Chapter 1

IMAGE IS NOT MINE!

TW: Self harm, alcohol, yelling, blood

22:00, Alhaithams POV

I walked into Lambards Tavern. I looked around and there he was. 

"Kaveh...?" I walked up to him and sat next to him by the counter. He looked really drunk and miserable. Then he looked up at me, his eyes puffy and red and started crying again.

"Shhh... I'm so sorry Kaveh... Let it all out..." I hugged him feeling really bad, that was definetly the worst argument we had. I also mentioned his past which I deeply regret now.

Kaveh hold tight onto me, burying his head into my shoulder. I rubbed his back and waited until he calmed down. I payed for his drinks and try and help him up. But of course he was too drunk to walk so I sighed and carried him home.

On my way there I realised he had fallen asleep. Although I wanted to wake him up and make him walk,I found myself feeling something.

We both arrived home and once I was inside I walked up to Kavehs room and layed him down on his bed. He looked so peaceful... 

The fight popped inside of my head again...

A few hours ago...

"I'M JUST SICK, KAVEH! WHY DON'T YOU EVEN TRY?! NO WONDER YOUR CLIENTS ARE ALWAYS UNSATISFIED WITH YOUR WORK! IF YOU CONTINUE LIKE THAT YOU'LL END UP JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER"

I regretted those words instantly.

Kaveh just looked at me. Hurt, with teary eyes.

Before I could say anything he stormed out of the house, slamming the door.

"Fuck" I mumbled.

I messed up bad. My thoughts started racing. I had gone to far mentioning his mom. I masaged my temples, thinking of a solution.

I knew he would probably go to the tavern and drink his thoughts away so I decided to let him cool down there to later pick him up...

Back to the present...

I took Kavehs shoes off, hoping I wasn't going to wake him up. Then I carefully slid off Kavehs cape and put it over the backrest of his desk chair. Then I saw in the bin something that turned my world upside down.

The trashcan was full of bloddy tissues.

Really bloody tissues...

And then I noticed a cutter hidden between all the bloody stuff...

He didn't, right? He possibly wasn't hurting himself, right?!

I looked back at him, sleeping in his bed. Then I imagined Kaveh with the cutter and the image horrified me.

For once, I didn't know what to do. How was I going to help him? I'm not good at expresing my feelings or worse, understanding others. 

He looked so- so- normal right now... How?

I wanted to apologise. We once were friends... how did it end like this? There was so much I wanted to say...

Something warm started rolling down my cheeks. Was I crying...?

I quickly wiped my tears away and left Kavehs room. That night I couln't sleep, thinking about what happened.

The next morning, Kavehs POV

I woke up to a terrible hangover. My head felt like it was ready to explode and my arms  hurt. That brought me back to the fight yesterday. I couldn't help but tear up again, wishing I never had woken up in the first place.

Alhaitham had to carry me home. I had bothered him again...

I truly am useless...

My stomach rumbled and I was about to stand up to go to the kitchen when my thoughts interrupted me.

"You don't deserve to eat."

"You're wasting food that another person could have"

They're right. I won't have breakfast.

I decided to take a cold shower to wake me up. As I was about to step into the shower, I saw my refection in the mirror.

My body was even more skinny than before, since I often skipped meals. My arms were full of fresh and healed cuts everywhere. I honestly don't remember when I started self-harming but it had become my coping-mechaninsm ever since.

My usually silky blonde hair had lost its shine and the light in my eyes was gone... The sight of myself made me tear up again. 

I'm such a drama queen.

I quickly took the shower and dissapeared in my room again.

Alhaithams POV

While in the kitchen, I heard the shower running. I quickly figured out it was Kaveh and I sort of wanted to talk to him about what happened.

I tried finding a way of how I could start the conversation, without upsetting him or making it worse, but I couldn't think of anything...

I glanced at the time.

Fuck, I have to go to the Akademiya, but I don't want to leave Kaveh alone right now. Not at his current state. Finally decided to call in sick just to make sure that Kaveh was allright. I'm definetly not the type to lie and I also didn't know why I suddenly cared so much about Kaveh but it felt right and I didn't want to loose him...

As the morning slowly transformed into afternoon I noticed Kaveh didn't came out to eat or snack. Usually I would shrugg it off, but knowing his current mental state it was starting to worry me.

I decided to make him some warm soup, his favourite, wondering how I even knew about that.

Have I always cared so much about him?

After the soup was warm I put it on a tray and walked up to Kavehs room, then knocking on the door.

Kavehs POV

I heard a knock on my door. 

Wasn't Alhaitham working? 

I stood up from my desk, where I had been sketching for some project and opened the door to see Alhaitham with a tray with soup in his hands.

Why had he done that? Why had he bother to make something for me?

The soup looked really good. I wanted to say something but Alhaitham spoke first.

"You haven't had anything today and you cannot die of starvation... You still owe me the rent"

I stared up at him. I hadn't had payed him rent in months. I knew that was just an excuse. Although that meant that he actually did it just for me...

"T-thanks..." I took the tray and left it on my desk "You didn't have to th-"

I got cut off when Alhaitham hugged me.

What? He? Alhaitham hugging me?

That caught me really off guard but I felt myself feeling better. 

I stayed in his warm embrace as my thoughts started racing. My face was heating up and at the same time I felt like crying. 

A part of me wanted to let it all out, but another was holding me back. At the end I just closed my eyes, enjoying that feeling of comfort...

Alhaitham POV

I honestly didn't know what had come over me when I hugged Kaveh. When he hugged me back I felt my heart skip a beat. We just stayed like that for a short while and I could feel Kaveh relax into the hug.

Phew, I've done the right thing.

When we separated Kaveh had that shine in his eyes again. It was kind of akward afterwards...

"If you need anything I'm in my room" and with that I left his room, a faint blush spreading in my face once I was out of sight.

"Alhaitham snap out of it!" I told myself, not really knowing what that weird feeling was.

Kavehs POV

Even though it pained me to admit it the soup was delicious. The fact that Alhaitham made it just for me left a bittersweet sensation to me.

It made me feel loved and save, but at the same time he had made sure I didn't starve myself. (Aka he had to worry about me)

God why are my thoughts so complicated. As I finished my soup all of my thoughts started being about Alhaitham. Unconciously I took my sketchbook and started drawing him, to the point I filled half the book.

I just fucking spent two hours drawing him.

Tired and scared of facing my true feelings about him, I tossed the sketchbook into a corner. Then I plopped into bed with no motivation whatsoever and just stared at the wall.

Another hour passed and I wanted to do something, but the thought of going out of the room and have a possible encounter with Alhaitham held me back.

I managed to leave my bed again. It was 17:00.

I looked at my now slightly damaged sketchbook, picked it up and flicked through its content. Some architectal projects, some silly doodles, some sketches of buildings (principally the palace of Alcazarzarai, my magnum opus) and then Alhaitham.

I drew him in diferent perspectives, poses and he actually looked good.

My face started heating up and a smile formed on my lips, but my thoughts inmidiately came back.

"Kaveh snap out of it!"

"He will never like you back"

"He's the acting grand sage and you're just a stupid, sensible, poor architect"

"You don't deserve him"

"He's too good for you"

I sighed and closed the book.

They're right...

Then I heared a knock on my door again...

Authors Note: 

Ahhhh my first Kavehtham fanfic!!

I love them both so so so much!! (They're my favourite genshin ship)

I'll post the second part inmidiately since I have so much ideas of how to continue thissss✨✨✨✨

Thanks for readingg🫶🫶

Also I don't have Kaveh and I NEED him. So I just pull everytime I have a wish (on both banners) with the hope he'll come home.

But guess what...

I GOT AYATO EARLY😭😭😭

I WANTED TO LOOSE THE 50/50 FOR A POSSIBLE QIQI (Yes I want her) AND GUARANTEE ME A RAIDEN😭😭😭😭😭

Mihoyo loves me😻😻

Anyways, how did your pulls go? Tell me!!✨

Thanks for reading againnnn!

-Ju❤️