Chapter 32 - This Sorrowful Life

"Over here!" I scream, banging at one of the pots with a spoon.

Maggie and Carl yell either side of me, attracting the walkers away from those in the field. I glance at them and see them nail one of the bar wire traps into the ground, Michonne taking out a few walkers. They jump back into the car and begin to ride back up into the courtyard.

"Let's head back." Maggie yells.

I stop the banging and nod my head as the three of us make our way back up towards the others. We soon enough reach the top and I see Rick speaking with Glenn, Michonne and Daryl. I notice a weird exchange go on between Daryl and Rick and I wonder what's going on.

"Alright, let's go." Rick says, beginning to walk further off into the prison.

I walk alongside Daryl and I look over to him, "What was that all about?" I ask.

"What?" He says.

I roll my eyes, "That look between you and Rick just now, there something you want to tell me?"

He doesn't say anything and I slow down, grabbing at his arm for him to stop. I look him in the eye and I see that he is hiding something, "What's going on?" I ask, an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

"I can't tell you." He says.

I raise my eyebrow in confusion, "Something's going down, isn't it?" I ask after a moment of clarity.

He doesn't say anything and I run my fingers through my hair, "Shit." I mutter under my breath.

"Hey," He says, leaning his head down to look me in the eye, "I promise you, that I'm not going to let anything happen to you, ever. Hey it's you and me... Always."

I look at him for a long moment and I know that I trust him, with everything that I have. I nod my head, "Always."

I stare into his eyes for a moment before I step forward and lean up on my toes, my hand reaching up to his cheek. I look him in the eye for a second before closing them and placing a kiss on his cheek. I allow my lips to linger there for a moment before I put my feet flat once more. My hand lingers on his cheek for a second before I slide it away and turn and make my way after the others.

I know that whatever is going on between him and Rick isn't right, that something bad is going to happen. But he's asking me to trust him. He's never let me down before. And I trust Rick with my life, whatever they're planning I know it's for the benefit of all of us. I just hope that they know what they're doing and that nobody gets hurt.

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I walk back into the cellblock with the others and go to walk up to my room. As I walk through the doorway, I see a figure seated on my bed and I grow confused.

"What're you doing up here?" I ask, walking and placing my gun down against the wall.

"I can't just come up and see how my girl's doing?" Merle asks.

I scoff, "Since when have you ever come up to check on me?" I ask, turning around to face him as I fold my arms over my chest.

"I've checked up on you and looked after you nearly your whole life Darling, it ain't gonna stop now that you and my brother are bumping uglies." He states.

I roll my eyes and shake my heads, "We're not bumping uglies. Why has everything got to come back to sex with you?"

He shrugs his shoulders, "Well whatever you are, you know that I care about you right?"

I nod my head confused, wondering where he is going with this as he continues talking, "Whatever is going on between you, I know that you are always going to take care of my baby brother. And that he is always going to take care of you."

"You know that I would give my life for him... Where are you going with this?" I ask, the uneasiness from before suddenly coming back.

He stares at me for a long moment before shaking his head, a sad smile on his lips, "It's nothing Darling."

"Are you sure? You don't seem yourself." I state, noticing his weird state of mood.

He nods his head, "I'm fine Darling, everything's gonna be okay." He says as he gets to his feet.

I stare at him with crinkled eyebrows as he comes over and stops in front of me. He places his hand on the back on my head before leaning down and pressing a kiss to my head. It's a sweet kiss, filled with love and kindness.

He steps back and looks me in the eye, "You take care of yourself darling."

And just like that he turns and makes his way out of my cell and down the stairs. I stare after him feeling completely confused and with a heavy uneasiness settling in my stomach. After the weird interaction between Daryl and Rick this morning and then Merle now, I know that something serious is going down and I hate that I don't know what it is. For Merle to be so open and vulnerable, it just doesn't seem right. Something is going down and deep down I know that whatever it is, it's not going to end well.

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I walk along side Carl and Beth, Hershel and Carol following close behind us with the baby in her arms. Rick has called some kind of meeting in the courtyard and I know it has something to do with the weirdness that's been going on today. I take a seat on the front of the bench, Carl, Beth and Hershel sitting on the other side and Carol off to the side with the baby.

Daryl, Merle, Michonne, Maggie, Glenn and Rick are missing and I wonder where the hell everybody is. I see movement and I look up to see Rick coming forward, Maggie and Glenn following not too far behind. They take their place off to the side while Rick looks us all over, apprehension in eyes.

"When I met with the Governor, he offend me a deal. He said..." He trails off.

He takes a breath before continuing, "He said he would leave us alone if I gave him Michonne."

My eyes widen in shock as I try to process what he just said as he continues talking, "And I was gonna do that. To keep us safe." Everyone remains silent, all of us shocked at the deal he has made.

"But I changed my mind. But now Merle took Michonne to fulfil the deal and Daryl went to stop him and I don't know if it's too late." He explains shakily and I feel my heart stop instantly, fear running down my back like a ice water.

"I was wrong not to tell you. I'm sorry. What I said last year, that first night, after the farm? It can't be like that, it can't. What we do. What were willing to do. Who we are, it's not my call. It can't be." He says, looking at us desperately.

"I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good because we are the greater good. We're the reason we're still here, not me. This is life and death. How you live, how you die it isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor." He says, distaste in his voice.

"We choose to go, we choose to stay. We stick together. We vote. We can stand, we can fight or we can go."

He looks over us for a moment, his words sinking in before he turns and makes his way away from us. I know that what he is saying is to try and comfort us but the only words that run through my head is that that Merle and Daryl are out there. That no one has their backs. I stare after Rick and quickly get to my feet, following after him.

"Rick." I call out, jogging after him.

He continues walking at I catch up to him as he makes his way up the guard tower, "Rick!" I call again, following him up the stairs, "How long ago did they leave?"

We reach the top and Rick turns back to look at me, "Merle left around an hour ago, Daryl went after him around half an hour ago."

I feel sick to my stomach and I look at him, "How could you just let him go out on his own? Unprotected?No one covering his back?"

"Hey I offered to go with him but he told me to stay here. He wanted to go out on his own." He explains.

My stomach twists up in knots and I shake my head, feeling sick at the thought of him being out there alone. Rick reaches over and places a hand on my shoulder, "I'm sorry Bree."

I look up at him and nod my head. He glances over my shoulder and something catches his eye. He pulls up his rifle and looks down the scope, his eyes focused on something.

"What is it?" I ask, trying to see what he sees.

"It's Michonne." He says.

"Are the others with her?" I ask, my heart beating fast.

He shakes his head, "No."

"Then where are they?" I ask, my heart sinking.

"I don't know, let's go find out." He says, turning and making his way back down the stairs.

I follow after him and we make our way down to fence and wait for Michonne to get closer to let her in. She reaches the edge and Rick opens up the gate, her slipping through quickly.

"Where are they?" I ask, not wasting any time.

She had a look on her face, something I can't quite put my finger on. She looks between the he two of us before she speaks, "Merle let me go." I look at her confused, wondering if I have heard her right.

"He what?" Rick asks.

She nods her head, "We were on our way there and I was trying to convince him to let me go, that we could just go back. Then he suddenly pulled over, cuts me out of the restraints and told me to come back here and get ready for what's next. That he had to do something in his own."

My heart stops at her words as Rick looks at her confused, "Get ready for what's next? What does that mean?"

I close my eyes and feel my heart begin to ache in the all too familiar pain, "He's going to take on the Governor."

"He's what?" Rick asks.

"How can you be so sure?" Michonne asks.

I shake my head and open my eyes, "Merle would do anything to protect his brother, to protect me. And he has a score to settle with him, after Woodbury he lost a part of him. I can't really say what but he wasn't the same as he was before all of this."

"What about Daryl, did you see Daryl?" Rick asks.

She nods her head, "Not too long after Merle left me, I met up with him. He ran off after Merle."

I shake my head, "He's not gonna make it." I say defeated.

No one says anything for a long time until finally Rick speaks up, "We have to get ready for whatever Merle's doing. We need to get everyone together and tell them what's going on. There's gonna be a war."

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I wait outside in the cold night, my jacket wrapped tightly around me as I wait. It's been a few hours and the sun has only just set. It's so cold out that my breath becomes visible in the night time air. I have the gun slung across my back and binoculars in my hand. I'm up in the guard tower so that I can have a better view for when he comes home.

I bite my lip nervously when I see a movement down by the fence. I pull the binoculars up and I look through them and I see him making his way inside the fence line. I go down the stairs and out of the guard tower to open up the gate for him. I notice that his posture is hunched, his walk slow and defeated and I have an idea of what's happened which causes my heart to tear in two.

I open up the gate and he walks through, me closing it quickly behind him. I turn and face him and see the broken expression on his face. I walk forward and place my hand on his cheek, looking up into his eyes. They lock with mine and I see the grief and loss in them. My bottom lip trembles as he his vulnerability shines through and he lets out a choked sob.

I pull his head down and his buries his face in my neck, his arms holding onto me tightly while I hold him against me. My short and skin becomes soaked with his tears but I barely notice. Tears begin to slide down my cheeks and I look up towards the night time sky, the Stars looking back at us. My heart aches in utter pain as I think of Merle. I loved him very much, he was family.

When I thought I lost him before, it was extremely hard and difficult for the both of us. But it's nothing like this, this is the worst news we could get. He sacrificed himself for us, not just for Daryl and I but for all of us. He wasn't always the nicest person but he always took care of his own. And now the thought of him not being here anymore, especially after we only just got him back...

I let out a shaky breath and hold my broken man, trying to be strong for him. This loss will affect us all, but it will spur us in to fight. The Governor has taken so much away from us that he isn't never going to get away with it. We're gonna fight him. We're gonna kill him. And we're gonna win.