Chapter 12 - 혼동 (HON-DONG)[Confusion]

I paced in my dorm back and forth, refreshing the BigHit youtube channel every two seconds. My MV would be out any minute now. It's been about two days since the shooting and my manager texted me saying everything would be ready and uploaded by two. My puppies watched from the couch as I went from one side of the living room to the other, mumbling inaudible sentences every now and then.

"Be quiet."groaned Yoongi, sitting up on my couch while rubbing his eyes with his white long sleeve that covered his entire hand cutely."Your footsteps are too loud."

"I'm nervous."I whisper, my pace picking up as I ran a hand through my hair in an attempt to calm down my heart which was nearing the point of imploding.

"Hey chill Roxi, you'll do fine."he grumbles, pulling me by the back of my shirt onto the couch so I could stop pacing."You want me to tell you something?"

I bit my lip and shook my head, looking at my phone screen. My hands trembled along the screen as I felt my whole body shake in rhythm to my heart.

"I don't care I'll tell you anyway."he sighs, pulling me into his chest and petting my head as if I were a child."Uncle Suga will tell you a story to make you feel better."

I look at him, trying to hold in my laughing by covering my mouth."Uncle?"

"You can call me Daddy Suga if you want."he smirked, poking my sudden flushed red cheeks with one hand."What are you thinking about? Nothing naughty I hope."

"N-No thank you Yoongi-oppa is fine."I stutter, punching his shoulder to hid my embarrassment.

"Okay then."he chuckles, letting me rest my head on his shoulder as I listened to his story that was delivered by his calm voice."When Bangtan was about to debut, I couldn't sleep for days before hand. I was always freaking out, thinking about the worst outcomes that could happen...maybe we wouldn't be popular enough. Maybe we got hate and ended up disbanding. And the time for our first MV came by. It went well, since my expectations were pretty low."

"And?"I ask, refreshing my phone once more.

"Well, let's just say...it doesn't get any better."he says, giving my arm a reassuring squeeze."To be honest, I always get that feeling before having an MV released. So you better get used to it or else your life as an idol will be a complete hell. But I mean, there is a chance of going viral."

"Wow...thanks for the advice."I thank, letting Yoongi pull me ontop of him, cuddling into me as he fell back asleep.

I shake my head and shift a bit so he was pressed against the couch cushions and I was laying on my side facing the coffee table in a spooning position.

'He seems to like cuddling.'

I snicker to myself finding his soft side really cute. I've known him for around a month, and it already seems like we've known each other for our entire lives. Yoongi would always come into my dorm everyday after his dance practices and would just fall asleep on the couch while the other members were being obnoxious in their own dorm. Sometimes when he woke up we would listen to music and talk about life casually. Out of all the others, I think my relationship with him was the strongest. Yet...Yet...

'He doesn't know about my past...'

I felt guilty, but our friendship was going so well, that if I told him now he might think of me differently. So everyday, I decided against telling him. There was a notification on my phone that made my heart stop. It was a notification from ibighit.

'Roxi - 자랐어요(Grew Up) M/V'

My heart seized up and I shakily put my phone on the coffee table faced down. I still haven't gotten the permission to watch it. Since my manager would probably want a reaction from me, so I would need to wait. But seeing my glowing face on the thumbnail looked so alluring...I would check the number of views soon...once I wake up. My eyes closed and I fell...finally...into a peaceful sleep.

~Time Skip~

I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. Yoongi turned on his side and groaned, a slight swear leaving his mouth. I sat up and picked up the phone, my manager squealing on the other line. I flinch as my ear started ringing from the pitch that made my puppies hide in the other room.

"What?"I ask in a croaky voice.

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ROXI! DID YOU SEE THE M/V?!?! NO WAIT DON'T WATCH IT YET! BUT I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT!"

"What is it?"I ask, getting up from the couch and leaving my dorm to let Yoongi sleep.

"YOUR MV GOT OVER 7 MILLION VIEWS IN ONLY FOUR HOURS! YOU DESTROYED BTS'S RECORD OF 6.84 MILLION VIEWS IN A DAY!"another squeal followed as I looked at my phone, it was only six pm."AND THE VIEWS ARE STILL COMING! ROXI YOU'RE A KPOP SENSATION!"

"..."

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. This was too good to be true. Getting that many views on a debut song that fast was impossible.

"Roxi? You there?"

"...Am I dreaming?"I whisper, my throat containing my screeches.

"LIKE HELL YOU AREN'T!"cheered my manager."I'M SO PROUD OF YOU ROXI! GO ENJOY YOUR BREAK BEFORE YOUR DEBUT STAGE!"

"Thank you."

She hung up with one final congratulations and I was left in the hallway, my back leaning against my door. My breathing was off, and my heart felt as if it were going to beat out of my chest. But this time...It felt good. It felt exhilarating. I slowly opened the door and walked back inside, feeling light on my feet as I went over to the couch and slowly sat down. Everything was happening so fast I could barely think straight. I actually made it. Yoongi opened his eyes and shifted his dark irises to me who sat to his left.

"Did something happen?"he yawned, taking notice of the darkness from the windows."Damn, what time is it?"

"No...my MV came out well I guess."I say, clenching my phone with a smile on my face."It's around 6:43."

"Good job."he smiles, giving my shoulder a firm squeeze before getting up and heading to the door."I should get to dinner, you coming?"

"No thank you, I just...need to get my thoughts together."I decline, waving him off."You go have fun."

"Okay if you say so."he waves."See you tomorrow Roxi."

"See you Yoongi-oppa."

The door closes behind him and I wait for a moment before I know he's left the hallway before jumping onto the couch, squealing like a fangirl as I landed on the couch with a soft thud. My chest heaved, I got up and slammed my head on the pillow nearby.

'I can't believe it.'

3rd P.O.V

Yoongi walked into the Bangtan dorm, being met with the group of males who were getting ready for dinner. He walked by and fixed his hair in a nearby mirror, figuring he looked alright right now.

"Do you want to head down to the restaurant now?"he asked in a bored tone.

"Sure hyung!~"smiled V, fixing up his own hair and unwrinkling his t-shirt.

The other five got ready and used the elevator to get down to the first floor before crossing the quiet street, reaching the restaurant just in time for dinner. They all took their seat and talked about their day, some more than others. The conversation consisted more of dancing, photos, and the usual talk of random things like any another outing. Jungkook looked up at the TV screen to see a familiar female and quickly swallowed his food before politely asking to turn the volume up. The other six turned around and looked at the screen, which was airing allkpop.

"History was broken today as rookie AJ Torrez, also known as Roxi, debuted at around two o'clock this afternoon with her first M/V called 'Grew Up'. After receiving much love from BigHit fans and JYP, her music video became viral here in Korea. Reaching over seven million views in only four hours, beating Bangtan Boys' 'Blood Sweat & Tears' former record of 6.8 million views in a day by a landslide! Here are the highlights of her performance!"

The camera panned from the female host to the said girl's M/V. A melodious voice filled the room as a quick beat made the TV vibrate slightly. The appearance of the bed scene, where Roxi wore only a white silk sleeping gown that reached mid-thigh and white knee-high socks. The clips switched to the swing set which slowly moved back and forth effortlessly with the wind. She wore classic white converse highs, ripped blue jeans, and a baggy grey tank top with a white hoodie. The screen switched to the destruction of the bedroom, Roxi threw multiple vases onto the floor, punching the mirror until droplets of blood fell from her knuckles and cuts on her arms allowed to bleed onto the plush white carpet below. The song slowed down until suddenly picking up with Roxi dancing in a bar, her tight black dress fitting all her curves as she danced with the beat, her hips moving from side to side naturally. The highlights ended and the woman came onto the screen once more.

"And there you have it everyone! The newest rookie soloist debuting with BigHit Entertainment, AJ Torrez! Fighting!"

The commercials begin and the room is left in utter silence. Every idol stopped what they were doing, mesmerized by the M/V. Just as soon as it started, the silence ended as people went back to what they were doing before.

"Her M/V looks so cool!"praises V, finishing his dinner.

The members agree, a feeling of pride erupting in their chests as they realized that their friend has had a very successful debut, and more opportunities were open to her as of now. They take their leave back to their dorm to see Roxi walking out of the dorm building, still unaware of the members who were close by in the darkness. The light of her phone contrasted against the darkness of night. Yoongi stopped the rest of them from coming any closer to the entrance so she could have her privacy. It was either that or he wanted to eavesdrop. The others stayed in the darkness, unable to understand why their friend was making them stay back.

"Hello?"

Her quiet voice echoed through the silence of the night. The boys held in their breath as silence soon followed for a few minutes before a sigh passed the younger girl's lips.

"When?"

More silence.

"Why?"

Even more.

"I don't understand. He was just fine a month ago..."

The painful lack of noise made every single breeze of the wind seem like a roaring engine as the vague conversation continued.

"Yeah, now I see why you want me to come outside ma'am. Thank you for telling me, I'll be at the hospital tomorrow morning. No no, I can get there myself. Thank you. I will wait for more information when it comes."

Roxi ends the phone call, a shaky breath leaving her lungs as she took in some fresh air before walking back inside. The door slamming shut behind her.