26; where he belongs

Just to clarify; Elias isn't exactly a non believer of the darker, secret, part of the world- he is apart of the it after all- but he just can't get over the specific word that explains all the mess that Jace revealed to him.

"Werewolf," Eli repeats, looking at Jace with new eyes- with informed eyes. Looking at him now- still so soft and human and nice- makes it hard for Eli to match him to the darker memories of the wolves- well, more specifically werewolves.

The boy smiles sheepishly back at him- wolfishly?- no sheepishly, Eli thinks.

"Yeah," he sighs, looking from where he's driving the Rabbit through a dirt wooded road and back at the human. He's a little pale and his shock shows in the way his grey eyes are wide, but other than that his expression is a mask. "It's not what you were expecting, is it?"

Werewolf... Eli's mind whispers in response, before he pushes his awe away. Is it awe? Or shock? Or dark humour? Of course, the minute his life turns a little too human- another creature steps up into the spotlight. A werewolf. Or if Eli is being technical, his friend.

Eli coughs, stopping himself from getting carried away with that train of thought. "I knew it had to be something. You were too hot to be human, or to be like me," and just because he can't help it, he laughs out a incredible, "werewolf,"

Jace perks up at the direction of Eli's words. "Yeah, let's talk about that. What are you?" He questions, eager, excited. Like a kid on Christmas.

The way he says it makes Eli's face pinch together in offence, so Jace quickly clarifies, "I know you're human. I just want to know how the fire thing started, or how it works. Its not everyday you see someone on fire."

"Wait," Eli sits up straight, feeling his chest do a funny tear- is it fear of being seen using his gift or because the memory of that day still terrifies him? "That means you were there. With Laurent."

Jace gives Eli a confused look. "Who's Laurent?"

Right. He doesn't know names, just what they are. What they do. They aren't names and people- just vampires. Eli swallows the thought away, in no dire need to tug on that conversation- which will no doubt bring nothing but a argument. He knows, just as he knows he can stick his hand into flames and come out unharmed, that the legends of 'cold ones' didn't exactly paint the vampires in a great light.

Then again... maybe it was a good thing. Maybe if the wolves saw vampires as less of a threat, as people who are capable of care and compassion, they'd have hesitated when seeing how Laurent's hand came up, ready to try give Eli and Bella a final blow.

"Black vampire, long dreadlocks, he was in the meadow with Bella and I. Kinda smokey and pissed off. Your pack," he grins teasingly around the word, Jace rolls his eyes, "chased after him."

"Ooh," Jace remembers, nodding, before his shoulders drop. Eli looks at him, at the guilt and... struggle? Bleeding out of him. "I'm trying to be thoughtful here, because I know you're friends with... vampires," the last word is a hiss, a true struggle to say for him. Eli feels his heart burn and his hand go to twitch for the door handle. As if he can run from the conversation. From the mention of them.

Stop it, he demands to himself, pausing his actions. He meets Jace's gaze head on without any trace of the inner struggle. "I am," he says strongly, I was, at least. "But not him. Not Laurent."

"Okay, that's good," Jace exhales in relief, looking back at the road. "Because we did end up killing him."

Elias freezes completely, mouth ajar in a silent motion of wanting to sigh in relief.

Jace mistakes his silence, his shock, as hurting his feelings. "He was going for the kill. He was going to kill you both. You know that, right?" Jace asks, angry at the thought of Eli hurt but still saying the words in a plead, of not wanting to hurt Elias- even if the actions already been done.

"I'm well aware," Eli mumbles, and falls further into the car seat, the shape, the solid feel of it a reminder of how real all of this was. Laurent was dead. Is dead. He doesn't get to come for Elias and Bella. He didn't get to report back to Victoria. "Jesus fucking christ, I can't believe he's dead."

Jace's hand lax from the steering wheel- still shaking, but calmer. "You don't mind?" He checks.

Eli's eyes are a flash of a warning when he looks back at Jace. "Did you not see me trying to set him on fire?"

Eli's favourite grin of his comes back- the wide, real, sarcastic and enthusiastic smile that showed exactly how Jace feels.

"I did," he laughs a short moment, turning the wheel and the car down another road. The forest still filters around them.

"Everyone was freaking out about it, we didn't know if you was being harmed or not. But you turned around when Sam walked in and put out your hands as if you were going to use the fire on him and we realised yeah, he's fine," he laughs through his words and Eli joins him. He likes the perspective shift of himself. Poor Sam probably thought he was about to get his fur singed off.

Jace watches Eli for a second- watches the pride in himself- before looking back to the road. "How can you do that, by the way?"

The reveals on his lips, just moment of coming out. But for once, Eli thinks about it- he's only told his secret a hand full of times. Each person for a different reason but linked in a understanding- only they'd know. They know they can't, or wouldn't, tell anyone.

"Whatever I tell you... everyone will find out, right? Because of the mind thing with other wolfs?" Elias double checks, hand coming to his neck scar.

Jace tracks the moment, guilt oozing out of him from Elias being anxious.

"Yeah. It's hard to keep a secret when someone's got front row seats to your thoughts," he bites down on his lip. Debating. Knowing he can't promise privacy. "You don't have to say anything if it's really private." He debates more, looks back at Eli with big black glinting eyes. "But I'd like to know because the curiosity is killing me and Embry has a bet on with me that you've got some contraption hidden in your sleeves that basically a flame thrower."

Elias hands push up the material of his black shirt, showing bare wrists and smooth tanned arms. "You win the bet at least."

Jace makes a happy noise in the base of his throat. "So does that mean I get to be in on the secret?" He asks again, softer, pleading.

Eli sighs. At this point, not telling Jace would be more of a pain then telling. He had a restless mind, deep imagination and a issue of wondering about others perspectives- often why he spent so much of his time trying to figure out what others were thinking.

Not to mention, Elias had the sudden urge to tell him- to get closer to him. Friends kept each other's secrets and it brought them together. Also, it was only fair. A secret for a secret.

A memory flashes back. A different car, a different boy, a different world. A feeling of adoration and love and eagerness to get to know the blond man driving. There was no hesitation in that time, no curve of a certain conversation that steered them away from getting to know each other. No, just two boys picking apart the other as if they weren't already tearing themselves apart just so the other could see them.

Eli's heart splutters in his chest, useless to stop the burning yet useful to spread the agony on. He pushes the memory away- not from the pain and denial like he used to, but because he can't deal with that and talk at the same time. 

"Do you remember me telling you about the house fire I was in? When I was a kid?" He starts, watching Jace's reaction- he'd brought it up ages ago. Only briefly, just skimming the facts and the event- but it was enough for Jace to remember. Enough for his mouth to set into a hard line as he nodded back at Eli. The grey eyed boy gives him a smile, too sharp and too dark. Not the one Jace likes to see. "Let's just say I didn't walk away with just some scars."

Jace's initial reaction of shock quickly turns into childlike glee again. "You're like the human torch, that's so cool."

Eli- half terrorised that that's going to be his new nickname and half speaking out of frustration of people just seeing the best side of it- says in a deep voice. "It has perks, it has downsides. Like being a wolf, I can get a little out of control and accidents happen when I'm not careful."

Jace flinches, looking at his hands on the steering wheel. They shake, all the time. It's a physical reminder of how out of control he is now, and how careful he has to be. The dangers just under the surface.

And it seemed he isn't the only dangerous one now.

"That's what happened at the movies, right, when you burnt Jake," he checks, remembering it thoroughly. He didn't catch what Eli had said, but he noticed how the contact of his skin to Jakes made the younger boy flinch in pain.

Elias nods, only slightly ashamed of his actions from that night. He knows now that it's because of the wolf coming out that made Jake be a dick- he also knows he doesn't regret the threat. "I get protective, I burn, I get angry, I burn, it's very simple," he shrugs.

Jace's face shows exactly how he doesn't get how simple it is even before he utters, "I have so many questions." The car makes a sudden turn and decreases speed.

Elias looks out, down the ending path to the coming house- a two story wooden thing that looked as dainty as it did sturdy. It blended in well with the surroundings- and for a moment he can't over the fact that yeah, that's exactly what a werewolves house should look like- but it gets chased away by the Chevy parked near it. That didn't belong anywhere near the wolves house.

The fury comes back just as Jace parks up. The reason he'd took off from the hospital- the reason his mom is probably going to kill him later- one of the main reasons Eli stayed alive the last few months. Bella Swan.

The rabbit door slams as Elias gets out. He doesn't wait for Jace's introduction or his leading- Eli's gift already tells him how many people are inside. Which ones burn too hot for a wolf and which ones are human.

The noise of the car tells of Eli's arrival before he goes through the open patio doors. Two humans, one being Bella, and four wolves, like he thought.

"Seriously Bella?" Elias almost growls, glaring at her with eyes on fire. He ignores the shocked look the other copper skinned males have in the kitchen as he steps further into the room. "I leave you for a little bit, I tell you to not get into trouble and you slap a werewolf in the face?"

Bella chalks at the sight of him. Not from his anger, but the actual sight of him. "What- what are you doing out of the hospital?" She stutters, appalled at the idea of him not getting the help he needs. Jace, almost anxiously slow, arrives behind Eli's body blocking the entrance. Bella's eyes turn into slits. "You let him out?"

Jace throws his hands up in defence, "He's scary when he's determined!"

Eli's snarl goes to a grin, prideful at scaring people.

"Whats wrong with you?" Someone asks. It takes Elias a second to realise, to recognise, the male standing next to Bella across the room, is Jake. Jake, only he's taller, more filled out, his hairs cut off. "Why were you in the hospital?"

Something uncomfortable settles in Eli's stomach at the sight of Jake being so...changed. The feeling increases as he realises no ones got to telling Jake about him.

"Brain tumour, I'll tell you about it later," Eli waves off, because if he's nonchalant about it, he knows Jake won't get as worried as he would if Elias was serious.

Jake sucks in a sharp, "What?" But Eli ignores it.

He walks further into the kitchen. Looking around at all the faces before he settling on the largest male. Sam. Sam, who's stood almost protectively in front of a girl with a scarred face. "Now, you're the alpha-" that word feels funny on his tongue- "will you tell me what's going on?"

Sam shifts, looking at Elias with uncertainty and towards Jace. Who looks certain and sure of whatever silent question Sam asks. "Okay," Sam nod his head to the round table in the kitchen where two others are sat- Embry and Jared. "Take a seat Elias," he gruffly orders.

Elias slides in next to Bella, ignoring the way Jake and Jace move to linger behind their chairs, as if wanting to protect them. When Sam and Emily sit across the table near Jared and Embry- making it equal numbers on both sides-Eli thinks maybe they've done it so he and Bella don't feel outnumbered.

Sam starts speaking without another word, in a deep unimpressed voice, as if there's more important things to do than explain things to two human.

Eli's teeth grind at his tone but he stays quiet and tries to sort his thoughts out. In the car he'd learned from Jace about the pack, the causes of shifting and how it was their job to protect the town from 'cold ones'.

Sam explains the recent attacks- which shocks Elias to his core, because he hasn't heard about them. Had he really been that closed off from everything in life that people dying in his own town didn't even break past his depressive shell?

Apparently the wolves have been searching for a red headed vampire from who's trying to work her way into Forks, trying to stop her from killing. It hasn't been so successful since she goes to different parts of land to gain her way in. They hadn't known what she wanted, until today.

Out of all the vampires in the world I want to want me, Eli thinks sourly, tuning out for a moment, she's definitely not one of them.

"You need to be careful," Bella pleads, the sound of her breaking Elias out of his thoughts.

"Give then some credit Bella," Eli chides, sliding his fingers through her own underneath the table. "They're literally born to hunt vampires, so they can protect you."

Bella pale gaze turns to him, her eyes are dark, wide, worried, "And what about you?"

"Wait," Embry frowns, looking at the tanned human, "she wants to kill both of you? I thought she wanted revenge, you know, mate for mate."

"That's not going to happen," Jacob growls out, literally. Elias flinches forward, hands warming, and looks behind him. He knows logically he probably can't beat a werewolf- it doesn't mean he can't try.

Elias finds that Jake is talking normally, if not angry. It's Jace who's body is completely shaking, each muscle and bones withering around like something inside wants out.

"Jace," Sam says him name like a warning, a strange tint in his voice, power underlining his tone. Eli's mind flashes to Jace's explaining how the alpha can command other wolves if need be.

"You might want to get him out of here," Elias turns to Sam seriously, free hand coming to fiddle with his neck scar. "He's not going to like what we have to say next."

"Jared take your brother out the house," Sam orders quickly.

Jared gets up and lunges for his brother in a action so quick Eli finds it hard to follow. His arms bound over Jace's shaking form and pull them both out the small house. Jace goes easily, face still enraged, eyes concentrating on keeping control. The sight, black eyes, shaking bared teeth- it remind Elias so much of the accident with him that the burning pain tenfolds in his heart.

"Elle," Bella calls softly, squeezing his hand- always able to know when his souls breaking. He snaps his gaze away from Jace, placing a blank mask on his face. Now isn't the time to break.

"So," Sam calls, calling the attention back to the conversation. "what were you saying Elias?"

"Right," he coughs, ignoring the urge to carry on watching Jace. He thinks back- why is Victoria hunting both of them. Mate for mate is simple. But Elias? "The full story is... complicated," is all he manages to get out, his words tight and uncomfortable.

Bellas hand squeezes his, drawing his attention to her. Her eyes are concerned, like always when she looks at Eli, and the plucker to her eyebrows shows how she questions the way Elias hasn't come out and explained everything already.

Eli's eyes flicker, too quick for anyone to notice, to Sam and back to her, before tightening a moment. Because of him.

Jake groans lowly, bringing Bella away from asking why again. They both turn to look at his fed up expression as he says, "Stop doing your mind conversation thing."

Both of them smile, just a little. "Sorry," Bella shrugs, not at all serious about the apology. Sam shifts in his seat, fed up of waiting, it catches Eli's attention again.

The price of protection, Elias negotiates with himself. The small curve of his mouth settling down.

"As you already know sometimes vampires have extra abilities, it makes them more powerful. It makes the people around their," Eli coughs to stop himself- to stop how he goes to say the word lovingly instead of neutral like the rest of his statement, "-coven, more powerful to outsiders who look in at them with any intention to attack."

Embry cracks a understanding look as Sam and Emily frown in disgust. "Like how a sharper and shiny knife attracts you more then the others in the display case of regular knives?"

"But in this case the knife is shiny and even more dangerous than the others," Bella sighs, shifting in her seat in discomfort of the idea of anyone talking Eli away. Stealing him.

Eli makes sure to send her hand a squeeze and to keep his face even as he says, "James, the red heads mate, he found me the shiniest of the knives-"

"-With the fire hands!" Embry cuts him off in excitement, ignoring the looks the rest of the wolves throw him.

"Wait, what fire thing?" Emily speaks up for the first time, confusion filling the half of her face that isn't scarred.

"Elias' hands were on fire the last time we saw him. He was burning the vampire," Sam fills in, but his words make Eli's body tense. There's something about how he speaks that made it seem like he isn't happy.

"Yes," Eli replies stiffly, what are you scared I might do a better job killing vampires than you? he wants to add, but knows the temper of wolves. Bella squeezes his hand like she knows what he's thinking. "I have a gift."

"You control fire?" Jake questions, believing but shocked.

"Yes," Bella says, the same moment Elias states, "No."

Bella gives him a narrowed look, "We argue over the definition," she sighs, like it's a decade old argument- which it feels like.

Elias rolls his eyes at her fondly. "But for arguments sake, let's just say I can withstand it," he clarifies, looking back around the table.

Embry looks intrigued, Emily curious...Sam... his expression shows little, but his stiff body shows how he doesn't like the revelation. "That's a powerful gift you've got," he says, not a compliment- a observation. Elias feels his skin spark in the need to burn.

"That's why James wanted to turn Elias, to build the strength in his coven," Bella continues telling them upon realising Eli isn't.

There's a shredding sound from outside, like someone ripping thick paper and clothes. Then a short yelp from Jared as he shouts, "You idiot, you ripped my shirt!"

Elias turns his head to the glass doors. Where Jace stood in the yard is now a seven foot wolf, it's short sandy blond fur bristled up as he gets stands tall against the floor. Elias didn't realise last time exactly how deadly he looks, especially with how there's displeased and scorching snarls leaving his snout.

"Told you," Eli mumbles, but doesn't feel good about it. He turns away from Jace just as Jared starts kicking him, muttering something akin to 'you're the one telling mom she needs to buy more clothes.'

"So Victoria wants to to kill you, and turn you in revenge for her mate being killed?" Sam double checks, pointing at Bella and then Elias. His eyes never leave Eli's face however.

"What after that?" Emily questions, and she too notices her fiancé's behaviour as she goes to place her hand on his knee. To stop the way it's bouncing. "If she did find you somehow, then you, what's she planning after that? Are you supposed to be her protection?"

Sam speaks without a hint of a doubt. "It won't get that far."

"I'm curious about it too," Embry admits, backing up Emily.

Sams voice is deep and not at all out of comfort as he repeats. "We won't let it happen."

"Oh," Bella gasps silently, looking towards Elias, at the side of his expressionless face. She understands now, why he was disturbed in telling the pack the reasoning of Victoria's obsession with him. In his gift. She understands, especially since not long ago they were talking -hypothetically- about finding the vampire to end, and in return, save Eli's life.

See, as much as Sam is willing to try and protect Elias, he's just as willing to kill him if Victoria succeeds in turning him.

And Elias, if he's honest, understands. The thought of any vampire makes Sams skin crawl and his teeth bare. Now imagining a creature coming with a gift so strong it should be impossible- Elias is surprised he hasn't jumped across the table to take out the human right now. Even if he isn't a vampire yet- it's better to take out a threat before it becomes a bigger threat.

Try it, Elias almost wants to taunt as he relaxes into the chair. His skin heats, and even though his mouth stays shut in a barely there smirk, his eyes scream, I dare you.

Oh' and if the way Sams face hardens, he gets it.

"This is what we're going to do," Sam speaks roughly, finally looking away from Eli, towards Bellas pale and apprehensive face, "We won't let her near you, we'll set up shifts to guard around you, but it will be easier if you two spend more time in La Push so we know where you are, just incase anything goes wrong."

"I can do that," Bella nods. "I don't want to lead Victoria anywhere else, just incase she does get past you."

"Don't speak it into existence," Eli snaps at her, his eyes screaming how he hates how she always puts herself in harms way first. Bella looks back at him, her expression practically screaming, hypocrite.

"Elias," Jake calls his name, his hand touching Eli's stiff shoulder, tearing the two from speaking to each other. "Will you be able to stay around La a push? I don't want you far from Bella, it's easier if you're together so we can protect you."

"It might be difficult for me," Eli's sucks on his teeth as he thinks it over, "with my parents and the whole hospital thing. I'm constantly moving." He pretends not to notice how Bella flinches again.

"I'll stay with you instead," Jace demands more than offers, standing in the doorway of the kitchen, looking directly at Elias even as he asks. "If that's alright Sam."

"Can you control yourself?" Sam double checks. Jace nods strongly. "Alright. Then it's settled. The red head won't be getting close to Forks or La Push."

•••

Victoria might have not been able to get into Forks easily but for the next two weeks she walks into Eli's nightmares every night.

Most of the time it's nothing immediately threatening. It starts off in normal situations- Eli alone, Eli and Bella at her house, or the worst one, him and his family at home. It's always mundane and always normal and that's what makes Eli's guard lower- that's when Eli will turn around and there she is.

Victoria. Her wild curly hair is as feral as the look in her eyes. She's so pleased to see him, her lips lifting as if going to smile at him, but instead its her showing her gleaming teeth in a snarl. Elias can't do anything as she crouches down into a attack position, muscles locking, a real snarl coming from her throat.

Elias jolts up as she lunges for him. He wakes with the feeling of her teeth scraping against the front of his neck with the realisation its nothing but a dream. Hopefully it will stay that way.

It's past midnight when Elias steps out his backdoor, clad only in black baggy shorts and the lingering feeling of teeth against his neck. Thanks Victoria. He closes the door behind him, stepping off the back porch to survey the garden with grey eyes.

"Is everything okay?" A voice comes from the dark shadows of the woods. Brown skin slides between the moss trees, amazingly gracious for someone so large.

"I can't sleep," Elias explains, stepping back to sit on the steps, eyes still onto the woods as Jace comes to sit next to him. Their shoulders brush softly as both of them are bare.

"It's too quiet inside, it makes me anxious. I'd listen to music but-" he cuts himself off, the pain squeezing him. Despite Elias no longer trying to deny the feelings and memories of him, some of the attributes in life that reminded Elias of him still hadn't come back naturally. Like music.

Jace sighs deeply, pulling Eli's attention to him. "Can I ask you something?" He asks almost timidly. Eli nods him on. "Are you scared to die?"

Not what he was expecting, but still easier to answer than what he was expecting.

"A little," Elias debates the words that want to come out before mentally saying fuck it and going all in. "I've faced death a few times in my life, each time is worse than the last but I've never been too scared for myself, just the people left behind when I go."

A mocking laugh escapes his lips before he can stop it. "A tumour is not how I expected to go, if I'm honest," he grins, the irony not lost on him, but it quickly goes as he remembers who he's around- especially the topic.

Jace's throat produces this off noise, half a cry and half a growl. Elias knows them he's understood the word Eli didn't say before he grinds out though his teeth, "I want to ask but I have a feeling I already know the answer."

Elias can see it on his face. The disgust. The confusion. Elias saw it on Sam Uleys face when they spoke about Victoria wanting to turn Elias and how Elias had no immediate reaction to becoming a monster. It's why Sam had been so off putting with protecting Elias.

They both realised exactly how much Elias didn't mind becoming a vampire.

"Then don't," Elias snaps defensively, because Jace isn't like the others. Eli doesn't need another person questioning him, especially about topics related to him.

"You do that a lot. Fiddle with your scar," Jace realises, hand coming to pick Eli's own off his throat. He didn't realise he was doing it. "You never did answer if someone tried to slit your throat," he eggs on, bumping their shoulder together.

Eli sighs out, hands coming to wring together. From one difficult topic to another it seemed. "Do you remember the accident I was in last year?"

The seriousness on Eli's face makes Jace freeze. "It wasn't a accident," he realises, appealed.

Elias nods, curls brushing his hair. "It's from James. The hunting vampire. He um, slit it with his nail, to taste my blood before turning me," he explains, surprised with how Jace's reaction is to slide his fingers through Elias. "Apparently I taste nice."

"Dont joke like that," Jace cringes at the thought of it all. The hand wrapped around Eli's tightens almost painfully at the sudden turn of conversation. "Why were you alone? How did he even they get to you? Why didn't a full coven keep two humans safe?"

Jace hisses as Eli's hand heats up- he knows it's defensive from the way Eli's eyes flash with hurt and how he rips his hand from Jace's.

"It was by my own actions that I got hurt, so dial back the fucking judgment," Elias snaps, skin warming so much that for a moment he has to close his eyes and try sort out his breathing.

"I'm sorry," Jace whispers, shocked at the reaction, "I know it's different for you." He goes to grab Eli's hand again but then thinks better of it- he'd probably shake him off. "You're not mortal enemies with vampires, so I guess you can see them differently from the start."

Elias feels his whole body stiffen. It's not about seeing them differently, he wants to say. But knows if he starts the argument, it'll be shown through the pack link and he didn't feel like airing all his feeling out to the wolves.

And then the thought, fuck it. Elias will be dead soon, and even if he isn't- he'll never be embarrassed with what he felt for them.

"I've lived my whole life thinking I was alone, that my ability, made me a little less human than everyone else," Elias starts, up on his feet, trying to space him away from Jace and how he watches Elias with shocked yet empathetic eyes. "I can't feel anything, anything freezing cold or boiling hot. I'm totally desensitised, like a robot."

Eli tugs on his hair, the strands curling around his fingertips since he needs a haircut. Without meaning to he starts to pace. "I have to check myself before I reach out for someone, to touch them, incase I burn them. I'm constant worried someone will figure out what's wrong with me, and that's why I push them away," he casts a look to Jace, smile sad and sarcastic, "Unless they're stubborn, like Bella or you and Jake."

Elias looks down at his hands. Normal and human yet at the same time capable of destruction with just a thought. A spark. "I'll be the first to admit my gift is awesome, but it's also totally alienated me my whole life from everyone."

Jace gets up too, following Elias in his pacing until he can catch the human by his elbow. Eli stills, and Jace understands then how much this means to Eli, how much everything has rattled him to the point he's talking so openly it's as if he doesn't realise he's talking about himself.

"I never thought of it like that. I'm sorry you felt like that," Jace whispers, one hand sliding up Eli's bare elbows, and cupping behind his neck. His thumb comes to rest against the boys sharp jaw, rubbing slightly to try remove the way its clenched.

"I want you to think of it like this Jace," Elias whispers, stepping back from the touch because his next words might make Jace stop wanting to be near him all together. Jace's face falls a little. "Because I can get past a lot of things Jace, but your anger and hate to people I love isn't something I can do. I won't be ashamed for who I love."

Love, love, love, the one words like sticking a hot iron through Eli's chest. He still loves every one of them, especially him, and he won't shy away from the fact. As much as he loves Jace and wants him as a friend, there's some things they need to get though. Like the secrets, for one. But Eli's love for them is another.

"I go my whole life feeling that," Elias starts, hands coming to his scar as the fire burns inside even more. As sadness washes it away. "Then I find someone who's different too, someone who is totally the opposite of me, but they also fear their own lethal touch as much as I do my own."

Jasper. Elias thinks, his name a curse and a prayer. More a prayer, for the memories that come forward now. The good ones that hurt but leave Elias wanting to think of them more- to grasp onto them and never let go. "For once in my life, being around someone else just feels... normal. I don't feel so odd because being around them makes me feel..."

Elias remembers Jaspers arms around him- the sunlight bathing them. The feeling of touching someone and actually feeling them. A connection of two souls. A connection that couldn't break. "It made me feel like I belonged somewhere, for once in my life."

Jace's walks slowly towards Elias, cautious lining every step. His face shows exactly how much he gets it- that for the first time since Elias has saw him and they've mentioned the Cullens, his face isn't a mask of distaste.

"I can't promise I'll like the thought of them, or even tolerate the thought of them in time," Jace swallows roughly, stepping into Eli's personal space. He looks so cautious, like Elias is the animal between them both. "But I can understand what they meant for you."

Jace's arms come over Eli's shoulders, pulling the human close and keeping him there. Elias sniffles in Jace's chest- when did his eyes start watering?- enjoying the feeling but still confused. "Why are we hugging?"

Jace, his nose pressed into Eli's curls, mutters back, "Because you're my friend and I don't want you to feel alone."

Elias wraps his arms around Jace's middle, tightening the hug. Jace smells like the woods, a spiced aftershave and something sweet. Like the bakery he works in, only it's not a scent attached to any food. All together it's equal parts strong and sweet- just like him.

"You're just as weird as me now, you can relate to being alienated," Elias sighs into the boys skin, and it makes both of the start to laugh as they pull away from the hug.

Jace, less cautious now the fire returns in Eli's eyes, tuts out tauntingly, "I have a pack full of wolves like me, you don't."

Elias hums with a shake of his head."I have a Bella, she's pack," and coven and family and every translation of every language that meant she was someone dear to Elias who he'd do anything for.

"I hate it when you do that," he growls just as Elias starts mentally thinking about the word coven. "Your eyes flat out, as if you shut yourself off when speaking about them, or you blank yourself out so no one can see you hurting."

"Relax," Eli orders, smacking his bare chest, ignoring the panic forming in his own chest. "I don't like people knowing what I'm feeling. You can control someone when you know how they feel."

Jace laughs, only little, but it makes Elias ease up. "I have a pretty good guess most of the time," he points out, sliding an arm around Eli's shoulders and pulling him close. "Or so I like to think. Sometimes you're a little confusing."

Eli grins, "is it a wolf thing?" He guesses.

"No, just a Jace thing." He almost sounds sad, disappointed.

"Do you like being a wolf?" Elias asks, looking at him, calculating his reaction.

There's no immediate reaction. Just deliberation. "It's okay, I guess," he shrugs his big shoulders, making Eli move too. His lips twisting in a small smile, "The strength, the advantage of protecting people is okay. It's just the temper, the way you can't control yourself that really sucks."

"Maybe you just need some control," Elias teases, elbow digging into his ribs until Jace leans over to grab it. Making both of them face together again, Jace's arm still awkwardly wrapped around Eli's shoulders. "Maybe we should practise together," Elias eggs on with a sharp grin.

Jace rolls hold eyes, matching the teasing. "You burn and I turn, what a way to bond."

"Fine. What if we leave instead?" Elias offers instantly, teasing gone. Jace looks at him with wide eyes, tightly gripping him now. "Me, you, Jake and Bella. I have a college fund I don't need and I have a California lake house... lots of forest for you to run around."

The joke makes Jace glare at him. "M' not a dog... but that does sound good," he admits, then quickly adds as Eli's eyes light up, "when we find this Victoria and we kill her, then I'll go."

"Okay," Elias grins back, a new encouragement buzzing in his veins. "You'd like California, you know."

Somewhere in the forest a howl sounds, long and deep. It makes the hairs on Eli's arm raise and flinch slightly.

"I've got to go, I'm changing shift with Jared and he gets prissy when I'm late," Jace sighs, dropping his head a little. But he doesn't move so quickly. Not since Elias gives him a soft look.

"Please be careful," Elias begs.

"I will," Jace vows, leaning down to press his lips into Eli's cheek for a kiss, but as he pulls back he lingers inches away. Elias is awfully aware of how it'll only take him to turn his head, lift up and press his own lips into Jace's smaller ones. And Jace seems to understand that too- he's just waiting on Elias to make the move, to want to.

It's just a kiss, Elias thinks, but knows it's a lie. When he first met Jace, and they'd kissed, it wasn't anything then- just a kiss when Elias was needing a distraction. Kissing is just kissing, he didn't care about it then.

He knows what a impact of a kiss can do now- how it can tumble into something more. Despite how much he could rationalise and compromise- it'd feel wrong all the way to Eli's missing soul.

Because like Elias had said earlier- he belonged to Jasper. Even if it was one sided bond, even if he spent every minute of the rest of his existence alone and hurting- he wouldn't mind it. Because after a lifetime of having nowhere to be himself- he'd finally, he'd always feel like he belonged to Jasper.

There's something wrong about the statement, something entirely broken about it too- but Elias knew it like he knew he could burn people. He'd never be able to give any part of himself to anyone else when he wholeheartedly belonged to Jasper.

"I'm sorry," Elias whispers, pulling back from the boy, still close enough to see how Jace's eyes shine with nothing but understanding.

Another howl. Closer this time.

"I've got to go," Jace tells, smiling, always so understanding. That's the worst part- he knows he'll never be it for Elias. They weren't made for each other, but they both know they could make each other happy.

Elias watches him go, catching the way brown skin of a man explodes into a sand colour of a werewolf before the shadows of the woods swallow him.

He sighs out, turning back into the house, not interested in whatever else the shadows hide.

He's locking the door when he hears the patter of feet coming from the stairs. Thinking on his feet, Elias quickly lunges for the fridge, pulling out a peach tea just as someone flicks the lights on in the kitchen.

"Are you okay?" Cassandra breathes out instantly, scanning him over. Her eyes linger on his wrist, where his medical ID bracelet is- a constant reminder of his bad health.

"Yes, I'm just getting a drink," he shakes the bottle for emphases, "My medication makes me feel thirsty remember?" That's not a lie exactly.

Cassandra nods, arms crossing over the fluffy material of her dressing gown. The atmosphere in the kitchens like a live wire and it causes Eli's hair to stand up on end again. He shuffles on his feet, resisting the urge to touch his neck scar. "Can I go back to bed now?"

"I'm not angry at you Elias," his mom announces, her tough expression softening. "I swear."

Eli rises an eyebrow, thinking back to the little amount his moms spoken to him in the last two weeks. "You sure seem that way," he accuses.

She sighs, arms falling to her sides. "I just, I get why you don't want treatment, I do. I'm just frustrated about the whole..." she trails off, not able to say the word.

"We need to be comfortable about it Mom," he pauses, thinking back to the pamphlets he'd read from the hospital. "Its happening, burying our head and wishing for another cause isn't going to help us."

He looks her in the eyes, face braver than he feels on the inside. "I'm dying, and it's okay." The words cause a trigger of pain for her, she makes a hiccup of a cry and Eli quickly smiles at her.

"We're gonna plan things out, we're gonna have the best few months. And you're going to cope with this, do you hear me? I don't want you to be sad," he demands.

The tears are rolling down her cheeks now. "How are you so calm about dying?" She cries, and Elias buries the word vampire and goes with his second thought.

"I have my dads level head," he goes to her, bare feet slapping tile, and wipes her tears from her cheeks, "but I have your heart mom, So I can get through anything."

She sniffles, looking at him with shining prideful eyes. "You do know this means I'm going to make you go back to school, right?"

Elias groans, throwing his head back, "I regret my speech now!"

"Shh, you'll wake everyone up," Cassandra hisses, placing her hand over his mouth. Elias cocks a eyebrow at her, then licks her palm in attempt to make her let. It works. "Go back to bed," she urges in a whine, wiping her hand on her gown, the other hand pushing him out the kitchen, "we can talk tomorrow."

He bids her a grin as a goodbye, taking two steps up the stairs before turning his steps quiet as he goes into his dark room. It's no use since as soon as the door shuts, a sleep clouded voice calls out, "Elle?"

Elias watches as Bella cracks her eye open, trying to find him in the dark. He steps harder in the floor as he goes to the bed, drawing her to the sound. She lifts up the covers and he slides in without issue.

"Still alive, don't worry," Elias whispers, catching the way she scans over him with her eyes for any injury.

She scoffs, settling into his chest as he opens his arms as invitation. With her ear pressing over his heart- able to hear every reliving thump, thump- she's more at ease as she says, "Not funny."

•••

The next day, Elias is in the middle of taking his medication when the house phone rings. David's quick to grab it, and Elias swallows the pills on his tongue as he listens, thinking the callers Charlie to tell David that Bella is stopping over- for some reason the man has to inform the Sherwood's every time. As if Elias doesn't walk into the house with the key attached to his own house keys.

It is Charlie on the phone, but it isn't their usual conversation. The conversations quick, but David's face pales in shock before twisting into a sad frown. Elias turns to him, a horrible feeling growing in his stomach.

"Okay, yes sure, okay. Thank you," he pauses his urgent tone, nodding to the person on the other line, "Charlie, don't worry, I'll see you soon. Bye."

"Who was that? What's wrong?" Eli asks as soon as he's put the phone down.

His dad sighs, rubbing his beard in a way that means he's thinking hard and has too many emotions to deal with. "Harry Clearwaters had a heart attack when they were hunting for the wolves. He... hasn't made it. I'm going over to the Clearwaters to help Charlie and Sue."

Elias feels a deep routed sadness- not for himself exactly, since he wasn't close to Harry. But he knew how bright the man was, how he touched everyone's life with light. "I'm sorry dad."

And then Elias is moving to grab his shoes the same time David does, his thoughts driving him before he can detour them. "I'm gonna go to Bella, to check on her. To see if Jake or Jace needs us. If that's ok?"

"Sure," David nods, as quick as Elias to leave. "Do you need a ride?"

Elias, in the middle of it all, doesn't even think as he says, "no it's okay," and takes his keys from where he's hidden them in a stray pair of Easton's shoes on the rack.

"Wait, Elias, Who's keys are those!" David shouts, trying to grab his sons shoulder but he's already out the door.

Elias runs to the side of the house where he hid the dirt bike, throwing one leg over the thing until he's seated on it. He'll worry about his parents trying to murder him for having the bike after he checks on his friends.

Is the chance of him having a seizure whilst operating a bike dangerous? Yes. So is the fact the roads are wet and Elias drives like a maniac on a good day. That's life and it's unfair and some things are more important. Like checking on his friends.

The bike starts to life in a loud growl, practically begging Eli's mom to look out the windows and see him. It doesn't help with the fact Elias is rushing and accident revs it too hard. Elias knows his parents hear it then, especially with the way the grass spits backwards as he speeds forwards.

Elias focuses intently on the road and on the way his body feels- at the first sign of the coldness of a seizure, he's going to slam the bakes on and get off the bike. Or crash into something that looks soft and will give him less damage.

It's not needed however as he does make it safely to the Swan house- after a close call with a stray cat on the road. He's just standing the bike on the grass and pocketing his keys when he feels it. He feels it for the first time in months.

No body heat. No heat at all. A vampire.

He gasps, the pure joy of the feeling being followed by horror- its a vampire. But which one?

That's when Elias starts to burn. He turns to the house, no time think, to grab a real flame for real damage- a vampire can kill someone in seconds. He needs to move, to protect Bella- who's so close to where the cold space of a vampire is that for a second Eli's images walking in on her being hurt, being- no.

Hands risen in ready to burn, Eli's runs up the porch steps and shoulders open the front door, ready to fight and face whatever awaits him.

He's not ready to see Bella- perfect fine, perfect healthily- hugging a pixie looking pale girl close to her chest. At the noise of the door slamming open, the pair startle from each other to look at Elias.

"You're alive too?" Alice cries in relief.

What do you think is going to happen?

Dont be a silent reader!