Part 43

The next morning, Beyonce woke up first and rushed Ryan out of her room. The younger girl was exhausted, her hair messy and her body still spent from last night.

But she lazily left the room, rushing back to the guest room Beyoncé had made up for her. Ryan was too asleep to think about it, just following instructions and leaving before Brooke could wake up.

But once Beyoncé got up and started getting ready, all she could think about was Ryan's lips on hers. She'd forgotten how good it felt to touch her, how much her body reacted in the younger girls presence. She washed off all traces of Ryan in the shower. And she wanted to wash her hair too but she didn't have any time for that. The decorators were coming later and the house had to be acceptable for when they got there.

She spent the morning cleaning and, once again, regretting her decision to reduce the cleaners hours. She was not used to doing all this work. She didn't know how anyone was expected to clean a house this big, especially with all the dusting.

A knock on the study room door startled her and she looked up to see Brooklyn holding a plate. "Morning mom," she kissed her cheek. "Made you breakfast."

Beyoncé smiled warm accepting the plate, "thank you Brooke bag."

"You're welcome. I figured you probably didn't eat."

Beyoncé nibbled her lip guiltily, "you know me well."

"Yeah anyways I'm gonna go see dad in a minute."

Beyoncé had to control her reaction and instead just raised her brows to ask. "He's here?"

"Yeah he wanted to see me apparently. He's at some far hotel though so it should be fine with... you know," Brooke shrugged. She didn't really know how to talk to either of them about each other so she just avoided it as much as she could. "Unless you need me here?"

"No I'm good my love, let me know when you're coming back. If you need food or if there's anything I can do."

Brooke shrugged. "I'll just eat whatever snacks you get for tomorrow."

"No you won't," Beyoncé looked horrified. She wasn't putting all this effort in for there to not be enough food for everyone tomorrow. She barely even knew how many people were actually coming anymore. Solange still hadn't confirmed her flight which also meant Julez was a maybe, her mom was a constant maybe, Michelle said she was bringing a friend, and Chris hadn't said anything about whether or not his kids were coming.

"It's alright mom I'll just order or something," she laughed. Beyoncé liked to stress herself out and Brooke was used to it by now.

Finally, the decorating team arrived and started to set things up, Beyoncé telling them where to put things and making sure the house was absolutely perfect for tomorrow. It wasn't so much decorations, more so covering up her expensive furniture and protecting all the fragile things that Angies kids liked to mess with. And they put up some red white and blue bunting.

It took about 3 hours for them to leave, making sure everything was appropriately displayed so Beyoncé wouldn't have any trouble with it in the morning.

Finally, Ryan knocked on her door, awkwardly. She'd been avoiding leaving the guest room she was in, except to shower and to eat something earlier, but now she wanted to talk to Beyoncé. They couldn't keep avoiding this.

"Come in," Ryan heard that accent stroke her ears. "Oh hey Ryan," Beyoncé looked around checking if her kid was with her.

"Brooke went to her dad's," Ryan explained.

"I know," Beyoncé paused, placing her book down on her bed. She was reading one of her old psychology textbooks. "You didn't go with her?"

"She knows how I feel about men."

Beyoncé laughed as Ryan entered the room slowly leaving the door open as she walked inside. "So how are you Ryan?" Beyoncé asked easily, her body relaxing into the younger one's presence.

"I'm good," Ryan shrugged. "Sorry I really tried to get out of coming but Brooke was..."

"Yeah it's hard to say no to a pregnant girl who's gotten used to getting her own way."

"Yeah," Ryan smiled. "A-are you sure it's okay that I'm here?"

"Yeah... I mean it's not ideal under the circumstances but just try not to give anything away and we'll be good," Beyoncé's eyes settled on Ryan's mouth waiting for her to speak again.

Ryan nodded. She was on her best behaviour now considering how much she'd messed up before. She didn't want to irritate Beyoncé and have Brooke finding out the truth. She still felt a little bit bad about how she told Brooke in the first place.

"Come here honey, I-" Beyoncé hesitated as Ryan sat on the corner of the bed. "How have you been?" Her eyes lit up, though her voice still shook. She wanted to know everything, wanted to know if Ryan was doing good, if she was okay, what she was up to. She still cared about her even if it was complicated. Ryan was someone she'd been incredibly close to not that long ago.

"Yeah I'm okay," Ryan caught her up, talking about her life, leaving out the details of how her sex and dating life was messed up. Beyoncé just nodded and listened. She was so proud of her but she didn't think she should say that. "What about you Bey?"

Beyoncé tucked her lips in. "Um you know, it's pretty much the same. Different clients, same stuff. I've just been focused on Brooke and the baby, you know?"

"What about you though?" Ryan pushed.

"What about me?"

"I mean you're about to be a grandma, h—"

"Don't remind me," she rolled her eyes.

"Brooke seems so happy though."

"Yeah..." Beyoncé sighed. All she wanted was for her kid to be happy but damn she didn't want any of this at all. It felt like she was preparing to have another child.

Ryan eyed her carefully. She didn't want to overstep or anything. "I still can't believe she's keeping it. When she told me I thought..." She stopped herself. They'd never got a chance to speak about it before everything happened so she didn't really know where Beyoncé stood on it.

"Me too," Beyoncé sighed. "I feel bad because I wanted her to get rid of it. I know it's her choice but I just didn't want her to go through this."

"I get it, you probably wanted her to wait for that kind of stuff."

"You know, I think I'm still in shock honestly. She's so young and I know she thinks she's grown but she's just a baby. She's not had the kind of experiences that make you grow up fast like I had. And that's what I wanted for her. I always wanted her to have a better life but it feels like she's rebelling," Beyoncé sighed. "I don't get it. She's had a mom and dad her whole life — we're not perfect but she got so much more than what we had. I just don't understand. She's not ready for all that comes with having a baby. I don't want her to grow up so fast if she doesn't have to."

"But it's not up to you. You have to let her do her own thing."

Beyoncé's brows twitched."I'm trying. I just don't have to like it."

Ryan shrugged, "it'd probably be better if you did though. She clearly wants this baby."

Beyoncé rolled her eyes. "Like I said I'm trying."

"I'm not gonna tell you how to parent," Ryan threw her hands up. It was none of her business at the end of the day. And honestly it looked like Beyoncé was doing a better job now than she had been before. The two seemed closer. Even if Brooke did seem a little bit annoyed. "But it seems like she just wants your respect."

A soft smile curled at the corners of Beyoncé's lips. She didn't mind hearing Ryan's opinions. In fact, they were very welcome. Even the ones she disagreed with.

They'd both been inching closer to each other over the course of this conversation and now Beyoncé had her fingers on Ryan's leg. It was a small simple touch, her fingers grazing the outline of Ryan's shorts.

Beyoncé hadn't realised how good she'd look in summer, wearing these smaller clothes, the barely there clothes that hung off of her body and made Beyoncé want to touch her. She was tempting without even trying.

"You're touching me again," Ryan said looking down at where her hand sat on her skin. They were slow movements, the tracing of outlines, light scratches, her short acrylics moving slowly against her skin.

"Hm," Beyoncé didn't want to acknowledge it. Acknowledging it made it real and she didn't want to do that.

"Hm." Ryan agreed. But they needed to talk about this. "Beyoncé I can't— I don't want to do this again if you're not all in. Last night was nice but you know how I feel. I just- I can't."

Beyoncé swallowed and their eyes met, Ryan almost drowning in those deep hazel pools of vision. "Honey?"

Ryan's brows raised and she nodded. Beyoncé had been so stingy with that word lately, withholding it from Ryan like she didn't want her to feel it. "Yes?" Ryan breathed.

"Your feelings weren't completely one sided," Beyoncé breathed out the words simply.

Ryan rolled her eyes, "what are you saying?"

"I'm saying..." she paused gathering her thoughts. "You slept with someone else," her eyes grew shimmery. She looked so hurt that Ryan almost felt guilty.

Almost.

"You didn't?" She asked, raising a brow. Beyoncé was always so horny, she didn't believe that she hadn't been having sex. It had been months. Did she want Ryan to believe she'd been sexless all this time?

Beyoncé shook her head. All those months and she still hadn't been touched. Even that last time when she'd sank her fingers into Ryan desperately, she'd gone home and used those fingers on herself. Her body craved Ryan. No one made her feel how Ryan did. Even over text Ryan's pull on her was just so strong.

"Oh." Ryan swallowed, "I didn't think we would ever— you seemed so mad," Ryan explained. Beyoncé didn't have a right to be mad at her for this. She'd left her, told her it all meant nothing. If anything, she'd pushed Ryan to sleeping with someone else.

"I was— I am, I—" Beyoncé swallowed, her brows knitting together sharply.

"Bey," Ryan's voice smoothed over her skin, soft like lotion.

Beyoncé looked up at her, her eyes wide and bright, the golden brown glinting brightly in her irises.

"Don't be mad at me."

Beyoncé softened, "I'm not mad." She said.

"You a—"

Beyoncé pressed a finger to her lips, "I'm not mad, I'm hurt. It's different." Beyoncé knew she had no right to be mad, maybe even had no right to be hurt. But she was hurt and that wasn't easy for her to admit.

Ryan looked down at the floor and Beyoncé raised a brow examining her eyes.

"I didn't mean to hurt you." Ryan spoke honestly about the situation. She'd slept with Gabby because Beyoncé had hurt her. She needed someone to make her forget. Gabrielle had done that. And it had worked.

"I know," she nodded slowly and lifted Ryan's face and then she pressed her lips to Ryan's.

Ryan fell into her easily. Too easily. Their chemistry was undeniable. It was impossible for Ryan to say no when she touched her. Impossible when Beyoncé's perfume filled her nostrils. Impossible when all she wanted was Beyoncé.

The blonde one pulled her in close again. Ryan licked the spit from her tongue and the two pressed together making out again. Beyoncé held her closer, gripping her ass and Ryan let out a moan louder than before.

"I missed making you moan honey," Beyoncé heard the sound caress her ears. She loved having Ryan close to her as she breathed into her mouth before slowly pulling away. "I wanna see what other sounds you can make for me, okay?" She told the younger girl, tapping her thigh.

Ryan found herself fully naked and bent over Beyoncé's bed once again. This time Beyoncé had a paddle in one of her hands. It was black and leather with a red heart on the handle that fit into her hands perfectly.

Beyoncé ran her other hand along the length of Ryan's body. "You're so beautiful Ry Ry," Beyoncé bit her lip as she swung the paddle.

Ryan moaned out in pleasure. She didn't scream just moaned. She'd forgotten how good Beyoncé could make her hurt. How her clit would jump in reaction to the pain.

"Did you like that baby? You're being such a good girl for me," Beyoncé bit her lip seeing Ryan shudder. And then she kissed her shoulder, waiting for a response.

"Yes," Ryan hissed, her body melting into Beyoncé's touch. She was finally being touched again in a way that made her body light up, each cell becoming aroused. Nobody hurt her like Beyoncé did.

"Mmm tell me you're gonna keep being good for me honey," Beyoncé swallowed, remembering how much this turned her on. Contrary to how it sounded, Ryan's pain wasn't always the turn on. It was Ryan's desire for the pain, how it made her body react. How beautiful she looked falling apart in her arms.

Ryan paused and raised a brow. Beyoncé's tongue was running down her spine now. She was already halfway there. It was the way Beyoncé spoke, and the way she touched her always leaving a piece of herself all over Ryan. The way she became completely invested in Ryan's pleasure and nothing else.

Ryan didn't say anything. She wanted to test the waters, to see how Beyoncé would treat her now. If she would hurt her, really hurt her. Even better than before. Or if she would beg her to be good, tongue between her thighs licking until Ryan's apology dripped all over her face.

Beyoncé tucked her lip in between her teeth. She didn't expect that to turn her on too. "You don't wanna be mamas good girl, honey?" Her eyes darkened.

Ryan shook her head, her face still buried in the mattress, waiting for Beyoncé's reaction to her refusal. Her pussy throbbing with anticipation.

"Oh," Beyoncé bit her lip even harder. "Bad girls get punished, you know that?" She swung the paddle again, Ryan's ass burning red as the sting rippled through her. It was a low burning on her skin that made her pussy throb in response.

"You wanna be punished baby?" Beyoncé raised a brow, teeth digging into her lower lip.

Ryan hissed, heat pooling between her thighs. She took a beat to respond, her answer sounding more like a moan when it came. "Mmm—," she moaned, not quite a yes. But that was exactly what she wanted. More punishments that made her cry and cum even harder.

"Is that a yes?" The older one smirked, dimple popping out. Beyoncé couldn't stop touching her, and listening to her breathing with every touch. Obsessed wouldn't even begin to describe how she felt. "Does mommy's bad girl want to be punished?" She asked.

Ryan's breath hitched as her fingers tightened on the sheets. She wanted to say no. She should say no if the stinging rolling down her thighs meant anything. "Yes," she whispered, her lips betraying her body.

"What was that?" Beyoncé smirked, running her manicured nails along Ryan's back, teasing her, dragging up over her skin so Ryan could feel her.

Ryan held firm to the sheets beneath her, breathing heavily, her whole body feeling everything. Beyoncé had heard her, she knew she had.

"Hm baby?" She whispered in Ryan's ear, breath warm against her face. Her voice hummed wrapping around Ryan's lips, "you want mommy to show you what she does to bad girls?"

Ryan didn't say anything then, just breathed, already anticipating the pain and whether it would make her pussy wetter.

Beyoncé swung the paddle down hard on her ass again. This time Ryan jumped. It stung causing the skin on her ass to burn beneath her gaze. Beyoncé watched her body as the sting seemed to ripple through her, a darkened red forming on her ass.

Beyoncé leaned over and whispered in her ear again, "you like that baby? Tell me you like it."

"I— B-Bey please." Ryan begged. This was so embarrassing. She knew Beyoncé could see her thighs glistening. She was getting off on being spanked and Beyoncé was getting off on watching her.

Beyoncé spanked her again, "tell me. Tell mommy you're her slut."

"Mm," Ryan whimpered.

Another spank, "say it."

"Please—"

Another spank sent waves of hurt through her, settling between her thighs causing Ryan to let out a deeper moan.

"Look at you moaning. It's turning you on isn't it," Beyoncé noticed the way Ryan's breathing stilled, the way the tiny hairs on her skin started to raise. "It makes you wet having mommy punish you like this doesn't it?" She asked seeing the shine drip down Ryan's thighs.

"B-Bey—"

"Shhh honey, tell me you're mamas little whore."

Ryan moaned still not saying a word. Beyoncé shuddered, watching what this was doing to her. "Look at you, you're making a mess," she smirked reaching a hand between Ryan's legs.

Ryan moaned. The way Beyoncé spoke made her nervous, which only turned her on even more. A finger touched her swollen clit and she moaned, as Beyonce stroked between her thighs making her whole body hotter.

"Shit Bey sh-shit—"

Beyoncé pulled her hand away striking her again, this time with her palm watching as Ryan twitched on the bed. The sting was different then - more personal. She loved it.

"Stay right there," Beyoncé licked her lips and placed her head between Ryan's legs, on her knees kissing her thighs and licking every drip of her essence. Ryan tasted so damn good. Even better when she was trembling like this.

"A-ah," the pain only turned Ryan on more. She could still feel the heat from each slap as Beyoncé's tongue explored her, starting to suck on her clit.

"Oh you taste so good babygirl," Beyoncé moaned again, licking up and over her opening. Ryan was dripping down her face. All these months apart made her taste even better as Beyoncé spread her even wider with just her mouth pressing into her.

Ryan hummed. She was soaking her lips, spreading her essence all over her and she couldn't stop. Just like Beyoncé couldn't stop trying to please her.

"Oh fuckkk," she moaned out, her body twitching. Her face still pressed into the mattress as Beyoncé's tongue ran along her most intimate parts.

Then Beyoncé gripped her ass even tighter, highlighting the stinging that was present on her ass. Ryan moaned, arching into her mouth. Beyoncé was doing this for her own pleasure and it showed.

She spanked her again.

"Fuckkkk," Ryan cried out and Beyoncé did it again. Then again. Then again until Ryan was clutching at the sheets. "Please- p-please," she moaned, and Beyoncé put her tongue back inside of her. The pain and pleasure merging in her body.

Ryan hummed rolling her hips. The heat from being spanked only made this feel better. She was going to cum. She was so close. She rolled her hips and jolted-

Then they heard the front door open and they both jumped apart, running for the bathroom. "Shit," Beyoncé hissed turning on water the to wash her face. "Take a shower honey," Beyoncé said swallowing and closing the bathroom door behind her.

She quickly sprayed some air freshener and hid the paddle. Then she climbed under the bedsheets throwing picking up her book again and pretending to read.

They hadn't exactly shut the door so Brooke's footsteps could be heard through the house. Eventually she got upstairs, "hey mom." She said crinkling her nose a little when she walked inside her room.

"Hi Brooke, how was it?"

"Good, he got me some stuff for the baby, you wanna see?" Brooklyn dumped out a gift bag full of soft toys. Beyoncé just smiled in response, this baby was becoming more and more real.

"That's nice," Beyoncé said absently. "Did he get you anything practical?"

Brooklyns face dropped. "Mom it's just gifts."

"I was just asking," she rolled her eyes. Beyoncé looked at the gifts on the bed then deciding then that Brooke would have to do the rest of her baby shopping on her own. She had no idea how much she needed to get, or how expensive it all was. But Brooke thought she didn't have to worry about any of it because mommy and daddy would do it for her.

Beyoncé decided in that moment that Shawn could pay for it all. Or Levi, who seemed to be talking to Brooke more and more often.

Brooke sat and talked excitedly on the bed. She had plans for this baby and she was excited.

Levi was determined to help as much as he could and he'd been calling her everyday and trying to be supportive. Brooke still acted annoyed by his very existence but Beyoncé could tell she liked him underneath it all.

"Why do you put that poor boy through so much?"

"What'd you mean? We're not together."

"I know that but that doesn't mean you have to act like he can't help. Let him go to an appointment with you, stop bringing me all the time."

Brooke rolled her eyes. "Okay mom fine," she said.

Beyoncé just chuckled. Brooke wanted him there but wanted to pretend like she didn't. "Next time?"

Ryan emerged from the shower in one of Beyoncé's pale cream towels. They both looked up, Beyoncé's eyes lowering as she breathed in through her nose trying not to take in the sight. Ryan's skin was glowing, her face and shoulders wet as the towel covered up the rest of her body, the soft white contrasting with the deep brown of her skin.

"How come you're in here?" Brooke asked. She had the shower next to her room.

Ryan looked to Beyoncé, silently asking her to answer. She couldn't think of an excuse quickly enough. She would've ended up telling the truth.

Finally Beyoncé snapped out of her daze, left hand running through her hair. "The hot water was playing up so I said she could use mine."

"Oh you could've used mine."

"Your bathrooms always a mess," Beyoncé raised a brow. "Last time I went in there I could barely see the floor."

Brooke rolled her eyes and Ryan smirked a little. "I'm gonna go get changed." She said disappearing from the room.

They both paused, Beyoncé still lost in Ryan's light. She was just so easy to like. She'd missed everything about Ryan and now she was back in her house. The two of them... and Brooke.

"Thanks for being nice to her mom," Brooke said and Beyoncé bristled looking over at her daughter.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Brooke shrugged, "I didn't know how you feel about her since she said that thing."

Beyoncé's face heated up and she ran that hand through her hair again, "uh it doesn't really matter anymore does it? You two are friends again." Beyoncé replied.

"Yeah she'll never be my best friend again, but you know," Brooke shrugged and Beyoncé hummed.

It was late now and none of them had eaten. Brooke decided to order for the three of them and later they all found themselves making their way to the movie room whilst they waited on the Chinese to get delivered.

Beyoncé remembered just in time to hide the cushions Ryan had got for her, tossing them quickly into the cabinet. She hadn't been able to bring herself to throw them out yet. They looked so cute among the other decor, and she remembered how she'd felt when she first saw them, how they had made her picture shared moments, matching pyjamas, kisses under mistletoe, all that stuff that she never cared about before. Ryan just understood her in a way no one else did.

Brooke picked Scary Movie, casting it on her phone since her mom literally only used this tv for DVDs. Ryan laughed at the fuss she made, telling her mom to get with the times, as Ryan settled onto this sofa that she'd once slept on with Beyoncé. This time she sat at the far end of the sofa while Beyoncé sat on the corner end, with Brooke cross legged in the middle. It was surprisingly comfortable, even if they did keep sneaking glances at each other.

But Brooke kept moving, struggling to get comfortable with her new larger stomach in the way. Eventually she was on the floor with a cushion beneath her legs and another behind her which actually helped.

Then the doorbell rang and Brooke jumped up to get it. She was the most hungry out of the three.

Beyoncé and Ryan looked at each other silently communicating with their eyes. Beyoncé's hand reached over to her and Ryan spoke.

"We should be on an island somewhere with my head between your legs," she said lazily.

Beyoncé let out a breath, somewhere between a giggle and a sigh as she looked over at Ryan. She was still in her sweatsuit while Ryan was in another pair shorts. Beyoncé wanted to take them off of her. "Hm like a private island?"

"I was just thinking like the Caribbean but sure," Ryan said, still too far away from the other woman.

"Oh you would love Aruba, have you ever been?"

Ryan shook her head. She'd only left the country once and that was a family trip when she was 11.

"I have to take you, they have all that nature stuff you like. They're famous for the flamingos."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I probably have some old pictures somewhere from the first time I went. We went to flamingo island, those things are creepy."

"You're scared of everything."

"At least I'm not scared of water," Beyoncé raised a brow, that same teasing smirk resting on her face.

"I'm not scared of water, I'm scared of boats that could crash or break or drown—"

"So we could do a yacht?" Beyoncé smiled already planning it in her mind. She loved being on yachts, something about the middle of the ocean put her at ease.

"You hate me."

"No I don't, I love you," the words flowered effortlessly from her lips to Ryan's ears.

Ryan took a second to process it all. "You love me?" Ryan asked, eyes snapping away from the tv and towards her face.

"I do," Beyoncé breathed, softly.

Ryan stopped inching closer, simply grinning from ear to ear at Beyoncé's confession. She'd been waiting to hear that for months.

"Say it again."

"I love you, Ryan."

Ryan's grin grew even wider. "Now you have to take me to the Caribbean so you can tell me that in different countries."

"I'll take you anywhere you wanna g—"

Brooke walked in cutting Beyoncé off, "foods here!"

She began setting down takeaway boxes, beside a tub of ice cream, and handing out cutlery as the whole vibe of the room shifted. Ryan kept sneaking glances at Beyoncé and Beyoncé barely looked away from Ryan. Scary Movie played in the background but neither of them were paying any attention.

Brooke ended up dipping all her food in the ice cream, which they both thought was disgusting. When Ryan said something, Brooke looked to her mom to defend her. But Beyoncé just said her pregnancy cravings had never been that crazy and that there was something wrong with her.

That night they went to sleep in separate rooms but Beyoncé and Ryan couldn't stop thinking about each other.

———————————[A/N]Awww yay. Y'all happy we making lemonade now? Thoughts on any of those conversations? Bey loves her? Bey being hurt Ryan slept with someone else?

Bey and Ryan's chat about Brooke? Brooke going to her dad's? Brooke and Bey seem to be getting on

Any predictions?

Timelines are going to be off from now and I decided I do not care 😭 please understand this might be a 5 day weekend and it just is what it is. I was so close to just making up a holiday until I remembered y'all have the 4th of July 😭😭 just imagine it's like Easter where you have Good Friday and Easter Monday