23; start of a new chapter

Thank you for 300k reads. I'm eternally grateful.

Just to Clarify; this is the start of a new chapter in Eli's life, he's decided.

The lane, the strip of driveway that leads to his home is overgrown with weeds and moss and other ferns. The colour green tints the light vision, especially since the trees overhanging the road cover most clear light. It's like a setting of a shitty horror movie and Elias isn't usually impaired by horror- but this sight leaves his stomach twisting.

"You don't have to come," Bella reassures, catching the way his soul breaks through his eyes alone. "I can leave you here and come back to pick you up."

It's tempting, it really is. The fact that they're even going there is insane- it shows how stupid they are. Maybe he is lying to himself, maybe Elias likes the pain in his heart.

"I need to go," Elias says, trying to sound sure but it comes out weak.

This isn't insane, it's closure, he bargains in his head, like the last page of a book- of his story. Elias can't wait anymore, he can't stay in this in-between state he'd crawled into. Eli was hurting his parents, his brother, himself.

Last night had proven that; it had broken the cracks in his already poorly fixed exterior until he was left with everything to pick up... again.

Seeing the abandoned house will make Elias sure that they aren't coming back- a final nail in the coffin, so to speak. It'd hurt, more than anything, but at this point, Elias is always hurting. What's a bit more pain?

Shit, Eli thinks humourlessly, maybe I am an masochist.

"Also," Elias carries on, studying the brunette, "if I left you to do things alone you'd be one decision away from trying heroin."

The joke doesn't make her smile. If anything her lips downturn even more at the deflection. "I don't want to drag you down with whatever crazy thing I think of next," she swallows thickly. Eli can see the way she means it- like she thinks whatever horrible things attracted to her will attack Elias too.

"You're crazy," he declares proudly, making her look at him with wide brown eyes, "but so am I, and we both know being be crazy together is better than being alone."

Bella sucks in a sharp breath, unsure how to process the words as her eyes water. Elias is too good for her, he has been the moment they left. He didn't get a reason, he just got left. He had it so much worse in her mind, yet he focused intently on her, always there to comfort her. "I love you Elias."

"I love you too Bella," he rejoices straight away, a reflex as strong as putting your hand up to block sunlight in your eyes. Bella half smiles, pushing down the urge to cry.

The plunge of green tinted light from the trees towering over the truck suddenly vanishes. Bella slams on the breaks, since she wasn't really looking at the road, knowing it means they're at their destination.

The house sits there, beautiful but haunting, looking like something out of a horror movie too. Nothing is out of place, except the air isn't buzzed with excitement or enjoyment that usually came to Elias as he pulled up. Now it was a hollow gutting feeling that left him searching for something, anything, to take the pain away.

He can see through the glass windows its empty, abandoned. The shrubs and wildlife around is overgrown and neglected, making the house seem older. For once, it looked so eerie that it could have a vampires home.

This was supposed to be my home, too.

The memories flash, the feelings of him smashes into Elias like a bulldozer. "Fuck," he almost whines, wanting to scream the word as it felt like his heart got ripped open with every beat it took.

He's stepping out the truck without meaning to, the only realisation he's moved is when his feet hit the floor and the door slams behind him. Their presence is gone, there no loving atmosphere- its abandoned. They forgot about this house, they covered the furniture and locked the doors and left it behind them.

Just like they had Bella and Elias.

"You bastard," Elias sneers, looking at the house with betrayal, since its the only living proof of the hurt he felt. Living proof that he was real.

Say his name, think about it, stop pushing everything out.

Jasper, he thought with difficulty, the one word feeling like a prayer and a curse. Jasper and every loving memory that was carved into Eli's head. Every bad memory scorned to live behind his eyelids. Everything he'd promised and then ripped out from under Elias and not stuck around to see how he fell.

"You inconsiderate moronic selfish prick, I hope you-" Elias spits, the fury the most emotion felt in months, too bright and too fast, since he can't finished his swear. "I hope you're, I hope you..."

Elias doesn't know what he wanted Jasper to be- Sorry, for hurting him? Guilty, for leaving him? Hurting, just as much as Elias was?

I want him to be happy, Elias realises sadly, I love him too much to be anything else. Even if it's away from me, even though he said his happiness was with me, I want nothing but the best for him. I'd live the rest of my life like this if it meant he'd be happy.

And maybe that's the saddest thing of all- Elias was ready to change, to tear, his world apart for someone who didn't even want Elias in his.

The anger came back with that, burning hotter than before. This time, it's at himself- for falling and continuing to fall for someone who left him.

"Elias, lets go," Bella calls, her voice almost afraid. He doesn't realise he's walking around the side of the house, towards the back, he's too busy pulling on the anger inside of him.

"Elias? Where are you going?" Bella shouted, following him by the sound of her racing footsteps.

Elias marches over the outgrown grass until he's at the back of the house. "I need to see something," he mutters, looking up at the windows, but he's too close. He starts walking backwards, to get a better view.

There. His bedroom. Elias feels the anger flare, like the sight of the room is gasoline for his fire. That was supposed to be his room, too. At one point, it felt like it. His black jean jacket was once on the bed, stolen by him, Eli's clothes had been scattered in the draws for the nights he spent over, and the little black book had been proudly sat on the bedside table.

"I read it every day, darlin," Jasper said when Eli asked why it was open.

Elias wouldn't be surprised if it's still there- he'd left Eli behind, why not everything Eli gifted?

Well, Elias feels himself tense as his hands burn, have one more unwanted gift off me.

Before he can convince himself to change his mind, he leans down and picks up one of the smooth hand sized stones under his feet. With a quick motion he wrenches his arm back and throws it as hard he can.

"Oh my god!" Bella gasps from behind him, shielding herself as one of the colossal windows smashes, raining down in thousands of pieces- just like Elias heart did the night they left.

The curly haired boy watches the glass rain down and makes a odd scattering noise, then back up to where the bedroom now has a circle hole through the window.

Elias nods at his work, turning back to Bellas truck, feeling the anger in him settle down. "I'm not gonna lie, that felt kinda nice," he admits, giggling all crazy like despite not being humoured, starting to walk back as he thinks Bella is following him, "we can go now."

That's when there's another smash of glass. Elias jumps in surprise, looking back at the house- another windows gone, this ones at another bedroom. The grey eyed boy looks at Bella in surprise.

"Crazy together, remember?" She pants, offering a smile, eyeing the other window like she can't believe her own actions too, then looking down at the hand she used to throw the rock, "You're right, it was satisfying."

Elias nods in pride. "Cheaper than therapy, too," he notes, holding his hand out for her, "now let's get out of here Swan."

Bella jogs to his side and they both scurry to leave without looking back, the high from their actions evaporating as quick as it came. It takes until they're back on the main populated streets of Forks until they can breathe properly- that is until Eli's phone rings.

"Is that Adeline again?" Bella sighs, knowing of the woman's persistence with Elias. He refused to acknowledge her existence, unless its answering her many phone calls to threaten a restraining order.

"No, I blocked her number when she woke me up last night," Elias grumbles sourly, getting the device out his black jean pockets- he'd just gotten to sleep when she started ringing constantly. "It's Jake," he tells, before answering the call, "Hey Jake, you're on speaker."

There's one voice shouting and a struggle of breath through the phone. "Hey, we're waiting on you," he announces, then a swear 'to go' away is hissed before someone cries in surprise. "Jace is trying to seal the keys off me to have a go on the bikes, I've punched him once and he's still being annoying."

Jace's voice is full of ridicule in the background, "Oh' bite me, Black!"

Elias and Bella let out matching laughs at the twos antics- they're worse than a married couple sometimes. "We're on our way to you, don't let Jace near the bikes until we get there," Bella orders.

"Yeah," Elias agrees, humour making his voice lighter, "Especially since I want to see if he falls off."

Jake snorts once. "Okay, sounds good. See you soon you two," he mutters, and before it disconnects they hear his shout for Jace to stop trying to touch the keys. Elias rolls his eyes at them and pockets his phone.

"Should we talk about it?" Bella asks, chewing on her lip again. A nervous tick.

Elias lifts one brow in question, "The possibility of one of us dying on the bikes?" He muses.

"No," Bella huffs, rolling her eyes until her expression sobers up in the thought."Well, we'll get to that. But no, I was talking about last night, or maybe what we just did back there."

Elias makes his expression lighten and his voice into a plea. "I have no clue what you're on about, your honour. I don't have any knowledge of any damaged property," he vows like he would on trial at court.

Bella tuts at him, taking one hand off the wheel to smack his knee. "Stop deflecting," she whines.

Eli's eyes narrow, making her serious expression blur. "Then stop asking hard questions," he whines back.

She sighs, used to the mood he's in. The one where he'll deflect and joke until someone stops asking or they give up- Bella isn't that kind of person. "Elias," she said his name like someone would a misbehaving child.

Elias groans, his head getting thrown back onto the leather seats. He knows she's too damn persistent but he still had to try. "Fine," he settles, giving into her, especially as she looks at him with dark glistening eyes.

"I don't know what I'm feeling or what I want to do about that fact," he expresses, fingers curling to his neck scar as he thinks it over. "I just know that right now, I have a date with my friends with some motorcycles and the possibility all of Jakes hard work is going to go to waste as soon as I crash the thing."

His grin is wide and real, despite his words. Bella looks at it, feeling the worry- that had been there since he came to her sobbing last night- settle in her chest. "Don't crash," she advises.

•••

"It's been great to see you everyday you know?" Jace tells Elias as he drives the Rabbit, his gaze soft and nervous like. "To see how you've come out a little more, as time comes along."

They're driving south, going to a place that won't get them caught by adults whilst test driving the bikes. Eli's hadn't been paying much attention to anything but the surroundings. The road they're on weaved in and out of the trees- for the first ten minutes- then the ocean appeared so suddenly Elias almost pressed his nose against the glass to get a better view of the drop of cliffs and water.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Elias asks, genuinely confused. Jace normally says whatever he wants and his meanings are usually clear, but this has a deeper meaning he's not telling.

Jace's mouth twists and Elias knows  he probably feels nervous under his eyes- like most people. "It's just, the first time I saw you after the whole..."  he doesn't say the word, the name, but Elias knows what he means and it echoes a burn in his chest. Jace carries on quickly at the sight of his wince, "You were less sarcastic, a lot more quiet then I remembered. And not, 'I'm just observing everyone kind of quiet', more like, 'I'm stuck pretending I don't exist kind of quiet'."

Eli's hands come up to push against the loose curls on his head, "I wasn't pretending I don't exist," he scoffs, trying to imagine it from Jace's perspective. It would like like that, he guessed. "I was..." the words on his tongue get stuck as he doesn't want to admit them out loud.

Jace just smiles a little more at Elias, all encouraging, pointing his copper skinned fingers against Eli's side. "Come on, don't go quiet on me now Sherwood, we're just getting to the dark part of you."

He says it so nicely, Elias realises. Not like others do when asking him to speak, to tell them the troubles of his mind- they all ask with fear, of apprehension from waiting for his bad answers.

"I was just figuring out how to exists with all of the shit going in my head," the Sherwood boy whispers, finding it easy to admit to Jace. But as the words settle into the air, he doesn't like how they turn things so serious. "I exist," he chuckles with force, leaning over to smack Jace's arm, "You feel that? That's from someone who exists."

"Still got the same blunt streak," he coughs a laugh, but it gets cut with a frown, like he had a afterthought. It doesn't help when he looks at Eli's for a moment and then back at the road. "Though..." he trails off, as if it will offend Eli, like whatever person Elias has turned into can't take the truth.

The anger burns again in his chest, but it's at himself. Does he seem weak? Is he really a person who looks and acts vulnerable- that isn't him, it wouldn't be. "Tell me," he demands.

Jaces face wavers, teeth chewing on his plump bottom lip. "Come on, when have I ever been offended when you said something about me?" Eli eggs on, eyebrows rising.

The older boy shakes his head a little, "I'm not concerned with you being offended, I just don't want you to be..." sad, depressed, repressed, there's a million negative emotions Elias has turned into. Jace sighs again, shifting the cars gears with a little too much force, "You know I'm not good with words, can you read eyes?"

"I'm not that good at it anymore, sorry," Eli tells, wincing. He used to be pretty good at understand everyone, but it was hard enough trying to understand himself.

"You can read Bella pretty well," Jace points out thoughtfully.

Eli's eyes roll on their own accord. "Reading her is like reading my own name," he shifts in his seat until he's facing Jace, trying to pay more attention. "Come on, back to your original point."

"When I last saw you, you had this ease of confidence, as if you knew you could get yourself out of any situation with your smart mouth alone," his worry turns back into the flirty expression he normally wears, "or by how insanely gorgeous you are," he sends a wink to a Elias, who shows no reaction to it, which makes Jace laugh to himself. "The more time I spend with you, it's been nice seeing you try find that again."

Elias doesn't feel gorgeous. He doesn't feel like he used to- he didn't feel sure people found him mildly attractive anymore, he didn't feel sure he could use his appearance to his advantage. That disappeared when he did.

"Loving someone with everything you have and they leaving you without a goodbye really knocks your ego," Elias says quietly, not meaning to, but being around Jace relaxes him a little too much.

The burn comes back in his chest, half angry at himself and half at him, and so, so so hurt about all of it. It causes his hands to clench into fists.

Jace's face opens up into shock. "He left without saying anything?" He almost gasps.

"I don't..." Eli gasps, but can't finish it. I don't what? I don't make me talk about him? I don't you talk about him? "What are you doing?" Eli barks out when Jace dips his head down, trying to search for something on Eli's face.

"Trying to read eyes since you can't talk," the boy mutters, getting closer, scrutinising him like a drill Sargent.

Eli looks at the road for a moment, checking they're driving straight- they are. So it's safe for Elias to lean forward and ask, "go on, what do my eyes say about me?"

Jace's dark brows pull together as he starts shaking his head- it makes Eli's heart thud. What the hell did they give away?

"I don't know... but despite being such a light colour they have a darkness about them," Jace croons, trying to get a better look at Eli's eyes. "Like they're the colour of burnt coals, but at the same time they seem dark. I don't know how to explain it."

"They do say eyes are windows to the soul," the Sherwood tells, looking back at Jace. His face is surprisingly pleasing to look at and despite his eyes being dark they radiate happiness. "Your eyes are black right now, but comforting, especially since they glint all the time, even when it's dark out. That's a sign you have a good soul," the boy says the last part in a promise. There's no doubt Jace had a good soul.

The words make him flush a little, he pulls back from Elias with a gracious smile. "Thanks," he whispers, and Eli straightens up too, trying not to let Jace's reaction bother him too much. "Wait, what does your eyes say about you, then?"

For the first time in months, Elias feels his smile come out like it used to- sharp, cunning and all for the wrong reasons at the moment. "It doesn't matter, I don't have a soul anymore."

The older boy seems dazed as he stares at Elias- at the darkness on show for a moment, and only a pinch of whatever Jace knows Elias is hiding.

"Shit!" Jace shouts, slamming on the brakes of the rabbit, stopping it from crashing into the back of Bellas truck.

Elias looks up in alarm, one hand already on the door handle as he expects the worse. But it's just Bella jumping out, running to the edge of the cliff to their left. It takes Elias a moment to see what she's looking at; there's a group of people throwing themselves off the edge and into the waters bellow.

"Cliff jumpers?" Elias guesses in awe at the graceful motion of people falling, looking to Jace.

He nods solemnly, his eyes no longer holding their glint. Elias sends him a dubious look. "Steroid gang," he explains distastefully.

Sam Uley and his followers. Elias knows about them from Jace. They're like a gang, only they help keep the peace instead of disturbing it. Their presence made the other teens apprehensive, since it was as if they walked around with some invisible badge of honour and law- especially since the council backed whatever shit they were up to.

They especially made Jace wary, and that made Eli's fingers spread out and want to spark in heat. As if Jace needed protecting by Elias. They're just teens, they can't do anything to him.

"Are they still being weird with you?" Elias frowns, not liking how the sight of the group has made Jace react. His knuckles were white on the wheel.

"It's gotten worse. I've been trying to avoid them, but it's hard when your brother is with them all the time," the anger in his voice shocks Eli- he's sure Jace doesn't have a bad bone in his body- it must be serious if he's angry.

Elias doesn't even think as he places his hand on top of the other boys, trying to comfort him like he does with Bella. "If you ever need help I'm always down to destroy property and break noses," he shrugs.

Jace grins, the light coming back to his eyes and making it easier for Eli to inhale. His larger hand twists into Eli's, threading their fingers together. "I'll definitely remember that, we can call it a date."

The situation dawns on Elias. He wants to pull away, to snap something hurtful, to keep the boy away. Jace is too good, he always will be. He doesn't need someone like Elias, someone damaged beyond repair, someone incapable of giving him all the things he deserved.

No one should want Elias now and he doesn't want anyone- the thought of love, of opening himself to someone so intimately again, it makes his skin crawl in a way that it never has before. He'd never categorised himself as a loving person before him,  he never actively wanted to be in love or find it before him, and he never thought he would... maybe he was the only exception.

And look how that turned out.

But at the same time, Eli loves Jace, but not that in that way. He loves Jace the way he loves Bella- not nearly as strong, sure, but on the same type of love- the type you'd protect them no matter what, the type you'd do whatever they wanted to just to see them smile. The type that made you irrotational yet made you feel sane.

"You're a cocky bastard of a friend, do you know that?" Elias scoffs, slyly letting go of his hand and smacking him on the arm instead.

Jace laughs, the sound deep and light at the same time. It's refreshing to the ears. "I do it to see your weird reactions," he teases, poking the boy back in the thigh.

They start driving again- after Elias smacks the horn to make Bella and Jake climb back into her truck. The place they stop at is beautiful- they're surrounded by pale grey mountains and a small body of grey water. The floor is dull and sandy and as dry as it can be for where they live, so Elias isn't as worried as he thought he would be about the risk of sliding around whilst driving.

He's not in a rush to have a go either, now he knows it's just the four of them in the silent place. He doesn't know what it is, but the place reminds him of somewhere, of something.

"I like it here," Elias mutters, leaning against Bella's truck, looking around them. The ache of a burn in his heart wasn't as noticeable for the moment.

"Because it's pretty?" Jace assumes, always trying to find the source of people's thinking.

Eli half shrugs, still looking around. What was it? "More of the feeling of being here," he corrects with a content sign.

"It's dead out here Elias, " Jace frowns, looking around, "literally dead. Like the worlds stopped turning. It's actually kind of eerie."

Oh, Elias realises with a jolt of dark humour and pain, that's why it was familiar and comforting. It reminded Eli of them.

Elias pushes the way his heart- and now the beginning of his head- pulse with pain. "Scaredy cat," he jokes, elbowing the older boy. It's a poor attempt to rid the concern on Jace's face but it works.

"Oh' bite me, Sherwood," he huffs, his lips curving up.

"You do look tasty Cameron, but the only time I want to see you injured is when you fall off the bikes," he mocks with a smirk, nodding towards the other unoccupied bike next to where Bella and Jake are standing.

"Hey, do you need lessons?" Jace remembers, "as much as I'd laugh when you fell, I don't want you to hurt yourself."

"Definitely not," Elias scoffs, pocketing his hands into his black hoodie pockets. "My dad and I used to race around some small tracks in California on some rentals. We had to stop because I broke my ankle falling off and my mom flipped out."

That makes Jace smile. "Well I don't have a bike but I could borrow Jakes and try find a course somewhere close. Or maybe we could all go together and take turns." The offer warms Elias in a good way. "Who's getting the other bike?" He points to the black bike that Bella is sat on, going over the controls with Jake.

"Bella and I are gonna share it. It'll mostly be at mine since Charlie will have a heart attack if he sees it or even knows about it," Not that my mom will be much different, Eli thinks.

"How did you pay for all the parts?" Jace wiggles his brows, nudging him with his elbow.

Eli's tilts his head, hand coming out his pocket to scratch his neck. "...I dipped into my college fund without telling my parents," he admits, only a small bit guilty. If he was honest, he isn't planning on going to college, it's why he'd ignored all the deadlines and administration forms Forks High School had pushed onto him.

"Oh, please let me be there when you tell your mom that, you're gonna be in so trouble," Jace sings, his head getting thrown back in laughter.

Elias thinks back to his parents and the relationship they had now. "I always am."

The sound of a roar of a bike and someone stalling it makes Eli look up. Bella looks flustered yet determined as she sits on the bike.

"Make sure to teach her about the breaks!" Elias yells, because he can't help but not to. Jake sends him a sarcastic look, going back to talking about instructions to Bella.

"Since when did you get so paternal?" Jace asks, which causes Eli to roll his eyes. Jace continues on with curiosity. "I know you hate it when people mistake you two for a couple, but it's kind of hard not to."

"Bella and I don't date," Eli says, a little too stiff to come across as causal. He looks away from Jace, swallowing his disgust as he adds on, "especially not with each other."

Jace hums, making Eli look back. His face is all open and lit up with humour. "I guess I can understand why, you are a dick," he tuts.

The pale boys eyes almost roll out his head. "Fuck off," he scoffs in the same tone, coming up to scratch his neck again.

Jaces gaze follows his hand. "Hey, how did you get that scar on your neck?" He frowns, ducking a little so he can look at it better. Elias freezes. "It looks like someone tried to slit your throat Eli."

The memory comes back- a wrecked ballet studio, the hunters face so close to Eli's, the smell of burning coming from around them, the blood being everywhere. He can almost feel the pain from his head cracking, from James' nail digging in and across Eli's throat. "Just a little taste," James whispers, bringing his blood soaked thumb back to his lips.

Jace is usually good at avoiding things that trigger Elias, like their name or asking anything about them. This time, it's not his fault, Eli knows that- his injury is like a neon question sign since it's on his neck, and it's supposed to be a injury unrelated to them- it was supposed to be from a accident in a hotel.

"Is that what happened?" Jace voices, appalled. Elias goes to rearrange his features, his eyes, sure that's what gave him away- but his face is a mask as it usually is whenever someone asks about the things he can't tell.

And that's the problem; Jace isn't just anyone. He's not a stranger who looks for the obvious signs of lying in another stranger, or someone who doesn't know Elias. It wasn't a reaction or no reaction that gave Elias away- it was the fact he didn't snap back with a "of course not," straight away- it was the second of delay, the way way his breath missed a hitch before continuing as normal.

See, people are always looking for the parts Elias isn't showing, they don't ever realise the things he's already giving away.

Jacob screams Bella's name, the urgency and panic in his voice terrorises Elias. The boy turns, just catching the way the Bella rolls off the unstable bike, before his own body kicks into action.

He jumps into the Chevy truck, Jace just behind him. Eli's aware that Jace is shouting at him to calm down but he can't even begin to focus on that. He floors the truck down the stretch of sand, annoyance building as it drives too slow. Please be okay, I can't lose you too.

By the time he's down the road and next to Bella, Jake is already there, his shirt off and pressed against a bleed on the girls forehead.

"You're apologizing for bleeding?" Elias hears Jake asks incredulously, his face pulled into confusion as he stares at Bella.

"Bella, you're seriously so accident prone," Eli pants out, squatting down next to her, checking her over, his heart hammering. She's okay, she's okay. "How do even walk without killing yourself?"

The brunette gives her best friend a loopy smile, completely at ease, calming him down. "You tripped over my bra yesterday," she reminds him, as if the two incidents compare to each other.

It works. A laugh bubble up and out- completely care free and stress free. Bella follows the sound, finding the whole situation funny as well.

"They're both crazy," Jake tells Jace, who's shaking his head in agreement.

•••

Elias drives the bike home, cutting it off halfway on his street and gliding the rest of the way to his house- the noise of the thing will give him away. He leans the bike against the side of his house, making sure it's hidden behind some bushes so no one can see it. Then he makes sure to pocket the keys and ruffle his wind blown hair so he looks normal, like Bella had dropped him off.

The doors unlocked when he tries it, which is a good sign. Walking in, he sucks in a sharp breath and looks around, burning the memories that come to the surface in determination. This was his home, he wouldn't run from it anymore.

"Um, mom, dad?" Elias calls out, voice cracking. He's still stuck to the floor near the door, as if he needs permission to walk further. Or encouragement.

Cassandra appears from the living room, surprised and delighted when she spots its him. "Elias," she breathes out his name in relief, almost running to wrap him into a hug.

He inhales in her comforting scent, eyes closing momentarily, "Hey mom."

She pulls back from him, checking over him, trying to recognise signs of hurt or injury. "What's wrong? Is everything okay?"

He holds up the brown paper bag in his hand like it's a peace offering.

"I brought white chocolate brownies, and ice cream... movie night?" He offers unsurely, like he doesn't know how to be around her anymore- which is true. The old Elias was at ease around people, this Elias isn't sure how to act.

Then his mom is smiling, her hand wrapping around his arm with a little force, as if he's going to run. "Always," she answers, pushing him into the living room where the rest of his family is.

Easton is the first to greet him. "Elias!" He shouts, getting up from his position on the couch, next to his dad. He runs, and Elias has time to bend down and prepare himself for the hug so his brother doesn't knock him off his feet. "Where's Bella?" Easton asks, eyeing the space behind Eli like she might appear.

"Just me tonight kid," Eli tells, ignoring how his dads face gives away his shock. "I got you strawberry, look," he pulls the pint of ice cream out of the bag, passing it to the eager boy.

"You're the best brother ever," Easton swears, rushing off to the kitchen with a grin that could light the sky.

Elias looks to his parents, ignoring the urge to trace his neck scar, and sees how they're both watching him cautiously. As if they're unsure he's stable enough to stay or if he's about to run off within a second, like last night...

"How was your day?" Elias grinds out, forcing himself to move to sit next to them on the couch, to not curl into himself as the pain pulses in his chest as he thinks of how changed he is now- all because of him. "What did you do today?" Or yesterday? What will you do tomorrow?

The questions come at Elias full force and it takes a effort to stop himself speaking. How is Easton when I'm not here? How are you? How's the shop? What are workers names again? Has Adeline been trying to contact you, too? Are you two okay? Can you stop staring at me in surprise please?

By the time he's asked everything that comes to mind, they've gotten past two movies and all of the icecream. Elias finally feels his chest lighten as he learns about the things he didn't want to know only yesterday- he didn't want to know simply because the guilt was threatening to break him... now, he was all broken and trying to mend again. Now he felt like he could take it.

He definitely could take the way his moms eyes lit up when he announced he'd take Easton to bed before heading to bed too. And the way she kisses his head before he went.

Once Eli tucks his brother in, he's not entirely surprised to find his dad watching both of his sons from the doorway. "I'll make up the guest room for you," he says.

"No," Eli calls, which pauses his dad from walking out. Shuffling on his feet from under David's surprised eyes, Eli's next words come out less confident then he intends, "no, it's okay, I'll go to my room tonight."

"Are you sure?" David says tentatively, and for once Eli doesn't feel like he's inspecting him- maybe because he's too shocked at the moment.

"Yeah, yeah it's fine," Eli mutters, walking past him, ignoring how his hands shake and his head starts to pulse in another headache as soon as he heads for his door.

"Elias?" David calls, making the boy look back. There's a odd vulnerability on his face, especially as he runs a hand through his light brown hair. "Me and mom talked, if it's too...hard being here, don't force yourself here. We want you home, but we want you to heal, too."

Oh, Elias thinks with a appreciation, appreciation of how hard that must have been for his dad to agree to, to admit that his own son hated the house that was supposed to be home.

Elias feels his emotions harden- screw the pain. Screw him for hurting Elias, screw himself for not facing his problems sooner, for letting this go on for months.

"I'm going to do both," Elias tells him with determination, liking how his dads face lit up with pride. "Night dad," he nods, opening his bedroom door.

Elias doesn't pause and take in the room, he doesn't even wait for the pain to come before moving- he goes straight for his bed as the exhaustion hits, he throws himself on it like he used to; despite being so tired, his mind lights up and Eli can't help but start thinking about how he needs to change. He wasn't going to ignore everything anymore, he wasn't going to pretend he left, he had to sort the mess he made in the time he was denying the fact.

Start of a new chapter, he reminds himself tiredly.

His story with Jasper is over- and ignoring the whirlwind of emotions that came with that- Elias now has to figure out what the rest of his human life will be like without him.

So Elias finally opened the box of pain that was Jasper leaving and has decided to sort everything out. He's a little all over the place, but did you expect any less from the little spitfire?

Don't be a silent reader!