearless when it came to fighting, but not when it involved opening himself up. A conversation about feelings would be his worst nightmare, and he'd no doubt want to avoid it.

I was surprised to see Merle sitting having a dinner of tinned carrots and potato chips amongst the rest of the group - including Maggie and Glenn, who looked extremely chipper.

"What's going on?" I asked suspiciously as I reached them, sitting down beside Carol and reaching for a can of carrots.

"Well, we got married." Glenn announced, pulling Maggie to his side as she flashed me a ring on her finger."

What!? When did this happen?

"Uhhh..." I began before it dawned on me how wonderful the news was. "Congratulations!" I cheered as I leant across the table to kiss each of them on the cheek. "I missed a wedding..?"

"Not really." Maggie explained, "Glenn took the ring from a walker, and we just kinda decided we were married."

"He asked Daddy's permission, too!" Beth revealed, struggling to give an uncooperative Judith her bottle.

"Gonna consummate the marriage in the tower?" Carol teased, throwing a knowing glance at the newlyweds."

Hershel started choking on his carrots...

"What does consummate mean?" Carl asked curiously, making Michonne drop her bag of chips onto the floor in a fit of giggles.

"It means showin' the lady the goods!" Merle cackled.

"I'll tell you when you're older." Rick advised his son, shooting Merle a disapproving look but tinged with a smile.

Everybody seemed in such good spirits, despite the palaver we'd had today. I assumed Maggie and Glenn's new marriage meant they'd forgotten all about the potentially disastrous situation that had been averted - and apparently, their hatred for Merle, too.

It felt strange for us all to be laughing and celebrating when we literally had a madman preparing to come and kill us, but sometimes you have to live in the moment, I guess.

I felt sad that Daryl wasn't here to enjoy the happy vibes with everyone, so I made my excuses and set off to find him. It took me a while, but I finally located him out in the dark courtyard, tinkering with his bike.

I took a deep breath and walked toward him.

"Merle not treat her well?" I asked him, trying to sound light-hearted.

He looked surprised to see me, quickly flicking his eyes awkwardly back to the bike. "Merle don't look after nothin'." He grumbled.

I plonked myself down on the floor, close to where he was working. "Maggie and Glenn are married." I informed him.

"So I hear." He responded, crouched on the ground now, rubbing at a new scratch on his prized Honda.

"You ever been married?" I asked him.

He looked at me dumbfounded. Obviously, I knew he hadn't. It took a solid year for us to even kiss. No way in hell had Daryl walked down the aisle in front of a church full of people, but it amused me to ask.

"Nah." He dismissed quickly. "Have you?" He asked almost nervously, like he didn't want to hear my answer.

"No." I laughed. "Never understood the point."

I could see he was relieved that I wasn't hiding a secret spouse from him.

"I'd never wanna buy dinner for that many people either." I continued, trying to lighten the mood.

I saw a hint of a smile threaten at the corners of his lips before he turned to look at me, his face serious again.

"Ya' don't have to be out here with me ya' know?"

"Huh?"

"Ya' don't have to be out here. They're celebratin' inside. Don't ya' wanna join in?"

"I was joining in. But you weren't there, and I wished you were..."

He finally stopped fiddling with the bike, letting out a sigh and lowering himself to sit on the floor in front of me, eyes trained on the ground.

"Thought ya' were pissed..." He confessed quietly, chewing on his thumbnail.

"I was." I told him, not bothering to deny it.

"M'sorry."

"Me too." I admitted, wondering if I'd been too hard on him.

He looked thoughtful for a minute before he all but whispered, "I ain't good at this..."

"At having a conversation?" I teased.

"At this..." he gestured from himself to me and back again, still not looking up. "I don't know what I'm doin'."

I could sense his embarrassment.

"It's okay." I told him, genuinely meaning it. "I don't really know either."

He met my gaze now, his face intrigued.

I'd had relationships in the past, but they'd never been very serious. I always ran a mile when they started veering that way. I'd had my fair share of casual encounters, too, but none of that compared to what I was experiencing with Daryl.

"It's different with you." I revealed, shrugging my shoulders.

"Why?" he asked, running his fingers along a crack in the concrete.

"Just... being with you, around you, it makes me feel different..."

I saw the familiar rosy glow appearing at the top of his ears. He was blushing.

"Are ya?" he asked, looking up at me now, his eyes almost fearful.

"Am I what?"

He hesitated, and I noticed his hands shaking slightly.

"With me?" he clarified, dropping his glare to the floor for just a moment before forcing himself to look back up at me.

I rolled up onto my knees and shuffled closer.

"Do you want me to be?" I asked, right in front of him now and looking straight into his blue eyes, my heart racing.

He didn't answer at first, and I thought about how awkward it would be now if he said no. He bit his lip, eyes flitting from me to the floor repeatedly, like he was having an internal battle with himself to say the word.

"Yeah."

A huge grin manifested on my face as I crawled atop his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist, I could feel him sweating nervously as I looked down at him, my hand cupping his cheek.

"Then yes." I whispered, leaning down and kissing him passionately. He breathed out an audible sigh of relief against my mouth, before allowing his lips to merge with mine, dipping his tongue into me as his hands found the small of my back. He pulled me flush against him as I curled my fingers into his hair, kissing him even more deeply now. His breathing hitched as our chests collided, forcing him to break our kiss for a second, before returning straight back to me.

I pulled back slightly for air, and a small moan escaped from my lips as he trailed a line of feather light kisses to the underside of my jaw.

Fuck.

My body trembled, and my hips rocked into him of their own accord as I felt him growing beneath me.

Holy fucking fuck.

Abruptly, his mouth froze, and he halted my movement by pressing his hands against my hips.

"Ath..." He breathed, eyes looking anywhere but at my face.

I felt a tiny sting of rejection before letting it go. The man had just told me he wanted to be with me. That's all I needed right now. Further intimacy could wait - he'd clearly become uncomfortable.

"I..." he started, before growling quietly in frustration with himself. "I..." He exhaled loudly. "M'sorry."

I could sense his discomfort, feel the way he quivered beneath my fingers.

Me knowing about his scars now betrayed that his body had been hurt badly at the hands of another - likely as a child - and it made sense that our heated exchange had triggered his need to protect himself.

"Shh." I sounded as I crawled out of his lap, positioning myself cross-legged in front of him now. I pulled him immediately by his vest back toward me for a gentle kiss, not allowing him to shut down.

"I'm so fucked up..." He let escape - almost inaudibly - against my lips, followed by a small growl of frustration.

His eyes remained closed as I pulled him into my neck, kissing the top of his head as I traced small circles in his hair with my fingers.

"That makes two of us." I told him, lightly. "We'll figure it out together."

"Ath." He mumbled into my neck after a moment, a vocal appreciation at my words.

We stayed there for a few minutes, holding each other, before Glenn appeared above us, leaning over the edge of the roof.

"Hey lovebirds!" He bellowed, a big smile on his face. "Stop smoochin' and come celebrate with us!"

He didn't wait for a response, just swung around back in the direction of the door. We heard him holler, "I got a wiiiiiife!" to himself just before the heavy metal slammed shut.

Daryl and I both giggled. It was lovely to see Glenn so happy. Everyone seemed so spirited tonight thanks to the new Mr and Mrs Rhee.

"Let's go." he said, standing up and pulling me to my feet. Placing one last delicate kiss to my lips before taking my hand and leading me toward the door to the cellblock.

As we reached the entrance, I loosened my grasp on his fingers, feeling comfortable that his avoidance of contact in front of the others wasn't a reflection on our now official relationship.

To my surprise and elation, he didn't let my fingers slip out of his. Instead, he grasped my hand tighter as he took a deep breath and pulled me toward the celebrations; still holding on to me, his cheeks burning red.

This is my favourite chapter so far! 😁

I'd initially written it with plans to kill off Merle as happens in the show, but I decided that he was too much fun as a character.

I hope you enjoyed it! ❤️