29; suffer willingly

[important authors note at the end]

Just to Clarify; Bella Swan fights dirty.

"I'm sorry," the brunette winces in the plastic seat in the hospital waiting room, chin tucking into the collar of her red sweater- one of Eli's, if he recalls.

Her words are guilty, but Eli knows she doesn't regret her decision of ringing his parents and 'casually' informing them how Carlisle wants to take over Eli's medical case. Of course, his mom jumped at the offer. She's hoped and spoken of nothing all morning other than the fact the brilliant doctor could offer some other advice to save her son. Meaning no moving states. No leaving forks in general.

Elias glares at her coldly. "You knew I didn't want to stay here and you took the chance from me," he seethes.

"Actually," Cassandra interrupts, flashing Bella a lax smile from where she's sat next to Elias. "I took the chance from you, if we're being specific."

Elias glares at her too. "You don't talk to me either," he frowns, ignoring the way his mom smirks to herself.

"Elias, come on you-" Bella starts speaking but cuts herself off when someone else in the hallways looks over. She ducks in her seat, leaning into her friends shoulder as she drops her volume to a whisper, "you couldn't just up and leave in the middle of the night and you knew it."

"I would have," he prompts seriously, looking back at his mom, "if someone didn't steal my passport, my driving licence and my wallet."

She grins as she texts. "I also hid all of your shoes so you couldn't run anywhere," she adds.

Elias exhales heavily, practically shooting daggers with his eyes. Bella places a delicate hand on his arm, "listen to me... and stop glaring."

Eli huffs, but ultimately relaxes his expression to comply. "What?" He turns, still holding onto his attitude despite looking relaxed.

"Don't you think you're letting your anger at Jasper rule your decisions?" She says more than asks, moving her hand onto his and squeezes for a moment since his face twists into pain. "And I mean this from the kindest part of my heart, but I don't think you are thinking clearly. I just didn't want you to be brash and regret anything you did."

Damn Bella Swan and her clear logic and ability to see past my bullshit.

"Well," Eli starts with pursed lips, not wanting to be outright and admit she was right, "I'm sorry I don't want to die in a rainy depressing town whilst constantly seeing someone I love and can't have."

Bella flinches at the mention of his death. The guilt can't form quick enough for Elias- he didn't like mentioning his upcoming end so easily around anyone. It felt...ruthless. And not in the ways he likes to be ruthless.

"Sorry," he whispers, squeezing her hand back.

She doesn't acknowledge his apology- only tilts her head higher and says to him strongly, "You can have Jasper, Elias, you just need to trust him. And when you trust him, you know you can change your mind and ask him to change you and he'd agree."

"Trust," he mocks, tongue running over his teeth as he replays her words, "I'd rather go bungee jumping with the rope attached to my ball sack."

"Elias?" The clear and soothing voice of Carlisle Cullen calls his name as Bella starts to cringe in her seat, looking absolutely disgusted with him.

Elias stands up before the other two woman can. "Both of you stay here, you can't come in," he orders when they go to follow him.

Elias walks into the scanning room after Carlisle, the frown still stitched into his features despite the way Carlisle smiles brilliantly at him. "Okay Elias, you can-"

"- I know what to do," he interrupts, jumping to sit on the long bed and holding out his right arm for the contrast IV to be injected.

"Of course," Carlisle corrects himself, and Eli is too busy looking at the bracelet on his wrist to notice where Carlisle goes but suddenly he's standing in front of Elias with the IV, ready to be injected. "If I recall, you aren't afraid of needles?"

"I'm not," Eli tells, but turns his head to the left and focuses on the screening room attached to the scanning room they're in as Carlisle injects him, "I just can't watch them go in, it's gives me chills."

Carlisle hums, the coldness of his delicate touch distracting him from the slight sting. "I hope I didn't intrude when I offered to take over your case," he says, polite but fragile in fear of already overstepping boundaries with the human.

Eli goes to shrug but thinks better of it since the needles still in him. "It's fine," he says, meaning it. He turns back to look at the older man, giving him a tight smile. Eli isn't furiously mad at him now, not since his never ending kindness makes it hard to stay mad. Not since he had the night to think things through properly. "At least I don't have to be on edge about someone worrying why I'm so warm I should technically be hospitalised."

Carlisles golden brows pull together as he presses the back of his hand against Eli's forehead. "You aren't warm," he notes in surprise. His eyes light up- always the one for learning something new. "How?"

"I can force my body temperature to drop. I do it whenever I'm having scans, or injections, or anything hospital related just in case it fucks up the readings," Eli explains, ignoring the shiver wanting to go down his spine.

"It probably wouldn't, but I get as to why you do it," Carlisle thinks out loud, and his hand falls from Eli's forehead as contemplates. "Is it uncomfortable to do so?"

Eli can't stop the way his skin prickles in goosebumps. It feels like someone's stripping a layer of his muscle off, metaphorically. Physically, it feels like the never ending warmth lingering on the surface gets sucked away into his bones and is locked there- leaving the outside of him exposed. "It makes me feel vulnerable, I'm not used to not burning."

Carlisles expression shifts into understanding. "I'll be as quick as I can then," he promises. Eli looks away again as he pulls the IV out- shivering without permission this time. "Would you like me to put some Oasis on as you have your scan?"

Elias wants to say no, because he hasn't listened to music for months, but when he looks back Carlisle has incredibly light eyes and saying no to his kindness feels like a crime. So he nods, and Carlisle face lights up even more.

Elias relaxes back on the bed, closing his eyes so he doesn't feel so trapped as he enters the cylinder shaped machine. The electric hum of the MRI is hardly noticeable as Carlisle- stationed in a connecting room and watching through the glass- plays the music.

Elias forces himself to be still and concentrate on the music. It's nice, after so many months of ignoring songs, it's like listening to the band with new ears. If only it was with a new mind- as the minutes tick by his brain connects the songs to different memories. All of them are about one person.

By the time Champagne Supernova plays Elias is already thinking of Jasper and how the song played whilst they danced in his room.

Now I remember why I stopped listening to music, he thinks, aware of his thoughts drifting into nothingness. He doesn't care- he'd take the new re-occurring nightmare of Victoria, as long as it got him away from the memory of being in Jaspers arms.

"Elias," someone calls, the coldness of their touch sinking through Eli's sweatpants and to his shin.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," Eli says in a rough voice as soon as he's awake, sitting up from the bed. He stifles a yawn that comes out and looks at the amused doctor, "are we all done?"

"Yes, you can burn again now," Carlisle says, and it takes Elias' groggy brain a moment to realise he's teasing.

Eli pulls on the heat buried deep in his bones- its springs back to the surface of his skin and makes his muscles loosen. "That's better," he mutters, spreading his palms out, triggering a spark of heat before he extinguishes it. "What's the scans showing doc?"

Carlisles expression lifts in hope. "The tumours aren't growing as fast as Dr Snow had thought. By all means they're still increasing, but not as rapidly-" he rattles on, the words leaving his mouth getting lost on Elias as the medical terms got more complicated.

He didn't understand the words, but he knows the pictures- so Elias grabs the scan sheet out from under of Carlisle arm to take a look. The wiggle of grey and black of his brain is clear, and so is the two white splotches from the tumours.

"So, whats the word, finalised and not extremely complicated," Eli asks as he recalls the size of the tumours in the last scan two weeks ago. They weren't that different.

Carlisles hope shines brighter than his hair, "A longer life expectancy. But that's only if-"

"-if it continues to increase slowly," He finishes, handing the scan back. "Tomorrow they might double and I'd have a week left instead of months. Or in an hour I might have a brain haemorrhage and die," he frowns as he thinks of the uncertainty of it all. His heart does a stutter as the urge to panic comes before he pushes it away- he'd never been one to get caught on the details. He wouldn't start now.

Carlisle looks as discouraged as Eli feels. "Theoretically speaking, yes," he sighs, placing his hand onto Eli's shoulder tentatively, "It's never too late to start treatment."

Eli shakes his head. "I've seen people who go through chemo, they never feel the same or look the same... I just, I want to be me for as long as possible," he whispers, unable to look at the doctors golden eyes. He looks down at the squeaky white hospital floor instead.

"Have you spoken to Cassandra and David about the care that's needed, towards the end?" Carlisles voice is unsure, as if he's scared he's stepping over a boundary. When Eli doesn't react verbally, or seem to react in a motion that tells he disagrees, he continues, "Do you know if you want to be at the hospital or home?"

The teen is quiet for a moment as he thinks both scenarios over.

"I hate hospitals," Eli shivers, the urge to panic forming in his chest. That was also one of the reasons he didn't want treatment. He'd spent enough time in hospitals in his life. "...But I don't really want to be at home, I don't want them seeing me like that either. So I'm lost."

The seriousness of the conversation is suffocating. He looks up, aiming to crack the tension with a smirk, "Some animals go off into the wilderness when they're at the end. I might do that."

A unbelievable smile cracks Carlisles expression. "Please refrain from running off into the woods," he begs, and his own laugh is next as he admits, "you know we'd only go out to find you again."

"I'd go when it's raining, let my scent disappear," Eli contemplates with a narrowed look, "we can make a game of it, you know? First one to catch me gets a prize."

"Elias, as much as I'm amused by the plan, I have a another idea," Carlisle starts, face hardening. It makes him look older than he is and makes Elias stiffen. "How about when you feel like you're near the end of your life, you move to my home. You're familiar there and I have all the equipment to ensure you're safe and comfortable."

It takes a few seconds to realise exactly what he's saying and Elias almost slides off the table in shock. "Why would you offer something like that?" He whispers.

Sadness flashes across Carlisles perfect features and his hand slides to Eli's jaw, cradling it like a parent would. "Because the way we left you still haunts me and I can't help but think if I was here that I'd have been able to seen the signs and diagnose you months earlier. Possibly saving your life."

Eli's brows stitch together. "So you feel guilty?" He checks, the question sounding ludicrous coming out his mouth. "You don't have to feel guilty. It's not your fault."

"Even so," he disagrees, eyes smothering Eli's, "it's also because I love you just like any other of my children and I want to help you in every way I can."

His hands come off Eli's face and he smiles sadly. The glimmer of his white teeth flashing under the hospital lights matches his soul, in Eli's opinion.

"And you hope I'll change my mind as well," Elias adds in a mumble, because he can see it in the mans face. The urge on his tongue to persuade Eli to continue his life- as a vampire.

Carlisle nods grimly. "Yes, I don't want you to die, especially when you once wanted to carry on your life like us. But I'll respect whatever you choose regardless," he assures, and something about his tone says it's the end of the private conversation and all the heavy stuff.

By the time the appointment is over Elias head is pounding and he's glad he doesn't have to go back to school just yet. He wants to go home and to his bed and think over his options.

If only its that easy.

Elias has one hand on the door handle, ready to leave, when his ever filtering mind pushes forward that someone in the hallway has no body heat. "I swear to fuck," Eli grumbles, the rest of his words lost as he swings open the door.

Jasper greets him with a small smile.

"You shouldn't be here," Elias almost  growls.

Leaning against the hospital wall, his beautiful pale face confronts in pain and his smiles slips off. "I needed to talk to you," he announces, stepping closer to Eli.

"No," Elias hisses quietly, "I mean at a hospital when you're clearly thirsty," he snaps, pointing at Jaspers black eyes and the way his chest isn't moving so he can't breathe in any scent.

Jasper blinks once in shock, not quite believing he'd notice it that quick. "Like I said, I really want to talk to you," he repeats without guilt.

Elias feels his irritation pile up as he strips the black plaid jacket off, leaving him in a red shirt. He throws the clothing at the blond- since he knows his scent is lingering all over it and it will help him until they leave. Jasper catches it easily.

"Thank you Darlin," Jasper says, the nickname coming out naturally and adoringly.

Elias rolls his eyes, ignoring the heat forming in his chest. He mutters a small "idiot" under his breath and points towards the exit, "let's leave, now."

He follows Jasper out the hospital and towards his silver Volvo, mentally cursing Bella and his mom for being vixens and leaving and forcing him to talk to Jasper. He needs to have a serious talk to them about meddling in his life.

Jasper opens the door for Eli when they get to the car, looking graceful as ever as he waits for Eli to get in and shut it. Elias begrudgingly grumbles another, "polite idiot" under his breath and pretends not to notice how Jaspers lips twitch.

Jasper slides into the drivers seat a second after Eli, the shirt clutched preciously in his large pale hands and he's staring at it like a blind man would a sunset for the first time. Elias, forgetting his own emotions, looks at the blond with interest. It was just a shirt.

"You don't hate me," Jasper realises out loud, gazing up from the clothing and to Elias with a look that could weaken a god.

Elias swallows thickly, understanding his thought process now. Eli could have just walked them both away in that moment he entered the hallway, he could have ignored the way Jaspers was hurting. But he didn't- he stripped off the literal shirt on his back and handed it to the blond just so the minute walk into the gloomy morning weather wouldn't be as painful as it could be. "No," Eli admits quietly, "I don't hate you."

Jaspers face deepens into the pained one it's been doing ever since he came back to Forks, "You should."

"I want to," Elias lies, his heart beat giving him away. He'd never want that, even after everything. Hating him would be easier than loving him, if it was a choice that is, but even then Eli's hadn't ever taken the easy route for most options and this wasn't going to be the start.

The human sighs deeply, feeling the day weaken him down and leans his head back onto the head rest. It's natural to him- in the car, in the company- to turn and look at the drivers seat- at Jasper, properly for the first time.

Elias allows himself to see past the allure of beauty of Jasper. His eyes are deeper then Eli remembers, the bags are heavier under them like his lack of sleep is a choice. His stance and body language isn't at ease and confident like it used to- its vulnerable, yet open for conversation or confrontation. He expects it after all. Even the clothes adoring his body aren't pressed and perfect like they used to. They're wrinkled and looked like they'd been thrown on in a rush; as if Jasper had more trivial things to stress about than looking after himself.

Everywhere Elias looks- hair, eyes, shoulders, mouth- traces of Jaspers own agony, his apology, scream at Elias.

So he looks away- he'd always preferred his own pain rather than seeing it on the people he loves.

"Drive me home Jasper," he orders weakly.

Jasper doesn't start the car. Not instantly, and not in the minute Elias counts in his head. Elias turns back to look at him, to glare, when the blond opens his mouth and cuts off the swears that want to come out. "Am I allowed to come with you to future appointments?"

Elias feels his shoulders rise. Defensive. "Why?" He asks slowly.

Jaspers expression shows Eli it's obvious way before he states, "Because I care about your health and I want to be here with you."

The scoff that comes out of Eli's mouth is ridiculing- it has to be, to hide the hurt that's stinging his heart. "Could've fooled me."

Jasper swallows thickly, the motion bobbing his Adam's apple. "I care for you Elias," he declares in his voice of velvet.

Memories of that night come to mind- the woods, Bella holding him as she tells him they're gone, the feeling of his heart burning out of his body. "The past evidence says otherwise," Elias snaps, and this time it's all hurt.

Jasper leans back into his seat with a sigh. "Can you stop the attitude for one moment? I want to actually talk to you," he begs.

Elias feels his face stiffen into a nasty expression and he turns away from Jasper so he can't witness it as he tuts, "No, I might just be a dickhead for six months and not speak to you, maybe then you'll know my attitude is justified, maybe then you'll understand how I feel."

Jasper let's out a low grumble in his throat, a mix of displeased and unamused. Eli's arms prickle in goosebumps, and without meaning to, the sides of his lips twitch up as he side eyes the way Jasper shakes his head. He'd forgotten how fun it could be to frustrate the vampire.

"Do you not think I know, to some extent, how you feel?" Jasper speaks carefully through his teeth, and despite sounding angry, his words bleed out of him from a wound of his own making. Any emotion present isn't pointed at Elias- it's at himself, because he knows he caused all of this. "I longed for you Elias, every moment and every second. I feel like I can't breathe when I'm not near you."

Something warm and gentle strokes Eli's heart, something that smoothes the constant ache there until each pump in his chest feels free and equal. Eli's pushes it away and claws for the burn that used to be there- that kind of pain is easy to hold onto- it makes it easy to not feel bad when he starts to speak through his own gritted teeth. "I'm sorry if I don't sympathise with you Jasper. You suffered willingly. You're the one who left, not me, remember?"

"I know," Jasper replies instantly, and the words are strangled in anger again- anger at himself. A urge as strong as the one to breathe sweeps over Elias- to reach out, to touch, to help him. To ease the heaviness on his shoulders and smooth out the way his mouths twists down. To stop the way Jaspers starts to use his long pale fingers to pull on the roots of his honey hair.

"Alice told me what you thought..." The blond announces, taking away Eli's struggle on pulling the urge back. He looks into Jaspers eyes, urging him on, "I didn't leave because I didn't love you. I left because I loved you too much."

"You still left me Jasper," Elias shakes his head, the blond is caught up on the wrong details. "I was going to give everything up for you, I wanted to..." he trails off, lost in the memory of it all, in the feeling of it all.

"That's the problem," the blond chides.

Eli's head snaps straight as something scornful burns him from the inside. "If you didn't want me forever, you could have just said," he spits, fists clenching in his lap.

Jasper cracks a smile- he'd missed his little spitfire. "It's not that darlin," he promises, and the smile sobers up as he thinks out loud, "Alice saw you with a different future, without me, without being a vampire, once."

Elias wants to swear. Alice and her visions hindered as much as they helped recently. "And I'm sure in one of the timelines of us meeting it was because you were killing me," He sniffs without any fear. "It doesn't change shit Jasper."

It'd be an honour to die for you, he goes to say, the words carved into the darkest parts of his mind. He stops them, not out of fear or anything- he'd often said it- in those tender moments when he and Jasper talked about turning. Elias, technically, was dying for Jasper, and he wasn't ashamed of it.

The only reason he doesn't say it now is because he's scared Jasper will get the wrong idea from them- hope.

Something in the way Jaspers expression turns darker tells Eli he knows what he's thinking though- or maybe he's remembering those times too.

"It's not just that," Jasper denies, voice husky now as he speaks without room for argument. "You said no to me. The first time I asked to turn you."

Eli's eyes roll. Of course he'd gotten caught up on that. "I know."

Jasper nods, glad at the reaction of not arguing. "But then you changed your mind," he says without doubt, jaw tight, "Because I persuaded you-"

"No," Elias snaps, and for the first time his skin flares in genuine heat as his emotions- anger, shock, annoyance- abrupt so hard all he can do is stare in disbelief for a moment.

"No Jasper. I-it's, you, " he lets out a shaky breath, trying to cool down, to sort his head.

The inability to speak concerns Jasper. He inches forward, one hand going out to touch Eli's arm- to make him look into his eyes- but thinks better of it with the heat pouring off him. "Elle," he calls instead, "are you okay?"

Am I okay? Elias wants to ricochet incredulously, but his mind finally catches up to him and the words Jasper had spoken a moment ago.

"I said no the first time out of instinct. Because you dropped the idea on me without warning and because I felt like you was talking about turning me in that very moment. I had shit to do, things I wanted to plan. I was overly attached with pleasing and being there for my family because I felt like they needed me to survive. They didn't-They don't," Eli's rant falters as he remembers how... absent, he's been in the last few months. Physically and emotionally.

But, they'd survived, and now, after his death- they'd survive too. It'd hurt, but they'd learn to live without him- they didn't need him at the shop, or to look after Easton or to function as a family. All these months Elias had spent hiding and running and hurting them was preparation, in a terrible horrible way.

He shakes that thought away, not wanting to guilt and pain of it at the moment. He focuses solely on the blond who's looking at him with a indescribable kind of surprise. "I realised that, and I realised that I wanted my future with you more than I wanted anything else. I thought the trade of losing my family was worth the fact I could love and have you forever, that I could join a family that knew everything about me and accepted me. That's why I thought about turning in depth and why I said asked for it."

He turns away as his eyes sting in tears, not wanting to show how much all of it had effected him- it's a useless act, since his pain had practically painted across him the moment he'd saw Jasper again.

"I didn't know that," Jasper says, the words loaded in a apology even before he whispers, "I'm so sorry Elias. I didn't know, I'm sorry..."

Elias closes his eyes, the pure regret in every syllable of Jaspers words making it hard for Elias to hang onto any resentment. A tear falls, and he quickly wipes it away with the back of his hand.

"You never asked," Eli states simply, opening his eyes again. Jasper looks like he'd cry if physically able to. "And you never explained why you were leaving, or that you was leaving. We could have been having this conversation six months ago, but here we are," Eli waves a hand around the car half heartedly.

They both pause as the air charges with the words both of them want to continue saying- the apologies that want to fall from Jaspers lips, the argument Elias wants to drag on because as long as he's arguing he's keeping Jasper at arms length- he's keeping himself from getting hurt again.

It's a useless attempt of protecting himself- but it's all he can do. He can't totally disregard Jasper, but he can't accept him back openly either- not when the memory of him leaving rules Elias.

"I acted out of fear and quick judgment of that night and it's potentially ruined my whole future with you," Jaspers struggles for a moment- to speak, to breathe, to live. His eyes are like black holes as he looks to Elias, "You'll never understand how deeply I'll regret my actions for the rest of my life."

Elias searches his eyes for the longest time, trying to find something dishonest or something that can make him change his mind. Jasper, so perfectly balanced between understanding Elias and him being a complete mystery, remained still and let's the way his soul shine through the darkness of his irises.

"I forgive you Jasper," Elias settles on saying out loud, the anger he's been clawing at finally being let go. It's easier to breathe, and easier to look at the way happiness shines through Jasper, "because despite everyones discredit of not being able to see people's perspectives... I can understand your reasoning."

I can understand making myself miserable and breaking every promise I've ever made if there was a chance it'd make you happy. Even if it left me alone and in pain- I'd do it too.

Jaspers hands reaches out, palms cupping Eli's jaw, his fingers finding their place in the dips under his jaw and behind his ear. For a moment, Eli's heart pulses in anticipation and gut wrenching fear- He leans back from the touch, his face showing his conflict.

"I forgive you," Elias clears up, "but I can't forget what you've done. I can't just pretend this never happened and go back to how we were."

Elias imagines it- finally giving into the urge that'd been killing him the moment he saw Jasper again. He imagined reaching out, being embraced and finally feeling at home in his arms. He'd imagined how right it'd feel, and how easy it would be- he'd never leave again, and he'd never let anything take Jasper away.

Unless it was Jasper himself who left- he'd done it once- and oh god, would that kill Elias quicker than any tumour.

"I understand," Jasper nods, and there's nothing resentful within him- he saw the longing in Elias, and the fear of rejection that spiralled after it.

So where does that leave us now? Elias wants to ask, but Jasper shifts in his seat, a fire burning in his eyes. "Is it just that reasoning...or is there someone else?" He asks slowly, struggling with the idea, with asking.

Eli's grey eyes narrow despite the way his stomach turns pleasantly. "Do you really think I will ever be able to love anyone else? That I'll have the desire, the want to when their love would feel like a drop of water compared to the ocean you make me feel?" Eli scoffs.

The use of present tense isn't lost on Jasper- not if his darkening expression is anything. "No," he answers deeply, and that favourite smirk of Eli's appears, finally. "But I had to ask to not seem self righteous."

Eli's lips upturn. "Of course," he hummed, and he found he liked the idea that Jasper was possessive.

"I wouldn't have minded," Jasper clears up, forcing himself to relax in his seat as he looked Elias over, "if you moved on in any way. Love or...otherwise."

"Don't worry, I haven't been fucking anyone either," Elias scoffs out through a laugh- definitely liking the boy's possessiveness, and the pleased look in his dark eyes. Eli's still half laughing as he says. "And don't lie, I can tell when you lie, you jealous fucker."

Jaspers not even embarrassed. He only mutters in his perfect southern accent, "Guilty as charged."

Elis amusement sobers up as he thinks about it. When he speaks, it's through his own tight voice, "I wouldn't have minded, before you explained your reasoning, if you moved on. But if you're claiming to have left me out of love-"

"-It's the truth, not a claim-" Jasper tuts disapprovingly.

"-I will have a problem if you left and...moved on," Eli swallows, ignoring how his skin wants to light up at the very thought of it- of someone even touching Jasper in a way that's romantic. "Love, or otherwise. I probably don't have a right to, since we're not dating, but I will."

There's a dark promise there, and Jasper doesn't miss it.

"They'll never be anyone for me but you," he tells honestly, proudly, liking how it settles the war ready look Elias sports into something...softer. Gentle and raw and happy.

"Good," Elias nods, forcing his heat back into his body. "Good."

"Truth be told, I was too busy running from the memory of you to enjoy anything in life," the blond sighs, and pain sketches his features with his own dark amusement. "I found out very quickly that there's nowhere on this earth I could possibly run to that would leave behind the feeling of you."

It's easy for Elias to hide his touched expression and slip into something that's equally ruthless and teasing. "Did plenty good running from me physically," he hums, the jab missing any heat.

Jasper just shakes his head, finally starting up the car as he says quietly, blissfully, "I missed those snarky little comments."

The drive home is... calm. For the first time in months, Elias doesn't have anything to say or think. There's nothing nagging him, nothing resting on his tongue that's wanting to come out and ruin things- there's no burning in his chest. There's just the wet roads of Forks leading him home and the way he can see how Jasper drives with his eyes solely on Elias.

Elias is stepping out the car and shutting it, still feeling bliss, when Jasper calls out tentatively. "Darlin?"

Eli's head turns as if his actual name had been called. He bends down to the open passenger window, his face expressing his curiously better then words.

"You don't have to suffer willingly either..." Jasper smiles sadly, and his words are strong and sure, "my offer will always be here for you. I'll always be here, I'll always want you."

The longing, the offer, the fear of Jasper walking away- it weighs on Eli's shoulders equally.

He hardly survived the first time Jasper left- if he did it once Elias was immortal- it'd be so much worse.

"I know," Eli mutters, not giving a answer as he turns his back to the blond and walks away. It feels wrong all the way to his soul.

So don't worry, Elias hasn't forgotten even if he's forgiven. It's going to be a tricky road trusting Jasper again, paired with the time ticking away and all the things coming for them. I can't wait lmao.

Also, a quick but important reminder. There is a difference from liking my stories, getting inspired reading, using your own creativity to write your own twilight fic and then theres just plain stealing parts of my story and parts of my characters and placing it in your own setting- seriously. Don't do it. It's really wearing me down lately with people being 'inspired' and then I see they've just blatantly ripped some of my stuff off- especially since I never know if I can or should I reach out and say something. So, here's your reminder.

Other than that, you've all been amazing with your comments and votes and reads. I hope you're doing great!

Don't be a silent reader!